Would You Read It Wednesday #91 – The Backpack Secret (PB)

You will not believe this, but I almost missed the fact that Friday is National Donut Day!

I know!

Quel horreur!

Thank goodness I found out in time to celebrate!  (Where would I be without the helpful Dunkin’ Donuts commercials on my car radio?)

In honor of the fact that Friday is National Donut Day (but today is our Something Chocolate day) let’s have some delectable Boston Creme Chocolate donuts this morning.  As a kind of a warm-up for Friday 🙂

Yummyummyum!!!  ‘Sheverymnone mreadymmfor mwouldmyoureadit numnum?

Sorry!  I know it’s rude to talk with your mouth full but I couldn’t help myself 🙂  Is everyone ready for Would You Read It?

Today’s pitch comes to us from Andrea, who was actually our very first pitcher for Would You Read It way back on July 27, 2011 with a MG pitch for Wild (Girl) Genius!  Isn’t that amazing?  When she’s not working on her middle grade novels, Andrea is inescapably drawn to writing picture books, possibly because of all the wonderful ideas and questions she hears in her job as a Kindergarten teacher. She has written many stories and articles for educational publishers and blogs about writing over at That’s Another Story (www.andrea-mack.blogspot.com) and with her writing group the MiG Writers (www.migwriters.com). She recently joined Twitter (@ AndreaL_Mack) and would love to connect with other writers.

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: The Backpack Secret
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-7)
The Pitch: When Amani starts school and notices that one of her classmates won’t take off his backpack, she’s determined to find out why. After she finally convinces Mason to open up, Amani has an idea that will help the entire class feel better about coming to school.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Andrea improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in July so we’re about ready for some new pitches!  Send yours in for great feedback from your peers and your chance to be read by editor Erin Molta!

Andrea is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to another donut… or two 🙂

Ooh!!!  And I’m looking forward to something else too!  I am running a writing contest the first week of July (details and official announcement coming next week!) and boy oh boy is there a good prize for the winner!!!  I’m looking forward to sharing all the details with you! 🙂

Have a wonderful Wednesday! 🙂

76 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #91 – The Backpack Secret (PB)

  1. Iza Trapani says:

    Haha! I love when you talk with your mouth full!
    Yes, I am totally intrigued to read the story. Just WHAT is in that pack? I do agree that the mention of school not being enjoyable could be clarified . Otherwise, a great pitch- nice and succinct and hooks the reader.

  2. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    First of all, I'll take several of those luscious Boston Creme donuts…hurray for chocolate!!!

    On to the picture book stuff.:) Yes, I would definitely read The Backpack Secret (love the title!). Andrea, you really have me wanting to find out what is going to happen.

    I love the first sentence of the pitch. Not sure about the second…is this a class that is especially hesitant to come to school. Maybe: After persuading Mason to reveal his secret, Amani has an idea that will help the entire class. But either way, it is a GREAT pitch and an intriguing story idea.

  3. Sharron says:

    Whoo hooo! Those look scrumptious. I'm going out first thing tomorrow morning and buy me some!

    I love the first line of the pitch. The mystery intrigues me. Now, how about … Convincing Mason to open up isn't the only problem. There's her class….

    Best of luck!

  4. Andrea says:

    Wow! I'm overwhelmed by the kindness and thoughtfulness of everyone! Thank you so much for your feedback and suggestions!!! This is going to be so helpful for my revisions – not just for the pitch but for the story too.

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