Would You Read It Wednesday #223 – Grizzie Moon Does NOT Like Cats! (PB)

Happy Wednesday, Everyone!

Can you believe August is almost upon us?  How did THAT happen???!!!

August is traditionally the month I take a blogcation, which means today will be our last meeting until Wednesday September 7 when we return with Would You Read It and the June and July Pitch Picks – it will be a big day!!! 🙂

For now, though, let’s celebrate the almost beginning of our August vacation with Something Chocolate.  How does gooey, delicious, warm Chocolate Chip Pie sound?  With a scoop of vanilla ice cream for extra deliciousness calcium and protein? 🙂

Chocolate Chip Pie

YUM!

The good thing about warm, gooey, deliciousness?  No crumbs in your keyboard 🙂

Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Amy.  Born and raised in Louisville, KY, Amy has earned two degrees in English and an MFA in Creative Nonfiction. Naturally, she writes picture books. She tests her picture book ideas on her two kids (ages 9 and 12) and her kid-like husband (age 47). Sometimes her two dogs offer their opinions. She’s really looking forward to your reader’s opinions, too!

Find her on the web at:
AmyMMiller1@twitter.com
https://www.facebook.com/ADDledliving/
AmyMMiller.com

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Grizzie Moon Does NOT Like Cats!

Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 3-7)

The Pitch: When Bob the cat destroys Grizzie Moon’s extraordinary ghoul stew, he must find a way to save the recipe and win the favor of this persnickety witch before her Stitch and Witch Club arrives.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Amy improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)

 

Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read It in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above.  There are openings in October, so you have a little time to polish your pitch before putting it up for helpful feedback and have a chance to have it read by editor Erin Molta!

Amy is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to spending the next couple weeks visiting with my sister and her family who are here from Georgia, and hopefully, maybe, working on some projects that I haven’t had enough time to finish up!

Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!!   And a wonderful, relaxing, enjoyable August!!!  See you after Labor Day 🙂

 

32 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #223 – Grizzie Moon Does NOT Like Cats! (PB)

  1. ThisKidReviewsBooks says:

    Oh boy! I’m one of the first commenters! (I think.) 😉 That looks like an awesome pie – I want to try it! 🙂

    Okay – I would read the book. But the pitch seems a tad short. What you have is, in my opinion, a perfect introduction. I think it would be better to add something similar to this after “trouble is brewing”:

    Grizzie Moon is trying to brew her famous broiled newt-eye stew, when a pesky cat (kitten?) pokes it’s puffy head into the production. Grizzie Moon tries to get the cat away by X, Y, Z, and ends up ruining (?) her stew! Can she fix the stew all by herself? (or whatever your ending is. 🙂 )

    Maybe just as an idea, have Grizzie Moon enter a cooking contest, so there are stakes if her stew doesn’t get finished. Just suggestions! I’m only a kid. 🙂

  2. Genevieve Petrillo says:

    I agree with Eric. Definitely too short. But YES, I would definitely read it. I can’t resist a witch book. Ever! The witch and cat are pretty self-explanatory, so more about the stew would be a good place to concentrate for starters. What’s up with it? Is the cat going in?? *gulp* Does the cat interfere with the witch getting ingredients or is it underfoot while she works? Is the stew supposed to cook itself?? Good luck with this. It’s a keeper.

  3. kathalsey says:

    This is an evergreen topic and kids love cats and witches, so good topic choice. Eric seems to be on to a more complete story. What I see your pitch as now is an outline. personalize it more and yes, give us the stakes, ‘er, ah, stew. Susanna, enjoy your much deserved August!

  4. Melissa Rutigliano says:

    Hi Susanna, My pitch pick the May was a winner-Walking With Memphis-but I never heard any response/comments on my pitch. Can you help to advise? I’ve been on hold with submissions and querying until I can get some great feedback. Thanks

    Melissa Rutigliano

    >

  5. ptnozell says:

    Susanna, glad you squeezed in a Cat pitch before the Dog Days of August! Enjoy the respite – will need to think up a way to start my Wednesdays.

    Amy, yes, I definitely would read this, but I agree with those who commented already that we need more tidbits to juice up the stew, er, pitch.

