Woo-hoo!!!
Spring is here!
And so is
The March Madness Writing Contest!
The Contest: Write a children’s story, in poetry or prose, maximum 400 words, that is a fractured fairy tale. Feel free to add a theme of spring, or mix in one of the spring holidays if you like – St. Patrick’s Day, April Fools Day, Easter or Passover, Arbor Day, Earth Day… Have fun with it! The madder* the better! 🙂
*as in wild and wacky, not angry 🙂
You do not have to include spring – that is optional.
The story can be a picture book or a short story – whatever you like.
If it’s a picture book, you may NOT include art notes, because we get into a weird area of whether that’s fair in terms of word count and added description etc. So if you write a picture book that’s wonderful, but make sure art notes aren’t necessary to understand it.
“Fairy Tale” apparently turned out to be a very debatable term, so my fellow judges and I will do our best to handle whatever you’ve come up with.
Title not included in word count.
Post: Your entry should be posted on your blog between right now this very second and Monday March 24 at 11:59 PM EST, and your post-specific link should be added to the link list below which will remain up through Wednesday March 26 so we can all take our time reading and enjoying everyone’s stories! (No PPBF on Friday March 21, no new post on Monday March 24, no WYRI on March 26). If you don’t have a blog but would like to enter, please copy and paste your entry into the comments below. (If anyone has trouble commenting, which unfortunately happens, please email me and I’ll post your entry for you!)
The Judge: My lovely assistant and I will narrow down the entrants to 6 finalists (or possibly a couple more depending on the number of entries :)) which will be posted here on Thursday March 27 for you to vote on for a winner. The vote will be closed at 5PM EST on Sunday March 30 and the winner will be announced on Monday March 31. (No PPBF on Friday March 28.)
The Prizes!:
– 1st Prize is a read and critique by
Karen Grencik of
Red Fox Literary!!! (Unless for some reason you don’t want a read and critique by an agent, in which case you may swap for any of the other prizes)
– 2nd Prize is a picture book manuscript critique (for rhyming mss only) by
Lori Degman, author of 1 ZANY ZOO and the forthcoming COCK-A-DOODLE-OOPS!
OR a picture book manuscript critique (for non-rhyming mss only) by
Cori Doerrfeld, author/illustrator of LITTLE BUNNY FOO FOO and PENNY LOVES PINK as well as illustrator of many others.
– 3rd Prize is personalized signed copies of THE THREE NINJA PIGS and GOLDI ROCKS & THE THREE BEARS by
Corey Rosen Schwartz PLUS a $25 Amazon Gift Card
– 4th and 5th Prizes are your choice of any two of the following picture books PLUS a $20 Amazon Gift Card:
– THE THREE LITTLE WOLVES AND THE BIG BAD PIG by Eugene Trivizas
– CINDY ELLEN: A WILD WESTERN CINDERELLA by Susan Lowell
– LITTLE RED WRITING by Joan Holub
– THE THREE LITTLE PIGS AND THE SOMEWHAT BAD WOLF by Mark Teague
– THE PRINCESS AND THE PEAS by Caryl Hart
– THE WOLF’S STORY: WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD by Toby Forward
– GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE DINOSAURS by Mo Willems
– 6th Prize (which just skated in under the wire – thank you Sudipta!) is a personalized signed copy of hot-off-the-presses SNORING BEAUTY by Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen
And don’t forget, all you illustrators, that this will be followed by a related Illustrator Contest in April!!! (to be announced and elaborated on as soon as the writing part of the contest is over! :))
And now, so that everyone will feel happy and confident about posting their stories, I will share my sample, a Wild West twist on The Gingerbread Boy at exactly 400 words (phew!):
The Cornpone Cowboy
Once upon a time (because that is the way all good fairy tales begin), Farmer Bubba and his lovely bride ThunderLily had the most beautiful ranch in the Wild West.
The grass was emerald green.
The rivers were pure as morning dew.
The cattle were sleek and fat and gave such rich, creamy milk that all the ice cream makers in the world fought over who would get it.
But even with all this beauty and excellent ice cream, Bubba and ThunderLily were sad. For though they were surrounded every spring by velvet-eyed calves and stilt-legged foals, fluffy chicks, pink piglets, and wooly lambs, they never had a child of their own.
