Mornin’ folks!
A couple orders of business real quick:
#1 – if you have not voted for who you think should win the Summer Send-Off Contest please do! My goodness it is a tight race! We need every vote we can get!
#2 – I realized when I went to write this post that it was meant to include the August Pitch Pick. Except we have a new policy these days. Pitchers have the opportunity to take the feedback you gave them and submit a new version of their pitch for the Pitch Pick. And I didn’t email anyone to remind them… so I don’t have the pitches. Therefore, you are excused from pitch-picking today and I’ll have to squeeze it in somewhere else… probably next Wednesday because there are just too many high jinx and shenanigans going on around here between now and then. (And should you happen to be one of those pitchers, please email me whatever version of your pitch you’d like me to use!)
#3 – Did you know that in Alaska it is illegal to whisper in someone’s ear while he’s moose hunting? I kid you not.
Now then, grab your Something Chocolate (I have chocolate cupcakes on offer at my house this morning – not exactly breakfast food… technically… although they do have eggs in them… :)) and have a gander at today’s pitch. It comes to us from the lovely Elizabeth whom you all know and love as the queen of Banana Peelin’.
Elizabeth Stevens Omlor loves slipping on banana peels. She has at least one slip a day, physically or verbally. She loves writing for children, although she has recently discovered she is a delusional rhymer. When she isn’t writing for children, you can find her having a kitchen dance party with her husband and two young children or drinking a large glass of milk. She loves milk. Yum. Especially when it’s in chocolate. She blogs about all of this on Banana Peelin’: The Ups and Downs of Becoming a Children’s Writer.
Here is her pitch:
Working TItle: Buff The Magic Dragon
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: Buff isn’t your typical dragon. He’s afraid of EVERYTHING. But when auditioning for the role of royal babysitter, his magic trick-gone-wrong lands the baby Princess Ponypants in the tentacles of the fiercest bully of all the sea, Captain Meanie Bones Jones. Forced to fly above the clouds and to eat a meaty squid, Buff finds that sometimes we must face our fears to right our wrongs and protect the ones we love.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
Susanna Leonard Hill 
I would read this for the names of the characters alone 🙂 The story sounds really fun but, most of all, I love the theme of facing one's fears. Good job, Elizabeth!
Woo hoo! Thanks so much Kim! I am a scaredy cat, so hmmmm…maybe I am chaanneling myself through a muscely dragon! =) So glad you enjoy the characters' names! Thanks so much for your comment!
Two thumbs up, Elizabeth! I do agree with the others that it may be a little long. Your names are adorable, but I wonder if they are all really necessary to convey your plot. I might leave out the Captain's name in the pitch.
Thanks so much for your thoughts for Elizabeth, Kim! 🙂
Thanks for your input, Kirsten! 🙂
Thanks Kirsten! It is quite long isn't it?! And Captain Meanie Bones Jones is a mouthful, that is for sure! Great suggestion. I can't wait to resubmit my pitch!
Thanks, Susanna…I'm blushing. 😉
Yep! In a heartbeat, katoom, katoom (just came from Marcie's blog). Yes it is too long. Yes, you could leave out the Captain's full name, but DO NOT take out Princess Ponypants – that's where you had me. I might substitute 'In an attempt to save her…' for 'Forced to fly…meaty squid” to tighten up that which didn't grab me.
Wow..that does sound exciting. A little wordy, but exciting. Yes, I would read it.
Yay! Thanks Julie! I know, too wordy. So glad you're a fan of Princess Ponypants too! 🙂
Thanks Delores! I appreciate your input!
Yes, I'd read! I'm partial to dragons. 🙂
Aren't they wonderful! Thanks so much Coleen! 🙂
Susanna, reading the comments is like going to a hands-on creative writing workshop…I always learn so much! I especially loved Carrie's pitch-fix…where Buff must to “swallow” his fears…AWESOME!
And yes, I definitely would read this book…Elizabeth, it is funny, entertaining and I NEED to find out how it resolves. The names of the characters are stellar, by the way!
Must get over to the PPBF entries now and read them…before it is Friday again. 🙂 Aaaack! How does everyone find the time to do EVERYTHING?
