Would You Read It Wednesday #290 – The Librarian’s Treasure (YA)

After a wonderful week I am back from California, another graduation – Master’s Degree this time – celebrated!

We did all sorts of other fun stuff too, including walking and biking for miles along the beach, going down (and then back up!) the Thousand Steps (which turned out to be 223 – we counted! – but were still very long and steep! 🙂 ), and visiting the Pirate’s Tower (if there isn’t a picture book in that, I’d be astonished! 🙂 )

Plus we went to see The Incredibles II because everyone should! 🙂

Oh!  And did I mention we visited one of the Sprinkles Cupcake Bakeries?!  Not the flagship, but still!  Anyone who has watched Cupcake Wars can appreciate 🙂

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I think we can count that as today’s Something Chocolate because I can promise you there was plenty of chocolate in that box! 🙂 And boy were those cupcakes delicious!

Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Katie who says, “My name is Katherine Brown but friends and family call me Katie. I have been scribbling out stories since I was a child, poetry as a teen, and finally some very short children’s books as an adult. I loved writing and reading as long as I can remember; in fact, I wrote newsletters as a kid and sold them to parents for fifty cents each (making them purchase separately of course).”

Find her on the web at: http://www.katherinebrownbooks.com/

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: The Librarian’s Treasure

Age/Genre: YA Fiction

The Pitch:

His assignment: Raegan, the hum-drum librarian. Or was she? His superiors thought there was more though for weeks Drake had felt he was wasting his time, but now he wasn’t so sure. Suddenly Drake was fighting to avoid falling under her spell, still unsure if the mission he was on could possibly involve Raegan, this enigma of a woman who never did a thing but stack books and read.
(FYI if you want to include this question to readers out there ………I have two completely different ideas about how to take this book to completion and would love a vote: Action/Romance or Fantasy?)

 

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Katie improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)

Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above.  There are openings in July, so you could get your pitch up pretty soon for/[so you have time to polish your pitch before putting it up] for helpful feedback and have a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta!

Katie is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to visiting with my sister who is here from Georgia!  Always so great to see her and her family 🙂

Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! 🙂

(And help yourself to seconds on cupcakes 🙂 )

 

15 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #290 – The Librarian’s Treasure (YA)

  1. Rene` Diane Aube says:

    Hi Susanna and Katie,

    Those cupcakes sure did hit the spot *guffaw* with my early morning coffee! I’m afraid I over-indulged and ate every single one of them though. Guess I better get busy baking a few more since I’m now on a sugar high. 😉

    Susanna, I’m so happy you enjoyed your time in California! That’s a trip on my bucket list.

    Katie, I might read your story. I find myself wanting to know a little more about Drake and his mission. I’d like to read something a bit more intriguing about his mission…something that really entices without telling all. Why is Raegan of interest? What’s the stakes for Drake? What are the overall stakes?

    Part of your story seems to be romance, but I think, since it’s setting is probably in the library a LOT, it could also be fantasy. I wonder if there’s fantasy/romance? And there could still be action/adventure within the fantasy, right?

    Can’t wait to see what you do with this! Happy Wednesday, everyone!! 🙂

    • Katie B says:

      Hi Diane!

      Thanks for reading my pitch and I apologize for the late response. I am on vacation with my family this week.

      Great advice for me to tease with a little more info on Drake and his mission. I started to buy then couldn’t settle on one of the two ideas I had at the time. I will be certain to remedy.
      And yes. definitely building up slowly to a romance…one Drake never saw coming and Raegan doesn’t think she needs.

      I appreciate your comments, very helpful.

      Sincerely,
      Katie

  2. Kathy Halsey says:

    I am glad you had a wonderful time in CA and with a family celebration, too, Susanna. Welcome back. I am intrigued by the pitch but I a also confused by it. The first few sentences make me feel I was dropped into the middle of the story. Who are the superiors? What do they suspect? I need a few answers to get into the world you are creating. Feel once you decide if it’s a fantasy or romance or romance/fantasy, I feel you pitch will be clearer. As a former school librarian, I really feel the ho-hum, boring librarian is a real trope. Brainstorming w/you here, Katie: Could the librarian be the man Drake and the woman Raegen be the one employed to spy? Then you’d have a twist. Also, as a true librarian, that character would be doing something more than stacking books and reading. Maybe she/he is creating a new cataloging system that she’ll upload and destroy library systems across this world you are creating. Or maybe the librarian is changing the general material designators in the online system so that all F for fiction gets designated NF for nonfiction and vice versa? Don”t be afraid to mix it up a bit. Keep at it and read/watch some librarian mc stories. And remember that Bat Girl was a librarian by day in the Gotham City Library. Good luck.

    • Katie B says:

      Hi Kathy!

      Thank you for reading and commenting on my pitch. I appreciate your advice and especially love your insight for other/more realistic librarian duties.
      Later on in the book Drake will actually realize Raegan owns the private library and is feels a very personal connection to the books themselves thus lives to spend time soaking them in. That ownership is part of my twist. Would that help in anyway on your concerns for this area? Based on your input I will definitely add other responsibilities to her future days.

      Thanks again,
      Katie

  3. ptnozell says:

    Congratulations, Susanna, to you & your daughter. Another milestone, indeed!

