Would You Read It #333 – Well Spotted, Joey (Short Story) PLUS The June Pitch Winner!!!

Hello, Lovelies!

I hope you are all excited for the 50th Anniversary of the Moon Landing!

I know I am!

The whole idea of getting into a rocket and flying into space to walk on the moon is just so thrilling, don’t you think?

I have learned so many things about the Apollo 11 mission, not just from writing my book and sharing it with kids, but also from the newspaper this past week.

True or false?  Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins, and Buzz Aldrin all weighed 165 pounds and were all within an inch of 5′ 11″?

True or false? The astronauts ate Pop Tarts for their pre-lift-off breakfast?

True or false? A rocket weighs more than 6 times as much as a 747 Jumbo Jet and can travel 40 times as fast? 🚀✈️

True or false? Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were saved by quick thinking and a pen?

True or false? One of the Apollo 11 astronauts was born on a popular holiday?

Maybe if I’m feeling very nice I’ll tell you the answers at the end 😊

Meanwhile, let’s talk about the winner of the June Pitch Pick.

In an (I think!) unprecedented moment in WYRI history, we actually had a tie!  It was one of the closest pitch picks ever, as all 4 pitches came within just a few points of each other, but I’m pleased to announce that the winners were Deborah (Farmer Jo And The Chicken Coop Calamity) and Ana (Bella The Best Quits Again).  Congratulations!  Fabulous pitches!  I will send them both to editor Erin Molta and prevail upon her extraordinary kindness to get her thoughts on both.

Congratulations also to Christina and Diana who also did a fantastic job and had very nearly as many votes as the two who won!  Tough competition this month!  But great job all around!!!

Truly, all that talk about rockets and ties has made me feel a tad faint.  I believe Something Chocolate is called for.  (Really, any excuse will do 😊)  Hmm… what should we have today?

Nothing says breakfast like marshmallow-filled chocolate cupcakes…! 😊

Marshmallow Filled Cupcakes

marshmallow-cupcakes-filled

Recipe HERE at HugsAnd Cookies.com

As Cookie Monster would say, “Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom!”

😊

Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Corine.  Corine Timmer is a self-published author, haiku poet, nature lover, and street dog advocate. She lives in the countryside in Portugal together with her adopted dogs and her beloved donkey, Lolita. When she is not writing, tending to her animals, or creating artwork, she enjoys nature walks, visiting art galleries, and eating with friends. She loves chocolate! You can visit her on her website www.bicadeideias.com ”

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Well Spotted, Joey

Age/Genre: Short Story (ages 8-12) nonfiction

The Pitch: When Joey, who is nearsighted, forgets his glasses at the safari lodge, the morning game drive becomes increasingly frustrating. His family are spotting wildlife every five minutes and he cannot see farther than the bonnet of the jeep. Just when he is about to have a tantrum, a change of focus leads to a discovery that saves the day.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Corine improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)

Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above.  There are openings in September, which at this point is not all that far away, but you have time to polish your pitch before putting it up for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta!

Corine is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to making you all go do some research to find out which of those questions were true and which were false!  Mwa ha ha! (how’s that for an evil laugh?! 😊)

Nah! I’m just kidding you!  They are all true except the pop tarts!  The astronauts actually had orange juice, steak and eggs, toast, and coffee for breakfast (surprisingly hearty, given they were about to get into a compartment about the size of a car and stay there for the better part of 8 days while traveling through space at 24,000 mph!). One little girl at an author visit I was on recently suggested the astronauts have ice cream sandwiches for breakfast, proving that I am not the only one who thinks ice cream for breakfast is a good idea! 😊 Oh, and if you’re wondering, Michael Collins was born on Halloween! 😊

Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! 🙂

 

Would You Read It Wednesday #301 – Drop The Dragon (PB) PLUS The July Pitch Pick PLUS The June Pitch Pick Winner!

Golly it’s been a busy week so far!

