Howdy, Everyone!
Even though it’s only been autumn for one day, there’s been a nip in the air the past couple mornings – only 36 degrees here on Blueberry Hill. The birds are flocking to the feeder. . . and so are the squirrels. . . and the chipmunks! A friend of mine posted the best picture ever on FB:
How did he even get in there?! 😊
While the chipmunks steal all the birdseed, I have the perfect Something Chocolate for the second day of Autumn – Pumpkin Chocolate Brownie Cheesecake! Doesn’t this look SO delicious???
Pumpkin Chocolate Brownie Cheesecake
Also, I know I don’t need to point out that it’s totally healthy, since it’s made out of vegetables (pumpkin and chocolate beans!) and calcium and protein (I mean, that’s what cheesecake is, right? 😊)
So definitely. Have seconds. Or even thirds 😊
Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Katie. Katie writes stories and learning resources to engage young minds with big ideas. Happy to leave her desk for family fun and sports Katie is fueled by faith, laughter, and ice cream. She lives in Maryland where one of her favorite runs is the ~10 miles to the Washington Monument in D.C. Her website is here and she’s on Twitter @KTOEngen
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: Winx Thinks Dinosaurs
Age/Genre: MG
The Pitch: Winx Muller never outgrew dinosaurs. He’s got the wall art, book stash, and paleontologist autographs to prove it. But his panicky dislike of dirty things means a life spent digging up fossils may never be. And with his parents missing while his older sister, Marta, deals with some mystery illness, Winx doesn’t expect to leave Aunt Lena’s house anytime soon. But while poking around his great aunt’s attic Winx finds a pair of filthy, smelly socks that sing promises of Time Travel. Suddenly the future – and the past – seem wide open. The siblings try everything (even research!) to see Mesozoic dinosaurs. But the Time-Space Continuum does not play and the aftereffects of bungled Time Travel Rules are no joke. Stumbling through unexpected paleontology hot spots, Winx learns to cope with dirty realities without giving up on his ‘dangerous lizard’ dreams.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Katie improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above. There are openings as soon as next week, so you could get your pitch up very soon for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta!
Katie is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to going apple picking. I don’t have an actual time in mind to go, but I want to! 😊 🍎
Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! 😊
Susanna Leonard Hill 
Susanna, I think the chipmunk is eyeing the cheesecake!! I don’t blame him!
Katie,
I would definitely read this! I love the idea that a kid is crazy about dinosaurs but doesn’t like to get all “dirty” looking for bones!
I was little confused by the “missing parents?” To me it had a criminal sound to it, as if they’d been kidnapped. Could you say that his parents are off nursing his older sister, Marta, who has some mystery illness? For most of the pitch it sounds like Winx is on his own at his Aunt’s house since his older sister doesn’t live with him. But then you mention “siblings trying everything?” Are there other siblings staying with Aunt Lena? If the sibling(s) play(s) an important role, I would mention him/her/them by name.
Since the time travel goes awry, I feel like the obstacle of how to return home should be addressed in the pitch, as well. This sounds like an exciting adventure story! Best of luck!
Thanks, Judy. I’ll smooth out the rough edges you noticed. I appreciate your time & insight.
Reblogged this on seschipper and commented:
I thought this was a well composed pitch! 🙂
Thanks for the thumbs up! I do appreciate it.
Hello Susanna and Katie:
Susanna, I love a smart ground squirrel. I get such a kick out of watching the squirrels and chipmunks in our yard and don’t mind that they share in the bird food feasts. Much better than finding birdseed filled scat and realizing that you have a visiting skunk. Yes, I looked closely at the scat so I could figure out how worried we have to be about letting our dogs out at night.
Katie, I am a maybe. I think this is a fun time-travel story like The Time-Warp Trio stories, or maybe Jumanji, but I’m a bit lost with your pitch. There is so much information in the pitch, I feel like I’m not quite sure what to focus on. How important are the missing parents to the story? If they are “missing” to allow the kids to be at the aunt’s house, then I think I would skip that part in the pitch. As I read that part I thought the parents were maybe with the sister dealing with her mysterious illness. Then you mentioned the siblings go on the adventure together. I think you mean the sister and Winx.
I would love to see a more positive view on Winx continuing to love dinosaurs, when you start with he never outgrew, it feels to me like it’s a bad thing. I also found that the “(even research)” sounds like a negative when it’s such an important skill, and I feel should be stated as a positive.
“a pair of filthy, smelly socks that sing promises of Time Travel” Do they literally sing, or what is it about the socks that would lead a child to believe they might be able to time travel? I am very curious as this is not your usual time traveling tool.
I like the idea that a child wants to be a paleontologist but doesn’t like to get his hands dirty. Kids who have sensory processing issues would certainly understand this conundrum.
Good luck with pitch revisions. I am intrigued.
Hello! Yes, I’d read this story. You had me at “a pair of filthy, smelly socks that sing promises of Time Travel.” (lowercase time travel?) I’m a huge fan of any type of time travel story, and this one sounds zany and fun. I agree that I was unclear on where the parents were, but it didn’t phase me. I like that your main character has an unusual name, too.