Would You Read It Wednesday #96 – The Curse Of The Shattered Sceptre (MG) PLUS The June Pitch Pick

So.

Is it as hot in your neck of the woods as it is in mine?

I’m feeling a kinship with the Wicked Witch of the West.  I’m melting…. Melting!  Aaahhhrrr….!

When it’s 80 degrees at breakfast, it’s time to skip over oatmeal and go straight for the freezer.  Let’s have profiteroles this morning, shall we?

It’s for our own good.

Really.

To cool us off 🙂

YUM! 🙂

Ah, that’s better isn’t it?  I think we’re ready to have a look at the June Pitch Pick.

#1 Andrea
The Backpack Secret (PB)

On the first day of kindergarten, Amani notices that Mason won’t take off his backpack. She’s determined to find out why, especially when the other kids start calling him names. After she finally convinces Mason to share his secret, it gives her an idea that will help everyone in the class feel braver at school.

#2 Heather
Tristan The Neighbor Cat (originally titled The Cat Who Lived In The Flowerpot) (PB)
Tristan the cat who lives in the flowerpot between apartments 7 and 8.  He loves his human neighbors and they love him.  There is just one problem.  NO PETS ALLOWED!  One day the strict landlady swings by for a surprise visit and Tristan finds himself in danger of losing his flowerpot home and the neighbors he loves.  

#3 Elaine
The Chase (PB)
A bored little boy stares at the moon, moaning about being bored while missing the stunning excitement that’s unfolding around him – pirate cows, zombie ice skaters, mummy librarians… If only he’d look down instead of UP. THE CHASE is a humorous picture book that explores the common childhood experience of what appears like the moon is following them, and turns it on its head.

#4 Alicia
Granola Bars For Dinner (PB)
Quentin is a kid who loves granola bars and wishes he could eat them all the time, even for dinner! But when Quentin discovers he is tired of all the regular granola bars at the store, he decides there is just one thing to do: make a new kind of granola bar. A kid-friendly recipe (for pizza granola bars) will be included.

Which pitch do you think deserves a read by editor Erin Molta?  Please vote for your favorite below by Friday July 19 at 11:59PM EDT.

Now then, onto today’s Would You Read It!

Today’s pitch comes to us from Rachel, who says “I’m an early childhood teacher and mother of two daughters.  I love reading, scrapbooking and writing children’s picture books and have recently had a go at writing a junior fiction chapter book.  My blog address is http://rachelsbooknook.wordpress.com

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: The Curse Of The Shattered Sceptre
Age/Genre: Junior Fiction/Chapter Book (ages 7-10)
The Pitch: Oliver Bartholomew, bookworm extraordinaire, has never been more excited in his life.  Is it possible that an ancient book of riddles and spells just called his name?  This could be his lucky day!  Or not…  After accidentally unleashing a torrent of curses, Ollie and his friends must work together, using their wits and imagination to unravel the twisted clues and locate twelve shards of coloured glass, thereby mending the book’s shattered sceptre. With a little help from a zany magician, a snappy fortune teller and a gruff groundskeeper, Ollie and his Book Club buddies find themselves embarking on a magical journey that they will never forget.   

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Rachel improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in August so we’re about ready for some new pitches!  Send yours for your chance to be read by editor Erin Molta!

Rachel is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to finding somewhere like this to hang out 🙂

Have a wonderful Wednesday, my friends!! 🙂

OH!  P.S.  Remember that blog hop I participated in last Wednesday?  Wherein I answered personal questions?  I had to tag 3 other writers and Stacy’s is up today HERE.  Please go visit her! 🙂

71 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #96 – The Curse Of The Shattered Sceptre (MG) PLUS The June Pitch Pick

  1. Rachel says:

    Thanks Rosi. I'm hoping my story will encourage boys to read as all the characters in the story are boys and they all love books.

  2. Rachel says:

    Thanks Joanne for your helpful suggestions. You've given me a lot to think about as I definitely don't want the story to be predictable. Now to include the “what” without writing too much and giving away the end of the story!

  3. Rachel says:

    Thanks for commenting Wendy. Yes, I didn't even think about writing about the stakes. Just jotting down a few ideas now…

  4. Rachel says:

    Yes it's going to be tricky – what to leave, what to cut out, what to add. Thanks for your comment Delores.

  5. Rachel says:

    Yes, I need to work on a sentence to mention why Ollie and his friends must mend the shattered sceptre – but without giving too much away!! Thanks for that Andrea.

  6. Rachel says:

    Thanks for your lovely comments Heather. A few people have mentioned starting with “After accidentally unleashing..” and I do like the sound of that. Will have to do some deleting and rearranging!

  7. Rachel says:

    Thank you everyone for your very thoughtful and helpful comments. I have jotted down lots of notes so I can delete, add and rearrange sentences to improve my pitch. It's so tricky to say all the important bits in just a few sentences without giving too much away!!

    Have a great day,
    Rachel

  8. Rachel says:

    A huge thank you to Susanna too for giving me the opportunity to be part of Would you Read it Wednesday. I'll have to scrub up another pitch and send it in later in the year – if you're allowed to do more than one!?

  9. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    You're very welcome, Rachel! Thank YOU for bravely putting your pitch out there for everyone to enjoy and learn from. It's nice that the general consensus was that we all wanted to read your book 🙂 And yes, of course you may send in more pitches. I don't like to put anyone twice in the same month because then they compete against themselves in the pitch pick, but other than that it's first come first served 🙂

  10. coleen patrick says:

    Yes–most intrigued by the very last line of the pitch!
    It's icky hot here too, Susanna. I started a walk, but got halfway down the street and turned around. I probably wouldn't even have left the house, had I had any profiteroles in my kitchen.:)

  11. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Thanks for your opinion for Rachel, Coleen. And I know. The heat is something else. i feel terribly guilty. The rest of my family is outdoors in the heat putting the finishing touches on a horse show my husband organizes and the kids work at that runs this weekend, and I am also working – on critiques – but in my airconditioned house 🙂

  12. Patriia Tilton says:

    I definitely would read it. Love that it is a chapter book and she has more room to tell the story. The pitch is good, but like the other of commented, it needs to be much tighteter, Eliminate the ecess. Good concept for a book.

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