Isn't this place awesome! We 're so lucky to have Susanna! 🙂 yay! Thanks so much Vivian and I hope someday you'll get to read how it resolves! Wouldn't that be wonderful?! 🙂
That would be wonderful 🙂 We would all line up for signed copies and say we knew you when 🙂
Elizabeth Stevens Omlor wrote, in response to Vivian Kirkfield:
Isn't this place awesome! We 're so lucky to have Susanna! 🙂 yay! Thanks so much Vivian and I hope someday you'll get to read how it resolves! Wouldn't that be wonderful?! 🙂
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I know – everyone is so perceptive and articulate! It's really wonderful 🙂 And I don't know how everyone finds time for everything – I can't do it. Even by not getting enough sleep. I never seem to have enough hours! If you figure out the secret, please let me know 🙂
We've had a lot of them around here lately 🙂
Thanks for chiming in, Delores! 🙂
Princess Ponypants is a winner for sure! Thanks for your comments, Julie 🙂
I would definitely read it, but I found the title too close to Puff the Magic Dragon. I expected it to be a spoof of that story OR about a dragon bodybuilder. 🙂 But your premise is awesome. I agree with the folks who've made suggestions on how to cut the pitch down some, but the story itself seems like a winner.
Thanks so much for your thoughts for Elizabeth, Julie! Much appreciated 🙂 (P.S. SurveyMoneky is awesome!)
I would read it because like Julie pointed out, I expect it to be a spoof of Puff the Magic Dragon. *song starts playing in head*
I didn't know that about Alaska. I'll keep that in mind. 😀
I'm excited to readi t!
Yay! Thanks Julie! Actually, Buff turns out to be a wrestling champ, so the name Buff is kinda a spoof. 🙂 So glad you enjoyed the premise. Now time to revise!
Thanks so much Stina! I have actually considered writing my own version of Buff the Magic Dragon the song several times. The lyrics have been ridiculous so far, but maybe one day! 🙂
Well, given how much time you spend moose hunting, I'd expect you to know this! 🙂
Yes, I would read it. Could be shorter and tighter. But, I like the pitch!
Wonderful Pat! Thanks so much!!!
Thanks, Pat! I'm sure Elizabeth will be glad to hear that 🙂
Yes, I'd read it. Love the excitement! Want to see how it resolves. Any book about facing fear is necessary for kids.
I agree with Vivian. Reading through the comments is like going to a conference on pitches. One learns so much. Thanks Susanna for this blog! *Yay* Susanna! 🙂
Thanks for your comments for Elizabeth, Clar, and thanks so much for your kind words about the blog – I'm so glad you enjoy it 🙂
Well thank you Clar!!! And I agree, Susanna's blog is priceless. =)
Let's see…it has a dragon AND Elizabeth? Why, yes I'd read it! The pitch is a bit rambling, but at the same time it sort of mesmerized me. I almost think it would be enough to eliminate the names — they're great names, but not necessary to the pitch, perhaps. And I love that it didn't end with a question, because I just don't like that.
Otherwise…just do what Carrie Finison says, because she's very good at this!
Sounds like another quirky winner, Elizabeth. 🙂
You had me at the title, Elizabeth. Wonderful pitch. Yes, I would read it. I would buy it in a heat beat. However, I am a little confused about why he has to fly ABOVE the clouds to eat a meaty squid. Don't squids stay in he water? I don't have a good sense of place. Are they in the sea, the air, both? If you could keep it to one place for the pitch, I'd be set. Boy, I wish I were a high-powered fancy-pants agent, so I could represent you on the spot. 🙂
You are so welcome! 🙂
Clara Bowman-Jahn, author
“Annie's Special Day”
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Thanks for your comment for Elizabeth, Hannah, and I wish you were a fancy pants editor!
Thanks for your comments for Elizabeth, Renee! And I agree about Carrie – I said she should be an expert consultant 🙂
Why thank you Renee! It is a bit rambly. I tried very hard to not end it with a question! It was as if a voice was booming from above, asking, “Will she be able to write a pitch without ending it with a question?” =) xo
Oh, Hannah. I wish you were my fancypants agent. How fun would that be?! Thanks for your input! I'm definitely cutting the cloudy/squidy part out so maybe there won't be a question of the setting? Hmmm.. Gotta think about this! Thanks again!