We’ve got a busy Would You Read It schedule today!
First, in the closest vote we’e ever had, with the winner one point ahead of second, and second one point ahead of third!, the winner of the April Pitch Pick was Sierra with her PB pitch for The Bug Battle Circus.
The winner of the April/May/September Pitch Pick was Lindsey with her PB pitch for The Wind Keeper.
Congratulations Sierra and Lindsey on your stellar pitching! Your pitches have been sent to editor Erin Molta for her thoughts and comments and I’m sure she’ll respond as soon as she is able!
Congratulations also to all our other pitchers! You all did a great job writing and revising your pitches, and you were brave to share your work for evaluation from your peers and so that we could all learn!
Thanks so much to all the talented, generous readers who take the time to read and comment on the pitches and help our pitchers out! And thanks to all of you for reading and voting!
I hope all of you feel that you ended up with stronger pitches than you started with!
Now, let’s do some more Pitch Picking so we catch up to where we should be!
First, the October 2020 Pitch Pick:
Please read and think over the pitches below and then vote for the one you think is best and most deserving of a read and comments from editor Erin Molta in the October 2020 Pitch Pick Poll below by Sunday January 31 at 9PM.
1 – Eileen – Tree Monster Tea Party (PB 4-8)
With the BFF tea party any minute, a broken chair could mean disaster! Never fear, good-natured Bear is off to the rescue until he trips, and gets his head stuck a log! As more forest friends stop to help, the problem grows and grows to epic proportions! In this action-packed cumulative comedy, the kooky cast of characters learn that teamwork makes the dream work and, there’s more than one way to solve a problem
2 – Sandy – Little Blue (PB 3-6)
Pfffft! Normally, the sound of flatulence is associated with a balloon deflating, but it might be just the right thing to lift Little Blue’s spirits. Little Blue is down, dejected, and downhearted which is distressing when you’re a balloon! Little Blue’s buddies display real friendship when he’s dragging the ground. Green and Orange wedge Blue between them as they skip over the jump rope. Pink pulls him onto a swing to help him remember how to fly through the sky. Yellow pounds the ground with the teeter-totter, propelling Blue into the air. Friends and a bit of flatulence buoy him along as he struggles to get his float back.
3 – Katie – Imagine That: The Lion, Maria, and Brindy (PB 4-8)
Brindy’s never lonely thanks to the amazing characters she meets in books. Trouble is, Brindy can’t hide in the pages of books in class, at church, or during swim practice. But making real friends seems impossible amid all the talking, teasing, tiring activity. Then some lively characters appear and encourage Brindy to sing with confidence and speechify with courage. The unimaginable becomes possible and Brindy finally makes a true friend.
4 – Nicole – Dear Duchess (PB 4-8)
When her octopus stuffie, Duchess, moves to the ocean to pursue a lifelong dream of becoming a mermaid, Charley isn’t sure she’s brave enough to face the first day of school alone. Duchess and Charley comfort and cheer each other through letters until Duchess realizes that some things are even more precious than her magnifique new tail.
Finally, the November/December 2020 Pitch Pick:
Please read and think over the pitches below and then vote for the one you think is best and most deserving of a read and comments from editor Erin Molta in the November/December 2020 Pitch Pick Poll below by Sunday January 31 at 9PM.
1 – Patricia – Back To The Sea (Informational PB 4-8)
At sunrise on a lush, tropical island, an inquisitive child accompanies a huge cast of terrestrial hermit crabs as they scritchedy-scratch and clickety-clack on their annual journey to spawn in the sea. They face rocky terrain, hungry gulls, and larger animals that could crush them, but the crabs remain focused on their instinctive goal. This lyrical STEM manuscript is Hawk Rising set in the Caribbean.
2 – Diana – Little Witch Zooming Broom (PB 4-8)
Look up! There she zips again. Now she’s off to Grandma’s house with her basket of Trick-or-Treat goodies. But when Werewolf tries to trick Little Witch Zooming Broom, he finds she has tricks of her own under her hat.
3 – Aundra – Gregory The Garbage Truck (PB 3-9)
GREGORY THE GARBAGE TRUCK loves his daily routine: Drive around/Clamp the bin/Lift it up/Dump it in. But his stench becomes too much and making friends is impossible. He tries washing and bouncing the trash off but he’s left smelling like old socks sprayed by a skunk and washed in dirty diapers. One evening at the dump his crusty clamper catches the eye of two rifling raccoons. They are excited to help Gregory clean up!
4 – Sarah – My Antler Is Missing (PB 4-8)
“MY ANTLER IS MISSING” Moose cries when he wakes and scratches his head. A mystery is afoot. Moose and his bestie Mouse head off on an adventure discovering clues and track prints. They romp through the winter forest chasing down possible thieves as they search for Moose’s missing antler.
Wow! Such hard choices! Thank you all for reading and voting! You have earned. . .
. . . your reward!
Here you go. Some DELICIOUS Frosted Peanut Butter Cookie Cups!
