Would You Read It Wednesday #203 – Kitty Clawdette The Broadway Pet (PB)

Helloooooooo, friends!

Here on Blueberry Hill Spring thinks it’s coming ahead of schedule!  The weatherfolk are forecasting 71 degrees for today – practically unheard of around here on March 9!  The sun is shining, the geese are returning, and the cardinals (the cardinals!) are singing from the blackberry patch already!

Phyllis is working on her tan… 🙂

Phyllis

All this springiness is making me feel like doing something new and different, something exciting and fun, so I’d like to take this opportunity to ask you if there’s anything in particular I can do for you?

Is there a new feature you’d love to see on this picture book writing blog?

Is there an old feature you’d like to see brushed off and brought back?

What would help you the most in your picture book writing and reading pursuits? (And I direct this question not just to writers, but also to teachers, and parents – anyone who spends a lot of time with picture books on a daily basis 🙂 )

If you’ve got any bright ideas, please share them below in the comments and I’ll do my best to accommodate!

I am (hopefully) getting close to having my newsletter ready (more news on that as it develops), and I’m hoping you’re going to find that helpful and fun!

Speaking of helpful and fun, today we have a special Something Chocolate for the gluten-free cake lovers in our audience!  (See how I segued there?  In a way that actually made no sense but kind of sort of sounds like it did?!  It’s a talent.  Some people are just born with it :))

Anyway, where was I?  Oh, yes.  Triple Chocolate Fudge Cake.  Can’t go wrong with a name like that! 🙂  It’s comprised of dark chocolate fudge cake with white chocolate mousse between the layers and a sour cream chocolate icing.  Sounds like breakfast, don’t you think? 🙂

Triple Chocolate Fudge Cake

 

Today’s pitch comes to us from Christie who loves writing picture books and connecting with other kid lit writers on Facebook and Twitter. On her blog, she hosts a weekly picture book brainstorming session called Fridea Fest. You can also find her on Instagram @bonster_goose where she encourages fellow pet lovers to “Read to your dog!”

Visit her on the web:

 

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Kitty Clawdette The Broadway Pet

Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)

The Pitch:  Kitty Clawdette, a homeless cat, aches to be a star on Broadway, but she’s an unknown talent with no experience. Dedicated to practice and presentation, and with the help of her lucky star, the theater janitor, Kitty finally gets a big break and learns there is something more important than fame.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Christie improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)

 

Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read It in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above.  Unbelievably, there are actually still openings in March so you could get your pitch up for some helpful feedback very soon, and have a chance to have it read by editor Erin Molta!

Christie is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to seeing what kinds of things you guys would like to see here and finding out how I can be most helpful to YOU! 🙂

Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! 🙂

 

35 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #203 – Kitty Clawdette The Broadway Pet (PB)

  1. ptnozell says:

    Christie, I would definitely read this book. Love the name Kitty Clawdette & envision an endearing character. I was a bit confused in the second sentence – is it the help of a lucky star, a janitor, both, or is the janitor the lucky star? If it’s both, I think I’d re-order the sentence, maybe “the help of a janitor and thanks to her lucky stars”, or maybe just call it a dash of luck or good fortune?

    Susanna, I always loved your Monday craft-oriented posts, but you do so much already & WYRIW & PPBF are so helpful & time-consuming, that I fully understand if you focus on these – and your amazing course, Making Picture Book Magic.

    • Christie Allred says:

      Excellent points, thank you. That sentence was not there in my original query. I don’t like it either, and the input I get today will help me make the necessary adjustments 🙂

  2. kathalsey says:

    This pitch is fun to read and the title is purr-fect! I agree, that you, Susanna are doing enough for our community! TY, plus we always get a chocolate recipe! Love Phyllis & her trendy sunglasses! I agree that it’s not clear if the janitor is the lucky star. If the duo is the janitor & cat – I find this very original and the premise is ripe for humor. You just need to tweak this a bit for a killer pitch. I’d like a few examples/specifics about her lack of talent or how she improves. (She has two left paws, she takes 3 classes a day at Miss Pttypat’s Tap Academy, whatever, just a few detail for us to hang our hats on w/out giving it all away.)

    • Christie Allred says:

      It’s nice to see another person saying the same thing about that janitor sentence – the sentence I do not like anyway. All your input helps me know what to do about it. Thanks 🙂

  3. janebuttery says:

    Like the others, I think her name is appealing. I believe the janitor , her friend ,gives her alucky break so she can be the star. I wondered what her forte was. Could you hint at it? Does she do tricks?or does she ballet dance?

  4. janebuttery says:

    Susanna, I’m involved in REFOREMO and so full of book idea. Could you occasionally go over one or two of your favourites in a little detail once a month,please? YOur enthusiasm comes through in every post. Thank you!

  5. Gabi Snyder says:

    I’m going to echo a lot of what’s already been said. I would DEFINITELY read this story — it sounds absolutely adorable! I LOVE the name and the situation. I read the pitch to mean that the janitor is her lucky star. I like that she learns that there’s something more important than fame. Like others, I think a couple small details about overcoming her lack of experience could make the pitch even more compelling. Also, she is described as an “unknown talent.” Does that mean she already has talent or does she need to work to develop it? Good luck with this!

