Straight From The Editor! #7 and Oh Susanna – Board Book Length? and Resubmission To Publishers?

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Greetings from the old folks’ home where some of us are a year older than we were last week 🙂

(That makes us 27 if anyone is counting… :))

My truly heartfelt thanks to all of you who took time out of your weekend to send me birthday wishes and read Eric’s Happy Birthday Author post – you are all the BEST and I feel so lucky and grateful to be part of such a wonderful group of people!  Thank you, thank you, so very much!!!

Now (lest I become overly sentimental :)) we’d best move right ahead to Straight From The Editor!

You will recall Miranda’s winning pitch:

Working Title:  Reef Stew
Age/Genre:  Rhyming Picture Book ages 4-8
The Pitch:  When a shipwreck destroys their reef, the shellfish grow selfish and every creature’s a crab.  Can Whale stir up happiness with a single piece of stony coral?  Filled with slurps, burps, and spicy sargassum, this quirky version of a classic tale will send ripples of laughter through any school of young guppies.

Here is editor Erin Molta’s comment:

I actually don’t have anything to say about this except for one thing: What you have written is lyrical and inviting and gets the point across, but if you’re pitching a rhyming picture book then it would be great to show some rhyme  — something to give an editor an idea of how you rhyme. Rhyming is not looked upon favorably, so either don’t tell them it’s rhyming because that might turn them off unnecessarily or show them example of how you rhyme.

Pretty interesting, don’t you think?  Looks like y’all picked the right winner 🙂 and I thought Erin’s comment about the rhyme was intriguing.  I hope we all learned something!

Moving right along, let’s jump on into Oh Susanna.  Today I’m actually going to answer two questions because they’re pretty short.

First, Laura asked, “In regard to Children’s Board Books –  Is there a magical number of pages required?  A minimum or maximum number (i.e. 32 pages for picture books)?” 

My answer to this question is that it depends on the publishing house/line you are writing for.  Board books have fewer spreads than picture books, as a general rule – they will not be 32 pages.  But I have seen them anywhere from 6 or 8 pages up to about 20.  So go to your local library or bookstore and look at a selection of board books.  Count the spreads/pages and make yourself a chart – for example, Little Simon’s board books tend to be about 8 spreads/16 pages.  This will help you on two levels: one, you will end up with a list of publishers who publish board books (many of them do not so it’s important to know who does), and two, you will have a good idea of the length each publisher/imprint leans toward so you can appropriately target your manuscript.

Second, Kirsten asked, “Can you ever approach a publisher more than once with the same piece. For example, if Publisher A rejects the piece, can you resubmit the same piece to Publisher A after you’ve made substantial rewrites and a substantial period of time has elapsed? Or is it “one strike and you’re out” for each manuscript?“

Hmmm…. this is a bit tricky.  I would say “one strike you’re out” as a general rule.  If you’ve submitted and your manuscript has been read and passed on (that’s the euphemism for rejected :)), your work there (with that particular MS) is done and it’s time to move on to another publisher.

The exceptions to this rule would be:

1.  You submitted to Editor A at Publishing House A.  After some time and substantial rewrites that make your MS much stronger, Editor A leaves Publishing House A and is replaced by new Editor B who has never seen your MS.  If you still feel Publishing House A is a great fit for your book, you could try Editor B.  (This is not the same as resubmitting your MS to another editor in the same house.  Presumably you selected Editor A because s/he was involved with the imprint most suited to your work, so you wouldn’t resubmit to editors of other less well-suited imprints of the house just to get another editor’s eyes on your MS.  For example, you submit to the editor at Little Simon.  If she turns you down you wouldn’t turn around and resubmit to another editor at Little Simon or to an editor at Beach Lane (another S&S children’s imprint.))

2.  When you submitted to Publishing House A, they rejected your MS but indicated interest, saying they would like to see it again if you change X, Y, and Z.  In that case you could make changes and resubmit as soon as you comfortably could.

That is what I think, Kirsten, but I would be very interested to hear what some of you other experienced writers think about this subject, so please share your wisdom with all of us in the comments!

Kirsten or Laura, if you have follow up questions or anything I said wasn’t clear, please pursue it in the comments!!

Finally, in Phyllis Tour Update News, I’d like to point you all toward Kathy’s brand new blog where Phyllis visited Vermont, and Julie’s blog which posts about Phyllis’s visit to Colorado!  Please stop by when you have a second and share the love 🙂

Also, Phyllis took the liberty of posting a picture of her Kiwi Bird friend on Face Book (he arrived on Blueberry Hill all the way from New Zealand courtesy of Diane!) and Donna, being an alert sort even at the crack of dawn on a Sunday morning, immediately suggested we have a contest to decide on a name for the bird.  You all know how I can’t resist a contest, so later today (or at some point when I get around to it) when I have had my coffee and we are all feeling as alert as Donna, I will post the contest on Phyllis’s FB page and everyone can put in their 2 cents 🙂  You may put your two cents here in the comments as to what you’d like the prize for the winner to be!

Now, I’m pretty sure I’m forgetting something (you see, this is what happens when advanced age sets in :)) but since I can’t think what it is, off you all go to enjoy your Mondays.  Have a lovely day! 🙂

Perfect Picture Book Friday – Cowgirl Rosie And Her Five Baby Bison

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Usually when it’s time to pick a Perfect Picture Book for the week, I pop into one of the kids’ rooms, scan the shelves get lost in nostalgia remembering when I used to read all those books to them and almost instantly find a beloved story.

This week, clever lass that I am, I thought to myself, “I’ll go to the library and find something new!“

So off I trotted.  I set myself down in the corner.  I read picture book after picture book after picture book.  And none of them were Perfect.