Somehow I’ve posted three days in a row!  Sorry about that!

But Tuesday and Wednesday are regular, and I had to get the Halloweensie Contest guidelines up on Monday to give you all some time to write… and at least you get a day off before PPBF… So next week we’ll be back to normal!

Today, however, I’m delighted to announce that the winner of the June Pitch Pick is Patricia with her PB pitch for Amy’s Birdsong Aires/American Composer Amy Cheney Beach!  Congratulations on a fabulous pitch for an interesting-sounding book, Patricia!  Your pitch is on its way to editor Erin Molta for her comments.

Congratulations also to all our other pitchers who worked hard on writing and revising their pitches and were brave enough to share them with us.  All your stories sound wonderful, and I hope the WYRI experience has helped you strengthen your pitches for future use with agents and editors!

Onward now to the July Pitch Pick – the last of the catch-ups, finally!  I so appreciate all of you being willing to read and vote for weeks in a row!

You all know the ropes by now! 🙂  but please read through the pitches and vote for your favorite in the poll below by Sunday October 14 at 9PM Eastern.

#1 – Katie – A BRUSH WITH DISASTER (PB ages 5-9) (previously titled The Boys Who Brushed Teeth Too Much)

Excited about a new toothbrush gaming app, Advik challenges neighbors then nations to compete. Brother Barun doesn’t bite. Instead, he boosts traditional brushing across communities and continents. When overbrushing overruns the world, the boys just stick to their ‘gums.’ Until tooth care supplies run out. United by need, they face (and fix) the painful impacts of their extreme habits. This modernized Panchatantra fable offers layers appealing to ages 5-9.

#2 – Gabrielle – MAGGIE’S NEW BIKE

Maggie wants shiny new wheels, not Dad’s old rust bucket. When Dad hints she could get one after she learns how to ride, Maggie gives the junker a second look. With determination and her barnyard cheering section of hens and roosters, Maggie soon discovers not every treasure comes from a store. This is a delightful story of one girls’ never-give-up attitude.

#3 – Sherry – Firestarter (MG Action/Adventure)

12 year old Cody’s mother left on the last day of school, and the care of his sisters and the small farm became his responsibility while his father works from dawn to dusk. Anxious to get away from his sisters demands and his father’s constant belittling, he makes plans to run away. But when smoke appears on the ridge above their home, he has to make a choice—fight the fire or leave his family to fend on their own. And to make matters worse, he has a secret that could cause him to lose his family for good and land him in jail.

#4 – Greg – The Remindeer (PB ages 4-10)

Wally has a very important job, to make sure everything goes smoothly for Santa on Christmas Eve. After going through his checklist and seeing Santa off, he discovers a present for Laurie has been left behind.

Unlike the other reindeer, Wally can’t fly. He calls a delivery service and finds out they are too busy to deliver the present. He’ll have to find another way to deliver the present and save Christmas for Laurie.

It’s a tough choice, I know!  But please vote if you can!

I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for Something Chocolate!  (Although I’m pretty much always ready for Something Chocolate, so that’s not news 🙂 ). How about some  Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Cookies?

Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Cookies

 

Scrumptious!  Luckily I made tons so everyone can have two or five or twenty or however many they want 🙂

Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Ciara who says, “I am a former teacher, mother of five, and corgi lover. I love puns. I might make them on an hourly basis. And I definitely think that there should be a job where one can be a personal shopper of picture books. That’s a thing, right?”

Find her on the web at ciaraoneal.weebly.com

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Drop The Dragon

Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-12)

The Pitch: A little girl’s best frenemy, the family dog, keeps stealing her toy dragon. Using her resourcefulness and imagination, she tries to thwart the theft. When the toy is held captive by the dreaded clothes line, these two will have to work together to save their beloved dragon.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Ciara improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)

Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above.  There is an opening next week! – October 17! – so someone send me a pitch! 🙂 Additional openings in November, so you could get your pitch up pretty soon for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta!

