Would You Read It Wednesday – The 43rd Pitch, And The May Pitch Pick!

IT’S WEDNESDAY!!!  Grab a chocolate donut and a cup of coffee and pull up your chair 🙂

Here on Blueberry Hill, things have settled down a bit.  The dogs and I are stepping out avec leashes so as to keep the local baby animal population safe,

and my brother is up and hobbling avec crutches… and trying to figure out if he can still run the NYC marathon in November 🙂  (No pictures of him – they might scare you :))

So now that the status quo has been restored, I have time to wonder about important things like whether I should get another bottle of apple shampoo when this one runs out or switch to strawberry for summer, and what’s the weirdest fortune you’ve ever gotten in a fortune cookie?  I asked that on FB yesterday, because we had fortune cookies last Friday and my daughter’s friend got “When the opportunity comes, pick the first one from the right” which reminded me of the time (about 25 years ago :)) when my sister got one that said, “Better an egg today then a hen tomorrow”… but no one shared any, so now I think I’m the only one who reads and remembers my fortunes.  Feel free to remedy that situation in the comments 🙂

But I digress…

Let’s get down to business, shall we? 🙂  It’s time for the May Pitch Pick.  As always, we had great pitches and it’s going to be a tough choice, especially because there were five Wednesdays in May!

To refresh your memory, here they are:

#1  Darshana

Title: Jay’s Big Day
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
Pitch: Jay’s super-sniffer dashes his dreams of becoming a Police Bird, but his special talent opens up another heroic opportunity.

#2  Rena

Working Title:  Death Of Sleeping Beauty
Age/Genre:  MG Fantasy
The Pitch:  Alivia Fair stumbles upon a seemingly harmless book that is full of gruesome fairy tales. Now the book is missing and strange things begin to happen. She is cursed by a man with a blue beard and finds herself trapped inside an enchanted castle, in which she comes face-to-face with the legendary, Sleeping Beauty. Too bad Alivia is destined to kill her, but with a little help Alivia might be able to stop the DEATH OF SLEEPING BEAUTY.

#3  Jarm

Working Title:  Waiting For An Idea
Age/Genre:  PB (ages 6-11)
The Pitch:  Jerry is waiting for an idea to come.  He walks his dog, swings in his backyard, and even goes inside for milk and cookies. hoping to coax one into his head.  But, alas, it’s not until he opens Aunt Polly’s gift that an idea… well… an avalanche of ideas, spill forth!

#4  Elizabeth

Working Title: Magnificent
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch:  When the synchronized swimming Savanna Belles lose their watering hole to drought, the troop of elephant calves decide ballet is the perfect way to make them feel magnificent once again. Facing the challenges of trunk-tickling ants, loss of weightlessness, and the scarcity of tutus, can the girls tame the doubtful roars, hisses and cackles of the their wild friends, proving that they really can be magnificent ballerinas? Follow the tutued journey of these silly mammals as they sashay, leap and plié their way into even the wildest of hearts.

#5 Tina

Working Title:  Dewey Bookworm Takes The Stage
Age/Genre:  Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch:  What if a bookworm doesn’t like books?  Tree leaves taste better than book leaves.  Dewey Bookworm wants to join the circus.  Will other book-eating creatures change his mind?
So please vote for your favorite!  The poll will be up from now until Thursday June 7 at 11:59 PM EDT.  Then the winner’s pitch will go to editor Erin Molta for critique and comment!
And now that we’ve got that taken care of, it’s time for today’s pitch, which comes to us from the lovely Laura who says, “I’ve finally returned late in life to what I always wanted to do – write and illustrate for children  (unemployment will do that to you). I am a former school principal, and a pastor’s wife, but my favorite occupation when not at the computer or drawing board is being a grandma to my four grandchildren. I’m enjoying all the wonderful encouragement from the professionals like Susanna and the 12×12 writing group, it makes it easy to dream that we can be published one day. Thanks for reading my pitch and for all your input.”  You can visit her blog HERE.
Working Title:  Uncle Larry
Age/Genre:  PB
The Pitch:  A true story about Uncle Larry, a special child/adult who grew up on a farm, trained and loved animals, liked to play and work, got into mischief, and taught us how to love someone a little different by loving everyone himself.
So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Laura improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in August, so you have time to polish 🙂 for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Laura is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!

