Woo-hoo! It’s Wednesday! Time for everybody’s favorite program: Would You Read It!
Let’s grab Something Chocolate, shall we? We haven’t had donuts in a while… 🙂
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| photo copyright Stacy S. Jensen 2012, used by permission |
Now that we’re all happily munching, let me mention The Holiday Contest (for anyone who missed Monday’s post, hop on over, see the rules, and start thinking up your story! :))
And now let’s move on to the November Pitch Pick. All the pitches have been updated to reflect your helpful advice and comments, and I never tire of seeing how much writers seem to get out of this! It’s great to look at the before and after versions!
Here they are. Choose your favorite and vote for it in the poll below by, oh, let’s say Friday Dec. 7 at 11:50PM EST. The winner’s pitch will be sent to editor Erin Molta for a read and comments!
#1 Heather
Banshee Birthday – PB – ages 4-8
Ailbe the Banshee’s birthday wish is to have the village girls over for an all night celebration full of moonlight, cake and nocturnal animals to visit. She just has to wait and see if any girls will be brave enough to ignore the old myth that Banshee bring bad luck. If they are, Ailbe might be lucky enough to make some new friends.
#2 Kim
How The Bull Lost His Feathers – PB – ages 4-8
Long, long ago in a faraway land, bulls actually had feathers. And they were big, colorful peacock-like feathers at that! Discover how one very stubborn yet lovable bull lost every one of his feathers– not only for himself, but for all the bulls born in the world after him. This fable-like tale also reveals why the color red will always make a bull’s temper flare!
#3 Larissa
Dim Sum Dog – PB – ages 4-8
With business dwindling, Chang and his family fear they will have to close their dim sum stand. But with the help of a special dim sum-loving dog who entertains customers, they may save the stand after all.
#4 Katie
A Colorful Surprise – PB – ages 3-7
On the long car ride to Grandma’s, Evan tries to keep himself busy. But after watching a movie, playing some games, and reading three books, Evan is completely bored. His family has run out of fun ideas too when they discover a sky filled with hot air balloons in bright colors and unique shapes. Suddenly, Evan’s mind is full of images that will keep him dreaming long after this trip is over.
Which is your favorite?
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: Eddie Brick Visits The Aunts
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: Ellie and Effie Brick do everything together, but when their grandnephew Eddie arrives the security of their routine is altered. Eddie helps them see they already enjoy doing things differently, together.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
Julie is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! And I am looking forward to seconds on those donuts 🙂
Thanks so much for your helpful thoughts for Julie, Penny! And I don't know if Stacy made those donuts, but she at least photographed them (they wouldn't have lasted long enough for a photo op at my house :)) and they sure look good! 🙂
OOH! Great choice with the donuts! I had some tonight and they were yummy!!! We must be thinking alike— again! And I voted, even though they were all great! It was hard to choose. Good luck everyone!
Julie, I would read anything of yours, and I would love to see your illustrations. Most of the things I would suggest have already been mentioned. I agree about the names being confusing, needing a pinch more detail on their “normal,” and making the language more kid friendly. However, I'm on the fence about needing the focus to be on Eddie. I know having a child mc is a popular suggestion to give. Still, I see Ellie and Effie as being child-like characters. I imagine their eccentricities would make them very interesting. Perhaps their quirks lower their maturity level?
It's interesting that you bring this up, Hannah. If you look at the literature, there are clearly books that star childlike adult MCs like Mrs. Armitedge, and even some not so childlike like Mr. Putter And Tabby, and they are popular, appealing, and do well. And yet I wrote an early reader series with a childlike adult character which my agent loved, and we couldn't sell it – got comment after comment from editor after editor that adult MCs don't work. So I'm on the fence about that. I'm sure I would like it personally, but I know from experience it would be a harder sell… Thanks so much for your comments for Julie 🙂
Glad you enjoyed the donuts, and thanks so much for voting, Leigh! 🙂
Good to know. I think it's sad when rules/guidelines start trumping a good storyline.
I agree. It's not to say you can't write an adult MC, but I think it is harder to sell…
Hannah Holt (unregistered) wrote, in response to Susanna Leonard Hill:
Good to know. I think it's sad when rules/guidelines start trumping a good storyline.
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IP address: 71.237.234.150
I'm reading through the comments, and don't have much to add, Julie. I can say I've read the full MS, and loved it!
Well that's good to know, Kirsten! After all, in the end it's the story that matter most – more than the pitch 🙂
Fortunately I just pigged out on candy cane flavored popcorn, so I can read beyond the picture of donuts. 😀
I can't wait to see who wins. *crosses fingers that it's my favorite*
As for today's pitch. I would like to see a little more detail. And for some reason the second sentence doesn't flow well for me. Or maybe because there's no suspense. But I don't write PBs, so definitely ignore me.
I'm thinking I may just leave the names of the Aunts out of the pitch! Thanks so much for your time and comment Pat!
Got that nickname from some famous art critic's wife – about 100 yrs ago!
Thanks Stacy – the three are in every scene, but to avoid confusion, I think I'll leave the aunt's names out of the pitch!
Too many names for a pitch – esp. if they rhyme! Thanks Erik!
Thanks for 'rambling', Penny – all very helpful. I like hearing what you think the story may include!
You're right on the mark Hannah! (Must be a sharp-shooter from CO! – lol!) Eddie becomes the 'adult'! Thanks for taking the time – I really appreciate it!
Thanks for your support Kirsten! And I need to see how the pitch comes across, so all these comments are very valuable to me!
Every comment is a good one – it's another opinion, right?! So, thank you Stina, for taking the time!
The donuts are DELICIOUS…thanks, Stacy!
And the pitch pick was hard to pick…but I did. 🙂
And Julie, I love your story idea…I think some of the comments will be helpful to you so I won't add any constructive ones. I actually had three great aunts…visiting them was both something I looked forward to and dreaded…and have a pb draft about them…so I can really see the realism in this. 😉 I would definitely read it!
Susanna…I gave you a blog award: http://viviankirkfield.wordpress.com/2012/12/06/parenting-blog-award-the-positive-parental-participation-blog-award/
You are so funny, Stina 🙂 We will not ignore you… how can we? Uh, wait, that didn't sound right… Well anyway just because you don't write picture books doesn't mean you can't say if a pitch grabs you or not. Now, let's address the real issue: candy cane flavored popcorn? Really? Is it pink?
Glad you enjoyed the donuts, Vivian 🙂 and thanks for your thoughts for Julie. And extra special thanks for the blog award – I just revised tomorrow's post to mention it 🙂
Would love to read yours Vivian! I never even knew my grandmothers! Thanks for taking the time to comment!