Would You Read It Wednesday #237 – No More Turnips! (PB) PLUS Straight From The Editor

Wowza!

Do you know what today is?

It is National Hot Toddy Day!

I know!

I couldn’t believe it myself!

Even at my ripe old age, I didn’t actually know what a hot toddy was…  Shocking, isn’t it?!  After all those British mystery novels and medieval adventure novels and whatnot where people constantly return damp and bedraggled from harrowing adventures on the rain- and wind-swept moors and require hot toddies to restore them to health!  I had to look hot toddy up last night to discover that it is hot tea mixed with honey, lemon, and/or herbs… and whiskey (or I suppose some other form of alcoholic pizzazz.)

Honestly, I was disappointed.  Hot toddy sounds so good and cozy and delicious, doesn’t it?  But all it turns out to be is a cup of tea with a slosh of alcohol in it which really does nothing for me.

So.  We’re going to have a new kind of hot toddy to celebrate National Hot Toddy Day.  It shall be a Blueberry Hill Hot Toddy.  And this is what it shall be:

Dark Belgian hot chocolate, topped with a generous dollop of whipped cream, sprinkled with dark chocolate curls!

Doesn’t that sound SO much better than tea with whiskey in it?! At least for breakfast…?! 🙂

So go make yourself a Blueberry Hill Hot Toddy to celebrate the day! 🙂

Now then.  What with the Halloweensie and Holiday Contests and the holidays themselves, the Would You Read It schedule has been knocked a little off the rails.

But lo and behold, we do in fact have Straight From The Editor today for October!

Can I have a Woo Hoo?

WOO HOO!!!

You will recall (well, actually you may not recall since it was so long ago! 🙂 ) that the October Pitch Pick was won by Michele with her PB pitch for When Sheep Fall Asleep.

The Pitch: All Sam wants to do is stay up late. His parents agree to a deal: If he gets into bed and counts sheep all the way up to ten, then he can stay up all night. But the sheep aren’t cooperating, and once the monkeys, elephants, chickens, and even hyenas start crowding in, it’s all Sam can do to keep his room from turning into a zoo!

Here are editor Erin Molta’s comments:

This seems like it’ll be cute! For the pitch, however, I would end on the falling asleep bit, so instead of his room turning into a zoo, you should go more in the direction of “it was all Sam could do to keep his eyes open…

 Best of luck!

As always I find Erin’s comments so interesting, insightful and helpful!  I hope you do too!

Before we get to today’s pitch, I believe we all need Something Chocolate to sustain and energize us!  How do you feel about Dark Chocolate Cake?

I have to say, I feel pretty good about it.  Possibly good enough for a second…and third… slice!  Really.  We need to keep our blood sugar at an optimal level so we can be productive members of the writing community! 🙂

Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Robin.  Robin leads the children’s departments of Midwestern public libraries providing reference and literacy foundations to the smallest patrons and supporting their parents. Mid life, she was called to ordained ministry as a parish pastor. She continues to read to children as a volunteer in developing countries and writes stories to read and read again! Robin is represented by Cyle Young of Hartline Literary Agency.

Find her on the web at
www.robincurrie.net
https://www.facebook.com/Pastorrobinsnest/

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: No More Turnips!

Age/Genre: Humorous Picture Book (ages 4-8)

The Pitch: The Three Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf have grandchildren now. The youngest grandwolf, Frank, is tired of turnips and determined to get a pork chop dinner. His plans are hog tied by the Three Little Grandpigs who have just the cure for ham hock hankering.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Robin improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)

 

Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read It in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above.  There are openings in February, so you could get your pitch up pretty soon for a chance for helpful feedback and a possible read by editor Erin Molta!

Robin is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to my visit from the insurance adjuster being over.  Poor Princess Blue Kitty (my trusty Subaru Outback for those of you who don’t know her) had an unfortunate run-in with a stone wall on Friday due to a hidden patch of ice.  She has been injured, and awaits the judgment of the insurance adjuster before she can be patched up.  She has been Very Brave, but I’m sure she would appreciate it if anyone wanted to write a nice poem or song about her 🙂  She might even award a prize or a token of her favor 🙂

It will not be a traditional hot toddy!

Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! 🙂

 

32 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #237 – No More Turnips! (PB) PLUS Straight From The Editor

  1. Genevieve Petrillo says:

    Poor Princess Blue Kitty
    Slipped on the ice!
    Adjust her, Adjuster,
    And help her look nice.

    Best of luck with the insurance visit. And the body shop. And the ice. And the rental car. Ugh.

    A wolf eating turnips is irresistible to me, so yes, I would read this. My question is – are there parallels to the original 3 Little Pigs story throughout? If not, these characters don’t have to be related to the originals at all. They could be 3 little random pigs and a big bad random wolf. Either way, the only sentence that seems heavy is the opening sentence. I don’t know how to fix it, but if it’s necessary and if you can, try and mix it into the rest of the pitch so it isn’t just sitting there. Good luck with this. It sounds adorable.

  2. Norah says:

    I would love to read this, Robin. I love the idea of the three pigs and the wolf being grandparents. I smiled just at the thought of it. Great idea.

  3. ptnozell says:

    Oh my! Poor Blue Kitty!

    Poor Blue Kitty,
    Between a rock and a hard place
    As she saved her b’loved driver;
    So all will be well,
    We’ll be able to yell,
    Long before Groundhog Day.

