Would You Read It Wednesday # 57 – Buff The Magic Dragon (PB)

Mornin’ folks!

A couple orders of business real quick:

#1 – if you have not voted for who you think should win the Summer Send-Off Contest please do!  My goodness it is a tight race!  We need every vote we can get!

#2 – I realized when I went to write this post that it was meant to include the August Pitch Pick.  Except we have a new policy these days.  Pitchers have the opportunity to take the feedback you gave them and submit a new version of their pitch for the Pitch Pick.  And I didn’t email anyone to remind them… so I don’t have the pitches.  Therefore, you are excused from pitch-picking today and I’ll have to squeeze it in somewhere else… probably next Wednesday because there are just too many high jinx and shenanigans going on around here between now and then.  (And should you happen to be one of those pitchers, please email me whatever version of your pitch you’d like me to use!)

#3 – Did you know that in Alaska it is illegal to whisper in someone’s ear while he’s moose hunting?  I kid you not.

Now then, grab your Something Chocolate (I have chocolate cupcakes on offer at my house this morning – not exactly breakfast food… technically… although they do have eggs in them… :)) and have a gander at today’s pitch.  It comes to us from the lovely Elizabeth whom you all know and love as the queen of Banana Peelin’.

Elizabeth Stevens Omlor loves slipping on banana peels. She has at least one slip a day, physically or verbally. She loves writing for children, although she has recently discovered she is a delusional rhymer. When she isn’t writing for children, you can find her having a kitchen dance party with her husband and two young children or drinking a large glass of milk. She loves milk. Yum.  Especially when it’s in chocolate. She blogs about all of this on Banana Peelin’: The Ups and Downs of Becoming a Children’s Writer.

Here is her pitch:

Working TItle:  Buff The Magic Dragon
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch:  Buff isn’t your typical dragon. He’s afraid of EVERYTHING. But when auditioning for the role of royal babysitter, his magic trick-gone-wrong lands the baby Princess Ponypants in the tentacles of the fiercest bully of all the sea, Captain Meanie Bones Jones. Forced to fly above the clouds and to eat a meaty squid, Buff finds that sometimes we must face our fears to right our wrongs and protect the ones we love.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Elizabeth improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in November, so you have time to polish 🙂 for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Elizabeth is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  And I am looking forward to seeing who will win the Summer Send-Off Contest and which book I will pick for Perfect Picture Books on Friday.  It could be anything!  I still have two whole days to choose! 🙂

90 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday # 57 – Buff The Magic Dragon (PB)

  1. Kim Murray says:

    I would read this for the names of the characters alone 🙂 The story sounds really fun but, most of all, I love the theme of facing one's fears. Good job, Elizabeth!

  2. Kirsten Larson says:

    Two thumbs up, Elizabeth! I do agree with the others that it may be a little long. Your names are adorable, but I wonder if they are all really necessary to convey your plot. I might leave out the Captain's name in the pitch.

  3. Julie Rowan-Zoch says:

    Yep! In a heartbeat, katoom, katoom (just came from Marcie's blog). Yes it is too long. Yes, you could leave out the Captain's full name, but DO NOT take out Princess Ponypants – that's where you had me. I might substitute 'In an attempt to save her…' for 'Forced to fly…meaty squid” to tighten up that which didn't grab me.

  4. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    Susanna, reading the comments is like going to a hands-on creative writing workshop…I always learn so much! I especially loved Carrie's pitch-fix…where Buff must to “swallow” his fears…AWESOME!
    And yes, I definitely would read this book…Elizabeth, it is funny, entertaining and I NEED to find out how it resolves. The names of the characters are stellar, by the way!
    Must get over to the PPBF entries now and read them…before it is Friday again. 🙂 Aaaack! How does everyone find the time to do EVERYTHING?

  5. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    That would be wonderful 🙂 We would all line up for signed copies and say we knew you when 🙂

    Elizabeth Stevens Omlor wrote, in response to Vivian Kirkfield:

    Isn't this place awesome! We 're so lucky to have Susanna! 🙂 yay! Thanks so much Vivian and I hope someday you'll get to read how it resolves! Wouldn't that be wonderful?! 🙂

    User's website
    Link to comment
    IP address: 69.228.117.222

  6. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    I know – everyone is so perceptive and articulate! It's really wonderful 🙂 And I don't know how everyone finds time for everything – I can't do it. Even by not getting enough sleep. I never seem to have enough hours! If you figure out the secret, please let me know 🙂

  7. Julie Hedlund says:

    I would definitely read it, but I found the title too close to Puff the Magic Dragon. I expected it to be a spoof of that story OR about a dragon bodybuilder. 🙂 But your premise is awesome. I agree with the folks who've made suggestions on how to cut the pitch down some, but the story itself seems like a winner.

  8. Stina Lindenblatt says:

    I would read it because like Julie pointed out, I expect it to be a spoof of Puff the Magic Dragon. *song starts playing in head*

    I didn't know that about Alaska. I'll keep that in mind. 😀

  9. Clarbojahn says:

    Yes, I'd read it. Love the excitement! Want to see how it resolves. Any book about facing fear is necessary for kids.

    I agree with Vivian. Reading through the comments is like going to a conference on pitches. One learns so much. Thanks Susanna for this blog! *Yay* Susanna! 🙂

  10. Renee LaTulippe says:

    Let's see…it has a dragon AND Elizabeth? Why, yes I'd read it! The pitch is a bit rambling, but at the same time it sort of mesmerized me. I almost think it would be enough to eliminate the names — they're great names, but not necessary to the pitch, perhaps. And I love that it didn't end with a question, because I just don't like that.

    Otherwise…just do what Carrie Finison says, because she's very good at this!

    Sounds like another quirky winner, Elizabeth. 🙂

  11. Hannah Holt says:

    You had me at the title, Elizabeth. Wonderful pitch. Yes, I would read it. I would buy it in a heat beat. However, I am a little confused about why he has to fly ABOVE the clouds to eat a meaty squid. Don't squids stay in he water? I don't have a good sense of place. Are they in the sea, the air, both? If you could keep it to one place for the pitch, I'd be set. Boy, I wish I were a high-powered fancy-pants agent, so I could represent you on the spot. 🙂

  12. Elizabeth Stevens Omlor says:

    Oh, Hannah. I wish you were my fancypants agent. How fun would that be?! Thanks for your input! I'm definitely cutting the cloudy/squidy part out so maybe there won't be a question of the setting? Hmmm.. Gotta think about this! Thanks again!

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