Would You Read It Wednesday #61 – Phantom And The Boneyard (ER) and Pitch Pick #13

Boy do we have all kinds of Would You Read It fun for today!  Grab your Something Chocolate and settle in!

First off, we have the September Pitch Pick, and all 4 participants have revised their pitches with an eye to your wonderful comments, so this should be very interesting!

#1 Tina
Melody Wants A Piano (PB)
When Melody returns from Grandma’s with a song in her heart, she wants a piano.  Perhaps street singing, a baseball game, and a talent show will help her raise the funds to share her song with others.

#2 Elizabeth
Buff The Magic Dragon (PB)
Buff the Magic Dragon is afraid of EVERYTHING.  But when his magic trick-gone-wrong lands the baby Princess Ponypants in the tentacles of Captain Meanie Bones Jones, Buff must swallow his fear to save her.

#3 Catherine
Once Upon A Toilet (PB)
Mr. Eubend, a plumber for King Fartsalot and Queen Piddle, was called away to an emergency in a neighbouring kingdom. En-route he finds he is in great demand.

#4 Vivian
Confessions Of The Tomato Turner (PB)
Peter proudly helps his mom in the family vegetable garden, but when he pulls up a baby tomato plant instead of a weed, Peter is torn between telling his mom and hiding the evidence in the compost pile. 

Please vote below for the pitch you think is best and should get a read by editor Erin Molta!  Voting will be open until Friday October 12 11:59 PM EDT.

Many thanks for your vote!  I can’t wait to see how it turns out! 🙂

Next, we have today’s pitch which is fun because it’s an early reader and we don’t get too many of those.  Our pitcher today is Sidney Levesque, who is a former newspaper reporter and editor.  She now works for a university and writes freelance.  She is a wife and the mother of a toddler, and is enjoying dipping her toe into the great ocean of fiction!

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Phantom And The Boneyard
Age/Genre: Early Reader
The Pitch: The Phantom awakens to find himself separated from his squadron and relocated to a military “boneyard” in the Arizona desert with other retired airplanes used for spare parts. But Phantom isn’t ready to retire and starts plotting his escape with the help of new friends before he, too, ends up in permanent storage with his “eyes” wrapped shut.

Sidney also asked to include the opening of her story, which I thought would be very fun to share 🙂 so here it is:

All around him were endless rows of military airplanes he didn’t recognize, planes that looked very old, as if they hadn’t been flown in years.
Some had noses missing. And doors ajar. Wires hanging out like spaghetti.  Tires deflated. Entire planes dismantled into a thousand pieces.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Sidney improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in December, so you have time to polish 🙂 for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Sidney is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  And I would like to take this opportunity to tell you that on Monday we will be having a very special visitor and a giveaway!  So please plan on saving a few Monday moments for an interview with the one and only Natasha Yim and a chance to win her new book, Sacajawea Of The Shosone!!!  (I’m sorry Short & Sweets is getting bumped, but I think you’ll find it’s worth it! :))

63 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #61 – Phantom And The Boneyard (ER) and Pitch Pick #13”

  4. Tina Cho says:
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    Unknown's avatar

    Yes, I'd read this. A unique premise! However, I don't think it would be categorized as an early reader with the more difficult words. You could use “Children's Writer Word Book” for word lists for each grade level as well. I like the pitch except the very last line, which seems a little scary. I think this will make a great BOY book!!

  7. Susanna Leonard Hill says:
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    Unknown's avatar

    Thanks so much for your comments, Larissa! I'm sure Sidney will be pleased 🙂
    Subject: [susannaleonardhillblog] Re: Susanna Leonard Hill: Would You Read It Wednesday #61 – Phantom And The Boneyard (ER) and Pitch Pick #13

  10. Charlie Eve Ryan says:
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    Unknown's avatar

    I'd read it, love the title and opening. I agree too that this is sounds more low MG chapter book than early reader. Early readers tend to have simple words and short sentences. The plot alone feels too complicated too for an early reader.

  11. Sidney Schuhmann Levesque says:
    Reply
    Unknown's avatar

    Thank you, Tina! I will check out “Children's Writer Word Book.” I wondered if the last line was too scary but I thought it might depend on the age level and it reminded me of “Goosebumps,” which is probably middle school level.

  12. Sidney Schuhmann Levesque says:
    Reply
    Unknown's avatar

    Thank you for the feedback! Middle grade seems like a good fit. And I don't want to dumb down the plot so that's probably the direction I will go.

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