    Robin, I would read this, but I agree with Genevieve about the first sentence. Unless you show how/why being grandchildren is relevant, I’d rather the lead in focus on what I see as a new slant to your version – the turnips. Is Mama or Papa (or even Gran) too focused on healthy eating? Are the wolves craving good old-fashioned fatty pork chops as a result?

    Good luck with this! And Susanna, I hope Blue Kitty recovers soon!

  4. julielacombeauthor says:

    I love fractured Fairy Tales, but agree with the others, there needs to be moire to tie them together. I love the premise and would definitely read it. A family of vegan wolves but ones wants pork chops!

    Glad you werenrt hurt in your misshap!

  5. kathalsey says:

    Very original concept. Agree about the intro sentence. Maybe leave it out unless these is some backstory about why it matters that they are all the grandkids. Love your word play, too. Stay safe, Susanna, and so sorry about your dear Blue Kitty.

  6. Jen Bagan says:

    Princess Blue Kitty crashed into a wall
    Her owner, Susanna, wanted to bawl
    All the mechanics and body shop guys
    Fixed her right up after 23 tries!

    Really hope it doesn’t take 23 tries to fix her up! Best of luck 🙂

    I’m also intrigued with this concept and would read the book. Like the others, I do agree there needs to be a clear tie-in with the original story if it’s mentioned in the pitch. I think it could be cute to have the tie-in … the pigs and wolves have had a truce for all this time and things are going well. Until Frank decides he’s had enough of turnips …! Best of luck!

  7. David McMullin says:

    I always pictured a hot toddy as a toffee or caramel flavored drink. I don’t know where that came from, but I am choosing to ignore this knew knowledge you’ve given us and believe in warm, buttery, thick, creamy yummyness (and your version sound really nice too).

    Yes, I would read this. It sounds cute and fun, and I can see the possibilities for an interesting twist on the original. Being a fractured fairy tale, it needs to reference the original, but since others are finding the first sentence to be too much, maybe, “The Big Bad Wolf’s youngest Grandwolf is tired of turnips …” That cuts it down a bit, but keeps the reference. At the end, “his ham hock hankering” reads better to me. Good work.

  8. Melissa Rutigliano says:

    Yes! I would read this. I think the pitch is pretty fantastic! My only stump was the first sentence-I think this could flow better by combining it with the 2nd, however I do still feel it’s very important to still mention it the way you did so that we know right off the bat the fairy tales these are referencing.

  9. Kathryn Rammell says:

    Love the pitch! I would pick it up in a heartbeat. The puns are clever and leave me wanting more. I like the idea of it being the grandchildren but I agree with David McMullin’s recommendation.

    As for poor Princess Blue Kitty, perhaps a haiku to cheer her up…

    Sneaky slick ice patch
    Quick thinking, brave car indeed
    Saving Susanna

  10. Judy Sobanski says:

    I would read this! Love the idea of this twist on the original 3 Little Pigs. I like David’s suggestion to make the first line shorter and simply reference the original story. I am very curious how the new generation of pigs deal with the pork chop craving wolf! Good Luck!

  11. Wendy says:

    I am sorry to read about Blue Kitty’s boo-boos, but glad that you are okay!

    Space in a pitch is precious. I’m with other readers, wondering if it matters that these characters had famous storybook relatives? And perhaps the final sentence can be reworded so it doesn’t give the story away? Ex. Something like:The Three Little Grandpigs must find the proper recipe to cure Frank’s ham hock hankering before they become main courses instead of neighbors. Good luck!

  12. Susan Schade says:

    I would read it. I especially love the title which draws me in but doesn’t reference the wolves or pigs so that’s a nice surprise. I agree with what the others say about the first sentence needing to be stronger but I also wanted a little more detail about the story in the last sentence. Something like, “The grandpigs will need to (three things that they will try or need to do) in order to escape grandwolf’s turnip free BBQ.”
    I am also wondering if the story is coming from the wolf or the pigs’ point of view.
    Fun idea! Good luck!

  13. ingridboydston says:

    Oh gee, now I want a hot toddy (Blueberry Hill Style) AND chocolate cake! But its bedtime here so… I guess I wait for breakfast! Yum!
    As others have mentioned, I would clarify “why turnips” if that’s going to be in the pitch. It confused me right of the bat. But I think the grandkid take on the fairy tale is fantastic, especially with the whole Disney Descendants thing going on. ( I haven’t seen it but I know it’s big) Its just kind of funny, the idea of reading to your kids about the kids of characters you read about as a kid…if you follow me. Have fun with this and thanks for sharing!

  14. jeanjames926 says:

    Hi Robin sorry I’m a bit late to your pitch. I really like the idea of a next generation story, but agree with the others above that it doesn’t necessarily have to be told to us in the first sentence. I’m guessing the wolves turned to turnips after the unfortunate incident in their past, perhaps grandwolf has some history lessons to learn. Good luck on your story!
    Susanna first I just love the words hot toddy, your delicious recipe however makes me want to throw a splash of Baileys Irish Cream into it (Sorry more whiskey). As for Princess Blue Kitty, so sorry to hear the bad news, but thankful you weren’t hurt. I wrote a little poem from PBK’s perspective.

    January wasn’t so nice,
    while slippin’ on the slidin’ ice,
    I spun not once, but twice, then trice.
    A winter’s Princess sacrifice.

    My blue frame crushed in rock wall’s vice.
    I’m waiting on adjusters price.
    If I could talk, here’s my advice:
    think twice before you drive on ice!

    Leave me alone, I will suffice,
    while you stay home all snug and nice,
    by fireside to be precise,
    perhaps to sip hot tea with spice.

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