So I came home, popped into one of the kids’ rooms, scanned the shelves, and almost instantly found this VERY beloved story 🙂  Doesn’t that title just already make you want to read it? 🙂

Cowgirl Rosie And Her Five Baby Bison
Written & Illustrated By: Stephen Gulbis
Little Brown & Co, 2001, Fiction
Suitable For: ages 3-8
Topics/Themes: animals, love, responsibility, right vs. wrong, consequences

Opening: “Cowgirl Rosie lived on a ranch with her five baby bison.  They were the most handsome babies you ever did see.  Every day Cowgirl Rosie brushed each glossy black coat and kissed each shiny nose.”

Brief Synopsis:  Cowgirl Rosie has five handsome baby bison – Bigwig, Bonnie, Beefy, Butch, and Baby B – but those babies are also mischievous!  They have a way of going thisaway and thataway that leaves their little mistress plumb worn out at day’s end.  One day they head to town.  “Stay close,” says Rosie.  But by the time she reaches her destination all five baby bison are GONE!  Where could they be?  And how will she get her beloved babies back?  It’s not what you think!

Links To Resources: Activities For Cowgirl Rosie, Cowboy And Wild West Page


Why I Like This Book:  This story has the flavor of a wild west tall tale.  The art is warm and bright, full of the colors of the desert.  The baby bison are adorable.  Though they disappear, they have not actually been disobedient, and Rosie is called on to be brave and resourceful to get her baby bison back.  The story moves right along and is fun to read aloud, full of western lingo (when the bison disappear the exclamation is “Oh, calamity!” :))  The bad guy gets what’s coming to him, and it’s the girl who saves the day 🙂

For the complete list of books with resources, please visit Perfect Picture Books.

Now, before you all rush off to read all the other Perfect Picture Books, I have a couple quick things:

First, I want to thank Cally Jackson very much for bestowing The Versatile Blogger Award upon me.  She also tagged me (as did Cheryl and Corey) in the Lucky 7 Meme, and one of these days maybe I’ll manage to squeeze that in somewhere… but not today!

Second, I’m happy to announce that my little story, Jac And The Beanstalk, (also, coincidentally, about a resourceful girl! :)) is now available from A Story Before Bed!

And third, a World Tour update from Phyllis – she has arrived at Julie’s in Colorado, so we can expect some news from there soon!  She has left Georgia for New Jersey, so I’m guessing we’ll hear something from those quarters soon as well!  Sorry to keep you all hanging, but everyone’s pretty busy this month!

PPB bloggers, please add your post-specific links to the list below, and everyone have a GREAT weekend!!!  🙂

Would You Read It Wednesday – The 35th Pitch

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Greetings, fellow Phyllis followers!  (Try saying “fellow Phyllis followers” three times fast before coffee… or even after!)

And while we’re doing tongue twisters, try saying “red bulb blue bulb”, “toy boat toy boat”, or “purple paper people” three times fast 🙂  I love tongue twisters, even though I’m not very facile with them, so if you know any good ones, please share! 🙂

Where was I?  Oh, yes.  Phyllis.

Due to the idiosyncrasies of the postal service, Phyllis has been beneath the radar for a few days, but she had a lovely Easter visit with Kerie in Pennsylvania, and I think we’ll be hearing from Georgia, Colorado, England, Australia, and Vermont any time now!  Posts from Prince Edward Island, and somewhere in Italy are expected somewhere around April 24 and 25, and there are quite a few in between.  The fun never stops around here! 🙂

Later today, Woolliam (also known as Baahb) and I will be wending our way to a local library for a pajama reading of Can’t Sleep Without Sheep.  There will be farm animal noises and singing and reading and coloring and all manner of fun and games because that is how we operate.  Phyllis will be coming too because she can’t stand being left behind, but she has promised to try not to steal Woolliam’s show.  We will see….!  She’s liable to push the boundaries since she still has 20,813 likes to accumulate before she ties with Punxsutawney Phil on Face Book!  Feel free to make my day easier by liking her new page 🙂

But enough about our agenda!  Let’s get right on to Would You Read It, shall we?

Today’s pitch comes to us from the delightful Rebecca C (not the same as Rebecca H whose YA pitch we had last month!).  Before writing for children, Rebecca inspected pantyhose, taught English in Taiwan, worked for a Russian comedian and traveled the world as a tour director. Born in America, she now lives in England. Rebecca writes picture books and poetry, and her fractured fairy tale ‘Monsterella’ won the 2011 SCBWI Barbara Karlin grant.

Here’s her pitch:

Working Title:  Broomstick Rodeo
Age/Genre:  Picture Book (4-7)
The Pitch:  The Thistlegulch Sisters have thirteen trophies between them and they’re determined to win another. They practice for the rodeo until they’re chapped under their chaps and have calluses on their warts. But when a buckin’ broomstick charges towards their youngest sister, Myrna, they realize there are more important things in life than winning trophies.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Rebecca improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in early June – not that far away! – so go ahead and send your pitch for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Rebecca is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!
See you Friday for PPBs, and hopefully with more updates from Phyllis, and maybe this month’s Straight From The Editor!

Oh Susanna – What Should A New Author Look For/Watch Out For In A Contract?

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I am so full of happy announcements today!  I like to think I’ll be spreading joy and cheer like sunshine 🙂

I assume you all have plenty of Easter candy left over, so feel free to snack while I spread cheer 🙂

First off, I would like to announce the winner of the March Pitch Pick!  As always, all the entries were terrific, and all the entrants were so brave to put their work out there for everyone to comment on.  Thanks to you, we all learn something new each week.  It would be lovely if everyone could win, but since we have to pick one each month, the polls have spoken and this month’s winner is………

Miranda, with Reef Stew!

Congratulations, Miranda!  Your pitch has already been sent to editor Erin Molta for critique, and we will all look forward to her comments!