Ciara is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to getting all the prizes organized for the Halloweensie Contest!  I’m still searching for an agent or editor who would be willing to give a read and critique of a PB manuscript, so if any of you know anyone, please have your people get in touch with my people! 🙂

Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! 🙂

 

Would You Read It Wednesday #227 -Grandmother’s Parrots (PB) PLUS The May, June And July Pitch Pick Winners And Straight From The Editor!!!

Happy Wednesday to you, folks!

You know, I don’t when the world got so busy!  But it surely did!  Everyone but everyone seems to have more to manage than they can keep up with.  We all muddle along as best we can, but sometimes Straight From The Editors have to wait awhile until the editor in question has time to read and comment on the pitch!

I usually announce the pitch pick winners and tell them that their pitch is on its way to editor Erin Molta for her read and comments and they will hear from her shortly.  But THIS time, I sent the winning pitches to Erin and she replied before I got the post up, so today you get the whole shebang – pitch winners AND Straight From The Editor!

But, in our busy busy world, this time we’re AHEAD of schedule!  (Please take note and enjoy it… it’s not likely to ever happen again 🙂 )

So first off, the June Pitch Pick was won by Susan with her PB pitch for Bossy Bird.  Congratulations, Susan!!!  *confetti*  *multi-colored balloons*  *cheering from all sides!*

The July Pitch Pick was won by Robyn with her MG pitch for Fear On The Mountain.  Congratulations, Robyn!!!  *more confetti* *celebratory double-decker chocolate cupcakes*  *thunderous applause*

I’d also like to congratulate and thank all the other June and July pitchers who wrote strong pitches for amazing-sounding stories and then worked to revise their pitches based on your wonderful feedback.  It takes courage to share a pitch here!  And Would You Read It wouldn’t be what it is without all the  writers who put their work on the line, braving constructive criticism for the sake of their craft – so they can make their pitches stronger – and so all of us can learn.  Great job all of you!  Really!  And while I’m at it, I’d like to thank all of you for being so generous with your time and expertise, sharing your reactions, comments, advice and help each week to aid our pitchers on their quest for pitch perfection!  You are all lovely!!!

Moving right along, we’ve now got Straight From The Editor for May, June AND July!

 

May – Melissa – Walking With Memphis

You will recall Melissa’s winning pitch:

Walking With Memphis: Inspired By A Real Dog (Nonfiction Picture Book ages 3-8)

When Memphis becomes paralyzed and loses his wag, he must learn to walk with a wheelchair. He worries his dog days will never be the same, but he digs up the courage to embark on an adventurous discovery of all that he is capable of and what it means to be a lucky dog.

Here are editor Erin Molta’s thoughts:

This sounds like a great story. However, if you’re calling it nonfiction then you can’t have the story from Memphis’s point of view. It needs to be an omniscient narrator. If it is “inspired” by a true story then it can be just a picture book and not nonfiction. Then you can keep it in the dog’s POV. Besides that, I have a slight tweak to suggest

When Memphis becomes paralyzed and loses his wag, he must learn to walk with a wheelchair. He worries his dog days will never be the same, but he digs up the courage to embark on an adventurous journey to discover all that he was capable of and what it meant to be a lucky dog.

June – Susan – Bossy Bird (PB)

Here is Susan’s winning pitch:

Bossy Bird is the largest, loudest and bossiest bird of the bunch.  When the fed up flock ruffles HIS feathers, he leaves the safety of the group.  With danger crouching around the corner, Bossy Bird must find a way to save the birds that sent him away and discovers that being the boss is not as important as being a friend.

And here are Erin’s thoughts:

This is nice! I just have one tweak and that’s to add in that he’s been forced out, rather than he “leaves” the safety of the group because that makes it more clear that they didn’t want him, so him saving them from the creature has more resonance.

