Would You Read It Wednesday #89 – Bonjour Remy! (PB)

Happy Wednesday, Everyone!

First I just have to show you who appeared under the tree in the horse pasture.

Isn’t that just the sweetest little cutie-pie?  First one of the year, and thankfully the dogs were nowhere around.  Time for collars and leashes until these little ones are better able to fend for themselves! 🙂

Next I will entertain you with the fact that I’ve entered into a brave new world.  With my track record it will probably only last about 14 seconds, but I’ll pass it along to you in case anyone is interested and has more self-dicipline than I do 🙂

You know how we all have so much to do these days and it can feel a bit overwhelming?  And how we seem to find ourselves often working through the weekends even though that’s supposed to be family time?

Well, Katie Davis happened to mention a (relatively) new system called Simpleology.  I read about it and thought it sounded interesting… and tempting… and then Pat Miller said she was trying it.  So I thought, what the hey?  I’ll try it too.

If you’d like to find out about it, go HERE.  It claims it will organize you and make you more productive.  I don’t know if there’s any realistic hope for me, but many of you might benefit.  (On the other hand, many of you might not even need it because you’re already organized! :))  And it’s FREE.  (At least the basic level is… :))

It’s going to require some discipline: no turning on the computer in the morning and reading intriguing-looking blog posts or checking email or Face Book.  No sirree Bob!  Straight to Morning Brainstorming!  But, since it’s free, I’m willing to give it a try for 14 seconds and see if I like it.  Check with me on Friday and see if I’ve thrown it over yet 🙂

Now.  I don’t know about you, but where I am, it’s breakfast time and that means…

…health food!  YUM! 🙂

In case you are somehow not familiar with my line of reasoning, let me explain: chocolate chip cookies are comprised of crucial nutritional elements: dairy, protein, and vegetables (I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that chocolate comes from a bean! :))

Ah, that’s better.  I’m sure you’re feeling much stronger now.  Breakfast, after all, is the most important meal of the day!

Ready for Would You Read It?

Today’s pitch comes to us from Kimberly.  Kimberly says, “I’m a 23-year-old student at the University of North Texas who is just now starting to really explore the world of publishing. I’m discovering a fantastic group of well connected children’s authors and trying to learn all that I can from their experience.”

Working Title: Bonjour Remy!
Age/Genre: Picture Book (age 6-8)
The Pitch: Six-year-old Remy loves adventure—just so long as it never leaves the garden. So she hesitates when her parents surprise her with a trip to Paris. How can she leave all of her favorite things? It might take some convincing, but if Remy will leap into the new and wonderful Parisian culture she might just learn that beauty and her favorite things can be found in many places. They just might have different names.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Kimberly improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in July so polish up those pitches for your chance to be read by editor Erin Molta!

Kimberly is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to seeing if Simpleology can help me be more organized and productive.  Really, if it can work for me, it can work for anyone!  I’m full of optimism 🙂

Have a great day, everyone! 🙂

81 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #89 – Bonjour Remy! (PB)

  1. Kimberly says:

    Thanks for the thoughtful input C! It's so encouraging to hear that you would enjoy using this in the classroom!

  2. cmath45 says:

    Kimberly, You could write another book about Remy's Garden Adventures which lead up to this story. Then other books on other places she now enjoys with her family and expose some other fears she conquers on her travels…. bed wetting, getting lost, taking public transportation, etc. You have my mind going in so many different directions and I haven't even read the book. I'm your first customer and want a signed copy.

  3. cmath45 says:

    My first thoughts of “garden” was one of a beautiful backyard where Remy feels safe and has lots of adventures in her mind or in with her own toys.

  4. cmath45 says:

    I also meant to add that stating Remy's age is important for several reasons: 6 yr. olds have to overcome many fears one being separation from “their world” and another would be to let readers know you can begin learning a new language at an early age.

  5. Pamela Courtney says:

    I love a heroine who's up for adventure. It's a Yes, I'd read it from me. I think maybe Remy worries more than she hesitates (since the decision to go isn't left up to her). I'd also like to suggest (for what it's worth) that since adventure is what holds her to her garden, adventure (instead of using the word beauty) and her favorite thing are found in different places just with different names. I'm pretty psyched about turning kids on to different languages in a pb. Much success with this, Kimberly.

  6. Pamela Courtney says:

    By the way, double smiles for sharing that adorable fawn Susanna! Please update us on your progress with the Simpleology activity. And oh my goodness, that cookie has the biggest chip in it! Mouth watering. I think I may have even shed a tear. So yummy!

  7. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Thanks for all your helpful thoughts for Kimberly “C” – and I think editors will assume an age for a PB submission and when it's an actual book it will be clear from the illustrations what her approximate age is.

    Settings

  8. Joanna Marple says:

    That fawn is one of the cutest photos I've seen all year. I would read the story, but feel it could be shortened. i think you could leave out the following sentences: How can she leave all of her favorite things? and They just might have different names. Love the title.

  9. Kimberly says:

    Thanks Joanna. I'm so glad to have gotten all this helpful advice. I'm definitely looking forward to reworking the pitch now!

  10. Kimberly says:

    Thanks Pamela! I'm passionate about turning kids on to languages too! 🙂 (and worries is a perfect replacement for hesitates! Thank you!)

  11. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    it sure is

    Susanna Leonard HillChildren's AuthorWebsiteBlogFace Book PageTwitter

    Subject: Re: New comment posted on Susanna Leonard Hill: Would You Read It Wednesday #89 – Bonjour Remy! (PB)

  12. Stacy S. Jensen says:

    Yes. Cute story idea. Is Remy a rabbit/animal? I don't know why the garden makes me think she's an animal and not a girl. (I'm likely the only one with this idea, but I was also trying to read the blog post and have the simpleology video in the background. … Still haven't figure out a way to leap back into PPBFs as I'm revising a manuscript request, beginning a summer school class and well, it's supposed to be summer. 🙂 I don't know how everyone “does it all.” I guess simpleology may tell me they don't. hee hee). I can do without the last line. Does a six-year-old have a choice on whether to go or not “hesitates”? Good luck and thanks for sharing this. (Totally thought you had a pix of Bambi.)

  13. Julie Rowan-Zoch says:

    What a sweet surprise under the tree! Thank you for sharing that! The only surprises I get in my grass are from neighborhood pets! I would read it, and I love the opening hook. I want to know a little about why she is afraid to leave her surroundings in the first place. As the pitch stands, I would tighten that long 4th sentence: It might take some convincing, but if Remy will take a leap she might learn that favorite things can be found in many places.

  14. Hannah Holt says:

    Awww. That fawn is adorable. What a sweetie pie. Also, I'm not sure why but your blog always makes me hungry. 😉

    Kimberly, your story sounds like a wonderful life transition story. The others suggestions have provided great suggestions for tightening it up a bit. Also from the first word I was thinking about the movie Ratatouille. I know your story isn't anything like Ratatouille, but to have a main character named the same as recent Disney movie and overcoming fears and Paris is a little too much overlap. Remy is a great name, but for this reason I recommend renaming your main character.

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