Would You Read It #132 – The Long Wait For Mom (PB) PLUS Straight From The Editor

Now don’t you fret, punkin’s!

I know you’re all feeling a little down because the Illustration Contest is over and it was so much fun, but never fear!  We have plenty to keep us busy today so you won’t have a moment to dwell on missing the illustrations!

And…

AND

I have a scrumptious snack to cheer you and energize you!

One of the reasons I love you all is because you are so considerate – always thinking of me when you see Something Chocolate and making sure I know about it 🙂  Many’s the time when one of you dear folks stumble upon Something Deliciously Chocolate and think to yourselves, “Oh Susanna!” whereupon you immediately send me a Helpful Face Book Post or an Enlightening Tweet, sometimes even a High Priority Email!, calling my attention to that Something Scrumptiously Chocolate.  Thank you.  Truly.  From the bottom of my heart.  It is so imperative that I know where ALL the chocolate is! 🙂

Today’s Something Chocolate is a case in point.  The lovely Rene helpfully called my attention to this. . .

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Brownies by Recipe Girl
http://www.recipegirl.com/2011/06/02/chocolate-chip-cookie-dough-brownies/

. . . morsel of delectableness!!!  YUM!!!  And you are all the beneficiaries 🙂

Please enjoy!  (But maybe turn your head from the computer slightly so you don’t get too much drool in your keyboard :))

Now that you are thusly fortified, let’s get down to business.

First, we have Straight From The Editor for March.  You will recall that the March Pitch Pick was won by Ann with her pitch for Sk8r Boy.  Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Sk8r Boy
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 5-8)
The Pitch: 
Peter wants to be an ice skater but can’t because he’s homeless, and he doesn’t have the money for a pair of skates.  But when there’s a poetry contest at school with a small cash prize, he may be able to make his smooth words glide and spin so that he can buy the skates and win his classmates’ respect.

And here is what editor Erin Molta has to say about it:

This is nice. The only thing I would change is the end. I’d think that he’d want to buy the skates so that he can pursue his dream. You don’t want to equate being poor with having no respect. See what I added to the end.
Peter wants to be an ice skater but can’t because he’s homeless, and he doesn’t have the money for a pair of skates.  But when there’s a poetry contest at school with a small cash prize, he may be able to make his smooth words glide and spin so that he can buy the skates and win his classmates’ respect pursue his dream to glide and spin on the ice (or something to that effect . . .).
Nice job, Ann!  And great advice from Erin as always!

Now, it’s time for the April Pitch Pick.  Except we had a glitch and I didn’t hear back from one person because she apparently did not receive my revision email.  I am pretty much not speaking to my computer.  Well.  Actually.  It’s not the computer’s fault.  It’s the internet’s fault.  Our internet is temperamental, moody, unpredictable, and vindictive.  You think I’m joking?  Just come up on Blueberry Hill and try to get anything done efficiently online.  I am AGING, people!  But I digress.  The point is, you are off the voting hook until next week 🙂  Which kind of works out nicely since you’re probably all a little tired of voting after the incident from last week which we are not mentioning lest you become sad again after I just cheered you up with chocolate! 🙂

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for….

Today’s pitch comes to us from Vivian, whom we’ve met before with her pitches for The Tomato Turner (WYRI #49), Confessions Of The Tomato Turner (WYRI #58), and The Tomato Turner Gets A Job (WYRI #98).

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: The Long Wait For Mom
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 5 and up)
The Pitch: There is a huge aching hole in Sophie ‘s life when Mom is deployed. Sophie tries unsuccessfully to make spring come more quickly by keeping busy, but when she starts baking cookies for soldiers, she discovers that helping others is the best way to wait for the ones we love.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Vivian improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Vivian is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to experimenting with that recipe above for the chocolate chip cookie dough brownies!  (And by experimenting of course I mean tasting :))

Ooh!  And one last thing before we go!  My friend Sarah Frances Hardy, author/illustrator of Puzzled By Pink, has a BRAND SPANKING NEW book out!  Really!  It just came out yesterday!  It’s called PAINT ME! and I encourage you all to go check it out 🙂

Have a wonderful Wednesday, everyone!!! 🙂

67 thoughts on “Would You Read It #132 – The Long Wait For Mom (PB) PLUS Straight From The Editor

  1. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    That's high praise from you, Penny! I so appreciate your kind words…if there aren't enough brownies for you, I'll have Sophie make some more. 🙂

  2. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    Hi Erik! Glad you would like to read it…promise me you will review it if/when it gets published, okay? 😉
    And a video contest sounds like fun…maybe that would force me to learn how to do it. 🙂

  3. Hannah Holt says:

    Ah! That brownie looks to die for! And Vivian YES, I would read it. 🙂 I really like your pitch. The first sentence hooked me! In the second sentence, I'm not sure you need the detail about spring as their isn't anything else in the pitch specifically about the seasons. My first thought was “why spring?” Because of the other suggestions, I tried writing a pitch using details from the story; however, I think the way you have it now is better. So while I like the idea of adding specifics, too many details can also slow down the pace of a pitch. However, you move forward, it's a great pitch and a fantastic story. Good luck!!!

  4. This_Kid_Reviews_Books_Erik says:

    Well, if you want a random (but realistic-ish) reason, visit www[dot]daysoftheyear[dot]com! It should be something where everyone (including me!) makes big fools of themselves! (me especially, for suggesting that… 😉 )

  5. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    Hi Hannah,
    Good thing I came back to this page when Susanna reminded me it was time to post the revisions for the May pitch pick (it is now almost July) – I somehow missed your lovely comment and helpful thoughts! Thanks for chiming in – I truly value your feedback. 🙂

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