Would You Read It Wednesday – The 47th Pitch And Then Some!

Hola, my friends! and Happy Fourth of July!!!

Thank you all for your patience while I was on vacation!  I missed you all dreadfully!

There is nothing like a week away from your desk to make you realize just how fast you can get utterly and completely behind, but being swamped upon return was totally worth 7 days of sun and sand, wind and waves, frisbee and family dinners and flashlight tag and feeding ducklings off the dock, Madagascar III on the only rainy afternoon and marshmallows roasted over a very sketchy-looking grill 🙂  Sometimes I’m really not sure there’s anywhere on earth as beautiful as Nantucket…

… but then I get home, and it’s so beautiful here too 🙂

… and I have two little friends who are very glad we’re back 🙂  Woof 🙂

And I am glad to see you all again!

Before we get to our pitch today, I want to remind anyone who hasn’t had a chance yet to please take a minute and check out the self-publishing mini-series.  Suzanne McGovern, Vivian Kirkfield, Patrick Milne, and Rita Borg generously shared a wealth of hard-won wisdom about their experiences self-publishing, and even more generously donated books for giveaways which you can still qualify for by commenting before Thursday July 5 at 11:59 PM EDT!

Now then, grab your Something Chocolate and get ready for Would You Read It! 🙂

Today’s pitch comes to us from Carrie.  She says, I worked in educational software publishing for about 10 years, and wrote content (mostly nonfiction) for children as part of my job. It was wonderful and creative but left me little time or energy for my own writing. Like many parents, my real writing journey began when my son was born and I started reading to him. I started trying to write what I was reading to him, mostly picture books and poetry in magazines like Babybug. I committed myself to practicing as much as I could, took some classes, read some books, and started to submit some of my work to magazines. Four years later, my poems have appeared (or are forthcoming) in Babybug, Ladybug, and High Five magazines. I feel lucky to have found some fabulous critique groups and supportive communities like the 12×12 group that are helping me grow as a writer in so many ways.  Please pop over and visit her website 🙂

Working Title: Friendly Sam, The Ice Cream Man
Age/Genre:  Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch:  Sam loves dishing out ice cream to his favorite customers at the park each afternoon. But when a rival ice cream truck shows up on ‘his’ corner, Sam must find a way to out-sing, out-scoop, and out-serve the competition to keep his customers — and himself — happy.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Carrie improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in August, so you have time to polish 🙂 for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Carrie is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!
And I am looking forward to Friday, the inaugural day of Summer Short & Sweets!!!  Are we going to have fun or what?!  I am SO tempted to show you the gorgeous SS&S badge that the awesomely talented Loni Edwards has made for us… SO TEMPTED!  But I will restrain myself (and by restrain myself I mean will someone please tie my hands behind my back!)
So tune in Friday – same bat time, same bat channel!!! 🙂

85 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday – The 47th Pitch And Then Some!

  1. Rita says:

    I would read it not only because the book is about my favorite dessert:ice cream but I want to know how he resolves his problem.

  2. Iza says:

    So glad you had a lovely vacation, Susanna!
    I think the pitch sounds really good and I am curious what kind of antics will prevail. I especially love the “out-sing, out-scoop and out-serve part.”

  3. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Thanks for your comment, Rita! 🙂 I confess I am also an ice cream lover. There's a terrific restaurant near us that serves a dessert called Cafe Lejois (I'm pretty sure I misspelled that horribly) which is REALLY GOOD coffee ice cream drizzled with caramel and fudge sauce, topped with whipped cream and toasted almonds… Mmm! Maybe I'll have ice cream for breakfast 🙂

  4. This Kid Reviews Bks says:

    Welcome back to the blog-iverse! I am glad you liked your vacation! I like the idea of the pitch. But is the other ice-cream man mean or is he just another competitor? I like the singing part of being an ice cream guy.

  5. Jess says:

    Ice cream and singing??? I'm in! A definite yes from me 🙂 Thanks for sharing those vacation pics~ it looks beautiful there (and at your home, too!).

  6. Ldegman says:

    Susanna, I'd like to go on vacation at your house – it looks beautiful!!

    I'd definitely read this! I love “out-sing, out-scoop and out-serve”!! Just imagine the illustrations! And what kid doesn't get excited by the sound of the ice cream truck? I don't think the title lives up to the story though. I'd jazz it up a bit. Well done!

  7. Robyn Campbell says:

    Welcome home, Oh Susanna! *I'm strumming the banjo right this minute*:-) Nantucket looks beautiful. But is it as beautiful as my home town, Key Largo? I think not! If I weren't so busy and if you weren't so busy, we'd have a “tête à tête”. *wink*

    Carrie, looks great to me. I would definitely read it. Is it rhyming? I was wondering, because of the title. Good luck with it. *Waves*

  8. Rebecca Colby says:

    Glad to hear you had a nice break away, Susanna!

