Would You Read It Wednesday – The 17th Pitch

Isn’t it great when you wake up looking forward to the day?  And I know you all did because it’s Would You Read It day 🙂

Before we get started, let’s select our Something Chocolate snack.  It’s very drizzly and drab here this morning, so I’m thinking some hot chocolate would be mighty nice.  Care to join me?

because this is exactly how hot chocolate is always served at my house 🙂
google images

Ahh!  That’s better!

Now, before we get to today’s pitch, a couple of teensy housekeeping details.

First, a reminder about our new feature which starts Friday – Perfect Picture Books Friday.  For the full description, click here.  This new feature is intended as a resource for all of us – parents, teachers, homeschoolers, writers, and gift-givers.  The posts will showcase a favorite book and include ideas and links on what it’s good for and how to use it at home and/or in the classroom.  (I’m going to try very hard to get my post up early on Friday so that anyone who needs to look at an example of how it’s done can do so – I might even post it late Thursday.)  Not only will this be a great resource, it will also strengthen our community and hopefully encourage people to visit all of our blogs 🙂

Second, don’t forget that next week is the Thanksgiving writing contest!!!  Click here for details.  (Please scroll down – it’s the last item in the post.)  It should be really fun and the winner will get a prize along with all our admiration, so please join in!  You still have time to write your entry (and it’s short!) 🙂

And last but not least, our theme for this week’s Fun Foto, if anyone wants to do it, will be THANKSGIVING.  This will be out last Fun Foto because it didn’t turn out to be as fun as we thought and we’re hoping people will get a lot more out of Perfect Picture Books!

And now, it’s time for Would You Read It!  If you need to refill your hot chocolate, go ahead.  I’ll wait 🙂

Ready?

This week’s pitch comes to us from Halli who hails from rural Alberta, Canada, and whose YA novel Shifters is being released in March 2012 from Imajin Books.

Working Title:  SIMBIOTE
Age/Genre:  YA Sci-Fi
The Pitch:  Kal is a donor in the illegal bulb trade.  He donates his own symbiotic bulbs to the humans on the multi-million dollar black market.  Their addictions can cost them a pretty penny, but what does it cost Kal?  What does he suffer every year at harvest time?  When he gets caught he realizes the risks he has put upon himself, his potential girlfriend and his family are far worse than he ever imagined.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Halli improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  (And please spread the word about Would You Read It to anyone you know who might be interested in pitching.  I have openings in mid-January which isn’t that far away :))

Halli is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  And I am looking forward to your Perfect Picture Book posts on Friday.  (I can’t WAIT to see what you all choose!)  And also to your Thanksgiving contest entries next week 🙂

20 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday – The 17th Pitch

  1. Theresa Milstein says:

    It's interesting, but I'm a bit confused. First I thought actual light bulbs were being traded. Then I figured they were plant bulbs. Then I realized I must be dumb because I don't really know what kind of bulbs there are and why they're being traded.

  2. A2Z Mommy says:

    I need to check out the Thanksgiving contest!
    For the pitch, I'm a maybe. I was also confused about the bulbs, but don't understand the power of a flower bulb to create danger in Kal's life. Also, if Kal is not human, what is he? I like the excitement of the action and future, but am not sure of the whole story line.

  3. Reena Jacobs says:

    Depends. Like the others, I'm curious what you mean by “bulb.” If it's a plant or flashlight, probably not. If it's a part of the body definitely yes.

    The pitch might get me to do a quick search to find out the answer.

    On the other hand, if bulbs were clarified in the pitch and was a body part, I'd definitely head to Goodreads to check out the rating, which is huge, cause I'm only one click away from adding you to my reading list.

  4. halli says:

    thankyou everyone, this was very helpful. I will clarify the bulb – it is a simbiotic plant that grows inside Kal's body. He is an alien. May I post any of your comments on my blog?

  5. clarbojahn says:

    I am a maybe because of the confusion in bulbs. The questions raised are intriguing but also confusing. If the questions were rephrased to reveal the answers in a way that makes for tight reading it may be a better pitch.

    I heard agents don't like questions to spark the desire to read the book. But that's just what I heard.

  6. Jess says:

    I agree with the others~it's intriguing, but kind of leaves me with more questions than excitement. Lots of interesting things hinted at and it sounds like a unique concept!

  7. Gail Shepherd says:

    This has a lot of potential. I'd give this a “no” as in “not quite ready to pitch to an agent,” although I might personally dive in. I'm a sci-fi fan. But if you're trying to get this pitch ready to query, here's my advice (for what it's worth). 1) don't raise unanswered questions in a pitch. 2) If Kal isn't human, what is he? 3) what is a bulb, and why do humans want them? Why is he “donating”? Who catches him? And what does it cost him?
    In other words, I'd go back and really polish this as a pitch for either an agent or to self pub. Even so, I'd probably read the first couple of pages to see if I was hooked.

  8. Empty Nest Insider says:

    I am perhaps the dimmest bulb here. I'm glad you shed a light on the simbiotic plant inside an alien's body. This is still too confusing for me, but best of luck in your efforts! Susanna, I'd like to enter your Thanksgiving contest, but I didn't see the link on the details page. I think this also has something to do with trading in my bulb. Julie

  9. janebuttery says:

    I also wondered who Kal was and his 'bulb'. I think your pitch needs to clarify that he is alien and what hegrows inside him is invaluable to others but risky to sell. Once you rework the pitch, the story will be more intriguing.
    Wishing you well.
    Jane in Ontario

  10. Kim L says:

    I think mentioning that Kal is an alien is really important to this pitch. It strengthens it substantially. I think the premise is very interesting, but the pitch should be tightened some. It gets a little bogged down. But the idea is great and unique.

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