Luckily, ThunderLily was not one to sit around moping. “If I can’t have a child, I’ll make one,” she told her darling Bubba.
She got cornmeal and buttermilk, eggs, salt, and bacon drippings, and quick as you like she whipped up a sturdy little Cornpone Cowboy.
“We’ll call him Charlemagne,” she said dreamily as she plucked the skillet from the barbeque pit.
“You’ll have to catch me first!” snorted the Cornpone Cowboy, and off he rode as fast as his cowpony could carry him.
He passed the pigpen and the piglets grunted, “Oh, Charlemagne! Come be our friend!”
“Don’t call me that!” said the Cornpone Cowboy, and he galloped on his way.
He passed the sheepfold and the lambs baahed, “Oh, Charlemagne! Come be our friend!”
“Don’t call me that!” said the Cornpone Cowboy, and he galloped on his way.
He passed the cow barn and the calves mooed, “Oh, Charlemagne! Come be our friend!”
“Why does everyone insist on calling me that?” said the Cornpone Cowboy, and he galloped on his way.
And so it was at the hen house…
. . . the horse pasture…
. . . and the goat shed.
Along about sundown a voice called, “Hey, Cowboy! Won’t you come set a spell by the campfire?”
“Don’t mind if I do,” said the Cornpone Cowboy, tuckered out from galloping. He hopped down from his pony, spurs a-janglin’, and came face to face with…
. . . COYOTE!
Quick as a wink he twirled his lariat. . .
. . . hog-tied Coyote . . .
. . . and lit out for home!
When Bubba and ThunderLily heard his story, ThunderLily said, “That’s our boy! Lightning fast!”
Which is how he came to be called LightningCharlie instead of Charlemagne (because really, who could live with that?) and they all lived happily ever after!
The End
Wasn’t that nice of me? Now you can all feel brave and smug, secure in the knowledge that your story is better than that!!! 🙂
Anyone besides me feeling an urge to sing?
“Like a Cornpone Cowboy
riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo
Cornpone Cowboy…“
No? Darn! I was hoping the exceptional quality of my singing would distract you from that story even though “cornpone” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it as “rhinestone” 🙂
I can’t wait to read what you have all come up with! Let the fun begin! 🙂
And remember to check back here for entries added in the comments. I’ll list them as they come in 🙂 (Titles link to stories in comments – give them an extra moment to load)
Jennifer C – The Princess And The Pete
Pat H – Jack And The Giant
Angela – The Belle And The Sticker Burrs
Sean – No Spring Chicken Little
Shelly – Prince Frog
Kirsten B – Goldi And Red
Pen – The Sweetie Witch
Connie – Chocolocks And The Three Bunnies
Karen – Little Red Hen’s Shiny New Friend
Teresa S – Little Red’s Green Cloak
Eric – A Sleeping Beauty
Katie – Little Dead Riding Hood
Robert – Jack And The Beanstalk
Lisa – Rabbi Wolfberg And The Boarmans Celebrate Sukkot
Denise – The Biscuit Man
Kristen – The Boy Who Cried Spring
Jennifer Mc – Little Red Ray
Debbie – The Three Kittens
Gaye – Chocolate Muffins
Nancy – Big Bad Wolf And Red Riding Toad
Robert2 – The Emperor’s New Clothes
Kelsi – Goldinocks And The Three Scares
Jen – The Mischievous Fire Truck
Heather – Rap-unzel
Robert3 – Humpty
Hilary – Hare And Tortoise
Sandy – The Three Little Pigs And The Shoemaker
Kelly V – A Fractured Fairy Tail (Literally)
Susanna Leonard Hill 
I'm glad you enjoyed it, Melinda! And I'm so glad you joined in the contest – your entry was tons of fun! 🙂
This is ingenious, Katie! For someone who hasn't tried a fractured fairy tale before you sure did an excellent job! The story hangs together well, it's entertaining and funny (also a little scary and gruesome :)) and the twist at the end was fantastic! Well done! I'm so glad you joined in the writing madness! 🙂
Oops, I accidentally submitted mine twice – thought it didn't work the first time. And it's come up with the link and not the title of my story. It's been a while! The title is Handsome and Gretchin. I also wanted to comment on Little Dead Riding Hood – hilarious. Loved the ending with Deadlilocks too.
