Would You Read It Wednesday – The 39th Pitch

Big news.

It’s official.

(And you’re probably going to want to sit down for this.)

After all this time I have finally become…

duh duh duh duh….

… a twit.

You heard right.  After all that kicking and screaming I joined the masses.

(For those of you who already thought I was a twit, well, I guess you can’t argue with the evidence :))

I’d like to tell you my handle so you could all come join me in my confused wanderings, but I have no idea what it is.  I’ll let you know as soon as I figure it out.*  I abandoned my twitterings in mid-twit late yesterday afternoon to bake birthday cake (the answer is chocolate – I have exceptionally keen hearing) and then help my birthday girl eat it 🙂 so I have yet to actually make a nest or whatever y’all do in lieu of profiles over there 🙂

So that’s my big news for the day.

When you’ve finished reeling from shock, grab a donut and have a gander at today’s Would You Read It pitch.

By way of introduction to the pitcher…

Beware of the fiery haired writer who calls herself Rena J. Traxel. She lives in the middle of the nowhere in the province of Alberta, creating stories and poems for children. Death of Sleeping Beauty is book one in her fantasy series. Please visit her blog, On The Way To Somewhere, and read an excerpt from her book HERE.

Here is her pitch!

Working Title:  Death Of Sleeping Beauty
Age/Genre:  MG Fantasy
The Pitch:  Alivia Fair stumbles upon a seemingly harmless book that is full of gruesome fairy tales. Now the book is missing and strange things begin to happen. She is cursed by a man with a blue beard and finds herself trapped inside an enchanted castle, in which she comes face-to-face with the legendary, Sleeping Beauty. Too bad Alivia is destined to kill her, but with a little help Alivia might be able to stop the DEATH OF SLEEPING BEAUTY.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Rena improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in August, so you have time to polish 🙂 for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Rena is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!
* And although I don’t know exactly where you’ll find me on twitter, if you’re interested in looking try Susanna Leonard Hill or SusannaLHill.  If I manage to get my birdhouse in order you might find me there later today 🙂  Anyone who wants to share twitter advice for the terminally witless, please feel free 🙂
Oh and P.S. if you haven’t had a chance to vote for your favorite April pitch yet, please go HERE.  You have until the witching hour 🙂
Have a lovely day, everyone 🙂

89 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday – The 39th Pitch

  1. Rena J. Traxel says:

    You are the best! I'm working on my submission package this week then I will turn my attention back to finishing novel 2!

  2. Reena Jacobs says:

    I would definitely read this book. I'm intrigued! 🙂 I do think it could use a little rewording though. The second line seems a little misplaced.

    “Now the book is missing and strange things begin to happen.”

    Is it necessary? Though I imagine it's an important part of the story, it leaves me with questions… If the book is missing what relevance does it have to the story? Should I even care about the book? And “strange things being to happen” is rather telling without telling anything.

    I'm wondering if you could find a way to bridge the 1st and 3rd sentence while eliminating the 2nd.

    Even so, I really like the premises.

  3. Miranda Paul says:

    I'm a total fan of fairy and folk tale spins, etc. so, yes, I would read it. But I will say that I think the pitch needs a bit of work as it reads a bit awkward in places. Good luck, though!

    And Susanna, I'll find you on Twitter soon…

  4. inluvwithwords says:

    Oh, look at you, all brave and trying new things. Good for you! (I'm not there yet.)

    I'm not big on fairy tale twists. But ever since I started watching Once Upon a Time, I'm a little more interested than before.

    I was confused by the last sentence of the pitch where we're told that Alivia is both destined to kill Sleeping Beauty but also may be the one to stop the death of sleeping beauty.

  5. Rena J. Traxel says:

    Thanks! I'm going to have to re-word my pitch just a bit. I haven't seen Once Upon A Time yet, but it does look like a fun show.

  6. Rena J. Traxel says:

    I'm working on my submission package this week so everyone's comments have been helpful. Did you create categories for people you follow on Twitter? It's easier to read tweets when you have people grouped into categories such as one for writers and another for family etc.

  7. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    I haven't gotten that far – I didn't know you could!

    Rena J. Traxel (unregistered) wrote, in response to Susanna Leonard Hill:

    I'm working on my submission package this week so everyone's comments have been helpful. Did you create categories for people you follow on Twitter? It's easier to read tweets when you have people grouped into categories such as one for writers and another for family etc.

    Link to comment

  8. Vicki Tremper says:

    Oh, Susanna, you do make me laugh. I would absolutely read that book. Loved the pitch, loved the concept, can't wait to see it published. And I look forward to eventually maybe someday connecting with you on Twitter.

  9. Rena J. Traxel says:

    Thanks Vicki, I hope to start sending my novel out by the end of the month! I'm now following you on Twitter.

  10. Rena J. Traxel says:

    When you add someone click on the arrow beside the follow button and you will see a option to add/remove the person from a list. Click on it and it will allow you to create a list. I had been on Twitter for almost year when I learned about lists and using lists has made Twitter a bit more manageable.

  11. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    I'll try it, thanks!

    Rena J. Traxel (unregistered) wrote, in response to Susanna Leonard Hill:

    When you add someone click on the arrow beside the follow button and you will see a option to add/remove the person from a list. Click on it and it will allow you to create a list. I had been on Twitter for almost year when I learned about lists and using lists has made Twitter a bit more manageable.

    Link to comment

  12. Julie Rowan-Zoch says:

    Definitely! Rena – You had me with 'in which she comes face-to-face with the legendary, Sleeping Beauty'. Could TOTALLY see it, and her own shock! Don't like the word seemingly, would leave it out altogether; change 'full of' to bursting or chock-full; Say “The book disappears' for more mystery; 'cursed by a blue-bearded man she finds herself trapped in an enchanted castle'; 'With a little help Alivia might be able to stop her own murderous hands and the DEATH OF SLEEPING BEAUTY.'

  13. thefeatherednest says:

    I have yet to enter the world of Faces and Twitters….no rush, I spend way too much time on the computer as it is.
    Happy B'day to your daughter…although….you really don't need an excuse to have cake do you?
    The pitch is perhaps a tad long but I would definitely read the book.

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