Next, as you may or may not remember :), I so appreciate all the work the devoted Perfect Picture Book bloggers do each week that I like to spread a little thank-you cheer by randomly selecting one person each month to win a little prize.  Bloggers get one entry for every Perfect Picture Book they post that month, so in March quite a few people got 5 entries!  In case you are wondering, this month 33 bloggers posted anywhere from 1-5 books each, resulting in 128 new books being added to the list!  I didn’t do an exact count, but we now have upwards of 450 books on the list all together.  It’s getting to be quite an impressive resource!  Hopefully, parents and teachers out there are beginning to discover it and put it to good use 🙂

But I digress… 🙂  I was announcing the March gift winner which is

… dddrrruuummm rrrooollllll…

Thank you so much, Kirsten, for your wonderful additions to the list this month, and thank you to EVERYONE who participates in PPBFs – you are all wonderful!!!

So, hmm… let me rummage around in my goody bag and see what I come up with for this month’s prize…  Kirsten, you may email me to receive your choice of one of the following:  The Giblin Guide To Writing Children’s Books, An Egg Is Quiet, or Little Bunny Foo Foo: The Real Story.

My next happy announcement is that you folks seem to like the writing contests over here – thank you so much!  Quite a lot of people voted, and the general sentiment seems to be that we should have the birthday story contest in May because April is just a little too busy.  I am happy to oblige.  I want it to be fun for everyone, not stressful :), so if more people will enter and everyone will enjoy it more in May, than May it shall be!

Next on the happy announcement list is that we should have 5 or so new Tour Posts coming from Phyllis in the upcoming week from Vermont, Pennsylvania, Georgia, Australia, and 2 from the UK… if all goes according to plan… which it doesn’t always 🙂  But do stay tuned 🙂

Also, for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, Phyllis now has her very own Punxsutawney Phyllis Face Book Page for anyone who wants to like her!  She’s very excited and hoping to become more popular than Punxsutawney Phil, who currently has 20,885 “likes”.  Phyllis currently has 48 “likes” so she has a ways to go, but she is very optimistic 🙂  Phyllis’s page is still evolving, but she will certainly be featuring a Fun Fact Friday!

Finally, my last happy announcement for the day is that I get to babysit for my granddaughter today… which also means I will not be online much as she is 8 months old and crawling 🙂  So please forgive me if I get a little behind in blog post commenting!

Now that you are all hopefully feeling very cheerful, we shall move on to today’s Oh Susanna question.  Donna has a good one.  She asks:

What are some of the key things a new author should find in a “good” contract? The flip side to that would be what are some of “bad” things in a contract that should set off warning alarms for a new author to run for the hills?

Donna, my experience is that contracts are not all that different from publishing house to publishing house. I have dealt with 5 different houses, and they all seem to cover the same basic, standard things.  These include (but may not be limited to):

  • where the publisher has the right to publish your book (USA only, or foreign?)
  • your assurance that your work is original
  • when your manuscript is due in final form
  • the time frame the publisher agrees to publish the book in and at whose expense
  • when galleys and/or proofs will be delivered by the publisher and how much time you have to review them and make any corrections, as well as how much you can change the work without incurring cost to yourself
  • the amount of your advance and when and how it will be paid (full amount on signing, or half on signing, half on delivery of ms, etc.)
  • subsidiary rights (such as book clubs, audio, film rights etc.)
  • how many free copies the publisher will supply the author
  • when statements of account and royalties if they are due will be delivered (usually semi annually, and the publisher will supply the dates)
  • author’s right to examine publisher’s accounts
  • agreement by author not to publish competing work
  • reversion of rights and termination

I don’t think any reputable publishing house would try to hoodwink or cheat an author, but there’s no doubt that publishing is a business. The publisher is laying out the money to produce your book and they want to make sure it’s worth their while, so the contract will likely be written in their favor.  You as an author, especially a first-time author, may have to consider how hard you want to push for things.  Do you really need a bigger advance/higher royalties/to keep the audio rights etc. if by insisting on such things you may cause the publisher to withdraw their offer?  Many people do push.  Other’s (like me) tend to be more complacent.  This is a reason many authors like having an agent – it is the agent’s job to negotiate higher advances, better royalties etc.

I’m generalizing here to give you an idea of what to expect, but I think a typical advance to a new picture book author can be anywhere from $1000 – $5000 (depending on the book and the size of the publishing house and other factors), royalties of 5% on hardcover, 6% on paperback are common, publication in 12-24 months (but it can be shorter or longer), and 10-15 free copies of your book are typical.  I don’t know how frequently you can expect to get audio rights, or foreign rights, or things like that – sometimes I get them, sometimes the publisher does and I don’t have enough data to make a guess.

I’m not really sure what to tell you to be wary of –  certainly any situation where the publisher asks you to pay for things.  Many vanity publishers will do this, but it’s not something that should show up in a traditional publishing contract.  And I guess a contract that varied hugely from the generalities above might be something you’d want to look at pretty carefully.

I would recommend having someone look over your contract if you’re not familiar with publishing contracts.  I believe there are even resources in SCBWI for this, although I’m not sure.

So I hope that answers your questions somewhat, Donna, and I would be most appreciative of any readers who have knowledge or expertise in this area who would be willing to chime in in the comments!

Have a great Monday, everyone.  See you Wednesday for the next pitch – this one a picture book from Rebecca C!

Perfect Picture Book Friday – The Day The Goose Got Loose

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Happy Perfect Picture Book Friday, Everyone!  Grab a fortifying snack (perhaps a potpourri of Robin’s Eggs, jelly beans, chocolate eggs, and marshmallow peeps to get us in the mood for this weekend :)) and let’s dive into today’s wonderful selection of picture books!

My book today is actually one I’ve never read!  I’m posting a PPB from Cheryl Ashley, the children’s librarian at Verona Public Library in New Jersey.  This is one of her favorites, and I don’t know of a much better resource for recommendations than a children’s librarian so I, for one, am going to hustle on out and read this!  And what better for Easter weekend than a spring farm story?

