Would You Read It Wednesday #78 – Oakley’s Keys (PB) AND The Prize For The In Just Spring Contest!

If this post actually goes up in time it will be pretty much of a miracle.  I have reached new heights of doltdom!  Which I will tell you about… just don’t let me forget to tell you the awesome fantastic In Just Spring Contest Prize News afterwards!

My husband’s car needs brake work, so since it’s on warranty we had to take it to the dealership.  After work.  “I’ll drive from the train station,” says he, “and you meet me and follow.”

Fine.  Except I got behind The. Slowest. Car.  On. Earth! coming down our mountain to the train station, so he got ahead.  “I’ll pull over after the covered bridge,” says he, “and you’ll catch up.”

Fine.  Except I went through the covered bridge, looked on both sides of the road, no husband.  But there’s a little parking area there, so I pulled over and called him, thinking maybe somehow he was behind me.

“No!” says he.  “I’m up ahead on the hill.  Past the light.”  Well. that’s not exactly right after the covered bridge but…

Fine.  I take my foot off the brake.  Princess Blue Kitty rolls forward willingly.  I look to the left. and right to pull out and suddenly, out of nowhere, GRINDCRUNCHGROWLGROANSCREECH!  WHAT THE ???  Princess Blue Kitty can move neither forward nor backward.  Her engine groans.  Her poor little body shudders.  “OMG!  I’ve wrecked my car!” I shriek and shut off the engine, disengaging the blue tooth and effectively hanging up on my husband.

Yeah.  So what happened?  There was a GIANT rock, which had rolled from somewhere nearby where it was meant to be decorative, down into the little gully between the parking area and the road.  Too low to see (also it blended in with the gravel in the darkness) and too low even to hit with my bumper, it was positioned in just such a way that my front passenger side tire somehow rolled up on it like a ramp then slid off, leaving poor Princess Blue Kitty stranded in the air, her front right side completely off the ground.  Impaled, as it were, on a rock!  Oh the agony!  And the indignity!  And can I just remind us all that it was in a place where no rock that size should have been!

A rumbly diesel engine dually, a hydraulic jack, a lot of chain and a hook, some cardboard to crawl under the car on, several blocks of wood, a flashlight, a tire iron, a very nice guy form New Zealand, and a genius named Loren later, we managed to coax Blue Kitty down off her rock.

Needless to say, we didn’t get home until very late.  But luckily the princess does not seem to have sustained any mortal damage.  Although I believe there is a danger of internal injury, so I will probably take her to her dealership later just in case.  If it stops sleeting.

Anyway.  To make a short story even longer, PHEW!  What an evening.  Which leads me to the fact that it was some ridiculous hour and I hadn’t started writing this post.  Or loading today’s lesson for my course into the email template.  Hence the miracle!

Chocolate anyone?  I think we seriously need it after that harrowing adventure!  Here.  I’ll put some fruit on it so you breakfast purists can feel okay about it 🙂

Now, would you stop telling me ridiculous stories about your inability to drive so we can get down to Would You Read It?! 🙂

Today’s pitch comes to us from Yvonne.  Yvonee says, “I have a background in early childhood and the visual arts and am a mother of boys, from baby to teen, and one in between.  I write picture books mainly but I also write short stories and non fiction articles for older children. So far I am only active on twitter
I am trying to work up the courage to post something on my Tumblr blog, maybe this will be the push I  need.
Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Oakley’s Keys
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 3-6)
The Pitch:  Intruder Alert!
Oakley hides away with his parent’s car keys. He’ll do anything to get the attention away from his drooling baby brother Dan. But wherever Oakley hides, Dan finds him, from loop-the-looping around a star to playing tag with tigers. And when creepy creatures crawl out of a pirate treasure chest, it is up to Oakley to use his brotherly love to save Dan, drool not included.
So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Yvonne improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in April so we could really use some new pitches!  It’s your chance to be read by editor Erin Molta!

Yvonne is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to making sure Princess Blue Kitty hasn’t sustained any lasting injury.  I am not looking forward to how many times over the rest of my life I’m going to hear, “Remember the time you got your car stuck on that rock?” 🙂

Have a great day, everyone!

OH!  See?  I told you not to let me forget!

I have fantastic news.  Seriously.  Fantastic!

Remember that contest I told you about on Monday?  The In Just Spring Writing Contest?  Remember how I said I was still working on the prize but was hoping for something knock-your-socks-off amazing?

Well hang onto your socks!!!

The winner of the In Just Spring Contest will receive the opportunity to send a picture book manuscript to none other than Laura Galvin, Editor at Kidsbooks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  That’s right, my friends!  You’ll have the chance to put a manuscript you wrote on an actual real live editor’s desk at an actual publishing house and be guaranteed that she will read it and offer constructive feedback!  And who knows… she might love it…! 🙂

Personally, I really cannot think of a more awesome prize.  I hope you agree.  But on the off chance that the winner is someone who doesn’t write picture books, or who for some reason doesn’t want this chance, I will think of a fun back up (probably a writing craft book and/or an Amazon gift card) to give them, and the chance to be read by Laura will go to the highest placed writer who wants it.

How’s that for a great way to start your Wednesday?! 🙂  So put on those thinking caps.  Warm up those pencils.  It’s time to write an amazing Spring Story so you can submit a manuscript to Laura Galvin!  (And many many thanks to Laura for so generously agreeing to do this! :))

Now, for real, have a great day 🙂

79 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #78 – Oakley’s Keys (PB) AND The Prize For The In Just Spring Contest!

  1. Yvonne Cynthia Mes says:

    Heloooo Teresa, fancy meeting you here! Thanks for your detailed feedback. Of course the story had to be inspired by having two boys in 2.6 years 😉 I keep forgetting you Americans are right in the middle of winter! It is so lovely and warm here 🙂

  2. Ruth Schiffmann says:

    Wow, Susanna, what an ordeal. I know it must have been trying to go through, but you are such a great storyteller that you made it quite exciting to read about here 😉 I am glad it all worked out in the end, with not apparent damage to Blue Kitty.
    I'm a no on the pitch as it reads now, mostly because I found it confusing. Plus kids and car keys is a scary combination. The story may well be lots of fun, but that could be made clearer in the pitch IMO.

  3. Denise Maclennan Bruce says:

    I say definitely yes 🙂 … One thing that caught me … car keys are mentioned but nothing more about them. Perhaps you can have it without mentioning them. I like what Julie wrote 🙂

    poor you, Susanna! what a day!!

    love the prize!! wow!! Thank you tenfold! Yummy cake 😉

  4. Stacy S. Jensen says:

    I'm really late, but like Julie R-Z's suggestion Yvonne. It looks like a fun story with room for lots of laughs about hiding things. Sorry to hear about the rock. However, I did enjoy reading your story. You are a great storyteller. Truth is stranger (and often more fun) than fiction. Well, not if you live it, but you know what I mean.

  5. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Thanks so much for your comments for Yvonne – always helpful! Glad you enjoyed the story of my misfortune 🙂 Really, truth IS strange sometimes! I seriously don't think I could have gotten my car on that rock if I'd tried, or wanted to, but just a bizarre confluence of events and whammo! Ah well. At least I know everyone in my house will be telling this story for eternity 🙂

  6. Sharron says:

    Hmmm. Strange. I left the first message on this entry, but I don't see it. Well, just wanted to say, I like the idea of the book. The first two lines need a little help, but I liked the rest.

    And, Susanna, the contest prize is awesome!

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