Would You Read It Wednesday – The 21st Pitch

This is some kind of crazy winter we’re having.  We started with 2 feet of snow on October 29th, followed by a return of spring-like weather with a few cold days here and there, and this morning it is 4 degrees.  I am not making that up.  Seriously, go look at my thermometer.

Okay.  I guess you can’t actually see it, but it really says 4!

In my book, that is just too darn cold!  Even Scout, whose preferred location is on the back or side porch

so she can keep a sharp eye on her territory lest any rogue deer should dare to trespass, is inside on the dog couch, curled up snug as a bug in a rug with Jemma.

So what better way to warm up then with a cup of hot chocolate, some fresh donuts, and a pitch for Would You Read It?  Sounds great to me – I’ve missed Would You Read It over the holidays!

Before I give you today’s pitch, I’d like to mention that there are openings available soon for YOUR pitches.  I currently only have about 5 in the queue.  So please send some in so we can keep up this fun series, and please spread the word to all your writerly friends! 🙂

Okay.  Today’s pitch comes to us from the lovely Abby over at Something To Write About.  Some of you may also know her as Leigh Covington (her YA alter-ego.)  She writes a fabulous blog which I highly recommend.  She has a self-proclaimed addiction to chocolate, which is probably how she found Would You Read It in the first place 🙂 and she lives in Utah.  Here is her pitch:

Working Title:  What If?
Age/Genre:  Early Picture Book (ages 2-5)
The Pitch:  Little Lucy has a vivid imagination which shines through all of the “what if” questions she asks about the world around her.  With her creative perspective on things, the world holds limitless possibilities for both her and the reader.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Abby improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  SIDE NOTE:  Remember, Would You Read It is booked only through January, so there are lots of openings ahead.  Please send pitches and spread the word 🙂
Abby is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!
And don’t forget to tune in Friday for Perfect Picture Books and the results of our contest poll (click here to vote if you haven’t yet!)!

98 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday – The 21st Pitch

  1. Andrea says:

    Sorry, but in this form, I'd have to say No. There are some things about this pitch that do pique my interest, including the “what if” questions, and Lucy's “creative perspective” but at the moment it sounds too vague. I'm not even sure if it is fiction or non-fiction. I wonder if there is a way to suggest a big question Lucy is trying to answer or maybe tell us more about her creative approach?

  2. Sarah Barnett says:

    Andrea has a good point about the vagueness of the pitch but I think that, due to the limitless possibilities of Lucy's imagination, it would be a very good book from a visual point of view. With the right illustrations, it would work very, very well.

  3. Penny Klostermann says:

    No. I think What If always works if it is fresh and new…but just What If isn't going to draw me to a book. I need specifics. I need details about Lucy, or the What If, or her creative perspective that would make me want to read this book.

  4. Abby Fowers says:

    Susanna – thanks for the opportunity to be here today. 🙂

    Penny – that is good feedback, and I appreciate your honesty.

    Sarah – You have caught on to the idea behind this book. Perhaps I should be more detailed, but the possibilities from the text reaching to the pictures of this book should be FUN!

    Andrea – good points. That will be some areas that I can work on for this pitch. Thank you.

  5. Janet Johnson says:

    Hi Abby! So I love the concept, but I don't feel like I got a good idea of what will happen in the book based on the pitch. I would love more specifics about the plot.

    And Susanna, wow. 4? That's cold! I've been shivering at 27 where I am. Brrrr . . .

  6. Rewrighter says:

    I agree with the other commentors – right now, this pitch is too vague. There are many other PBs with a similar concept so it's important to be clear how this one stands out.
    And if you think 4 is cold, try -20. It warmed up to -11 yesterday. Brrrr
    a

  7. Jenny Morris says:

    Hey Abby, I have to agree with everyone else. I would like more info on the little girl and maybe just a taste of her what if questions. Although, what if, is my favorite question to ask.

  8. Coleen Patrick says:

    I guess it's just me, but it piqued my interest. Maybe it's because it immediately made me think of my 3 year old nephew who comes up with the most curious, interesting questions.

  9. Abby Fowers says:

    Thanks Coleen! That is definitely the kind of stuff that inspired this book. It has some fun twists on things, but I think I need to expand a little more in the pitch. Thanks for the comment! I'm glad to know it interests you 🙂

  10. Hope Roberson says:

    I would read this for sure! I have a six year old daughter who would love this book! We've read Do Princesses Wear Hiking Boots? by Carmela LaVigne Coyle a thousand times, I would love to have more books spurring a little girl's imagination 🙂

  11. Julie Hedlund says:

    Like many others, I love the idea and can imagine it being a beautiful, boisterous book. However, I want to know what the story is. Or is it simply a book of possibilities?

  12. Cathy says:

    I like the pitch, but it doesn't go quite far enough. Does Lucy arrive at any ultimate meaning about all the possibilities? Or is there a favorite possibility at the end that she wants readers to take away? Picture books always sum up their theme at the end.

  13. Darshana says:

    Maybe. My comments are pretty much the same as the others. You have piqued my interest but the pitch is a bit vague. I need something catchy/tangible to latch onto. Is it a sentimental book is it funny, i think the mood of the book should be reflected in the language for the pitch.