No worries, Rachel – I'll see if I can fix it. Can't wait to read it – great title! 🙂
Loved this modern day version of the Little Red Hen – nice job!
I don't have a blog, so here's my fractured fairy tale poem:
JACK AND THE BEANSTALK
A mother and her little boy lived once upon a time
in poverty conditions. They had nothing. Only grime.
They had to find a way to eat. The question, though, was how.
There was no meat upon the bones of their malnourished cow.
One day the mother told the boy, “Jack, go into town
and sell the cow. I'm sure it's worth, at minimum, a crown.”
But Jack decided he would sell the cow for just one bean.
His mother, when she learned of this, said something quite obscene.
The bean had magic properties and sprouted to the sky,
and Jack climbed to the top and heard a giant say “fee fie.”
The giant started chasing Jack while chanting words in rhyme,
the gist of which was he had plans for Jack come dinnertime.
He picked up Jack in one big fist, but Jack somehow squirmed loose,
and as he ran away he swiped the giant's magic goose.
Now Jack and mom are rich from all the gold eggs it is laying.
But mom still punished Jack. She said, “I can't stand disobeying.”
–Robert Schechter
Thanks so much Melinda!
I love that she snores!
Funny that he still got punished for disobeying! Nice job with the rhyme scheme!
Ha! Love deadlilocks! Way to tap into the zombie craze:-)
I love the way you tied in St. Paddy's. And you worked well with a whole host of characters:-)
Very cleverly done, Robert! Excellent rhyme and meter, and I love the ending – poor Jack! 🙂 Thanks so much for joining in our mad fairy tale fun! 🙂
Ha ha, Susanna. Your story was wonderful. All the best to all who've entered your fabulous contest. 🙂
Thanks, Tracy – you're too kind 🙂 I hope you'll get a chance to hop around and read – so many fabulous entries!
Thanks so much, Vivian!
Thanks, Joanne!
I'm not a fan of zombies, but I do love the last line. You made me laugh!
I love the Cornpone Cowboy. And I'm not just saying that to butter up the hostess. Get it? Cornpone? Butter up? (Um, sorry. I should probably stick to the fairy tales.) 🙂
Hahaha! That makes me thing you ARE trying to butter me up, Cathy 🙂
hilarious!!! LOVED IT! me and daughter laughed and laughed!
What a very entertaining and original twist on the 3 Little Pigs, Lisa! I love that the wolf has allergies 🙂 And that the dog had such a strong sneeze it could blow down a brick sukkah! Oye Vey! 🙂 Thanks so much for joining in the fun!!!
Thank you : )
Great twist! A cute reason the “houses” keep getting blown down:-)
I love this, I am so pleased that the happy ever after instant fix by marriage is losing its grip on stories. 🙂
it certainly is good to be clean and green and I really like the turn about in your story. So glad Tad managed to clean his pond
laughing here
Wow what a dog! He should have his own story. Super duper dog. I grinned from ear to ear reading this story.
Poor Rabbi Wolfberg and his allergies . The cat makes me chuckle just for being there. Stan, Dan, and Jan Boarman are very accomodating and I get to learn two new words Sukkah and sukko. The day cannot get better. 🙂
I love it when a rhyme rhymes well. I have a bit of trouble with a mother who punished for disobeying but not breaking and entering(the giants lair) and stealing ….chuckle great story.
as fractured fairy tales goes this one pulls the other leg. Zombies-. fabulous. I wish I could share this one with my horror con friends they would love it. I am grining and chuckling and grinning more. I love the interaction between Goldi and Red and the visuals of poor wolfie 'scooching back' and Red's leg dropping off is brilliant. I did wonder where granny disappeared to or is she in disguise as the huntsman in a zorro-esque twist?
