Would You Read It Wednesday – The 24th Pitch

I think it’s a two-cups-of-hot-chocolate morning, my friends!

With whipped cream.

And a little cocoa sprinkled on top to look pretty.

Because look at all the happiness we have to share this morning!

First, through some unknown cosmic whirlijig (I just made that up because it sounds good and it looks good :)) I am being featured on 5 different blogs in the space of a week!  Normally I am not that popular.  I think this has to do with Phyllis 🙂  Who wants you to remember what’s coming next week and how exceptional she looks in her tiara, so here:

This is me, Phyllis, wearing the tiara that the Grace Church preschoolers made me last year, and the scarf Aunt Leslie made me to match my first book.  Kind of takes your breath away, don’t it? 🙂

Because most of the bloggers are my very good friends, I do hope you will go visit them.  (Also, there could be a book in it for you :))

Here’s the run-down in case you’re interested:

Yesterday (Tuesday Jan. 24):  Clarbojahn’s Blog: Part 2 of our interview and a giveaway of a hard cover copy of Punxsutawney Phyllis.
Today (Wed. Jan. 25):  Sylvia Ramsey’s Blog, Thoughtful Reflections.  This one I’m not too familiar with. I wrote the interview for her at the beginning of September so it will be all new to me too! 🙂
Tomorrow (Thurs. Jan. 26): Corey Schwartz’s Blog, Thing 1 and Thing 2.  This one is all about where the idea for Phyllis came from and will be in two parts.  I’m not sure yet when part 2 will be.
Friday Jan. 27:  Leigh Covington’s Blog.  This one is a (brief!) interview with Phyllis herself!  She emerged from her burrow just because she likes Leigh.  There will be a giveaway of a hard cover copy of Punxsutawney Phyllis here too!
Sat. Jan. 28: Iza Trapani’s Blog, In And Out Of My Studio.  A chat with one of my favorite author/illustrators who may or may not be appearing on this blog soon (I could tell you, but then it wouldn’t be a secret :))  There will be a giveaway of a hardcover copy of Punxsutawney Phyllis on this one, too!

I don’t know Sylvia, but all the others are wonderful writers with great blogs.  I hope you will do them the favor of a visit!

Next, you still have today to comment on Monday’s Author/Illustrator Interview with Michael Garland for a chance at one of his books!  If you haven’t read the interview and commented yet, hop on over after you finish Would You Read It and leave your thoughts for today’s participant.

Which brings me to today’s participant, the lovely Christie whom you’ve already met thrice before – she’s that prolific!

Here we go!

Working Title:  Solomon’s Raisin Farm
Age/Genre:  PB
The Pitch:  Last year, Solomon was finally old enough to help with the harvesting of the raisins, but it rained. This year, he prays for no rain so the crops won’t get ruined and the family can make money at the festival. Will the rain hold off this year so Solomon can finally prove to his family that he really is old enough to help out?

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Christie improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  Pitches are currently queued through March 14, but there are lots of openings after that, so send your pitch for a chance to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Christie is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!
Please join us Friday for Perfect Picture Books!  And the winner of the Michael Garland book giveaway!

37 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday – The 24th Pitch

  1. Catherine Johnson says:

    Phyllis looks awesome! What a fab week for Phyllis. Will get round them somehow. I have a ? and a pitch for you. I'll send them later 🙂

    This pitch is lacking a hook for kids really. I can see how adults would relate to it, but I think it needs a stronger motive than an adult one. Sorry!

  2. theresamilstein says:

    You're the popular one, Susanna! I'll have to do a visit or two.

    I like the idea of the book. Uncertainty about rain definitely creates tension. One of my favorite books is Come On Rain!

  3. Tracy Bermeo says:

    Susanna- nice work this week! How excellent for you. I will have to check out these blogs! With GroundHog day coming I'd hate to miss them.
    As for the pitch, I'm a maybe. I think the beginning is good but I feel as though there might be other ways in which Solomon can prove to his family that he's old enough to help out. Maybe the rain last year gives him the opportunity to think beyond the raisin harvest. He can be creative and inventive in his thinking and with a picture book you can really have some fun with his ideas.

  4. Joanna Marple says:

    Wow, what a week for you and Phyllis. Thanks for letting us know so we can check out all these blogs!

    The pitch would be a no for me too, I'm afraid. Don't feel hooked, though living surrounded by vineyards, I was kind of intrigued by the idea of there being raisins on the vines 🙂

  5. Dede Perkins says:

    Love Phyllis' tiara, and congrats on the blog features, Susanna!

    About Christie's pitch, I'd like to see more details…a hook or two, something specific that makes me wonder just how Solomon will prove he's old enough to harvest the raisins. While praying is good, taking matters into his own hands would be even better.

  6. Marcie colleen says:

    You look fab, Phyllis! 🙂 And congrats, Susanna (& Phyllis) on all of the guest blogs this week. You rock!