The Day The Goose Got Loose
Written By:  Reeve Lindbergh
Illustrated By:  Steven Kellogg
Puffin, April 1, 1995, Fiction
Suitable For: ages 4-8
Themes/Topics: farm animals, chaos, mischief, humor
Opening:  “When the goose got loose
she caused a riot.
Nobody ever thought she’d try it!
There wasn’t any more peace and quiet.
The day the goose got loose.”

Brief Synopsis:  (From Scholastic website) “Just how much havoc can one goose cause? Take a gander at the chaos that results when a long-necked mischief-maker flies the coop. Soon the bull’s broken through the fence, and cows and horses are galloping all over town. The stampede will go on until dawn — and the laughter will last even longer. Full color.”


Links To Resources:  Fun At The Farm Teachers Guide

Why I Like This Book: (from Cheryl):  This longtime favorite was written in 1990 and is available in paperback today.  The story of the dreadful day the goose got loose is told in near perfect rhyming that will have youngsters bopping their heads keeping time.  The text almost needs to be sung, it is that rhythmic.  Among other mischievous deeds, goose ate the hens grain, frightened the sheep, enraged the ram,inspired the horses to get up to no good, made the cows tense, provoked the bull named Spence, annoyed Dad and upset Mom.  The pictures are a riot.  This silly story is a feast for the eyes, ears and funny bone.

Thank you so much for sharing your recommendation with us, Cheryl!

For the complete list of books with resources, please visit Perfect Picture Books.

Still got some jelly beans left?  Good.  Because we have a few more items of interest.

If you haven’t had a chance to vote on the March Pitch Pick, please hop over HERE and vote for which pitch should get a read and critique from editor Erin Molta.

In World Tour News, Phyllis had a delightful visit to Debbie in South Dakota where she made friends with a bison and was interviewed by a very cute dog named Sherlock!  She is currently with Melissa in Australia and on her way to Alison in Georgia.  She is also lost in the UK somewhere between Rebecca and Clare… I have no idea…!  She has also been to Vermont, and that post will be up sometime this weekend from Kathy!  Be sure to check back here to the Tour Page, and I will also post any new links on Face Book as soon as I get them!

In contest news, I’m still on the fence, so I’m going to let you decide with the click of a button!


<a href=”http://polldaddy.com/poll/6112976/”>Contest?</a>

I’m very democratic around here 🙂  You can vote until 5 PM EDT on Easter Sunday, April 8.

(Oh, and this just in at the eleventh hour!  Goodies have arrived from Saskatchewan and New Zealand!!!  A package!  And a box!  Par Avion!  Also a postcard from Rebecca in the UK!!!  I will share… but not now because as I am writing this it is past my bedtime :))

Now, off you go to enjoy everyone’s picture book recommendations!  For those of you who celebrate, have a wonderful Easter, and everyone have a great weekend!  PPB bloggers, please add your post-specific link to the list below 🙂

Would You Read It Wednesday – The 34th Pitch – And Pitch Pick #7

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Batten down the hatches!  I’m about to blow you away with short-windedness!

(As you know, I’m up-to-my-ears busy this week – apparently that’s what it takes to get brevity out of me :))

So.  Right down to business!

It’s time for our March Pitch Pick.  Here is a little refresher, followed by the poll.  Please vote by Saturday and I’ll announce the winner Monday.

#1  Renee

Working Title: Doris And The Scaredy Cats
Age/Genre: Fiction PB ages 4+
The Pitch:  Intrigued by the herd of petrified cats that show up at her door with their little suitcases, Doris is determined to un-petrify her furry new housemates — despite her family’s pleas to send them away before she ends up a scaredy cat, too. Doris will either calm the cats’ jitters or make her family’s fear come true — or neither. 

#2  Miranda

Working Title:  Reef Stew
Age/Genre:  Rhyming Picture Book ages 4-8
The Pitch:  When a shipwreck destroys their reef, the shellfish grow selfish and every creature’s a crab.  Can Whale stir up happiness with a single piece of stony coral?  Filled with slurps, burps, and spicy sargassum, this quirky version of a classic tale will send ripples of laughter through any school of young guppies.

#3  Rebecca

Working Title:  Everett
Age/Genre:  YA Paranormal
The Pitch:  Ever since Bria Stone was a little girl, she has had nightmares about shadow-like monsters who claim they’re coming to get her. At age six, Bria had another dream, in which a man with glowing skin told her the monsters are real.  When Bria encounters this man – who claims his last name is Everett and that he has no first name – in real life after her nineteenth birthday party, she starts to wonder: if good dreams can come true, does that mean the bad ones can too?

#4  Terri

Working Title:  First Aide For First Grade
Age/Genre: PB
The Pitch:  Mrs Fox is teaching first aide to the class. Charlie doesn’t want to listen but his best friend is listening with both ears and it is a good thing. After the lesson, the boys run to the playground to play. Zip, Zap, Zing….and Ouch. Who will help Charlie when he is hurt at recess?

Which of these awesome pitches should go to Erin Molta for her critique?


<a href=”http://polldaddy.com/poll/6106547/”>Pitch Pick #7</a>
Now that you’ve voted for last month’s pick, let’s check out the first offering from this month!

Today’s pitch comes from Delores, who lives in Guelph, Ontario,  She is retired from the  insurance industry and working on her lifelong dream of writing for children and writing poetry.  Her first step in that direction was the creation of her blogs:  The Feathered Nest and Youngish.  Her next step is submitting her pitch 🙂

Working Title:  Dustin The Dragon
Age/Genre:  Early PB (3-6)
The Pitch:  April’s room is VERY dusty but what can you expect when a dust breathing dragon lives in your closet?  Too bad April’s mom doesn’t believe in dragons, that is, not until Dustin catches a cold.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Delores improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  Go ahead and send your pitch for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Delores is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!

For those of you on tenterhooks, Phyllis is currently in Italy, Australia, Vermont, and South Dakota, and possibly somewhere near Prince Edward Island as well.  I am looking forward to sharing more updates with you as they come in.

Ooh!  This just in – last minute addition!  Phyllis has had an awesome visit to Nicky in Australia!!!