I have been laughing too hard to type. I could hear the music, I really could. The epic crescendo as his feet smashed through the glass. Still laughing got to go wipe my eyes. Perfect, like seriously, perfect
I am so glad to finally see this story in its entirety 🙂
Good on the little red Hen and the shiny green tractor. Farmer must have been deaf as a post to sleep through that roaring. 🙂
Chocolate is always a winner. Cute kid, cute bunnies and chocolate, what else could anyone want in a story. 😉
I really really like this ending. Much better than frying an old witch alive.
wicked wicked girls. Wolves, Bears, porridge and grannies you've filled up every nook and cranny in your twisted fairy tail. well done 🙂
Poultry Roast. mmmm mmmm
Thanks!
Thanks : )
I never did like Jack and his thieving murderous ways. good to hear the story from the giant's point of view.
Susanna, I think your Cornpone Cowboy is awfully cute. (I was humming!) There are many, many clever stories. What great imaginations! Thanks for posting these (and thanks for helping with my bone-headed problem this morning.)
Woweee! You did it: you wrote another fine example that no one else can beat, Susanna! 😀
Looks like a goodly number of folks have entered…though I won't number among the goodly this time around. 🙂
Best of luck to everyone!
Achoo! I am not allergic to this story. This is for dramatic effect. 😀 I loved this story. Good job, Lisa.
Well we need loyal readers too, Teresa, to celebrate everyone's hard work, so there's no shame in sitting this one out 🙂 There are so many excellent stories – it's really fun! 🙂
I know, aren't all the stories great?! It's such a treat to read them all! And there's still time to enter if you feel inspired, Rosi… 🙂
GO OUTSIDE THREE LITTLE PIGS
Once upon a time there were three little pigs.
Three lazy pigs that just sat around all day and did nothing but play video games.
Until one sunny day when Mama Pig decided she couldn’t take it anymore.
“That’s it!” She said, pointing to the door. “I have had enough! Go. Out. SIDE!”
“What?” said the First Pig.
“You want us to go out… there?” said the Second Pig.
“But, there’s never anything to do outside,” complained the Third Pig.
Mama Pig threw open the door.
“Havean adventure! Use your imagination! Just go outside, NOW!”
So the three miserable, lazy pigs went outside.
“It’s sooo hot out here,” moaned the First Pig.
“I’m sooo bored,” whined the Second
“I want to go back inside,” cried the Third.
A dark shadow crept slowly along the fence.
“Little pig, little pigs, let me in,” whispered a gravely voice.
“The wolf! Mom!” The three pigs banged on the door.
“Go away,” said Mama Pig from inside the house.
The three pigs stared at one another.
“Quick!” said Pig Number One. “To the straw pile!”
The three pigs ran across the lawn and burrowed their way into the middle of the straw.
“Ha!” laughed the Wolf. “Do you really think that measly house made of hay is going to keep me away? I am going to huff and puff…”
The three pigs burrowed as fast as they could through the back of the straw pile.
“To the tree house!” yelled the Second Pig.
The three pigs clambered up the ladder to the tree house and slammed the door shut.
Snap!
A branch snapped, and then another, and another.
Snap!
Snap!
Suddenly through the window came the wolf’s furry head, his red, beady eyes and his pointed teeth.
“Really, a house made of sticks?” He snarled.
The three pigs quickly threw themselves out of the house, landing one by one with a thud on the dirt below.
“Over there! Behind that brick wall!” yelled Pig Number Three.
Thethree pigs scampered behind the wall but they knew it was no use;
shiny,sharp claws crept over the rocks…
“Help! We’re doomed!” They cried.
“Pigs!Oh, Pigs, time for din-ner!” Yelled Mama Pig.
“Awww,shoot.” said Pig Number One.
“Already?” Said Pig Number Two
“HeyWolf, maybe we can play again tomorrow?” Said Pig Number Three.
“Sure,”said Wolf. “That was great! See you tomorrow pigs!”
whooooooo hoooooo great twist, love the pace and the tension.
Thanks Cecilia!
Yes, I've always thought witches got a bum deal in fairy tales 😉 Thanks Cecilia!
I really enjoyed this take on a classic… You really brought it to life and I loved that the princess was kind but not weak- minded. Excellent job!
Love this twist on the 3 Pigs, Anne! Great that Mom wanted them off their hineys and outdoors, and that they discovered (as all kids tend to do) that playing outdoors is fun! Fun, kid-friendly spin on the original. Great job! Thanks for joining in the Madness 🙂