Frosted Peanut Butter Cookie Cups
Aren’t they just making your mouth water? Yum! Grab a glass of milk and help yourself to 2 or 3 or 5 😊
Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Mindy who says, “Due to the pandemic, I retired after 35 years working with developmentally delayed young children and their families. Writing children’s books is my next chapter.”
Find her on the web at:
Facebook: Mindy Meyer
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: Just Right For Jack Ambrose
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 3-8)
The Pitch: Jack Ambrose Kalabash wants everything to be just right, from his fly swatter collection hanging on the wall, to the seat he chooses on the bus, to even the sounds he hears or doesn’t hear throughout the day.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Mindy improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above. There are openings in March, so you could get your pitch up pretty soon for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta!
Mindy is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to Groundhog Day which is right around the corner! Phyllis and I are hoping for an early spring! (Mostly because we’ve had a week of very cold weather which is normal for January in New York but we still don’t like it! 😊)
Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! 😊
22 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #375 – Just Right For Jack Ambrose (PB) PLUS Pitch Winners And More Pitch Picks!”
MAYBE. I want to hear a little more. I like the premise. Jack sounds like someone who wants everything a certain way. I would love to hear a hint about what happens to him (conflict of some sort) and the resolution. Good luck, Jack Ambrose Kalabash (I love the name!)
Thank you for the feedback! I will expand.
Mindy, sounds like Jack is slightly OCD, so I’m intrigued. But please give us another 2 sentences so we know what he wants. (I guess we get the problem/obstacle, but what is it standing in the way of?)
Actually the reader will find that JAK has autism. I will expand and provide more information about his dilemma. Thank you!
Maybe. Jack sounds interesting yet I’m confused about the sounds he hears or doesn’t hear. I think I just need more info regarding his problem and solution.
The details about Jack are intriguing but there’s not plot turning point. What is his specific problem & how will he solve it?
Susanna, you are outdoing yourself this week with a pitch winner, two more monthly pitch picks, AND the announcement of the Valentiny contest! Whew! I truly hope there’s a super-sized helping of chocolate in your immediate future!
Mindy, I love the character set up of Jack in your pitch, including his name. But I agree with the others that readers want to know the problem that he faces and a clue to how he solves it. Great start – I look forward to reading more about Jack soon!
Yes I would read it. Now you just need to give us the obstacle or problem. I have a sister and good friend with OCD and we all need to understand the how they try to fit in and can’t help their issues. Good luck with this.
Hi, Mindy. Yes, I would love to read this. The fly swatter collection grabbed my attention. I feel like I need more of a conflict though, what problem the MC is facing. Right now he seems like a nice little guy who needs things in order. It sounds adorable! Best wishes!
So far, Jack sounds a little like ME! I don’t see his problem. #shouldibeworried Once you state that, give us a hint as to whether he solves it and/or how he solves it and/or if he doesn’t need to solve it… Good luck. I would definitely read this!
I was pulled in to wanting to read about Jack Ambrose Kalabash, but was left hanging! As others have said, you are off to a great start, but what about what he wants and how he goes about getting it. Two or three more sentences should do it. Good luck!
It seems that everyone has left the same suggestion. I need to include a little more information about his problem/dilemma. Many of you picked up that something was going on with Jack Ambrose. The reader will discover he has autism as described by his behaviors. Thank you all for your support and suggestions. I am new at this and all and any comments are welcomed. Thank You!
Definitely a MAYBE. I would like to know how these things affect him. Will he get mad, sad? Is there a conflict? I am new to this, so right now, that is my feedback. But, good luck and I am sure it will be great!
Thanks so much for your help! 😊
Aye matey, I be agreeing with what they other writers sez. There be no conflict in yer pitch. But the subject matter be certainly timely. We just needs a little more to go on with.
Mindy, I love that your MC Jack is particular about certain things. You mention that he is on the autism spectrum but I think many kids will relate to Jack and his preferences! As the others stated, I’d like to know what keeps him from having his day go perfectly and how does he resolve it. Best of luck!
Mindy, this sounds like a book that needs to be written.
Be sure to include in your pitch the ARC and more action words to give us the direction(conflict) and flavor of the story.
Can’t wait to read this!
YES. I like Jack’s quirkiness already and see looming disaster because things DO change.
I’m SO excited my pitch for the Wind Keeper was chosen as a pitch pick! Thank you Susanna and eveyone who voted!
This sounds like a great story, but the pitch leaves me wanting more. I think there are some great suggestions above. We need to know what the MC is up against and the stakes. But make sure to not give away the ending! Good luck!
I can’t add much to the above commenters – I would definitely want to read it with the addition of a plot point or conflict. Probably great marketability with the fly swatter collection and Jack’s autism. We need more books that address the topic.
As a wife of someone who needs everything to be PERFECT, I relate to your story, Mindy.
(My hubby is not autistic, just OCD). In your pitch, I don’t see a problem that’s hinted at so I would work on that. Best wishes to you as you move forward!
Mindy, I agree with the other comments about wanting more details. Just from that short portion, I would love to read Just Right For Jack Ambrose. Especially seeing your comment about his possible neurodiversity. Good luck as you put in more information and revise the pitch.