Greetings, friends!
Somehow, in this crazy week, we’ve come around to Would You Read It Wednesday!
Today, before we get to our pitch, I have a couple You Could Read It stories for youđ
Since we’re all looking for ways to keep our kids engaged while they’re out of school, or trying to fill out our lesson plans if we’re teachers, or hearkening back to the better times of our youth if we’re just old like međ here are a couple of my favorite stories that might be new to today’s kids (since they’re oldies but goodies)!
And what could go better with story time than Something Chocolate? How about some Death By Reeses Cheesecake Brownies?đ
Death By Reeses Cheesecake Brownies
Recipe HERE at Hugs & Cookies xoxo
I would say YUMMMM!!!!! but my mouth is too full đ
Now, isn’t that lovely? Between the stories and the recipes you’ve got a way to entertain yourself and your kids for the better part of a morning!đ
Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Shae who says, “My name is Shae Pepper. I’m a new picture book author. In addition to being The Traveling Teach (www.facebook.com/thetravelingteach), curating my dogs instagram (www.instagram.com/trufflestravelsus), I travel full-time with my husband and Truffles, and blog about it at www.nohomejustroam.com. I am a regular contributor to the online Cincy Pet Magazine (cincypet.com). My own experiences with anxiety and my Masterâs Degree in Youth Work and Community Development, particularly helping children and teens develop life skills, provides a unique perspective on this subject.”
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: Skritch, Scratch, Snuffle
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 3-8)
The Pitch: Just like children, Waffles, an anxious wombat, has trouble keeping her fears to a manageable size. She hears a noise and imagines the âwhat-ifâ monster which grows as her imagination runs wild. Sheâs certain sheâs going to be eaten, until her echidna friend, Chicken, appears at her door and together they overcome the monster.
So what do you think? Â Would You Read It? Â YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. Â If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Shae improve her pitch. Â Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. Â (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. Â I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! Â For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above. Â There are openings in April, so you could get your pitch up pretty soon for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta!
Shae is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! Â I am looking forward to some procrastabaking (a term you can thank my daughter for đ)!!!
Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! đ
And I hope you all stay safe and well!
Susanna Leonard Hill 
Yes, I would read it. I like the unusual animal characters and timely subject matter. Thanks for those helpful links, Susanna. Love the term procrastabaking!
Thank you so much for your feedback. I love unusual characters and met a wombat in person. They are both fluffy/cuddly seeming and fierce (they are like little tanks!) so a wombat seemed perfect for the fragility and strength that dealing with anxiety sometimes needs.
Always room for a good story that happens to feature a character with perhaps some non-neurotypical traits. I like the pitch’s upbeat tone, problem/resolution outline, and character names. Consider giving the monster a name b/c using ‘what-if’ makes me think this quickly will become more ‘aggressively’ didactic than revealing growth through relationship/self-awareness and seamless storytelling.
Thank you so much for your feedback. I’m sorry but I don’t quite understand your final line. I think I sort of do but do you mind explaining it further?
Yes. I would read this story. I think you could eliminate the first phrase (Just like children) and start right in with Waffles… I would also like to see a few more examples of how her imagination takes over. What if this? What if that? I think this story would be very relatable to kids and I love that the main character is a wombat. Something new! Good luck!
Thank you so much for your feedback. Waffles begins to wonder what the what-if monster will look like and do. Will it have eyes? fangs? eat wombats?
I felt like the wombat was the prefect animal for this main character. Not only because they are adorable, but they are both fluffy and fierce which makes them perfect for the strength and fragility that’s sometimes needed with anxiety.
First, I want to take this moment to thank Susanna for keeping some semblance of normalcy to our world in this time of anxiety. When I opened up my email this morning and saw Would You Read It Wednesday, my mind relaxed a bit. Continuity feels good when there are so many unknowns. Thanks, Susannahđ.
Now, letâs get startedđ.
Hi, Shea,
Iâm not sure if others will agree with me, but the monsters-run-wild theme, if done with a new twist, is timeless. And, thus, marketable.
You did a great job of stating the problem in the first line as well as telling the reader that Waffles is Wombat and female. The only part thatâs missing is the big climax (the something big that happens). See my suggestion below. Lastly, I removed words that, in my opinion, were unnecessary. If you donât agree, please toss my suggestions.
Here goes:
Waffles, an anxious wombat, wants the What If Monster to go away, but those scary noises donât stop. When Chicken, her echidna friend, appears at the door, WombatâŚ.(I donât know enough of your story to finish this, but something like: does something and overcomes her fears or comes up with the idea or something along these lines.)
Hope this helps drive you in the right direction and good luck!
Cheers, PalPBKids
Thank you so much for your feedback. It turns out to be a misunderstanding and the noises that she hears weren’t something scary at all but her friend. Is that maybe what I should add? It doesn’t spoil the plot or make it seem boring? I thought we were supposed to leave them “wanting more?” Any advice on that would be great. Thank you again!
Yes, I would read this! I canât improve on the edits suggests by PALPBKIDS. Getting stuck in a cycle of âwhat ifsâ is what I did as an anxious, fearful child. And I still struggle to control that tendency as an adult. Your story is needed. Good luck, Shae!
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I’m the same. I hope this book will come to fruition so other future adults can learn more about it.
Aye matey, I be liking any book what be dealing with anxiety – especially now. Maybe it just be me, but I had to look up the word ‘echidna.’ Arr, it sounds like one groovy monster. But why be it called Chicken? That conjures up a different image – unless it really is cowardly.
Thank you so much for your feedback. So an echidna is another animal that lives in burrows and is Waffles best friend. I chose Chicken as her name for two reasons. 1. She’s an introvert that on the surface seems shy and not so brave but she’s actually just the balance of strength that extroverted Waffles needs. 2. Chicken and Waffles is a meal here in the US so it’s a little joke. (hee hee)
Susanna,
Thank you so much for including my pitch today. I’m looking forward to any further feedback from your readers. I really appreciate this opportunity.
Sincerely,
Shae
Yes, I would definitely read this. I love quirky friendship stories, especially if they can help children overcome their fears.
Way to go Shae!
Thank you Jan!
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Hi Shae! You already have lots of sage advice above. My question for you is, do you feel it necessary to reveal the animal species in your pitch? I ask because I wonder if the story hinges on what type of animals they are (& thus actions they may take) vs being the characters of Waffles & Chicken? Wombats & echnidas are fascinating creatures but to be sure, your story’s characters must stand out. Just something to chew on, in addition to the cookies đ
Thank you so much for this feedback. They don’t need their animals revealed in the pitch, that being said, I have my reasons for why they are the animals they are so I’m going to need a really strong reason not to keep them as a wombat and an echinda. đ