Would You Read It Wednesday #86 – Day Dreamer (YA Sci-Fi) PLUS The April Pitch Pick

Happy May Day, Everyone!

Isn’t it so appropriate that the birthstone for May is emerald?  May is so beautifully green!

And in the spirit of spring, I’m going to go hog wild and serve strawberry shortcake this morning.  I know it isn’t chocolate, but YUM anyway! 🙂  Please!  Help yourselves 🙂

Now then.  A teensy item of business before we get to the pitch pick and today’s Would You Read It pitch.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I did not detect the usual level of enthusiasm for my most recent hare-brained scheme contest.  I have decided this is my fault.  I thought it would be totally fun to see what you clever folks came up with – you always amaze me with your creativity!  But I can see how maybe it’s more fun for me than it is for you, even though there are prizes.  And far be it from me to force anything on you that you don’t think is fun!

So please let your opinion be known below.  Would anyone like to try the contest?  Or shall I make it easy – points for Face Book posting, Tweeting, or blogging about the ebook on May 7-9 or something – and lower the prize quality accordingly?  Ready set vote! (By 9PM EDT tomorrow, Thursday May 2)

Phew!  Now that’s out of the way, let’s do the April Pitch Pick.  Here are the newly improved and updated pitches from our intrepid pitchers thanks to your excellent feedback.

#1 Pam
Flood Dogs (Picture Book ages 5-8)
Based on a true story, FLOOD DOGS tells of a girl, her two dogs, and the flood that comes between them. As Cadence fears the fate of her dogs, she must also face the devastation of her town and home.  When she finally reconnects with her dogs, Cadence is overjoyed to discover just how much she still has.

#2 Elaine
Giant At The Gym (Picture Book ages 3-7)
When Giant works out at the 24-hour Animal Fitness Gym, he discovers that the weights are too light. Grabbing treadmill runners, stationary bike riders and bench pressers, Giant soon has animals of all kinds hanging from his barbells. Yet the barbells are still too light! Will Giant find the right amount of weight before he runs out of gym-goers or will Elephant put him over the top?

#3 Deborah
Hurricane Enrique (Picture Book ages 4-7)
Every Friday afternoon, Molly takes care of her best friend’s yippy, nippy little Chihuahua, Carlos.  When a tropical storm strikes, Molly finds that rescuing Carlos isn’t easy, but friends are friends.

#4 Cynthia
A Noise In The Dark (Picture Book ages 4-8)
Nicky knows he’ll never get to sleep unless he finds out what is making so much noise in this closet, but it’s dark and he is scared and all he really wants to do is hide under his covers. When Nicky gets no help from mom he realizes he must find the courage to face his fears so he could finally get some sleep.

Please vote for the pitch you think deserves a read by editor Erin Molta by Friday May 3 at 11:59 PM EDT.  Thank you!

Now then!  Onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Jesse.  Jesse says, “I am an ad copy and commercial writer by trade. I am a husband and father of two (ages 3 and 6). I have tried my hand at writing stories for my children. I am in the process of self publishing a picture book entitled, “That’s Not How Mommy Does It” and recently I began writing the Day Dreamer novel for young adults. I would love the aid of the writing community as well as the backing of an agent and publisher. I have also had multiple articles published in an Apple related business magazine, i.Business.

Here is a link to a facebook community that I started, ‘The Indie and Self Publishing Forum’. It has been accepted warmly by the writing community: http://www.facebook.com/groups/480809531948228/
And this is my personal facebook: http://www.facebook.com/jesse.lee.71697
And this is my Commercial Writing and Marketing Blog: www.realnichemarketing.com

Here is Jesse’s pitch:

Working Title: Day Dreamer
Age/Genre: YA Science Fiction
The Pitch: What causes Deja Vu? No one has been able to scientifically prove the cause. But, Neurologist Dr. Edwin Wallace has found the answer. And the answer gives a clue to his visions. But as his visions fade with his age, a new and exceptionally gifted 17 year old Day Dreamer, Jackson Cooper could unlock the secret to harness their premonitions for the good of mankind. But when Jackson is taken by a secret government agency hoping to use his gift for military purposes, he will have to fight his way back home with the help of a group of gifted youths that he will meet along the way. This exciting and highly realistic science fiction drama presents a believable explanation to how a person could accurately see the future.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Jesse improve his pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in June so you have a little time to polish your pitch for your chance to be read by editor Erin Molta!

Jesse is looking forward to your thoughts on his pitch!  I am looking forward to finding out what you really think about the jingle contest so I can come up with a new plan if need be!

Have a lovely day, everyone! 🙂

60 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #86 – Day Dreamer (YA Sci-Fi) PLUS The April Pitch Pick

  1. Laura Anne Miller says:

    I just now read Monday's post [how absolutely splendid on the e-release-I can't wait to order] and Wednesday's post, I definitely want to help promote via FB or blog (I still haven't figured out twitter)…but I feel inadequate when it comes to writing poetry or jingles…..perhaps I'll enlist my youngins to assist me (is that allowed?)… Congrats again!

  2. Elaine Kiely Kearns says:

    I'm a littl late to the party (sorry about that!) Congrats on your app's- I will definitely buy them the minute the come out! (Hooray for STEM projects!) Woot, Susanna!
    Now, as for Jesse's pitch, I would definitely read it! The pitch could be tightened a bit and there are a few grammar issues (not my strongest suit either). Someone had told me that you shouldn't start too many sentences with conjunctions (And, But, or) other than that, the premise sounds fascinating! Good luck, Jesse!

  3. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Thanks for the congrats, Elaine 🙂 And just so you know, it's an e-book, not an app, but it does have a read-to-me feature… I have't even gotten to see it yet! Thanks so much for you comments for Jesse 🙂

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  4. Hannah Holt says:

    Sorry, I'm really late to the party! Jesse, your pitch sounds interesting, but I'm not really sure what your book is about. From the first three sentences, I thought it was a non-fiction book. Then you introduce Dr. Wallace and I'm not sure if he is the main character or if it's Jackson. It's probably just me. But if you were going to rewrite the pitch for a dummy like me, I would 1) only name the main character or at least name him first, 2) start with the action/emotional crux of the story rather than a fact, 3) and cut it down to three sentences leaving any less important information out. Best wishes with the book launch and all your writing projects!

  5. This Kid Reviews Bks says:

    Aww… I couldn't vote… 😦 I want to join the contest, but I don't know if I have time. I went on a surprise trip wit my parents that I heard you know about 😉 Josie and I are still going to try to get our entries done!

    I agree with Ms. Holt. Although I would still read it. I like Sci-Fi. and most YA. 😀

  6. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Sorry you missed the vote – although it was for a VERY good reason 🙂 – but I assumed you and Josie might still want to try to participate if you had time since you were one of the few who expressed interest at the beginning. Thanks for your comments for Mr. Lee!

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  7. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Wow, Beth! Thank you for your very thoughtful and helpful comments for Jesse! It was kind of you to take the time over it! And you're very welcome for WYRI – feel free to send in a pitch any time 🙂

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