Is Nicky an incredible artist or what?!

And that’s it!  Pretty short-winded considering everything we just covered!  Now, I’m off to day 2 of school visiting and looking forward to catching up with all of you, hopefully by July 🙂

Cori Doerrfeld Shares The Creation Of Her Picture Book Little Bunny Foo Foo! And Then Susanna Shares One Of Hers To Make Up For The Glitch!

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Welcome, everyone, to today’s very special treat!

You may remember Cori.  She did an interview and giveaway here in February 2011 (see Part 1 and Part 2.)  She is a talented author/illustrator who has illustrated multiple books, including two for Brooke Shields as well as the recent Seashore Baby and Snowflake Baby, but in the last year she has also published Penny Loves Pink and Little Bunny Foo Foo which she both wrote and illustrated.  I hope you will enjoy her entertaining tale of Little Bunny, which makes for perfect spring fun and a great Easter gift 🙂

Take it away, Cori!

All my stories find their origin in childhood. I am inspired by my own childhood, as well as the ones I’ve witnessed as a daycare teacher, nanny, and mother.  When I was little, I loved the bizarre, the unique, and even the scary.  I loved Stephen Gammel’s illustrations in Scary Stories, and I was a huge Tim Burton fan.  When I started creating stories and characters of my own, I was naturally drawn to similar themes.  At the daycare, we sang every children’s song known to man, and the one that always stuck out as odd to me was “Little Bunny Foo Foo”, especially the way my coworker sang it.  The traditional song turns the bunny into a goon, but my coworker always turned the bunny into a monster instead.  The children just loved the idea of a bunny transforming into a monster, and so did I. Images of a seemingly harmless bunny hopping through a forest kept creeping into my mind. What would she look like if she turned into a monster I wondered…

As both an illustrator and an author, I usually visualize a story before I write any text. Based on my initial thoughts, I’ll do a very rough thumbnail version of a book.  This way I can see right away how the art will flow one page to the next, as well as how to best break up the text.  My original version of “Little Bunny Foo Foo” was much darker and intended for an older audience.  

My husband and I attended several comic conventions a year to sell and promote our work, and this is where my initial version premiered.  We printed little paperback copies off the computer.  It was always a good seller, and kids seemed to like it too.  The violence was no worse than the Tom and Jerry cartoons so many of us grew up with.  When a publisher showed interest in the book however, I was asked if I could find a way to push the story even further and to tone down the manic, mallet wielding bunny.  The editor suggested that Bunny Foo Foo could use something softer to bop the mice, like an oven mitt.  It took me nearly a year to rework the story.  I struggled quite a bit at first.  I was not only attached to my original version, but I found it difficult to formulate just how I could push both myself and the song in a new direction.  The editor’s suggestion of an oven mitt was stuck in my head, and one day the idea just hit me all at once.  I find a lot of my story writing problems are solved this way.  If I just think on an issue long enough, eventually lightning will strike.  Obviously if Little Bunny Foo Foo is bopping mice with an oven mitt, it’s because they stole the cupcakes she had just finished preparing! 

I know many people liked the way Foo Foo bopped the mice due to random, unknown reasons in the original version, but I really liked the idea of telling one story with the text, and another with the illustrations.  In my finished, published version of Little Bunny Foo Foo, the text is only a slightly modified version of the classic song.  The illustrations however, reveal a lot more to the story; showing an increasingly frustrated rabbit simply trying to recollect her cupcakes.  This plot line gave me several opportunities to create fun little scenes where mice and birds collaborate to steal Foo’s cupcakes, as well as the chance to show why the Fairy meets her fate in the end.  

Little Bunny Foo Foo is my second self-authored title, and was therefore still a learning experience.  Every story, even once it is picked up by a publisher, goes through several transformations.  The end result is more of a team effort than I realized before becoming a published author.  An author must learn to balance input and requests from the publisher with maintaining the integrity of the original idea.  Mallets may become oven mitts, but sometimes cupcakes with sprinkles are the perfect way to sweeten a strange and disturbing bunny’s desire to scoop up field mice, and bop them on the head.

I hope you all enjoyed this glimpse into the creation of a picture book and will all feel inspired to go out and buy Foo Foo for your friends and relations! 🙂

However….

I realize it didn’t turn out to be quite what I promised…!

Chalk it up to Cori having a new baby and me being over-scheduled and both of us feeling time-crunched resulting in a slight miscommunication…  It turns out Little Bunny Foo Foo, since it’s based on the familiar rhyme, didn’t actually change text at all from pre- to post-published, so it’s not a good candidate for comparison.

Luckily, I know another writer… and I finagled my way into her files… 🙂

SO.  Since I want to deliver on my promise, I hope you will accept something of mine instead of something of Cori’s for now.  Cori has another book in the works that she thinks will be much better suited to this type of post, but since it’s not published yet, we’ll have to wait for that one.  Meanwhile, hopefully this will suffice:

I’m going to share the creation of Freight Train Trip with you, if that’s an okay substitute for Cori.  I chose it because most of my other books had such minor changes from my version to the published version that they wouldn’t be very interesting for this exercise.  But Freight Train… that’s another story 🙂

I got the idea for this story from my children and my nephews, but particularly from my nephew, Eli, who was going through a heavy train phase when this story came to mind.  I wrote it in rhyme because I wanted to capture the rhythm of the train.

