The time has come, the walrus said, for the Halloweensie Contest Finalists to be revealed!!!
I can just feel the very air quivering with excitement!!!
Let me just say that I was bowled over – by both the number and the quality of the entries!!! I NEVER expected a turnout like this! I was so happy at the response and enthusiasm – really it was just wonderful! I had SO much fun going around to read each new entry as it was added to the list – each better than the last. I hope you all had as much fun with it as I did.
Now, I realize I said I’d try to narrow the field down to 3 finalists, but you all know I can pretty much never do that anyway 🙂 and that was before I knew there were 38 entries! And in this case there were so many great entries that cutting any of them was brutal! So after much hemming and hawing and gnashing of teeth and consulting with my lovely assistant, I have ruthlessly done away with more than 75% of the competition – much as it pained me! – and have left you less than a quarter to choose from (and that’s just as close as we’re going to get to correct percentages because math is not my thing!) And I’d like to say right up front that many of the entries that were cut I was EXTREMELY nitpicky about because I had to cut something! They were all excellent!
I also decided that since there were so many entries I should give a couple more prizes. So while the winner will still receive the fabulous 5 signed picture books, 2nd place will receive a $25 Amazon gift certificate, and 3rd place will receive a $15 Amazon gift certificate (which was the best I could think up on short notice! If anyone has a better idea, let me know :))
So, with GREAT FANFARE, here are the finalists! They were chosen on the basis of kid appeal and quality of story within 100 words – tough criteria. Please read through and then vote for your favorite by Thursday November 8 at 6 PM EST. In the interest of trying to help you be objective they are listed by title only – no author names for now (though of course if you have photographic memories and remember who wrote what I can’t help with the objectivity :))
I would also like to add that, for spookiness/creepiness, Renee (’round the moonlit town) and Sidney (The Last House) should receive honorable mention. And for the other 2 stories that I finally cut because I decided 10 finalists was just too many and these were a little more like character sketches than stories but still really, really good, honorable mention to Cathy (The Halloween Queen) and Lauri (No Trick-orTreating For Jack). But really – excellent job EVERYONE, and thank you all for providing us with such fantastic Halloween entertainment!
#1 Sneak-a-Sweet
There was a little witch
who kept a little bat
high upon the top
of her little pointy hat.
Every Halloween
when she would trick-or-treat,
the little bat would swoop right down
and grab an extra sweet.
The bat knew this was sneaky,
impolite and , yes, uncouth—
But when your home’s a witch‘s hat
you MUST tend her sweet tooth!
#2 The Witches of Fairy Top Hill
On Halloween eve up on Fairy Top Hill,
A trio of witches, Pam, Tamsin and Lil,
Were practicing magic and chanting out loud,
“Bat-candy, bat-candy…rain down from that cloud!”
“Kaput! and Kabob!” Pam invoked with a shout
The sky quickly filled with a hover of trout.
“Kibosh! and Pish-posh!” Tamsin yelled with finesse.
A chorus of frogs joined the fish-slippy mess.
Then bold Lil spoke up, “This is Trick-or-Treat night,
And children get candy and Turkish delight.”
Costumed as young children…with treat bags to fill,
The trio went guising, Pam, Tamsin and Lil.
#3 The Little Scaredy Witch
Chloe was a scaredy witch. She was scared of bats, jack-o-lanterns, and most of all, costumed trick-or-treaters. Her sister Mavis told her, “Don’t be a scaredy witch! You’re supposed to be the one scaring people on Halloween.” With Halloween days away, Chloe worried about the trick-or-treaters who would visit. Maybe she would hide until Halloween was over. She found a sheet, and draped it over her head. Mavis walked in and screamed. “You frightened me!” said Mavis. Chloe suddenly felt braver with her sheet. So on Halloween night, she wore the sheet and happily greeted trick-or-treaters at the door. “Boo!”
#4 Witch Party
The wee witchis very excited,
her pointed toes quiver with glee.
Today is the day
all the ghouls come to play.
This night will be super spooky.
