All of a sudden there’s a nip in the air!
We even had a light frost last night!
So I think I’m right on base when I suggest the warming goodness of Hot Fudge Cheesecake Brownies for our Something Chocolate this morning. Sounds like breakfast to me… 🙂 I dare you to eat fruit cup after a look at these… and just imagine the warm, chocolatey smell that could be wafting through your house right now…! 🙂
Hot Fudge Cheesecake Brownies Health Food 🙂
Ah! Don’t you feel warmer and more motivated already? I’m pretty sure chocolate has an inspirationa element as well – eat chocolate=write books – a direct correlation 🙂 (Or here’s hoping, anyway, because I’ve got to get some serious writing done ASAP!!!)
Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Leonie whom you will remember from September with her pitch for I’m Hungry Mummy. She says, “Writing is my fun, I love putting pen to paper and watching a story unfold. I just know you’ll love my stories too! I live in Melbourne, Australia and work for a big company during the day and write early in the morning or late into the night. My husband, 3 daughters and I live in a Bayside community with our pooch, Jade – a German Short-haired Pointer. My love of reading started when I was a young girl and continued into my first job as a librarian. I now spend as much time as I can, reading and writing fiction.”
Find her on the web on Face Book at Leonie Hearn – Author, and on Twitter @leonie_hearn
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: The Magician’s Apprentice
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: The boys are preparing for a show, but Sam keeps forgetting his costume! An outfit disappears and they need to find who stole it!
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Leonie improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above. At this point, we’re probably looking into the new year for dates, so you have a little time to prepare and polish your pitches, but sign up now to secure a date so you can get helpful feedback and have a chance to have your pitch read and commented on by editor Erin Molta!
Leonie is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to the New York State Sheep & Wool Festival this weekend! I’ll be at the booth in Building B run by Merritt Bookstore. I will be reading and signing along with the fabulous and wonderful Iza Trapani, Nancy Furstinger, and Nancy Shaw…and probably some others! I hope you’ll all come and join us! Buy books for Christmas presents! Eat some delicious fall fair food! Immerse yourself in all things yarn and knitting, weaving and crocheting, cozy and crafty! It’s such a fun event!
Oh, and in case you missed it Monday, since that’s not a regular posting day around here, the 2017 Halloweensie Writing Contest Guidelines have been announced! Check them out and have some fun! 🙂
Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! 🙂 And go make those brownies! 🙂
12 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #265 – The Magician’s Apprentice (PB)”
Hi Leonie, your title intrigues me – magicians make such interesting characters & someone learning to become one could get into all sorts of mischief. I’d like to learn more about that mischief in your pitch, though. Perhaps you can add some details. For instance, who are “the boys” – is one of them the magician? Is Sam the apprentice? And can you provide clues as to how (or whether) magic plays a role in the costume disappearance? I think if you add a bit of magic to your pitch, we’ll be spellbound awaiting the outcome. I look forward to learning more about your magical apprentice!
Thanks for sharing, Leonie. I like how simple and straight forward your pitch is – I get the plot. I agree that I would like a more complete description than just “the boys.” I am also not getting a sense of the tone of the story. Use your language to show if it is funny, spooky, or whatever. I’m a fan of magic, so this looks fun.
I would read it. I’d like to know who the main character is and maybe a clue as to how they go about finding it. And adding how the magic comes into play will help. =) Good luck! Time for a healthy brownie.
I love the idea of “Magic” so I would read your book. I, too, feel I’d like to know who the boys are and how does the Magician play into the story? What’s his relationship to Sam and the show that they are preparing? Some magician “lingo” might make this a really inviting pitch!! Good Luck!
Yes. I would read this. I definitely agree with the commenters who said we need to know who “the boys” are. Brothers? Friends? And what kind of show are they doing? A magic show? A play? I’m also wondering what costume went missing. Great start. Good luck with it.
Hi Leonie, I’d pick this up off the bookshelf because my kids and I love to read magically things, but I’d probably have to flip through it to get a gist of what makes this book unique. Because the pitch doesn’t really give us that. What are some specifics to your book that make it different, a labor of YOUR heart? Good luck in your writing! Pitches are hard, lol
I too am interested in the magic and the title is intriguing, I would read it. I also have to agree that it would be nice to know who besides Sam is involved, What type of show? How does Sam’s costume blunders correspond to the missing outfit? Is the magician’s cape missing? Is the outfit essential to their show? This is a really great start, but you need to flesh it out just a little more. Really intriguing, good luck. 🙂
The title in intriguing and I would have looked at it for that, but the pitch, not as much. I would have more inclined to read it, if you tightened the pitch to something like: The boys are preparing for a magician show, when an outfit disappears and they need to find who stole it!
YUM YUM! I usually prefer my chocolate and my cheesecake separate, but I might make an exception here. Thanks as always Susanna! As for the pitch- I found the title very intriguing! Your summary offers lots of possibilities but I didn’t feel like the pitch lived up to the potential. Take into account I don’t know the events of your story or anything about the boys but here’s a suggestion based on the information you provided- Sam and his friends are nervous but excited! Their magic act is almost ready…except for Sam’s costume which has disappeared! The boys have to solve the mystery and find the costume before the curtain goes up! I hope its helpful. Either way, your story sounds like lots of fun! 🙂
I would read this – who doesn’t love magic! I’d also like to a little more about Sam, the other boys, and if Sam’s costume is the one that disappears.
I was immediately drawn in by the title, but left wanting more from the pitch. I agree with the others that if you clarify who the boys are, their relationship, and some magical intrigue, then abracadabra…your pitch will be perfect.
The title makes me want to learn more about the magic in this story and what the apprentice learns. Perhaps there is a twist? I am a little confused as to what the main problem is. Is it Sam forgetting his costume or an outfit disappearing? Are the two linked? Good luck with this story!