Here is the original:                    And this is the published version:

Tooooo-Hooooo!
Chug.    Chug.
Freight train pulls out of the yard.               The freight train’s pulling from the yard.
Locomotive’s working hard.                        The locomotive’s working hard.
“Safe trip!” calls the stationmaster.             “Safe trip!” calls the stationmaster.
Chugga, chugga, train rolls faster.               Chugga chugga, the train rolls faster.
Locomotive in the lead
Changes gear and picks up speed.
Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga choo CHOO CHOOOO!
Clicka-tacka-clicka-tacka too HOO HOOOO!
Engine rushes down the track                      The engine rushes down the track
Ninety-seven cars in back                          with ninety-seven cars in back.
Full of lumber, grain and ore                      They’re full of lumber, toys, and more,
Headed for the Western Shore.                   and headed for the western shore.
                                                          Chugga chugga choo CHOO CHOOOO!
                                                          Clicka clack too HOO HOOO!
Down the line a crossing gate                     Down the line a crossing gate
Closes telling cars to wait.                         closes telling cars to wait.
Freight cars rumble.  Rails are humming.      Freight cars rumble.  Rails are humming.
Bells clang, “Look out!  Trains a-coming!”     Bells clang.  “Look out!  The train is coming!”
Locomotive thunders past.
Freight cars follow just as fast.
Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga choo CHOO CHOOOO!
Clicka-tacka-clicka-tacka too HOO HOOOO!
Engineer sees up ahead                             The engineer sees up ahead
Signal lights are flashing red.                      that signal lights are flashing red.
Has to stop his speeding train                     Racing toward him, running late,
‘Til the light turns green again.                    Is the eastbound six-oh-eight!
Switcher moves him to the side                   The engineer sees in a flash
So two trains will not collide.                      that trains are headed for a CRASH!
When the westbound track is clear,               Where, oh, where is Switchman Jack,
Puts his engine back in gear.                       who’s supposed to switch the track?
Railroad track begins to climb.                     TOOOO-HOOOO!  TOOOO-HOOOO!
Engine’s working double-time.                     The whistle wails.
Up the mountain, what a strain                    Hurry up and switch those rails!
For the long and heavy train!                      Just in time Jack flips the switch
When it clears the snowy peaks,                  Trains rush past without a hitch!
Down the other side it streaks.      Chugga chugga choo CHOO CHOOO! Clicka clacka too HOO HOOO!           
Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga choo CHOO CHOOOOO! 
Clicka-tacka-clicka-tacka too HOO HOOOOO!
Races toward its destination,                       The train speeds toward its destination
Slows and pulls into the station.                   It slows and pulls into the station.
Cargo haul is safely done.                           The cargo haul is safely done.
Journey’s over.  It’s been fun!                      Our journey’s over.  It’s been fun!
Chug.    Chug.                                          Chug.  Chug.  CHOOOOooooooooo!
CHOOOOooooooooooo!

(Text copyright Susanna Leonard Hill and Little Simon 2009 all rights reserved)

I tried VERY hard to get this lined up so you could see the changes easily.  It works on my preview.  I can only hope it comes out right on your view!  Please forgive that one tiny line of chugga chuggas after “trains rush past…”- it was supposed to be on two lines but just wouldn’t fit right.  (And if it doesn’t come out right, let me know, but I probably won’t have time to fix it until Thursday!)


So now.  What do we see?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller? (sorry, I couldn’t resist :))


The changes they asked for were:
1.  Make it more dramatic.
2.  Put in the articles.  (You know.  All the “the”s.)
3.  There was some disagreement as to how the chugga chuggas read.


They asked for more drama.  I gave them more drama.  Funny that the only critics of this book have said it’s too dramatic 🙂


As for the articles, I liked the rhythm better without them.  I fought for them.  But I was out-voted by the copy editor who convinced the editor that it wasn’t proper English without the articles.  “What about Sheep In A Jeep?” I said desperately, but alas, it was not to be and the articles went in.


We ended up changing the chugga chuggas so no one would stumble, although I confess when I read this aloud, I say it the original way, which makes sense to me, and sounds more train-like 🙂


So what do you guys think?  Is it helpful to see this?  Which version do you like better?


Having spent way too much time trying to get these columns to line up, I really hope you guys find this useful! 🙂  Please let me know.  And of course, if you have questions, fire away in the comments.


And now, I’m off to 2 days of intense school visiting (although I’m still planning to get Would You Read It up tomorrow… somehow… :)) so forgive me if I don’t get around your blogs as much as usual!  I’ll catch up eventually 🙂


(And, just so you know, in a couple days I’m going to pull some of the verses from the published version because I’m not really sure I’m allowed to post it like this, so learn from it while it’s up :))


Have a lovely day! 🙂



So Many Surprises!!! And Oh Susanna – How Many MSS For Agent Querying?

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Raise your hand if you’re happy it’s April!!!

April happens to be my favorite month.  The air is warmer and softer.  The light changes.  Nature is trying on all her new finery.  And some of my favorite people have birthdays this month 🙂

So in honor of April, I have surprises for you, my friends!  (And may I just say, I hope you all ate your Wheaties this morning because I have a lot to say – which I know you’ll find shocking since I’m normally such a model of succinctness :))

Surprise #1!

First, after much gnashing of teeth and rending of garments, I have managed the MAP OF MY DREAMS for Phyllis’s World Tour.  It is so cool that you will be amazed!  Here’s what you can do:

You can zoom out and see all the places in the world she’s been at one time, or zoom in so you can easily click on each marker.

You can change the view from map, to satellite, to hybrid, to terrain!

You can click on the individual markers and they will tell you who she visited in that spot, show a photo you can click to enlarge and clarify, give a short description of her visit, and include a link directly to the associated blog post (it says website which I couldn’t change but click on it and it will take you to the blog post.)  (Also, I could only attach one link per marker, so for a couple people who posted 2 or 3 times, I put the main post.)

And it has purple markers for the main tour and yellow markers for the school tour!

Check it out!  (The only annoying thing is the ad I can’t get rid of!)
http://www.zeemaps.com/pub?group=338173&x=-68.5547&y=20.6328&z=15

Here’s a screen shot that shows you the whole map without the ad 🙂

click HERE for interactive map

Seriously.  Is this a wonder or what???!!! 🙂  (and if anyone finds glitches, you must break it to me very gently because this took me a Very. Long. Time!)