    As to Carrie's pitch, like some of the others have said, I loved the 'out-sing, out-scoop and out-serve part.' The only thing I'd suggest changing would be the title. I'd like to see it shortened but I'm not sure what to suggest without having read the book. Also, the title hints at being a rhyming book. If that is the case, I wonder why you've used the name 'Sam' instead of 'Dan?' (or Stan, or another perfect rhyme with van) But other than the title, the pitch works for me and I'd definitely read it!

  9. Angela Brown says:

    Glad you had a lovely vacation. The pictures look magnificent.
    I would read the book. It's about ice cream. I lurve ice cream 🙂 And it has an interesting conflict to resolve.

  10. Jarmila V. Del Boccio says:

    I'm jealous, Susanna…Nantucket is my favorite island getaway! But I haven't visited for years. Sure glad you had the chance to retreat and refresh…
    Yes, Carrie, I would read it! I love the rhyming title, and the suspense of wanting to know what he does to outshine his opponent. As you were describing Sam's dilemma, I wanted to raise my “dukes”(sp?) and fight for him!

  11. Julie Rowan-Zoch says:

    Is that a hammock in your front yard Susanna? Nice!
    I agree with Iza (she 'out-did' me). And I agree with Lori about the title, should be as snazzy as the pitch: Scooper-Dooper?

  12. Penny Klostermann says:

    Wow! Great pitch! I would definitely read your book. It sounds really fun.

    Susanna-Glad you had a great vacation. Thanks for sharing the beautiful photos.

  13. Carrie F says:

    Thank you so much, Rebecca. Good to see you over here. This one is not a rhymer, and I have struggled with the title quite a bit. Originally the MC's name was Fred (his truck is “Fred's Friendly Ice Cream”) but I changed to Sam to have more assonance with Man while not being a perfect rhyme. Also, you always hear about editors not liking alliterative names (Sammy Squirrel, Chester Chipmunk) so even though I liked it, I decided to change it. I'll have to think about the title and name some more.

  14. Carrie F says:

    Thanks, Charlie. Oooh, I like your 'sing off' idea. Right now there's no official sing-off in the park, but that is giving me some ideas… Thanks!

  15. Carrie F says:

    Thanks, Jess! I'm glad you're a yes. I'm thinking I should play up the singing part in the story even more since that seems appealing to so many people.

  16. Carrie F says:

    Thanks, Erik! I'm glad you liked the pitch. The other ice cream truck is driven by a woman who is not mean, but she definitely has some tricks up her sleeve that give Sam some competition for customers.

  17. Carrie F says:

    Thank YOU, Susanna for the opportunity. I thought your pictures looked like Nantucket or the Vineyard. We had our honeymoon there. It's such a wonderful place and you're right, quite beautiful. I love it.

  18. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Oh, a honeymoon on Nantucket would be so nice! What month? I have always really wanted to go in October to see the cranberry bogs 🙂

    Carrie F (unregistered) wrote, in response to Susanna Leonard Hill:

    Thank YOU, Susanna for the opportunity. I thought your pictures looked like Nantucket or the Vineyard. We had our honeymoon there. It's such a wonderful place and you're right, quite beautiful. I love it.

    User's website
    Link to comment
    IP address: 173.48.174.81

  19. Rebecca Fyfe says:

    Love it! My kids would love the story because it includes two things they love – ice cream and singing!

  20. Saba says:

    I would read it but I think I would have loved to hear a little bit more about the rival, not much but is the rival sinister or just another ice cream shop opening up next door. 😀 Knowing that he has to out-scoop, out-sing and out-serve means there's a competition 🙂

  21. Carrie F says:

    Thanks, Saba! Good idea about the rival. She's not sinister, just another truck driver who comes to the area. I'll think about how I could bring that into it a little more.

  22. Carrie F says:

    Thanks, Rebecca! I'm glad people are mentioning the singing. It's kind of a minor part of the story, but now I will think about playing that up more since it seems appealing.

  23. Carrie F says:

    We went during the last 2 weeks of September, which was an absolutely PERFECT time to go. Still warm and sunny, and most shops and stuff were still open for the season, but hardly anyone was there. It was amazing!

  24. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    It must have been gorgeous! June is better than July and August, but still crowded. One of these days I'll go in autumn 🙂

    Carrie F (unregistered) wrote, in response to Susanna Leonard Hill:

    We went during the last 2 weeks of September, which was an absolutely PERFECT time to go. Still warm and sunny, and most shops and stuff were still open for the season, but hardly anyone was there. It was amazing!

    User's website
    Link to comment
    IP address: 173.48.174.81

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