Well, folks, here it is Wednesday again! What a week it has been, and not a good one.
I like to keep things upbeat around here, so I won’t depress you with details. But I haven’t got the heart for high jinx and shenanigans today. Instead I’ll just ask that if you have kids and they’re near, give them a hug. If they’re not near, call them and tell them how much you love them. Take a moment to be grateful if they’re alive and well, even if sometimes they try your patience, and if they’re old enough to be driving, remind them, even if they roll their eyes, that motor vehicles demand respect and caution at all times – at least twice as much respect and caution as they think. Then hug them again. And maybe once more, just because you can.
And now, I will be having at least two helpings of Something Chocolate, and I recommend you do the same. Celebrate the good! I picked something delicious and chocolatey but also delightfully cold since it’s going to climb well into the 90s today. Two layers of decadent chocolate cake with a layer of vanilla ice cream sandwiched in between all topped with hot fudge! Really, what could be better than that? 🙂 Maybe chocolate ice cream in the middle 🙂
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| Milo Ice Cream Cake http://www.brit.co/ice-cream-cakes/ |
Now that we have all enjoyed a sustaining snack, let’s get right to Would You Read It.
Today’s pitch comes to us from Erin who says, “My name is Erin. I have a degree in Biology, a job that has nothing to do with my degree, and an insane urge to write, which has nothing to do with my job! A couple of years ago, I discovered a box of books I had saved from my childhood and realized I wasn’t pursuing my passion. I started writing picture books, taking online classes, and trying to learn my craft. And this year I’ve committed to putting my work out there for critique so I can eventually get to the next step–submission!”
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: Love, Emmett
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: Emmett loved books so much that he eventually loved them to pieces…literally. Going on daily adventures with a little boy will do that to a book. After his favorite one falls apart, Emmett saves the one remaining page to remember the book by, only he can’t seem to get the story quite right. When Emmett’s teacher asks the class to share their favorite books, Emmett must decide how to tell the book’s story. But his love for the book might just say everything.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
Erin is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to spending time with my family, including my sister and brother-in-law and my niece and nephews who are arriving this afternoon for a two week stay. After this week, time with family is exactly what I want most.
Have a wonderful Wednesday, everyone! 🙂
I definitely need to work on tightening it. Thank you for the feedback, Andrea!
Great suggestions for tightening my pitch. Thank you, Joanne!
Imagining he could probably recite the story is something I struggled with a bit while writing the text, so I'm glad you mentioned it. It's definitely something I should revisit in my story and pitch. Thank you, Stacy!
Your revision helps me see how my original pitch is a bit wordy. Thank you for taking the time to offer feedback, Vivian!
sending you a virtual (and chocolate-smudged) hug, Susanna.
Now for Erin's pitch: I would def. read it. My only thought is maybe one favorite book he loves to death? And reads and re-reads. Then I can see him taking that book on some adventures and ending with a tattered, muddy page for book-sharing at school.
Oh my. I hope it all works out, Ms. Hill.
The book sounds great. I would definitely read it! 🙂
Susanna, I sure everything is okay with your kids.
I love the idea of a boy reading a book to pieces. Yes, I would read it!
Oh Susanna! Hoping and praying that
your kids are fine. Had to stop by to say that. Your yummy chocolate pic always makes me hungry and your words are a delight! I love Erin's pitch and would definitely read it.
Thanks, LL. I so appreciate your concern and your thoughtfulness in coming over. Thankfully, my kids are okay, but it's one of those but for the grace of God situations. Glad you enjoyed the chocolate and thanks for your thoughts for Erin!
Thank you, Rosi. My kids are okay, except that they have lost a friend. It's been a sad week. Thanks for your comments for Erin!
I'm glad you're enthusiastic, Erik – I'm sure Ms. O'Brien will be thrilled 🙂
Chocolate-smudged is the best kind 🙂 Thank you, Sue. And thanks for your helpful thoughts for Erin!
Thank you, Vivian. Such a terrible thing. Every time I think about it, I start to cry. My poor friend, Sarah. Thanks so much for your very helpful thoughts for Erin and your pitch re-wording!
Thank you, Stacy. I know they have to grow up and leave the house, but gosh it would be wonderful if there was a way to keep them safe always! Thanks so much for your helpful comments for Erin!
Thank you, Joanne. I'm on the periphery, fortunately – it is my friend Sarah who has the difficulties. I'm sad on her behalf, and because my kids have lost a friend. Thanks so much for your suggestions for Erin!
Thank you for the cyber chocolate, Andrea. It's helping already 🙂 And thanks for your thoughts for Erin!
Thank you for the hugs, Penny. And thanks for your helpful thoughts for Erin!
Thank you, Angela. That means so much. And one day when Chipmunk is old enough to drive, make her promise to never ever drive at excessive speeds. Thanks so much for your helpful thoughts for Erin!
Thank you, Stacy, you're very sweet. And thanks so much for your thoughts for Erin and your helpful pitch rewording!
Thank you for the prayers and hugs, Kim. And thanks so much for your thoughts for Erin!
Thank you for your comments for Erin, Maria, and go get Something Chocolate right away quick 🙂
Thank you for your enthusiasm for Erin, Wendy. I'm sure she's thrilled!
Thanks for the feedback, Sue!
Thanks for your kind words, Erik!
Thank you, Rosi!
Thanks for taking the time to read it!
Yes, I would read it because I'd like to see what Emmett says to the class and how he handles the situation. I love the idea of a book he loves that much. It sounds like there's potential for character development and growth, too.
Hope all is well with the kids now, Susanna! Hugs!
As for Erin's pitch, I would certainly read it! She had me at “favorite book” what a relatable experience!
Sounds interesting. the pitch almost sounds like 2 books – one about loving a book to pieces and one about a book report. So tying those together would make it stronger and clearer. Also saw this on PW today: Charlesbridge pages through the season with The Boy & the Book by David Michael Slater, illus. by Bob Kolar, the tale of a boy who loves a particular library book a little too much;
So sorry to hear about your children's friend, Susanna.
Oh what a NEAT idea. I like stories that take sayings and play with them literally… (Amelia Bedelia anyone?????) and this sounds very cute. I would DEF want to read this. I think it's smart too, because the people that you're usually pitching too are book lovers as well, so you've already connected with them in some ways, because they can probably relate! My only comment might be this: I'm wondering if you can do some quick showing instead of telling with the line: “Going on daily adventures with a little boy will do that to a book.” Can you maybe give a one or two word example? “Making sandcastles and climbing trees alongside a little boy will do that to a book.” I'm sure you'd do it better than that, but I wanted to give an example. Just a thought though, it's a great pitch as it is!!!
I just want to thank everyone for their helpful feedback. This was such a fun opportunity and great experience. Many thanks to Susanna & her readers!
For my part you are very welcome, Erin! We are so lucky to have such a great bunch of helpful, generous readers over here 🙂
Thanks so much for your helpful suggestions for Erin, Erika! 🙂
Well, they always say there are no new ideas 🙂 Thanks so much for helping Erin out, Lauri!
Thanks so much for chiming in for Erin, Elaine!
Thanks so much for your enthusiasm for Erin's pitch, Alisha – I know she'll be thrilled 🙂
I can totally relate to young Emmett. I would definitely want to read this story to find out what his favorite book was and how he put it back together in his own words to share it with others. Great idea!
Thanks so much for your enthusiasm for Erin, Shar – I'm sure she'll be thrilled 🙂