Welcome to Would You Read It Wednesday!

So exciting!  We get to start today’s post with Straight From The Editor x3 – words of wisdom from editor Erin Molta about the November/December, January/Early February, and Late February/March winning pitches!!!

The winner of the November/December Pitch Pick was Megan with her PB pitch for Wired To Worry.  Her pitch was as follows:

Wired To Worry (PB 4-8)

Bot arrives on the doorstep in a smiling box, ready to lead a perfectly programmed life.  Except he’s not perfect.  Bot has an extra worry port and everything from dripping water to malfunctioning lasers threatens to overload his system.  But when disaster strikes, Bot just might find that being wired to worry isn’t a fatal error after all.

Here are Erin’s thoughts:

This is cute. I would suggest minor changes to make it less passive. See what I’ve done below.

Bot arrives on the doorstep in a smiling box, ready to lead a perfectly programmed life.  Except he’s not perfect.  Bot has an extra worry port and everything from dripping water to malfunctioning lasers overloads his system.  But when disaster strikes, Bot discovers that being wired to worry isn’t a fatal error after all.

The winner of the January/Early February Pitch Pick was Paul with his PB pitch for All Over THe. World.  His pitch was as follows:

All Over The World (PB 4-8)
In a whirlwind tour of the world, from the Outback to Peru to Israel and Cameroon, ALL OVER THE WORLD (249 words, ages 6-8) reminds us that rain falls. The sun shines. Plants grow. Birds fly. Children read and laugh and play and write. Parents kiss their children and tuck them into bed at night. And all of us, regardless of age or gender, irrespective of orientation or creed, no matter our continent or city or home, share the same struggles and triumphs, fears and dreams, joys and laughter and hopes. All over the world.

Here are Erin’s thoughts:

While I am sure this is a heartwarming book, it’s coming across as a textbook. You are telling us what it’s about, rather than showing us. I suggest choosing two scenes that show children doing different things to accomplish the same thing—like going to bed, for instance. Something more like: A child in Swaziland  exercises before bed and his mama gives him a kiss before his head hits the pillow, while a child in Indiana, USA, reads a story before she gets a hug from her grandma before bed (and then you can add)) Regardless of age or gender, no matter our continent, all of us share the same fears and dreams, joys and sadness, laughter and hopes—all over the world.

The winner of the Late February/March Pitch Pick was Shae with her PB pitch for Skritch, Scratch Snuffle.  Her pitch was as follows:

Skritch, Scratch, Snuffle (PB 3-8)

Waffles, an anxious wombat, has trouble keeping her fears to a manageable size. She hears a noise and imagines a “what-if” monster which grows as her imagination runs wild. She’s certain she’s going to be eaten, until her echidna friend, Chicken, appears at her door and together they find the true source of the noise and overcome the monster by talking about Waffles feelings.

Here are Erin’s thoughts:

Love the title of this picture book! But your pitch seems too staid and over written. Short and to the point is always the best choice. You might consider something more like this: Waffles, an anxious wombat, is worried. She hears a noise and her imagination runs wild. She’s certain she’s going to be eaten, until her echidna friend, Chicken, appears and together they overcome the “monster” by talking about Waffles feelings.

I hope you all find Erin’s expert comments as helpful as I do!  She is so generous about sharing her expertise so that we can learn and improve!

All that learning has put me in the mood for Something Chocolate! How about you? Seems like a perfect day for cookie baking, and these Dark Chocolate Brown Sugar Cookies have the perfect chewy texture on the inside with just a bit of crisp on the outside!

Dark Chocolate Brown Sugar Cookie

Yum! So chocolate-y and delicious!  Grab a cup of coffee or tea, or a glass of milk, dunk, and enjoy! 😊

Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Jenny Prevost.  Jenny is an aspiring picture book author and french fry aficionado who also loves coffee, her small southern town, and going on adventures with her hilariously loud family. (3 kids, 2 pets, 1 husband and a partridge in a pear tree. Kidding, no pear trees… only citrus ones.) She interviews authors and shares writerly musings at www.jennyprevost.com and ‘mom stuff’ over on  www.thelafayettemom.com.

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Priya Paints Backwards

Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)

The Pitch: Priya thinks blank pages are scary and art class is hard; harder for her than everyone else, at least.  When you add in other opinions and constant comparisons, she’s sure she’ll never make a masterpiece.  Then one day, she turns it all around, and finally finds her way.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Jenny improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)

Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above.  There are openings in May – like, ALL of them! – so you could get your pitch up next week for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta!

Jenny is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to getting a few pitches from all of you for the May line up!