    As for the pitch, I was intrigued by the idea of a raisin farm (instead of a grape farm). I also like the idea of a kid having to wait til he is a certain age…I think kids always feel like they are in that waiting game. But the pitch itself lacked a hook for me. I would love to hear about his plan on how to prove himself with or without rain this year.

  7. Tiltonph says:

    Loved Clar's and Sylvia's interview with you. Great photo of Phyllis (my mother's name.)

    Pitch: Don't think you need to mention rain twice in pitch. Would like to see more action. Is this magical –raisins growing on vines? Would like to know a little more.

  8. Leigh Covington says:

    Oh my goodness Susanna – you and Phyllis are super popular this week! I love it! And I'm looking forward to sharing Phyllis' interview and giveaway! So fun!

    As for the pitch… I don't know. *cringe* I hate to say that, but it's a maybe. It doesn't hold a lot of suspense or excitement for me. I think there is a cute idea behind it though. Maybe by giving me a stronger reason as to “why” this would be so exciting, would help. Just an idea. 🙂

  9. Laura Marcella says:

    Solomon's Raisin Farm sounds really cute! I'd read it for sure. It'd be cool to find out more about raisins, too.

    Congrats on all your blog features, Susanna! I'll definitely have to check out those blogs. Hope you're having a great week!

  10. Clarike Bowman-Jahn says:

    Thanks for the shout out! You are the awesome guest so many places! 🙂 I'll check out these other blogs and interviews. So interesting.

    But the pitch- not so much. It just didn't hack it for me. As some of the other comments said there is no hook. The idea of needing to prove he's old enough to help can be brought out in other ways than needing an out ward event such as rain to happen. And praying in itself is a passive quality not active. Sorry. Good luck with revising it. 🙂

  11. Renee LaTulippe says:

    I would have to say no. This type of story isn't my cup of tea in the first place, but the pitch isn't helping to hook me in. The conflict seems a bit watery, and the pitch itself could be tightened up to eliminate repetition.

    I have a general question about pitches: Should they always end with a question? I'm not a fan of the question, but if that's how they are usually written, it would be good to know!

    (And Susanna, congrats on winning the popularity contest this week! We're going to have to put our heads together and get you on at NWR — I'm determined!)

  12. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Thanks for your comments for Christie, Renee (and no worries about the pun – I didn't even catch it until you said it :)) No, I don't think pitches have to, or necessarily should, end with a question. Some do and some don't. And I don't think it's me winning the popularity contest – if you'll notice, there's a common theme and that's Phyllis!

  13. Jane Buttery says:

    There are many farm stories out there and I've never heard of a raisin farm! You don't harvest them; you dry grapes. So really Solomon must have a vineyard or a raisin processing factory. The idea is odd, put this way; it seems like the wrong title and there's no sense of what activities are involved to encourage me to read it.
    Sorry.

  14. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Thanks, Coleen, I'm excited! And thanks for your comment for Christie. I'm still thinking. How about, A writer and mom am I? Or, A house full of happy sunshine? No? I guess we're back to Oh, man, I have to think! 🙂

  15. Darshana says:

    Pitch – sorry I would have to say no right now. The pitch needs to be tighter. What is the hook? From the pitch I can't tell what type of book is it sweet-sentimental, any humor, dramatic.

  16. Stacy S. Jensen says:

    From the pitch, I feel like rain/weather is the main character. The story isn't dependent on Solomon proving himself — it all depends on the rain. I think you could drop both or at least one finally. Glad to see you and Phyllis all over the web.

  17. Christie Wild says:

    Thanks everyone for your comments. The pitch was written a while back. I've since revised the story. It's not about his age anymore. But the looming weather of rain is the antagonist.

    How's this:

    Solomon and his whole family work hard to make raisins each year. But will the rain hold off long enough so the crops aren't ruined? Solomon and his cousins are planning something big to celebrate the sunny days.

  18. Erik The Great says:

    Phyllis is SO fashionable! I read Ms. Wild's newer pitch too. I like the newer one better than the older one. I really like the first two sentences in the new pitch and I think the third sentence should be more about the problem if the rain comes. I like the story idea!

  19. Christie Wild says:

    NEW PITCH:
    Solomon and his whole family work together to make raisins. This year they work harder than ever before as they race against the elements during the harvesting season. If it rains, they may not get a Thanksgiving turkey, Christmas candy, or even new shoes.

  20. Christie Wild says:

    NEW PITCH:
    Solomon and his whole family work together to make raisins. This year they work harder than ever before as they race against the elements during the harvesting season. If it rains, they may not get a Thanksgiving turkey, Christmas candy, or even new shoes.

  21. Jennifer Young says:

    Congrats on your Punxsutawney Phyllis and the popularity contest.
    As for the pitch, I'd read it because I enjoy farm related stories -haven't read on about raisins yet. Good luck Chrisite

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