Bent tree branches scratch at the windows,
carved pumpkins do flicker and scowl.
Dry leaves fly and swirl
as the batsstart to whirl,
cold wind swoops around with a howl.
Her cauldron glows green as it bubbles,
the wild creatures party all night.
No one on this street
dares to come trick or treat.
They’re all in a shivering fright.
#5 The Scariest Halloween
Ghost heard an eerie sound.
Hee-hee-hee-hee!
He trembled beneath his sheets.
Ding-dong-ding-dong
Ghost froze. “It’s probably just a bat,” he said.
He hid behind the curtain and peeked out his window.
Princesses, fairies, and superheroes roamed the streets singing, “Trick or treat!”
“How could I forget?” said Ghost.
He called Mummy, Skeleton, and Witch.
“It’s Halloween!”
They dashed out of their house.
“Boooo,” wailed Ghost.
“Muahahahaha,” cried Mummy.
“Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!” chattered Skeleton.
“Ack-yak-yak-yak,” shrieked Witch.
They scurried to the streets, running amuck until they reached their hiding place.
A banana whizzed by them. “This is the scariest Halloween ever!” said Ghost.
#6 Hallow’s Eve
#7 Halloween Drives Me Batty
Winifred stared at the calendar, “It’s Halloween!
Unimpressed, her black cat, Ebony, turned away and returned to slumber.
“I know witches are supposed to like Halloween. But I don’t. Halloween drives me batty. I never want to hear “trick-or-treat” again.”
Winifred grabbed her Spell Book and turned pages, “No . . . No . . . Not a chance . . . Hmm . . . Maybe . . . No . . . YES!”
Winifred chanted as she tossed ingredients into her cauldron:
Eye of Newt, Hair of Dog, Wing of Bat
Just for today . . . turn me into a Cat!
*POOF*
Winifred padded over to join Ebony for a cat nap, and purred, “Better catty, than batty.”
#8 JACK O’LANTERN
Jack O’Lantern was an orange-headed kid
With a very round face, a stem on his lid.
On Halloween night, Jack met an old witch.
He begged for a spell and presented his pitch.
“I want to trick-or-treat like a regular boy
In spooky attire. I love Almond Joys.”
Jack guzzled her brew, full of bat wings
And all sorts of other odd, horrible things.
“Jack?” Joe asked. “You’re as white as a ghost.”
“A witch threw a pumpkin. I thought you were toast!”
“My pumpkin head’s gone! I feel….BOO!” Jack haunted.
“Turning into a ghost was not what I wanted.”
I know! Tough choice, right? We need all the votes we can get! Ready, go!
If you managed to read the whole title of this post, you know we have a lot on the agenda for today! And it all has to do with dots – either directly or in a more roundabout way 🙂
We’ll start with Perfect Picture Books, which I like to put on top so it’s easy to find when people click over from the master list. I’ve chosen a book about a dog with spots… which are a lot like dots.
Next up will be my Dot for International Dot Day.
Finally, just when you think you can’t bear the suspense for another second, I will announce the winner of the Summer Send-Off Contest… before you go dotty! (OK. That was a reach :))
Ready? Set. GO!
Harry The Dirty Dog Written By: Gene Zion Illustrated By: Margaret Bloy Graham Harper & Row, 1956, Fiction
Suitable For: ages 3-8
Themes/Topics: bath time, behavior (rebelliousness), facing consequences, problem solving, animals (dogs) Opening: “Harry was a white dog with black spots who liked everything, except… getting a bath. So one day when he heard the water running in the tub, he took the scrubbing brush… and buried it in the back yard.”
Brief Synopsis: Harry doesn’t want a bath, so he hides the scrubbing brush and runs away. All day long he plays happily, getting dirtier and dirtier, until finally, when he returns home, he’s so dirty his family doesn’t even recognize him. What’s a dog to do?
