Howdy, Friends!
Here’s a little puzzler for first thing in the morning.
April is a big birthday month in my family, which prompts discussions of how likely it is people’s birthdays will land on Easter. I am well aware of the deep and important meaning of Easter and do not make light of it, but let’s face it: for kids it’s all about getting birthday presents AND jelly beans in the same day 😊
I googled a bit, but was quickly sent scurrying back to my rightful place by Scary Math. So, as is appropriate, I’m going anecdotal.
My dad’s birthday has been on Easter 3 times: 1962, 1973, and 1984. Perhaps Easter dates move in 11 year cycles? (How’s that for deductive reasoning? Take that, Scary Math!)
One of my daughters’ birthday has never fallen on Easter for her, but will in 2031. (I will not say how old she’s going to be because it is not polite to tell a lady’s age 😊)
My niece’s birthday is April Fool’s Day and her birthday landed on Easter in 2018 when she turned 14, and will again in 2029 and 2040. (There are those 11s again!) My nephew’s birthday fell on Easter 2 years before he was born when it wasn’t his birthday yet and isn’t due to land on that date again until 2066 when he will be 62 years old!
I, as you know, am extremely ancient, and yet my birthday has only landed on Easter once, the year I turned 9.
My deductions, based on the anecdotal evidence cited above, (and just try to stay with me on this because I know math and science simply aren’t for everyone and you should just not feel bad if your mind has a hard time with the acrobatic feats demonstrated by mine!), is that my next Easter birthday will be whenever Easter feels like it 😊
There will be extra credit for anyone who can guess the dates of my Dad’s, daughter’s, nephew’s, and my birthdays. The cat’s already out of the bag on my niece’s 🤣🤣
Now that I’ve limbered you up with mental calisthenics, let’s do a little celebrating, shall we? I am thrilled to announce the pitch winners that you all voted on last week! Woo hoo!!!
The Pitch Winners are . . . .
September 2021 – Hannah – The Good Wolf (PB 4-8)
October 2021 – Robin – I Am The Zookeeper (PB 3-7)
November/December 2021 – Melissa – Don’t Even Think About Lions! (PB 4-8)
January 2022 – Patti – Dragon Is Out Of Here (PB 4-8)
Congratulations, Hannah, Robin, Melissa, and Patti! Great job! Your pitches have already been sent to editor Erin Molta and I’m sure she will reply with her comments as soon as she can! We have a lot of Straight From The Editors to look forward to!
Congratulations to all our other pitchers, too! You all did a fabulous job presenting your pitches and then taking the feedback offered by our wonderful readers and using it to revise and improve. I hope everyone feels like a winner because I think you all ended up with stronger pitches!
I appreciate everyone who steps up to share because it gives all of us a chance to learn and improve our skills! So, thank you all!
All that math and excitement has rendered me slightly faint, so I think it’s time for Something Chocolate! Don’t these Easter Blossom Cookies (or Spring Blossom if you don’t celebrate Easter) look delicious? So springy! And, more importantly, so delightfully chocolate in the middle! 😊
Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Deborah. Deborah Foster is a mother, an architectural drafter, and a fantastic cook. She is a member of 12×12, Inked Voices, and SCBWI. She is always looking for more writing friends on Twitter. Follow her @DeborahClaytonF or check out her blog at www.deborahfosterbooks.com.
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: Little Camper’s Not-so-big Adventure
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: Little Camper can’t wait for her first big adventure! Will it be the Grand Canyon? Roaring Niagara Falls? When Little Camper’s first adventure bounces down dusty back roads to the Apron Museum, she’s ashamed to recount her travels to the other campers. But after a hurry-to-the-next-stop trip, Little Camper realizes that bumpy back roads and odd attractions might just be the perfect adventures for her.
So what do you think? Would you read it? YES, MAYBE, or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If you answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Deborah improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It, or on Would You Read It in the dropdown under For Writers in the menu bar above. There are openings immediately, so you could get your pitch up next week if you want for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on my editor Erin Molta!
