Would You Read It Wednesday – The 29th Pitch

OK.  How Twilight Zone is it that the 29th pitch is occurring on that rarest of days, February 29th?  *hums Twilight Zone music* Do you have chills?

If you don’t have chills from that, you’ll get them from marveling over the extreme succinctness of my post today – hitherto unheard of brevity 🙂  Grab your Something Chocolate and let’s get right down to Would You Read It!

Today’s pitch comes to us from Jennifer.  No, not the same Jennifer as last week.  That was Jennifer R.  This is Jennifer Y 🙂

Jennifer was born and raised in southern Connecticut and settled down in south Jersey.  She loves quotes.  One of her favorites is from The Edge – “What one man can do, another can do.”  You can visit her blog and like her on Face Book 🙂

Working Title:  Planet Vacation
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch:  Rose takes a vacation to visit the planets.  Will she get a chance to rollerblade on the rings of Saturn and scuba dive for starfish on Jupiter or will her trip be nothing like she dreamed?

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Jennifer improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  Go ahead and send your pitch for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Jennifer is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!

And I hope you are all suitably impressed by my succinctness 🙂  See you Friday – boy do I have a fantastic book to share with you!

87 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday – The 29th Pitch

  1. Julie Hedlund says:

    It's a good concept, but I'd love to understand more about what the conflict is in the story. It's hard to get a sense of the story arc from the pitch.

    That said, the idea of a vacation in space is awesome and one my kiddos would love.

  2. Penny Klostermann says:

    Yes…I have felt sorry for Pluto for years. He really got ripped off. All those years…being “one of the guys” and then being demoted to a dwarf planet. Not fair! Not fair at all!

  3. Jennifer Rumberger says:

    Yes, I would definitely read it. I love books about outer space. I'm wondering if the ending should be a little more specific, what was she dreaming would happen or what conflict might arise?

  4. Denise Bruce says:

    I like it 🙂 Rilla would definitely want to read this book 🙂 esp with her middle name in it lol.. but I really do love the sounds of this pitch 🙂

  5. Angela Brown says:

    My gut instinct is a yes, but that's immediately followed by the question of, “is there something that could possibly cause things not to go as she'd dreamed?” If so, what is that thing?

  6. Dede Perkins says:

    Hi Jennifer – I'm with Wendy on this one. I love the idea, but couldn't tell if the story will be a rollicking fantasy or a lesson about “real life” on the planets. That said, either way could work! Good luck with this…:)

  7. Jrzoch says:

    Yes, I would, but am biased as I have already! I would like to make 2 comments though, that would deter me from picking it up based on the pitch alone: The first sentence is somewhat flat (maybe substitute 'visit' with a more active verb?) and the word 'nothing' in the second sentence brings negativity (pick it up with something like 'exactly')

  8. HappyBirthdayAuthor says:

    Jennifer — I am sorry but I do not have anything to add beyond what has been mentioned already. But, I do want to commend you for putting your pitch/idea out there for everyone to critique. Good luck with this idea!

  9. Tracy Bermeo says:

    I'm just loving the phrase: hitherto unheard of brevity! Fantastic!

    As for the pitch- I love the idea of visiting planets and exploring what might be out there- especially for kids. (We were at the museum of air and space last week and there's a lot to marvel over in that place) The pitch itself needs a little more drama and excitement, so while I like the concept, based on the pitch alone I'm a maybe. Add a little more adventure and I'm in!
    A2ZMommy and What’s In Between

  10. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    Hope it's not too late to comment on this pitch. 🙂
    I would definitely pick up this book and read it…a trip to outer space…what fun!!!! Rollerblade on the rings of Saturn? Awesome illustration flashes into my mind. 🙂 Great story, Jennifer. Kids will love it!

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