79 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday – The 43rd Pitch, And The May Pitch Pick!

  1. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Thanks for your very helpful comments, Carrie!

    Carrie Finison (unregistered) wrote, in response to Laura Anne Miller (unregistered):

    Hi Laura-

    I'm a maybe on this one because it doesn't feel like there is enough drama in the story to keep my kids' attention. I think your rewrite is going in the right direction, but there needs to be a little more content about what is the conflict in the story for Larry. Is it that he is not allowed to attend school? Or is it just living in a world that is unaccepting of differences? And what must he do he overcome that conflict? (Maybe it's find a place where he is accepted — the family farm.)
    If this is a true story, I would also look at some picture book biographies and how the pitches for them are written because they may differ slightly from fictional stories where everything can be tied up in a neat little package.

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  2. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Thanks, Rena. Very helpful!

    Rena J. Traxel (unregistered) wrote, in response to Laura Anne Miller (unregistered):

    I do want to know how Larry communicates since he is nearly non-verbal perhaps give an example. I think you can take out “he loved school, but was banned from attending” because it's extra information that an editor/reader can find out when reading the pb. I like the example of “hot dog roast over the chicken coop” and want to know how that turned out and also it made me giggle. I'm a maybe. I like the concept and I want to know more about Larry but the title does not grab me.

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  3. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Of course there are cinnamon rolls – help yourself 🙂 Thanks for your comment for Laura. I'll look forward to your vote. And I'm almost afraid to ask how you know it was the same plate with washed off jello – was it wet? Eww!

  4. Stina Lindenblatt says:

    I'm not even sure what the fortune means 😛

    The new version of the pitch is better. I'm not sure if the topic is better for a MG book verses a PB. There's so much more you could do with it as a MG story. As long as the main character is a kid and not Uncle Larry.

  5. Penny Klostermann says:

    I'm late to the party! I've been traveling today…but not to the land of fortune cookies…more like tortillas & sopapillas :•) Alas, I have no exciting fortune cookie stories!

    I voted for one of those great pitches and read your pitch, Laura. I, also, read through the comments & I agree that the story sounds like it could be just wonderful, but the pitch needs clarification.

  6. Iza says:

    Glad your brother is doing better, Susanna, and thanks for saving the baby animals! I would be very much interested in reading Laura's story and the new pitch is much improved, but now I feel it could be more concise, without extraneous info.

  7. Laura Anne Miller says:

    Thank you Stina, I've never tried a MG story. I'm so new to this PB seems a little less scary….but then again, I'm always having to cut-cut-cut perhaps MG would serve better. Thanks for the thought.

  8. Laura Anne Miller says:

    Joanna, sorry I somehow missed your comment yesterday. Thank you for the insight – I will work on making a connection between the kids and Unc Larry – and identifying the problem. Thanks.

  9. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Thanks for your very helpful comments for Laura, Iza, and for your kind thoughts for my brother. The girls are not happy at living the leashed life – you should see their accusing faces when I hook them up to go out – but too bad for them. There will be no baby animal terrorizing on my watch! 🙂

  10. Tiltonph says:

    I'm still trying to catch up. Sorry I'm late. Voted for a pitch. Yes, I really like the story idea. But, it feels like one long run-on sentence. I would break it up. Had to read the last sentence twice to get what she meant. But, I absolutely love her story idea and would like to be first in line to review it when it's published.

  11. Julie says:

    Sorry about your brother's accident, but I'm glad he's on the mend! I agree with everyone that Laura's pitch has a lot of potential, but needs to include more details. Best of luck Laura!

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