  6. Pizzos3.com says:

    First time posting and I love the concept of “Would You Read It”.😊 I like the pitch, but I agree, it left me wanting a bit more. Maybe one quick line to connect the dots of witch, cat, stew. I also would like a better word choice for stew. Maybe Cauldron. Is this the format provided by the author or blogger because Jane Yolen recommends this format. I don’t use it in my pitches but I see it works and may start. Thanks for letting me share. ~Blessings

  7. Pj McIlvaine says:

    I agree with the other comments. The pitch is way too short. The stew bit feels out of place. I too am a fan of witches so yes, I would read this. Great title too.

  8. Amy M. Miller says:

    Hi Everyone,
    I appreciate the feedback. This pitch is a twitter pitch, hence the short length. I have a query letter and probably should have submitted that instead. I have participated in several Twitter pitch contests and want to make sure that my pitch is enticing and original. With that in mind, what do you think?
    If you want more details about the story, I’m happy to pique your interest . . .
    Thanks again!!!
    Amy

  9. Sherry Howard says:

    Amy, yes, for a Twitter pitch that’s enticing. It tells enough to grab some interest. Although some always say pitch needs some stakes, I see pitches like yours (without stakes, more fun) get starred often. It sounds like a fun book. Can you think of a way to show the uniqueness of your book, even for the Twitter pitch? How is it deifferent from other witch/cat books already out there?

  10. Melissa Rutigliano says:

    OK I’ve read up a little on the above comments and yes, this changes the game if this is intended for a twitter pitch and not a query pitch. That would have us all looking at this very differently. Overall, I love the ‘trouble is brewing’…I think that’s a fantastic and intriguing way to end your pitch. But for a query, the rest is a little lacking. I’m a little confused on what the stew has to do with a cat who refuses to be ignored-this needs something to tie it together and help it make more sense. Good luck!

  11. Amy M. Miller says:

    Sherry, this is a longer (not Twitter, with stakes) version: When Bob the cat destroys Grizzie Moon’s extraordinary ghoul stew, he must find a way to save the recipe and win the favor of this persnickety witch before her Stitch and Witch Club arrives.

  12. pamelacourtney says:

    Now that’s a luscious dessert. Lord. Lord. Lord, I want some of that. No, pile more on my saucer, please!

    I enjoyed the structure of this pitch. Your list of events. One moves you to the next one. The way your “list” shows the results, so to speak. However, as other have mentioned, your list of events show no connection with the stew. More info is needed. But do keep this structure. Just a thought. Oh, YES, I WOULD READ IT. It is intriguing.

  13. Sue Heavenrich says:

    It sounds intriguing – so I would read more. But like others have pointed out, it seems very short. Maybe another sentence. I love the “stitch & witch” club!

  14. ingridboydston says:

    Hi Amy! Knowing it’s a Twitter pitch makes this make sense. I get a feeling for the characters, the setting, the conflict and the stakes- pretty impressive for a tweet! Yes, I’d elaborate for a query pitch. I hope to read the whole story soon! On a separate note- oh my goodness, that pie! Yum!

  15. Pam Miller says:

    Amy, I would read this cute, fun story. Although, yes, it’s short, you have the elements. If cat does A, then he must do B, because of C and before the Club arrives. This pitch tells me that Bob probably does reach his goal, but with a persnickety witch, it won’t be easy or boring.

    However, the word DESTROYS confused me. Was the stew destroyed or was the recipe that he must save destroyed? Did Bob slurp most of the stew and then needed the recipe to make more?

    The Pitch: When Bob the cat destroys Grizzie Moon’s extraordinary ghoul stew, he must find a way to save the recipe and win the favor of this persnickety witch before her Stitch and Witch Club arrives.

  16. Jessica Carnevale Forcier says:

    Amy,
    This pitch immediately drew me in! I would definitely read this story. Sounds adorable and turns the typical witch/cat relationship on it’s head. I also like that it has something for children and adults. I enjoy a pb that appeals to all readers i.e. The Stitch and Witch reference. So cute! Overall sounds like a great story!

    • Amy M. Miller says:

      Thanks so much, Jessica!

      Pam, I changed the word “destroys” to “ruin.” Thanks for catching that.

      Thank you, everyone, for your kind, thoughtful, and wildly helpful feedback. Have a fantastic weekend.

  17. Nadine Poper (@NadinePoper) says:

    Amy, as an elementary librarian, I would read this book based on this pitch. I appreciate how you want to draw in the adult audience with the Stitch and Witch Club since many adults do the reading aloud of picture books.
    Susanna, thank you for this WYRI Wednesday idea!

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s