Why I Like This Book: I not only like this book, I love it. I loved it as a child. I loved it with my children. I love it as a writer because to me it’s a story that does everything right. I think children (and adults :)) can relate to Harry’s story because we all have the urge to rebel from time to time but, like Harry, in the end what we want most is to be safe and loved… even if it means having a bath 🙂 The art is delightful, depicting Harry as lively and lovable, culminating in the sweet last page where Harry is curled up, happily asleep and dreaming, but leaving you to wonder whether he hid that scrubbing brush to make sure he was always clean so his family would always recognize him, or whether he hid it to avoid another bath any time soon 🙂
Moving on, it’s time to celebrate International Dot Day!
Following the lead of Patricia Tilton on her wonderful blog Children’s Books Heal, I am joining in on International Dot Day, based on Peter H. Reynolds’ picture book The Dot. The idea is to encourage people not to be intimidated and to create their own art in the form of a dot. This year over half a million people will participate – primarily children in classrooms – but lots of other people as well. Celebri-dots features dots created by well-known authors and illustrators. (Dot Day is actually September 15, but I don’t post on Saturday so mine is going up today :))
I am not particularly artistic, but I had an idea for a dot. The lovely and talented Beth Stilborn, whose computer skills leave mine in the dust, turned my idea into reality. Thank you, Beth! 🙂
My dot is about love.
Love comes in many shapes and sizes. For my daughter it comes in the shape of a polka-dot pony. The pony is not fancy or highly bred. She’s 14.1 hands* of fine, cinnamon chip fur, with a sturdy build, a velvet-soft nose, one brown eye and one blue, and though she might not appear to be anything special, she owns my daughter’s heart. And it just so happens that two of those cinnamon dots that sprinkle her fur so liberally are heart shaped. I am not making this up. You can see one of them in the dot 🙂 * (for those who might not be horse people, a hand is the unit of measure for horses and is equal to 4″. 14.1 hands means that the pony stands 57″ at the withers.)
And just for fun, another dot… 🙂
Here is the special pony those dots and that heart belong to 🙂
my daughter counted the pony’s spots one day and in case you’re wondering, she has 791! 🙂
and the poem my daughter wrote about her:
Chestnut, chestnut, chestnut spots
Appaloosa polka-dots.
How many little chestnut spots?
Lots and lots and lots and lots!
by Little Hill 5
So there you have it. My polka-dot pony love dot 🙂
So I guess that’s it, right? We’ll wrap up and head out to read everyone’s Perfect Picture Books….
What?
OH! You want to know who won the contest?
Well. Okay 🙂
I’ve got to tell you, somehow this turned out to be the closest contest we’ve ever had here and that’s saying something because everyone is so talented that the contests are always close. In this case, however, the contestants were literally neck and neck. First one would pull ahead, then another. It was a serious nail-biter! In the end though, we did have a clear winner. And that was…
DDRRUUMM RROOLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!
ERIK!!!!!!!!
Congratulations, Erik! Well done!
And to all the other finalists, excellent job as well. And to everyone who entered, you are all amazingly talented and creative people and it was a joy to read every single entry! Thanks to everyone for participating.
Erik, you may email me at your convenience and choose your prize 🙂 And since we only had 15 entries, I’m only giving a prize for first place. (If we’d had over 20 entries I would have included 2nd and 3rd place prizes, but now you’ll just have to wait for the Halloweensie Contest on October 31st for that! :))
Although I don’t usually add the placement of all the finalists, in this case it was such a close race that I thought you (and they) might like to know how well they did:
1st: Erik
2nd: Sidney
3rd: Vivian
4th: Romelle
5th: TIE: Jess and Lauri
So now, my lovelies, if all the PPBF bloggers would kindly leave their post specific links in the list below, we shall all come visit – the best part of Friday 🙂
#1 – if you have not voted for who you think should win the Summer Send-Off Contest please do! My goodness it is a tight race! We need every vote we can get!
#2 – I realized when I went to write this post that it was meant to include the August Pitch Pick. Except we have a new policy these days. Pitchers have the opportunity to take the feedback you gave them and submit a new version of their pitch for the Pitch Pick. And I didn’t email anyone to remind them… so I don’t have the pitches. Therefore, you are excused from pitch-picking today and I’ll have to squeeze it in somewhere else… probably next Wednesday because there are just too many high jinx and shenanigans going on around here between now and then. (And should you happen to be one of those pitchers, please email me whatever version of your pitch you’d like me to use!)
