Would You Read It Wednesday #104 – The Garden Disaster (PB) PLUS Straight From The Editor

I have an announcement to make.

Wonder of wonders, my office is really and truly ALMOST clean!  I’m SO close!  Seriously!  I mean it!

The shelves are full and neatly organized.

All kinds of stuff is packed into labeled drawers (the idea being that I might ever find it again :))

Boxes of stuff are filed!

The desk top is partially visible.

There’s only a small Goodwill pile on the piano (and if you’re wondering why I have a piano in my office it’s partly because I love to play and mostly because it won’t fit anywhere else in the house!)

And there are just a few more odds and ends I have to clean up and decide what to do with.

SO CLOSE!

So y’all have to keep after me to make sure I cross the finish line on this job.  If I do, I’ll share pictures in which you can actually see the floor!!! and we’ll have some sort of fun and fabulous party to celebrate!  There will most likely be chocolate and presents involved, so it’s in all of our best interest if I get this done!

Speaking of chocolate, it’s supposed to be 92 degrees today, so I’m thinking we’d like something frosty and delightful.  Shall we have chocolate milkshake this morning?

I believe we shall! 🙂  And see how I got us one with a strawberry?  Health food 🙂  You’re welcome 🙂

Now, while you are sipping that delicious, chocolatey, ice-cold yumminess, let’s have a look at this month’s Straight From The Editor.

You will recall that Rachel won the July Pitch Pick with her pitch for The Curse of the Shattered Sceptre.  (which reminds me that we haven’t done the August pitch pick… hmmm… better get on that!)

Her winning pitch was as follows:

After accidentally unleashing a torrent of curses, Ollie and his Book Club buddies must use their wits and imagination to unravel a series of twisted clues. In a race against time, will the boys mend the shattered sceptre, restoring the balance of nature, or will they be cursed forever? 

Here is what editor Erin Molta had to say about it:

This looks exciting. A couple of things that might help it, though . . .
 Where did the curse come from? Right now, it seems a torrent of curses could be coming from a person—as in swears. It’s a tad unclear. Also, unravel a series of clues to what? To mend the scepter? If so, I’d clarify it this way and rather than structure it as a question, I’d make it more declarative like: Ollie and his buddies accidentally unleash a torrent of curses  (from what—an antique scepter from the museum—displayed in the library?). Racing against time, the boys must use their wits and imagination to unravel a series of twisted clues in order to mend the shattered scepter and restore the balance of nature—or they will be cursed forever! 
 Good luck!

As always, many thanks to Erin for her very helpful insights.  I always feel we learn something valuable!

Today’s pitch comes to us from Kathy who says, “I live on a little farm in Vermont with my husband and my grandson. Having my grandson around is kind of what led me to wanting to write pb’s. I have plenty of pets, farm animals and wildlife, so I have no shortage of thing to write about 🙂

We do a lot of fishing, exploring and outdoor fun!

Here is my blog address: I don’t have many followers and I’m not really much of a blogger, but I created one because it was suggested that I should have one. Guess I need to go update and brush up on it 🙂

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: The Garden Disaster
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-7)
The Pitch: What’s a bee to do?  Basil’s daily chore is to collect pollen and nectar, but he never seems to collect enough. His Mom thinks it’s because he plays too much, but Basil knows it’s because of Mrs. Grady’s rotten cat.  One day while Basil is in the garden collecting his pollen and nectar a new hairy beast shows up!  Basil must think up a great idea to outsmart this new beast so he can finally fill his bucket to the tippy top.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Kathy improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in November so polish up your pitches and send yours for your chance to be read by editor Erin Molta!

Kathy is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to Friday and the return of Perfect Picture Books, which I will be starting out with a bang and a special surprise give-away that you will NOT want to miss!!!  So mark your calendars!

Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!  Happy reading, writing, teaching, parenting… whatever you’re doing today! 🙂

64 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #104 – The Garden Disaster (PB) PLUS Straight From The Editor

  1. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Thanks for your thoughts for Kathy, Pat. And I learned classical piano. I'm not much good at jamming with the family – they're all much better than I am! – but I can pick out pretty much any tune by ear 🙂

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  2. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Yeah. I don't think you really want me Kathy. I am NOT a good cleaner. I'm entirely too tempted to shove things in the closet and behind the piano just so they're out of sight 🙂 And I make up filing systems that make sense at the time but then later I can't figure out what my plan was 🙂

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  3. Kathy says:

    Thank you all for all your great thoughts 🙂
    Thank you Susanna for letting me post a pitch here 🙂
    Now I'm off to digest all this information and hopefully my brain will process it in the right direction!

  4. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Oh yeah, I do that too! And the worst thing is it's usually the office I dump things in because it's out of sight of the rest of the house – I can close the door and no one can see the disaster area 🙂 Which is how I got into this mess to begin with! 🙂

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  5. Hannah Holt says:

    Hey Susanna! Good job cleaning your office. You are ahead of me for sure. 😉 Kathy, I like your pitch a lot. I think Basil is a darling name for a bee. So cute! I would recommend tightening the pitch to focus on the central problem. Right now you tell us (at least) three problems: trouble with his mother, trouble with the cat, and trouble with the new (undefined) beast. It's a little too much mystery for me. I want to know who and what to cheer for in a pitch. But this sounds like a wonderful story, and I would definitely keep reading. All the best!

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