Of course, it makes me notice all the empty areas, so if you know anyone in South America or Greenland or Turkey or such like who wants to join the tour, let me know 🙂

I know you will all want to try it out right away, but come right back, because more good stuff is coming!

In case you missed it over the weekend, Phyllis visited Rena in Alberta, Canada, (there was an enchanted castle and bull riding involved!) and one of Pam’s literacy groups in Atlanta, GA (very cute kids and Phyllis learned a lot about Dr. King, Ghandi, and Rosa Parks!)!  Pam will have more posts to come as Phyllis visits with other kids.

Surprise #2!

It’s been a while since the Valentines’ Contest, so what better way then a Fabulous Fun-Filled Contest to celebrate spring, and April, and writing for kids, and all the awesome April Birthdays (mine, my dad’s, my niece’s and my nephew’s, your friend and mine Renee’s of No Water River, and please, if anyone else celebrates this month let me know and I’ll add you to this celebrity list :))

Here are the rules:

Write a children’s story about a very creative or unique birthday celebration in 1-300 words!  (The 1 is for Cathy if she needs an extra challenge.. and Cathy? it also has to rhyme! :))

It may be prose or poetry, so those of you participating in Poetry Month can join in.  Those of you who are participating in the A To Z challenge may title it with anything you want to fit your letter of the day 🙂  Those of you who are participating in 12 X 12 will have your manuscript for the month!  And for those of you not participating in any of the above and feeling a little left out, this is your chance to be part of something far less time-consuming 🙂

Entries must be posted on your blog (or in the comment section of my contest blog post on April 21 if you don’t have a blog) between Saturday April 21 and 11:59 PM EDT Tuesday April 24.  Add your entry-specific link to the list that will go up with my special post that Saturday.  I will not post on Monday April 23 so the list will stay up.)  I’m still picking out prizes, but there will be prizes and they will be good and I will let you know when I decide what they are 🙂  (You are invited to suggest prizes if there’s something your little hearts especially desire :))  If there are fewer than 20 entries there will be one prize.  If there are more than 20 entries there will be 1st, 2nd, and 3rd prizes!  The number of entries will also determine the number of finalists that will be posted for you to vote on Monday April 30.  (I’m trying not to skip Would You Read It or Perfect Picture Books or overload you with extra posts, hence the wait til Monday the 30th!)  (And if more than 20 people comment that they have too much to do in April and won’t enter, I will move the contest to May, even though *sob, sniff* it will no longer be The Birthday Month!)

Surprise #3!

I have a very special extra post that will go up tomorrow!  (Yes, tomorrow, even though I usually don’t post on Tuesday – it was either that or stuff it into this already overly long post!)  But you’re going to want to see this one.  It is a guest post from the lovely Cori Doerrfeld in which she will share with us how she created her newest book, Little Bunny Foo Foo!  Original and published mss will be included so you can see the difference, as well as her first vision of the art and how it morphed into the final version!  It’s not often you get to see so much process, and Cori has been very kind to share, so I hope you’ll all find a little time tomorrow (or when you have a few minutes) to read it.

Now, to finish up this very long post (I always have so many things to share, and only 3 days a week to do it!) we have a quick Oh Susanna question.  (The inclusion of Oh Susanna isn’t a surprise on Monday, but the question is always a surprise, so it still counts :))

Carter asks, “How many submission-ready manuscripts should I have in my pocket before I begin querying agents?  I know which one I want to lead with, but I assume I should have a number of others for an interested agent to read when considering representation.”

I would say that, as with so many things in this business, a lot depends on the agent.  For some agents, one strong manuscript is all they need.  But I think most will want to see more, especially with picture books.  My answer would be, lead with your strongest manuscript and have 3 others waiting as back up – enough to show that you’ve got more than one story in you, and preferably a little bit of a range of your style (if you have a range of style.)  For example, if your lead manuscript is roll-on-the-floor funny, maybe one of your others should be a quieter/more thoughtful/different emotion type of story if you also write that kind of story.  However, that very much depends on your writing style – some authors produce funny, or emotional, or whatever every single time and that’s what they’re known for.  Basically, you want to have enough to show that the agent will hopefully like at least a couple.

What do the other writers out there think?  Would you recommend more than 3 back-ups?  Less?

Thank you all for sticking it out to the end of this post! 🙂  Please, have an extra donut on me!  See you tomorrow with Cori, and Wednesday with the March Pitch Pick and Delores’s Would You Read It pitch.  I hope you all have LOTS of fun with the map! 🙂

Perfect Picture Book Friday – Flap Your Wings

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Buenas Dias, Peeps!

(You didn’t know I was multi-lingual did you!  I am just always full of surprises.  Although, if we’re being honest, that is my complete knowledge of Spanish except for ola which I don’t know how to spell… and no, which is pretty much the same in any language… )

Where was I?

Oh, yes!  It’s PPBF!  How fun is that?  I declare this morning’s snack (since we never picked an official one) to be surreptitiously snitched Easter candy (you know, from those bags of jelly beans and chocolates that you bought yesterday and have stowed away in the closet ready to make Easter surprises for your kids, and that you really shouldn’t be raiding but it’s there, so maybe just a few…?  Or is that just me… :))

so pretty 🙂  also tasty 🙂

Got a handful of jelly beans?  Okay then, here we go!

Flap Your Wings
Written & Illustrated By: P.D. Eastman
Random House, 1969, Fiction
Suitable For: ages 3-8
Themes/Topics: assumptions, non-traditional family, unconditional love, responsibility
Opening: (this is actually the first three pages.)
“An egg lay in the path.
A boy came down the path.  He saw the egg.  “Someone might step on that egg and break it,” he said.
He looked around.
He saw flamingos and frogs, and turtles and alligators.  “Whose egg is this?” he called.  But no one answered.”