    Katie, your pitch intrigues me. I’d like to know more about what type of assignment Drake is on; who or what the superiors are; and why a librarian is of interest (other than the obvious, that she’s the gateway to knowledge). I’m thinking romance, but setting and the clues we have thus far are making me think it could be fantasy, too.

    I look forward to learning more about this duo and their story.

    • Katie B says:

      Hello!
      I want to thank you for commenting on my pitch. This is my first participation in something like this so I will try to include more appropriate details (such as the mission and superiors) next time.
      I love mystery and not knowing what will happen in a story so much that I failed to consider that building mystery isn’t enough, my pitch must convince someone it is a book to invest in.
      Great learning experience for me.

      Thanks,
      Katie

  4. Katie Engen says:

    Probably not this version – the pitch and the question at the end make me think it’s not sufficiently developed yet. I get that an outsider with perhaps some meta/advanced/other-worldly knowledge has to interact with a mysterious and possibly powerful librarian, but the setting, backstory, and potential crisis point aren’t sufficiently clear in the pitch for me to get truly hooked.

    To answer the question, I’d notice a fantasy adventure that does not include romance…just b/c it’d be different. It also probably would not make it in YA 😉

    Love the Bat Girl reference above. And the examples of crises that come directly from ‘real librarian work.’

    • Katie B says:

      Hi Katie ,

      I wanted to say thanks for the comment and for reading my pitch. Your feedback on being more clear and detailed will help me to get this done better next time I try.
      I’ll also consider your advice on fantasy / adventure instead of romance. I had plans for Drake and Raegan, but I’m not opposed to your advice either.

      Appreciate your time,
      Katie

  5. fspoesy says:

    Hi Katie. This is a maybe for me because the pitch really left me wanting to know more specifics. Things like the male character’s name. Who he works for. How is he falling under Raegan’s spell? (Mind control, witchcraft, good old fashioned womanly wiles, her practical and logical explanations?) As written it could be almost any kind of story. That said, I’m a fan of librarians and stories about them so a more specific pitch would go a long way to turning my maybe into a big fat YES.

    Since I’m not sure of the underlying plot, I’ve assumed some things to write one way the pitch could be improved. Hopefully it will give you some ideas on tightening up your pitch!

    Ms. Raegan is just a librarian. Or is she? isn’t so sure anymore. If this librarian can be believed, then what was supposed to be a simple ‘observe and report’ mission for his employers, , is turning into a ‘what is real and who can I trust’ mission that could lead to if doesn’t figure it out soon.

    • fspoesy says:

      Apparently my use of caret symbols was not a good idea as they all disappeared in the pitch portion of my comment above. Let’s see if I can get parens to work.

      Ms. Raegan (LastName) is just a librarian. Or is she? (guy’s name) isn’t so sure anymore. If this librarian can be believed, then what was supposed to be a simple ‘observe and report’ mission for his employers, (agency name), is turning into a ‘what is real and who can I trust’ mission that could lead to (really bad outcome) if (guy’s name) doesn’t figure it out soon.

    • Katie B says:

      Thank you very much for your comments and examples on my pitch!
      I admit I’m a newbie at this and I appreciate everyone who has read and provided such honest feedback. I see now I didn’t give enough information for someone to feel they can make an informed decision about whether or not to read this book.

      Thanks
      Katie

  6. matthewlasley says:

    I would say no as is. There is promise in this story idea, but that is what it feels like, an idea.

    I was confused from the start. You start off with a possessive pronoun, and I have no idea who “His” is?! Then the rest of the sentence gave me a name, but I am not sure what is supposed to be happening. Then you start again with “His” and I wondered if I misread and Reagan was “His” and why you started off with him, then her?
    Once I got who “His” was, it made a bit more sense. Then the third sentence seemed to trip over itself. At “more though” it feels like there should be a comma.

    Drake’s first assignment was to observe this librarian whose sole interests seemed to be stacking and reading books. Why would this hum drum librarian be so important to his superiors? There was nothing fantastic about her or her job, yet Drake felt drawn to her, like a moth to the flame. A beautiful, deadly flame.

    There are fantasy and supernatural romances. But I think it would be fine simply as a YA or NA fantasy which has an expectation of sexual tension.

    • Katie B says:

      Thank you for reading and leaving feedback on my pitch attempt Matthew.
      This was in fact my first attempt at this, obviously I have a lot to learn.
      Your comments were very helpful. I will try to be less ambiguous and I especially found your suggestion that it could simply be YA or NA helpful.
      Thanks again,
      Katie

  7. sherry alexander says:

    Hi Katie,

    I am thinking YA fantasy/sci-fi, but I would change the pitch in order to make Drake’s assignment clear.

    For example, Drake’s assignment: Was Raegan the hum-drum librarian she appeared to be, or was there something more devious behind those striking blue eyes that seemed to pierce a man’s soul. He had to find out before the mission could begin.

    With a few more details, the pitch could take my imagination out of our galaxy, into the deepest ocean, or into a sorcerer’s cave. As you can tell, sci-fi fantasy is where my mind is these days.

    • Katie B says:

      Thank you so much Sherry for reading my pitch and for your suggestions. I appreciate them and will be sure to revise and add more detail.

      🙂Katie

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