Would You Read It #133 – Orville Wright’s Final Flight (NF PB) PLUS The April Pitch Pick

Golly! What a busy day!

By the time you read this (unless you’re a serious early bird or in Europe or something) I will be on my way to a school visit – the first of a two-day pair – so please forgive me if I’m a little behind in responding to you all today.  It’s Books Journey time again, so I’ll be off teaching writing workshops to 4th graders.  Luckily, since it’s Wednesday, I’ll be fortified with Something Chocolate!

And just LOOK at this gorgeous Something Chocolate!

http://www.jasonandshawnda.com/foodiebride/archives/13464/

Is it cake?  Is it pie?  Who knows?  Who cares?!  It looks so incredibly delicious it won’t be around long enough to debate 🙂  (And Julie, I hope you notice that I put raspberries there just for you since you’re a little more delicate than the rest of us about chocolate before 9 AM :))

Now that everyone except Julie is in a chocolate coma, it’s time for the April Pitch Pick!  Please read the following pitches, most of which have been revised based on your excellent feedback, and vote for the one you think most deserves a read and comments from editor Erin Molta.

#1 Frances – Peter and Asbury – Picture Book (ages 4-8) 
Peter is a shy, socially awkward six-year old boy whose best friend just happens to be an ancient oak tree he calls Asbury.  When Peter learns that Asbury will be cut down, he comes up with a plan to keep the memory of Asbury alive forever.  The unlikely bond that develops between boy and tree helps Peter discover a very special talent that he and Asbury will one day share with the whole world.  

#2 Morgan – Sammy Dougie Foxtrot: Look, Smile, Roar – Picture Book (ages 4-8)
Courage does not come easy to Sammy D. Foxtrot who must overcome his playground fears of dirt, race chairs, and insects! His playground adventure goes awry after his stuffed lion, PJ, gets stuck in a tree. With a Look, Smile, & Roar, Sammy D. Foxtrot discovers the true meaning of courage: that one can feel scared and brave at the same time. Will bravery prevail or will he leave his friend hanging?

#3 Charlotte – Roy G. Biv And The Amazing Castle Moat – Picture Book (ages 5-8)

When a sudden summer rainstorm spares their sand fortress, Sam and Sophie discover a swirl of colors and a surprise visitor, Roy G. Biv, in the castle moat. Sam thinks the arrival of the visitor, who speaks in rhyme, must be a trick. Sophie is delighted by it all. The siblings discover that the magic of Roy G. Biv is actually quite real.

#4 Sean – Todd’s Top Secret Dance Moves – Picture Book (ages 6-8)
His moves are smoother than a buttery bowling ball sliding over a field of silk tuxedos. And Todd is ready to reveal them all: the Fuzzy Banana, the Lunch Lady, the Frosty Snowman, and many more. Follow the footsteps of a dynamite dancer and try to resist tapping your feet. If you want to dance like Todd, the first secret is… 

#5 Janet – You’re A Pest, Betsy Thumbslurp (Early Chapter Book)

Betsy’s arrival turns poor Coco’s comfy world of cuddles and cake (all shapes, all sizes but preferably pink!) upside down. Her thumb sucking, pampered baby sister mixes up the familiar flavours of family life. Is  Coco really no longer the apple of her parents’ eyes and will she feel rotten when she serves up some just desserts?

Please vote for your favorite by Sunday May 18 at 9 PM EDT.  Many thanks! 🙂


Today’s pitch comes to us from Todd.  Todd is a 22 year veteran teacher/librarian/technology specialist who works teaches Kindergarten to fourth grade in Winnetka, IL.  Being a lover of children’s literature, he’s finally jumped into the literary world.  He is passionate about bringing history to life for children.

Here is his pitch:

Working Title: Orville Wright’s Final Flight
Age/Genre: Nonfiction Picture Book (ages 7-12)
The Pitch: When man’s first flight is mentioned, most of us can conjure up an image of that fragile craft lifting from the sands of Kitty Hawk.  Very few of us, however, know much about Orville Wright’s final flight.  That flight came at a pivotal point in World War II when the airplane had become the backbone of the United States military.  It must have been bittersweet for Orville to see he and Wilbur’s creation being used to cause such destruction.  That makes his final flight all the more meaningful.  The C-69 Constellation would move troops to the front and would help end the war.  It would also become the workhorse of the civilian aviation industry.  He must have been amazed at how far aviation had come in just over forty short years.  Orville didn’t know it at the time, but this would be his final flight.  

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Todd improve his pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Todd is looking forward to your thoughts on his pitch!  I am looking forward to all those eager 4th graders!

Have a wonderful Wednesday, everyone!!! 🙂

75 thoughts on “Would You Read It #133 – Orville Wright’s Final Flight (NF PB) PLUS The April Pitch Pick

  1. Julia W. says:

    I was going to add my two cents, but there is plenty of good advice already here, so here's one cent: Shorten up. Find the hook and get it front and center. Was Orville unhappy that the airplane was the backbone of war machinery? If so, that might be a good beginning.

    t's a great topic, and will attract many readers.

  2. Suzy says:

    Your book, Orville Wright's Last Flight, piques my interest. Yes, I would read your book and I know kids, ages 7~12, will, too. I am a little late to the conversation and perhaps a *little new,* to rate your pitch, as I continue to learn and grow, while my writing aspirations evolve. And so, without sounding like a *copy cat,* based on previous suggestions, I, too, note words to cut. May I make two suggestions for the first sentence? . . . most of us conjure up an image of a fragile air craft . . . [I deleted two words: can, that]. I am *stuck* on the word fragile. There is a conflct with the word fragile and workhorse. Two suggestions for revision: Perhaps it was bittersweet for Orville to see . . . [I deleted the words: It must have been] He must have felt amazed . . . [I deleted been and added the word felt]. All the best to you, Todd. This GROG friend is proud of you. With sincere gratitude, I thank you for your service.

  3. Todd Burleson says:

    I agree Linda, with CC, NF is even more important. It's a good time to write it. Thank you for your insights.

  4. Todd Burleson says:

    Thank you Joanne. I love the way OWFF rolls of my tongue too. I'm working on tightening it up a bit. Thank you.

  5. Janet Sue Dawson says:

    Hello Todd, I would definitely read your book. Love history and I'm happy that your book is for children. Good luck to you.

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