Brief Synopsis:  A little boy finds an egg.  He doesn’t want it to get damaged, so he looks around until he finds the nest and carefully puts it back.  When Mr. and Mrs. Bird come home, they are surprised to find an egg in their nest… it wasn’t there when they left!  But Mr. Bird says that if an egg is in their nest it must be their egg, so they must take care of it.  So they do… with very surprising results!

Links To Resources:  Ideas And Activities For Guided Reading, Incubation & Embryology Activities, use with An Egg Is Quiet (from PPBF link list), talk about what kind of animals, insects and reptiles lay eggs and how the eggs are the same and different.

Why I Like This Book:  This book is fun to read as a picture book, but is also an I Can Read type book that is very accessible to new readers.  The pictures are delightful – Mr. and Mrs. Bird’s expressions are very entertaining.  But I really love the story because it doesn’t go where you would expect.  It’s funny.  And it’s a great example of what agents, editors and reviewers mean when they talk about re-readability.  This book delighted me as a child, and delighted my children in their turn.  I’ve read it so many times that even now, years since I last read it to my kids, I can recite almost the whole book.  It’s fun every time 🙂

For the complete list of books with resources, please visit Perfect Picture Books.

I would like to take this opportunity to remind all you fabulous PPB bloggers (especially anyone who is new to PPBF) to please check the comprehensive alphabetical list on the PPB tab as well as the previous week’s list (because I am sometimes (ahem, like this week!) behind updating – it takes a while!) before selecting your book for the week.  Although we do have some double-ups, our goal is not to repeat books, but to always be adding new ones.

Also, and this is Very Important, the whole point of PPBs is the resources.  They don’t have to be online links.  Lots of you think up GREAT activities and discussion questions etc…  But the book you post must have at least one good resource of how to expand on its use at home and/or in the classroom in order to be added to the comprehensive list.  And it must be self-explanatory and applicable – by which I mean, saying a book can be used for finger rhymes or a math activity doesn’t help a reader who doesn’t know any.  That’s why they come to PPB – to find out exactly what they can do.  So please tell us which finger rhyme and how to do it, or what math activity etc.  Thank you so much!

I would also like to add that Tracy (aka A2Z Mommy) started writing up PPB every Friday in her local online newspaper, MyVeronaNJ!  For the past several weeks, she has chosen a few books she especially liked and added their titles and links to her article, so a number of you have been mentioned and linked!  Thank you so much, Tracy, for helping to get the word out to people who can really make use of the work we all do for PPBFs!!!  Here are links to the last couple articles:  March 23, March 16, March 9.

Finally before we all head off to check out today’s fantastically fun picture book offerings, I know you’ll want to be sure not to miss any of the high jinx and shenanigans that Phyllis’s amazing hosts have kindly and very creatively written up!

She had an Amazing Visit to Maine with Heather N (there’s a whole homeschool unit in this post!)

She visited Mrs. Hembree and her 2nd Grade Bulldog Readers in Seattle, WA on her School World Tour!

She was also Visited A Ghost Town In Washington with Heather B!!!

And you can catch up on anything you might have missed on the Official World Tour Page 🙂

AND!!!  Big News!!!  It looks like I’m finally going to get that map I wanted of the World Tour.  Stay Tuned!  Maybe Monday!!!

PPB bloggers, please add your post-specific link to the list below, and everyone, have a great weekend!  (and that’s no April Fool :))

Would You Read It Wednesday – The 33rd Pitch – And A Tour Update!

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Oh.  My.  Goodness!

Apparently, Phyllis realized that April Fools Day was sneaking up on her, so she decided to ramp up the visit speed.  My head is spinning!  In the two days since I last posted, she has popped up all over the place and you won’t want to miss any of her adventures or the truly awesome posts by her hosts even if it makes your head spin too!

I’m just going to make you a little list so it will be convenient 🙂

Phyllis Arrived In Maine to visit with Heather N. and her family.  More to come…

Phyllis Visited The Standing Stones at Avebury in the UK with Rebecca… and her 7 children! (These are 2 separate and different links, and the second one has video reviews by Rebecca’s adorable, British-accented kids!)

Phyllis with Rebecca’s clan at Avebury, UK

Phyllis Arrived In New Zealand to stay with Diane.

Phyllis Toured Auckland With Diane.

Phyllis in New Zealand!

Phyllis Visited The Dixon Kids in Clovis, CA.

Phyllis Visited Knoxville, TN with Donna.

Phyllis sits in with The Rowing Man 🙂

Phyllis Visited With Mrs. Kistler and the ’49ers in San Antonio, TX before heading out on her School World Tour – next stop Washington!

Phyllis enjoys recess with The ’49ers!

and last but not least, Phyllis Hangs Out In Windsor, Ontario (with Catherine) and Phyllis Visits With Heather B in Washington! (posts going up today!)

AND, if that wasn’t enough to make you dizzy, she is currently headed for Vermont, another location in Washington, Australia, and Birmingham UK, AND we are still waiting for her to show up in Italy… apparently she either took an undisclosed side trip or a very long nap somewhere… we’re hoping she’ll emerge at some point!

That was in the last 2 days!  Hence the head spinning!

Anyone else ready for a nap?  At least it’s Wednesday and we have chocolate 🙂

Now then, onto our Would You Read It!

Today’s pitch comes to us from Terri, who has been an elementary school nurse as well as a pediatric/neonatal nurse for over 34 years and is currently working on acquiring and revamping an old ambulance to bring on school visits so kids can learn what equipment is in an ambulance and what happens when paramedics arrive.  It just so happens to go along with her book ideas.

Working Title:  First Aide For First Grade
Age/Genre: PB
The Pitch:  Mrs Fox is teaching first aide to the class. Charlie doesn’t want to listen but his best friend is listening with both ears and it is a good thing. After the lesson, the boys run to the playground to play. Zip, Zap, Zing….and Ouch. Who will help Charlie when he is hurt at recess?

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Terri improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  Go ahead and send your pitch for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Terri is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!
And I am going to try to catch up with that globe-trotting groundhog… after my nap 🙂