  14. Mark Koopmans says:

    LIKE. I have three children under the age of five and am always looking for ways to spark their imagination. I'm sure Little Lucy would be a hit in our household and I wish Abby all the best in this project.

  15. Stacy S. Jensen says:

    As a rookie mom, I can imagine this story. I'm interested in learning more about Lucy's world. Are her “what if” questions from the back seat of a car driving down the road? around the house? In grandma's garden? Does her creative perspective put her in conflict with anyone? I know pitches have to be short, but I think some (or all) of your last line could be deleted and those words used for another detail. Thanks for sharing it Abby. I know nothing about pitches, but learn something new with each of these posts (Thanks Susanna)

  16. Catherine Johnson says:

    Popping in late to say hello. Agree with everyone, it sounds like a lovely story Abby, it's just a bit vague. There's no hook either. Why do we have to read this. I'd love to see a re-vamped version back on here. *waves*

  17. Donna K. Weaver says:

    Leigh rocks, so I'd for sure read it just because of that.

    However, I think if I didn't know her I'd like to have a little snippet of what her particular “creative perspective” is. Is she into horror? I had monsters in my closet when I was a little girl. Is she into fairies instead? How about interesting creatures like Hagrid would like? Does she see aliens everywhere? Even little children can have a different view of the world, depending upon what they've been exposed to by family and friends. See what I mean?

  18. Abby Fowers says:

    Thanks Julie. Right now it is more a book of possibilities that the child sees in the world, however, a journey could easily be incorporated into the illustrations, for the details are fun and specific in the MS. Thanks for your comment 🙂

  19. Jane Buttery says:

    I felt he pitch was a bit too open. Where are you going with the “what-if's”, Abby?
    What kind of area will Lucy explore?
    Try rewording it please.
    Jane

  20. Angela Brown says:

    “What if” scenarios are always intriguing. Delivered in the perspective of a little one, a toddler, that means there's lots of interesting ways the world can be perceived. That means yes, I would love to read this.

  21. Cally Jackson says:

    The book sounds wonderful and I love the positivity that comes from the pitch, though I do agree with the suggestions about including some more specifics about what Lucy imagines. Sounds like a fun read though! 🙂

  22. Michael Offutt says:

    “The Pitch: Little Lucy has a vivid imagination which shines through all of the “what if” questions she asks about the world around her. With her creative perspective on things, the world holds limitless possibilities for both her and the reader.”

    Okay, here are my thoughts. I love the first sentence, but I think the second sentence adds nothing. Leigh is just saying that Little Lucy has a creative perspective and she already told us that she had a vivid imagination in the prior sentence. In my opinion, this is just restating the same thing. And by virtue of asking “what if”, aren't you also saying that you believe the world is full of limitless possibilities.

    I would completely extricate the second sentence and add a sentence of value. Give us an example…show us the limitless possibilities instead of telling us that possibilities are limitless.

    Other than that, I think the pitch is off to a fantastic start.

  23. Jennifer Rumberger says:

    I agree with many of the other comments. Just need a little more specific info on what “what if” questions Lucy is asking. Sounds like there would be great illustration possibilities!

  24. Jane Buttery says:

    Susanna, I don't know how else to get in contact with you. If you haven't got my pitch for Jan 11h I can put it on this site but could send to you. As i was hacked into, I had to change my yahoo adress. It is jsbuttery@yahoo.ca NO Longer janetruestorybooks. Yahoo cleaned that out when I reported it so I could not email you!
    If you reply to my new email I can resend the pitch.
    Sorry to have to use this spot bu I could not let you know any other way.
    Jane Buttery

  25. Stina Lindenblatt says:

    Our weather is the complete opposite. The kids can't go skating because the snow is melting. I didn't even have to wear a coat today. On New Years Eve it was freezing.

    Yes, I'd read the book. I'm not sure if it's a good pitch because picture book pitches are so different from ones for YA novels. But the book sounds cute!

  26. Tracy Bermeo says:

    I say “yes!” To me, the question of “what if” is right up there with “how about?” and “why not?” which I hear on a daily basis from my own kids. While it's hard to tell from the pitch alone it seems as though this would be a fun story to follow along with and continue well past the pages of the book. For older kids, it could inspire a fun dinner table conversation.
    By the way, it was 9 degrees in NJ this morning and I”m with you, Susanna- way too early to be this cold!

  27. Peggy Eddleman says:

    I love it! I would love it even more, I think, if there were a specific example or two, so I can get more of a feel for her personality. Awesome job!

    And we pretty much have had zero snow. :'(

  28. Beth says:

    I have to say “Maybe”. I love the idea of the book, imagination is one of my favorite aspects of life, but the pitch needs a little more imagination, perhaps an example of Lucy's wild imaginings or their effect on those around her. I admit I'd rather she was referred to simply as “Lucy” or as “five-year-old Lucy” (or whatever age she is) rather than “Little” Lucy. But the concept itself is right up my alley. With some tweaking to the pitch, I'd be ready to read.

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