 Bossy Bird is the largest, loudest and bossiest bird of the bunch.  Then the fed up flock ruffles HIS feathers and forced him out.  With danger crouching around the corner, Bossy Bird must find a way to save the birds that sent him away and discovers that being the boss is not as important as being a friend.

July – Robyn – Fear On The Mountain (MG)

Here is Robyn’s winning pitch:

What was supposed to be an idyllic birthday of fun and horseback riding becomes a grueling test of survival.
Thirteen-year-old Anna, a diabetic, doesn’t plan on getting lost in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina without her insulin bottle. But that’s what happens, thanks to the carelessness of Claire, her best friend.
When Claire’s horse gets loose they leave the trail to find him. They find themselves lost with nighttime closing in. Wild animals, a storm, and devastating injuries won’t stop Anna from searching for a way down the mountain. Or will they?

And here are Erin’s thoughts:

Sounds like it could be exciting. It might work better if you trim the extra info. and stick to the highlights. Also, no need to end on a question because that doesn’t actually make people want to read to find out the answer—since it’s pretty much a given, anyway.

 Best of luck!

What was supposed to be an idyllic birthday of fun and horseback riding turns into a nightmare.

Thirteen-year-old Anna, a diabetic, ends up lost in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina without her insulin bottle, thanks to the carelessness of Claire, her best friend.

When they must search for Claire’s horse, they find themselves lost with nighttime closing in. Wild animals, a storm, and (be specific about the injury) become a grueling test of survival that Anna and Claire must pass in order to get home.

As always, I find Erin’s perspective so helpful and enlightening, and I hope you all do too!

Wow!  That was A LOT of pitch winning and Straight-From-The-Editoring!  (It’s feast or famine around here in that department!)  I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for Something Chocolate!  (aren’t I always? 🙂 )  How about some fresh, cinnamon-scented cider donuts?  Okay.  Technically not chocolate.  But I found them on a blog called Chocolate Chocolate And More, and it’s fall… and you all know my weakness for cider donuts…  So here are some – warm, cinnamon-sugary, and delicious to dunk into your coffee while you help today’s pitcher with her pitch – and I’ll give you some chocolate hot fudge sauce to go along with them 🙂

cider-donuts

Recipe HERE at ChocolateChocolateAndMore (do not be fooled that the url mentions white chocolate caramel gingerbread cookie cups – which also sound delicious – the url is correct and has the donut recipe!)

Now go ahead!  Dip in hot fudge sauce to your chocolatey little heart’s content! 🙂

Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Patricia whom you may remember from her previous pitch for Bird And The Baker in March.  Patricia is a pre-published author and long-time 12×12 and PiBoIdMo participant. She primarily writes picture books, which she loved reading with her three children when they were young and hopes to read with grandchildren sometime in the future (the first wedding looms!). Patricia lives with her husband, an orange and white Toller pup, and more than 400 high school students at a New England boarding school. She loves travel and gardening.

Find her on twitter @ptntweets, or reviewing Perfect Picture Books at  Wander, Ponder, Write.  

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Grandmother’s Parrots

Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 6-9)

The Pitch: Charlotte isn’t happy about her first solo overnight at Grandmother’s house. Grandmother is so old, and her house is so creepy! But when Charlotte discovers the joys of birdwatching and uncovers a secret from Grandmother’s past, Charlotte wishes she could stay much longer.

Grandmother’s Parrots explores the London Blitz from a child’s perspective and the origin of London’s parrot population.

 

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Patricia improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)

 

Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read It in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above.  There are openings in October, so you have a little time to polish your pitch before putting it up for helpful feedback and have a chance to have it read by editor Erin Molta!

Patricia is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to enjoying the Season Of Cider Donuts (yes, I think it should be capitalized and celebrated as its own Season! 🙂 ) to the fullest possible extent!!!

Have a wonderful cider donut-filled Wednesday everyone!!! 🙂