Hello, Everyone!!!
Welcome back!
What a summer it has been!
Crazy and busy with family matters of various kinds, both good and not so good, bridal shower and wedding plans, and a new puppy!
The puppy, as it turns out, is a full time job. I’ve had puppies before – 4 others, actually – and I know what kind of work is involved, but this one is in a category by herself. A rescue who was feral for her first 4+ months, she clearly had some traumatic experiences that have left her terrified of people. So, she’s a work in progress but a nice new friend for me and Scout 😊
As we gear up for the new school year of blogging, I have a question for you.
How does everyone feel about the current weekly features – Tuesday Debut, Would You Read It Wednesday, and Perfect Picture Book Friday? I find I have a lot of openings – Would You Read It in particular is forlornly unsubscribed at the moment. After today, I don’t have anyone signed up for the fall. And there are quite a few openings in Tuesday Debut as well.
If everyone wants to continue these features, great! Please feel free to sign up!
If everyone is tired of these features and longs for something new, please let me know! I’m happy to try new things and I want to provide what is most useful to you. If you have ideas for something you’d like to see instead of what is currently on offer (because I know WYRI and PPBF are long-running features and maybe you don’t find them so interesting anymore. . .) speak right up! 😊 I look forward to hearing your thoughts!
In order to aid your thinking on the matter, how about Something Chocolate?
Mint Chocolate Chip Frozen Dessert
Recipe HERE at Sweet Spicy Kitchen
I think Oreo Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream Cake is a nice mix of summery and chocolate-y goodness 😊
Plus, it has mint, which is a kind of vegetable, so it is technically very healthful 😊
Dig in!
Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Lindsey. Lindsey is a writer of short stories and children’s picture books. She lives in Southwest Missouri with her husband, daughter, two dachshunds, and six chickens. When not writing, you can find her canoeing, camping, or lounging with her hound dogs.
Find her on the web at:
Twitter: @lindseybhobson
Facebook: www.facebook.com/lindseybhobson
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: The Wind Keeper
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: On Jenny’s eighth birthday, Papa tells her that she comes from a long line of Wind Keepers. Together they harness the power of the wind to change the seasons and send kites flying high. But when Papa suddenly passes away, her world becomes still. Jenny must find the strength to overcome her grief and bring the wind back to the valley.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Lindsey improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above. There are openings starting next week!, so you could get your pitch up very soon for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta!
Lindsey is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts on the blog features here and what you’d like to see!
Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! So glad to see you all again!!! 😊
Susanna Leonard Hill 
Maybe. It depends on if how the passing of the father is handled.
Thanks for your comment! I feel like it’s handled lightly. In an earlier draft my critique group didn’t even realize he passed away, so they helped me develop that part a little. He is ill one day and she must carry out her wind keeper duties on her own, a few days pass this way until she hears the wind howl and knows he is gone.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with Lindsey, Susan!
Hi Susanna, it’s been quite a spring/summer here too! Good luck with the new pup and congratulations on the upcoming wedding. I like all 3 of your weekly features and am letting a few recent debut friends know they should reach out to you.
Lindsay, I’m a yes because I like the magical quality your pitch evokes. I’m assuming the death will be ‘off screen’ or before the action of the story which is typical for picture books and even MG. Best of luck with this story.
Thank you! The death is handled lightly without specific details. He is ill one morning and she must carry out the wind keeper duties by herself. A few days pass then she hears the wind howl and knows he is gone.
Lindsey, I see autocorrect changed the spelling of your name in my first comment. 🤦🏼♀️ Sorry about that. I guessed that you had handled the death with a light touch which is great.
Thank you so much for your support of my blog, Laura – I so appreciate it! And thanks for your helpful comments for Lindsey!
Ooooh, yes! I would read it! It sounds engaging, love the wind aspect and the family “job” of being wind keepers. I too am curious about how the father passes and what that looks like in the story. But other than that one concern, and it might not be a concern at all, I love the idea of this story. 🙂
Thank you! The death is handled lightly without specific details. He is ill one morning and she must carry out the wind keeper duties by herself. A few days pass then she hears the wind howl and knows he is gone.
Sounds great!
Thank you for your enthusiastic response to Lindsey, Angie!
Welcome back, Susanna. Cute puppy. 🙂 I would read this. The Wind Keepers concept sounds very interesting. It sounds like it could be a longer story, perhaps middle grade. Good luck!
Thank you for your comment. Making it a middle grade novel has crossed my mind!
Lovely to “see” you, Greg! She is a very cute puppy, but quite the problem child! One day at a time… 😊 Thanks for your helpful comments for Lindsey!
Hi Susanna, sorry for my delayed response. My account was messed up. When I’d reply, I’d get prompted for a password and mine wouldn’t work. I finally have that resolved. I hope you are doing well.
Can’t complain 😊 Hope all’s well with you, now that you’ve got your account working again! Happy New Year!
WWYRIW is my FAVORITE. I’ve put some PBs on the back burner as I’ve been doing an MG series of late, but will try to submit more asap.
The Wind Keepers premise is SO good. The opening lines are concise, engaging, and have good flow. The logic break comes when Papa dies and the wind stills. If she’s part of the family why can’t she do anything already? It may be in the story, but I’d like a hint in the pitch of why her family-based (genetic? trained? both?) skills are stymied.