Deborah is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to Easter weekend! 😊
Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! 😊
Susanna Leonard Hill 
Yes, I would read it just because I’m one of those people who like to visit the locations you may represent in your book. My kids are older but my grandkids would get a kick out of finding different educational treasures in the off-beaten path of life. The biggest riches of life are the back home locations with real people; like going to a diner where only the locals know or an out-of-the-way museum ex. The Jello Museum in Leroy NY. (where it was made) Learn all about Jello from its beginning history to the present. Good luck
Yes! This book is close to my heart because my dad would stop at every roadside marker or lookout point on our backroads vacations!
probably – the story premise is delightful. How about trimming the first two sentences so we get right into the action? “It’s Little Camper’s first big road trip! Nagra Fall? Grand Canyon? Up and down dusty bumpy roads all the way to – the Apron Museum?” Best wishes!
Great suggestion! Thank you!
Oh – I would definitely read that! Fun premise!
Susanna – your math made my brain yearn for chocolate! My dad has one of those floating birthdays also, so sometimes our Thanksgiving dinner ends with birthday cake! And my birthday always arrives with questions like “Were you a witch, a trick, or a treat?” 😉
Thank you Cathy!
Oh, yes, I would read it! We live in an RV. I’m intrigued because of the viewpoint of the camper and I love the idea of her fitting better with backroad adventures.
Thank you Angie!
You had me at camper lol! My daughter just left for science camp yesterday, so camp is fresh on my brain : )
I love the concept and the story sounds fun-filled and full of adventure. One thing that threw me though was calling the MC Little Camper. I thought it was cute in the title, but using that as a name made me pause every time I read it. I wonder if there’s a way you can keep it in the title so we know what the book is about, but still give the character a name? Or maybe just use it in the first sentence of the pitch and then switch to using she/her pronouns?
I was also a bit confused as to why she’d be on a separate adventure than the other campers since usually they go on trips/adventures together, so might be worth clarifying.
I think the last line could be tightened up a bit as well (why is she hurrying to the next stop? Is she hoping for more adventure, or are they on a tight schedule?):
“But after a hurry-to-the-next-stop trip, Little Camper realizes that bumpy back roads and odd attractions might just be the perfect adventures for her.”
Maybe instead, something like, “But after a series of fly-by sightseeing, LC realizes that bumpy back roads and odd attractions might just be the perfect adventures to spark her imagination” (or whatever, but maybe try to be more specific here about why they’re perfect for her).
Hope this helps, I would definitely buy this book!
Thank you for the wonderful suggestions and compliments, Katie!
Hi Deborah 🙂
I’m a maybe. I’m pretty sure there is more to this story than your pitch lets on. The pitch is 71 words with the first 20 telling us what she won’t see/do. It’s only the last 26 words that give us a hint of the journey the MC will take. With a little more intrigue as to what the adventure the MC is headed for I’d be on board!
I’m a yes! The premise is delightful! Good luck! 🙂
Happy April Birthdays, Susanna! Our busy month is March…which coincides with Easter also in some years!
Little Camper can’t wait for her first big adventure! Will it be the Grand Canyon? Roaring Niagara Falls? When Little Camper’s first adventure bounces down dusty back roads leading to the Apron Museum, she’s too embarrassed to mention her destination to the other campers. But after a hurry-to-the-next-stop trip, Little Camper realizes that bumpy back roads and odd attractions might just be the perfect adventures for her.
I have an apron collection so YES! But I agree with the suggestion to tighten up the pitch. Best of luck!
Happy birthday Susanna! There used to be an Easter chart in front of the hymnal- I would pour over it as a girl-pretty sure it only went up to the year 2000…😂! Enjoy your family❣️🎂
I’m a yes because this seems to be a unique premise. I’m a huge fan of ” bumpy back roads and odd attractions” – maybe specify a few more oddities to add to readers’ curiosity?
I am a probably. The bumpy backroads and odd attractions may need a bit more enticement to pull a reader in. Maybe more of a hint at how the odd attraction will connect to the message you want to get across. To make the stakes higher. Kids and adults love to camp. Perfect hook in.