Would You Read It Wednesday – The 45th Pitch Plus Several Tidbits :)

I have lots to share today, but I’ll try to be brief 🙂

First, I’m so glad everyone enjoyed Joanna’s post.  It was terrific, wasn’t it?  Let’s all give her a round of applause by way of thanks! 🙂  clapclapclapclapclapclapclap!  Also, I don’t think a shower of confetti is out of line 🙂

Second, I am SO excited for the self-publishing mini-series!  This is because I get to read everything coming in ahead of time, so I already know how great it’s going to be and I just can’t wait to share it with you all! 🙂

Third, in the midst of all the busy-ness around here, it had slipped my mind that we were going to have a guest post with the one and only Erin Molta where she answers questions sent in by you!  Luckily she sent me the answers yesterday, which reminded me 🙂  Due to the fabulous mini-series, I don’t have room to fit that post into June unless you all want to turn on your computers on the weekend, so I think that post will go up on Monday July 9.  Mark your calendars! – it’s great!

Fourth, in case you hadn’t realized it yet, I’m just a little bit nuts 🙂  This is obvious because, in the midst of all the afore-mentioned busy-ness, I’ve decided it’s necessary to work on a new secret project which turns out to be very time-consuming.  More on that if and when I succeed with it, but don’t hold your breath 🙂

Speaking of which, I’m a little out of breath after telling you all that!

But now it’s time for Would You Read It, so make sure your Something Chocolate is handy and have a look-see at what we’ve got here.

Today’s pitch comes to us from the Habitual Rhymer herself, Lori Degman!  Lori teaches deaf/hard of hearing children by day and writes picture books by night, weekend and school holidays.  Her picture book 1 Zany Zoo was the winner of the 2008 Cheerios New Author Contest and was published by Simon & Schuster in 2010.  It received the Gold-Level Mother’s Choice Award in 2012 and has been nominated for the 2012-2013 South Carolina Book Award.

You can find her in all these places!

Here is her pitch:

Working Title:  These Little Piggies
Age/Genre: Rhyming Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch:  In this Mother Goose mash-up, five little piggies are living happily in a shoe until a callous old woman forces her way in and turns their lives head over tails.  The piggies decide to set a trap for the old woman so, the first little piggy goes to market… the second little piggy stays home…  Will they succeed in giving the old coot the boot?

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Lori improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in August, so you have time to polish 🙂 for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Lori is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  And I am looking forward to seeing you all on Friday for the first up in our self-publsihing mini-series, Suzanne McGovern! 🙂

99 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday – The 45th Pitch Plus Several Tidbits :)

  1. Darshana says:

    Hi Lori, Yes I would read this. My favorites are the “mother goose mash-up” and the “give the old coot the boot”. It was Tamson Watson's post on 12×12 that mentioned not to use questions in a pitch. I think your title could be a little more zippy to reflect the true craziness, fun of your story.

  2. Cathy Mealey says:

    I love the pitch! And I hope the little old woman is happily paired off with her 'sole'-mate in the end!

    Best of luck with the super secret something Suzanna! (Say that six times fast!)

  3. Ldegman says:

    Thanks, Darshana! My sister said the same thing about the title and you're both right – it's pretty boring! It's funny, I'm usually pretty good at titles but I haven't been able to come up with a good one yet. I think I'll rework the question too.

  4. Ldegman says:

    Great pun, Cathy! I may just have to figure out who her sole-mate would be. Maybe Peter the pumpkin eater – she can move from a shoe into a pumpkin 🙂

  5. Tiltonph says:

    Great pitch Lori. I love it. It's tight, and funny. My only suggestion would be to take out the word “so” in the second sentence and put a period. The first little piggy… second little piggy stand alone. Yes, I would read it!

    Super secret something — wait a minute, if you don't succeed we'll never know? I know, you're taking pole dancing lessons as research for a book! 🙂

  6. Carrie Finison says:

    Hi Lori-
    I love your idea! I would definitely read it. I enjoy fractured fairy tales.

    I thought the pitch was good. The first sentence was stronger than the second. I think I'd get rid of the rhetorical question, and maybe make the sentences shorter.

    Also, I agree the title could be stronger. How about: The Little Piggies Who Lived in a Shoe
    I'm not great with titles…

    Some suggestions below:
    In this Mother Goose mash-up, five little piggies live happily in a shoe. But when a callous old woman barges in and turns their lives snout over tails, the piggies must set a trap to give the old coot the boot.

  7. TracyBermeo says:

    I would totally read this! It seems like a great piece to read out loud and while I”m sure the piggies will be successful in getting the callous woman (I love the pun) out, I just can't wait to see how they do it. Excellent!

  8. Tina DC Hayes says:

    Susanna, Good luck with your secret project! Can't wait to hear all about it when you finish. 🙂

    It's a maybe on the pitch. It sounds like an interesting children's book, but I'd like to know what is going to set it apart from the nursery rhyme.

  9. Lj Mozdzierz says:

    Yes, Lori's pitch did spike my interest in this story.
    I like the idea of a mash-up. It shouts “humor” to come.
    The closing line, “Will they succeed in giving the old coot the boot?” has me curious what the piggies will do to achieve this.
    Also, like the rhyme in that line.

  10. Ldegman says:

    Thanks for the input, Tina! You're right – you can write a good pitch but you have to have the goods to back it up. Hopefully I do 🙂

  11. Ldegman says:

    Thanks, Lori! You're the second person to mention being curious about how they give her the boot. I better make sure it's clever enough to pay off! Time to edit 🙂

  12. Alayne Kay Christian says:

    I would read it. It caught my attention, made me smile, and left me curious. It sounds like a clever mashing up of Mother Goose. So, not only am I curious to learn if the old coot gets the boot, I am also curious to see the other clever ways Mother Goose characters and stories get mashed-up.

  13. Reena Jacobs says:

    I would read this one. The familiarity draws me in, but having a plot behind an old rhyme really does the trick. Plus, the style presented in the pitch gives me the impression the story will be a lot of fun and will possibly put new twists on old cliches.

  14. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    That is a great sentence, isn't it?! Thanks for commenting Tracy!

    Tracy Campbell wrote, in response to Ldegman:

    I cracked up when I read the last line, “Will they succeed in giving the old coot the boot?” The last sentence did it for me. I'd love to read it.

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  15. Reena Jacobs says:

    I would read this one. The familiarity draws me in, but having a plot behind an old rhyme really does the trick. Plus, the style presented in the pitch gives me the impression the story will be a lot of fun and will possibly put new twists on old cliches.

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