Thanks for the suggestion! After he passes away she can’t make herself return to their workshop for awhile and the wind stops. She does eventually return but it takes her learning how to manage her feeling first.
Thanks, Katie! I’m so glad you like WYRI! And you can submit pitches for any age of kidlit – MG, YA – all good! It just so happens that the majority of pitches are for PB. Thank you for your very helpful thoughts for Lindsey!
Such a busy summer you’ve had, Susanna! Congratulations on the new puppy & the upcoming wedding.
Re the weekly schedule, I always read & generally comment on the pitches. I learn so much from the comments! I also contribute to PPBF, have met many fellow reviewers as a result, and found many new picture books to read.
Lindsey, I like the fantasy aspect of a wind catcher. I’m curious, though, whether Jenny’s age is an integral aspect of the story; if not, I don’t think I’d lead with that. I’m also curious whether the idea of wind catching is tied to any particular region or culture. If so, I’d hint at that in the pitch. Finally, with a death involved, I also think the targe age range could be older.
I hope these comments help as you revise the pitch!
Thanks so much for your suggestions, especially on the age range. I like the idea of searching for wind catching traditions, I will see what I can find.
Thanks, Patricia! I hope you had a lovely summer! I know you are a devoted fan of WYRI and PPBF and I’m glad you still enjoy them! I worry that people will get bored! Thanks so much for your helpful thoughts for Lindsey!
Hi Susanna! I love good news! Yay for a new puppy! They are so cuddly and cute.
I would definitely read this book. You have a very interesting pitch. I have a few concerns though:
Unless there is some particular plot point in your story dealing with the girl’s 8th birthday, I wouldn’t lead with that.
I’m not sure about the age group 4-7. That strikes me as kind of young for a book dealing with death depending on how you handled it. Having said that, a book that can deal with the death of a close family member can be really useful and helpful for parents.
I love the title of your story and how it conjures a really magical vibe. Good job!
Thank you for your comment! When she turns eight she’s finally old enough to learn about their family legacy, before that she was not allowed into his workshop. Knowing that would you still suggest removing that part? I appreciate any feedback! The pitch is so important!
This puppy certainly is a cuddlebug with me, Eileen! She’s terrified of every other person she meets, but we’re working on that! Someday she will hopefully come to believe in her little puppy heart that she is safe now and not all people are out to hurt her. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments for Lindsey!
I love all three of your days Susanna. So glad you are helping an abandon dog. Lindsey I really like your pitch for your story THE WIND KEEPER. I imagine all kinds of possible outcomes. I thought like Gregory did that it may also be a bit older type of story. Maybe a chapter book. But I also believe you can still make this a picture book. Good Luck!
Thank you!
Aw, thanks, Deb! I’m so glad you enjoy the blog. And I’m glad I have the opportunity to give Violet a home. I hope someday soon she will start to believe she is safe now and doesn’t have to be afraid of everyone she meets. Thanks for your thoughts for Lindsey!
Susanna- I do enjoy the Wednesday pitch posts and read them and the comments to help my own pitch writing. I also try to participate in the Perfect Picture Book Fridays when possible to learn about new titles. Thanks for both of these features!
Lindsey- I would read this book because it sounds unique and interesting. My first thought in reading the pitch was that they had to control the wind, not that they were using or borrowing the wind. It might have been the word “harness” that caused the confusion. Perhaps you could put something in the pitch that gives a hint as to why the wind does not exist without the wind keepers. I also agree with what others have said about not needing her age in your pitch. Good luck!
Thank you, that’s very helpful!
I so appreciate your participation in WYRI and PPFB, Rose! I know you always show up for those features! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with Lindsey!
I would be excited to read this book to my kids! I love the idea of Wind Keepers and I think that our children are more resilient and curious about the topic of death than we give them credit for. I think some pitches can give away too much of a story, but this one makes me want to know more about how the Wind Keepers harnesses the wind, what the valley is like. My one suggestion would be to name the valley in the pitch, possibly even indicate how long Jenny’s family has lived there if there have been generations of Wind Keepers in the same valley. Good luck!
Thank you for the nice comments! I think it’s a great idea to add that generations have lived there.
Great concept and theme, but I think I’d raise the age range a little.
Susanna, I am not sure what advice I’d give for the upcoming blogging season, since I am a sporadic reader/joiner/commenter, but A PUPPY!! Woot! That is what I’m talking about. SO EXCITING. She is super cute, and it’s definitely a good sign that Scout didn’t eat her. What’s her name? Congratulations and good luck!
Thank you!
Susanna, I’m a huge fan of Tuesday Debut and PPBF. I’m less consistent with checking in for WYRI Wednesdays, but I love that you offer it up for everyone. Getting that pitch right is so important. Good luck with the wedding plans and the new puppy.
Lindsey, great title. I would definitely read this. You give us just enough information to make us want to find out more.
Thank you!
Thanks Susanna! You always amaze me with the great posts you offer! 🙂
I like the concept and overall I think the pitch is pretty solid! The only thing I noted was some ambiguity in the time frame – leading with “on her eighth birthday” led me to focus on that day, which in turn made it sound to me like he possibly died that same day (which seems unlikely from the rest of the context).
Hope that helps, and best of luck!
Thanks! That’s very helpful!