    Susanna, you already do so much for the kidlit community. Thank you! In terms of new features, I like Jane’s mentor text idea.

  6. Jen Bagan says:

    Susanna – I don’t know how you’d possibly fit in MORE than you already do! Unless, perhaps, you do a spring contest in early April – maybe 400 words or less? I’M KIDDING! I’m sure you need a contest-free stretch for a while 🙂

    Christie – this is a great pitch and I’d definitely read the story. My only thing was that you mention Kitty’s homeless. To me, that would be a big barrier for her becoming a Broadway star – she doesn’t have money for lessons or clothes or anything. The pitch seems to skim over this a bit and if it plays a major role in Kitty’s life then I’d like to hear more about that and maybe how the janitor helps her with this. “With no money for lessons, she gets help from her lucky star and finally gets a break …” Otherwise, really cute concept!

  7. julie rowan zoch says:

    Bad sign – I can’t stop looking at that fudge cake! Yes, I’d read it, but it already reminds me of a recent title – just can’t remember the name! Sorry! I also agree about the confusion between janitor and lucky star. As for offering more, Susanna, I can’t think of anything. I already feel an excess of generosity on your part and am truly grateful!

  8. hethfeth says:

    Hi. I think your writing style comes across as strong. I love your character’s name, and the implication that the story includes a friendship theme (with the stage janitor as Kitty’s unlikely confidante). I don’t get a strong sense of what will happen in the story. There are many picture book stories about wanting to perform, having stage fright, and other performance-related themes. I can’t tell from the pitch what will make this story unique. What are some unique details you might include–without either making the pitch too long or giving away and secrets?

  9. Lynne Marie says:

    I would definitely read this. I found the word Broadway was a hook for me. I enjoyed the first sentence but got somewhat confused with the second. I think it would be good to highlight her attempts, perhaps, i.e., Kitty tries everything to get noticed, including (something intriguing or a unique detail as mentioned above). Just a thought. I am also rooting for her as she is homeless, and I do like her name :). Good luck with this!

  10. Wendy says:

    Hi Christie! I love animal stories. If you haven’t read it, you should check out BROADWAY BARKS by Bernadette Peters (a homeless dog to Broadway and home story). Perhaps you don’t need the janitor in the pitch at all? It took away from Kitty a bit and sounded as if the janitor solved the problem, instead of her. Good luck!
    Susanna, do you ever SLEEP!? I need another round of Picture Book Magic. 🙂 Maybe if you feel you have to write something else, reviewing what made certain pbs a success?

  11. Rosi Hollinbeck says:

    Love the theatre and I think kids find stardom fascinating. I love the name and think the story idea sounds like a good one. I would definitely read it. I agree with others about a little confusion about the janitor and the lucky star, but otherwise, this looks good. Good luck with your project.

  12. angiecal76 says:

    Love, love the name Kitty Clawdette! And yes, I’d so want to read this story. It sounds fun, fresh, and, based on your pitch, heartwarming. As others mentioned, just tighten up the second sentence. Think about this line, too: “but she’s an unknown talent with no experience” Be sure this is exactly what you want to express. Does Kitty have an exceptional or unusual talent or does she just think she does? Is she inexperienced because no one will give her a chance?

  13. Genevieve Petrillo says:

    I LOVE this pitch. And if a cat were on Broadway, I’d be there to see it. And then I’d get an agent for my dog, Cupcake! I’d love it if you said what was more important than fame. I’m thinking it’s friendship. Or maybe helping somebody who needs help. Good luck with this.

  14. Angela Brown says:

    I would read today’s WYRI pitch. Wonderful pitch tips have been provided so that’s all I have to say, oh, and thanks for the chocolate. Soooooo needed it after this long humpday.

  15. Maria Marshall (@MariaMarshall_) says:

    Susanna – oh my that cake looks yummy o die for! My friend will love the gluten-free recipe! I echo the others- you do so much already and are imminently helpful to the community.

    Christie – I love the name Kitty Clawdette snagged me immediately and I really wanted to read more (just based on her name & my love for cats). I felt the the janitor is her “lucky star” (fairy godfather0 who helps get her her break. But, like the others, I would like to see just a bit about how she struggled, or what she actually had to overcome, in the pitch. You’re very close and it sounds lie such a cute story. I am definitely intrigued and want to know more about kitty. 🙂

  16. setwiggs says:

    Kristy,
    Yes I am interested in reading how Kitty Clawdette makes it big. I ‘m confused about her lucky star-is that the janitor? Or an actual star?
    Good luck with your story.

  17. jeanjames926 says:

    I just can’t wait to get a ticket to Kitty Clawdette’s broadway debut! I love the pitch, and the story idea, I agree with a comment above that the janitor doesn’t need to be mentioned at all if you add a bit more about Kitty and her discovery of whatever is more important than fame. Good luck to you.
    Susanna I had no idea gluten free could look so good. As far as doing more…I don’t know, I think you do so much already!

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