#3 – Did you know that in Alaska it is illegal to whisper in someone’s ear while he’s moose hunting? I kid you not.
Now then, grab your Something Chocolate (I have chocolate cupcakes on offer at my house this morning – not exactly breakfast food… technically… although they do have eggs in them… :)) and have a gander at today’s pitch. It comes to us from the lovely Elizabeth whom you all know and love as the queen of Banana Peelin’.
Elizabeth Stevens Omlor loves slipping on banana peels. She has at least one slip a day, physically or verbally. She loves writing for children, although she has recently discovered she is a delusional rhymer. When she isn’t writing for children, you can find her having a kitchen dance party with her husband and two young children or drinking a large glass of milk. She loves milk. Yum. Especially when it’s in chocolate. She blogs about all of this on Banana Peelin’: The Ups and Downs of Becoming a Children’s Writer.
Here is her pitch:
Working TItle: Buff The Magic Dragon Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8) The Pitch: Buff isn’t your typical dragon. He’s afraid of EVERYTHING. But when auditioning for the role of royal babysitter, his magic trick-gone-wrong lands the baby Princess Ponypants in the tentacles of the fiercest bully of all the sea, Captain Meanie Bones Jones. Forced to fly above the clouds and to eat a meaty squid, Buff finds that sometimes we must face our fears to right our wrongs and protect the ones we love.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Elizabeth improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read Itor on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above. There are openings in November, so you have time to polish 🙂 for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Elizabeth is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! And I am looking forward to seeing who will win the Summer Send-Off Contest and which book I will pick for Perfect Picture Books on Friday. It could be anything! I still have two whole days to choose! 🙂
Yee-haw! It’s voting day! Fun for you, but let me just say I haven’t slept in 5 days sweating over who to choose as a finalist!
SUMMERSEND-OFFCONTEST!!!
illustration copyright Heather Newman 2012 used by permission
I love contests.
I love writing for them – the challenge of trying to come up with a story that fits certain parameters!
I love hosting them – it’s so much fun to read everyone’s creative entries – there is just so much talent out there!
But of course when I host them, I have to judge the entries, and that is always the hard part! I don’t like having to cut anyone! This contest was no different – everyone’s stories were terrific! From undercover spies, to damsels not in distress, to People For The Ethical Treatment of Dragons, to the origin of ‘smores, to heroes who do hero work to pay the writing bills, to knights and fair maidens, witches and sorceresses, in rhyme and in prose, they all had something wonderful, creative and entertaining to share! It was cruel to have to choose!!
It would have been far, far easier to post all 15 and make you guys do the choosing! But I figured that would be a long blog post, even for me 🙂 So for better or worse, my assistant judge and I have winnowed the field down to the following 6 entries (I told you I’d never make it down to only 3 finalists :)). The three main judging criteria were creativity, child-friendliness (would a child really love to read it?), and whether you stayed within the 250 word limit.
Thanks to everyone who participated. I think I speak for us all when I say we loved getting a chance to read your incredible writing.
Please enjoy reading (or re-reading!) these fabulous entries and cast your vote for your favorite!
#1 – Avery’s Fairy Tale by Sidney – 247 words
“Once upon a time, a princess lived in a castle tower.” Avery stopped writing and pondered the sentence. She glanced at her dresser mirror and wrote “raven-haired” in front of princess. “Avery! Are you doing your homework or goofing off?” her mother called from the kitchen, where she was cooking dinner. The girl grimaced and wrote a new sentence: “Once upon a time, a raven-haired princess was trapped in a castle by a mean old witch.” Her dog, Trixie, sleepily raised her head and sniffed. “Do you smell that, girl?” The odor of burned toast wafted into the room. Avery picked up her pencil. “Once upon a time, a raven-haired princess lived in a castle surrounded by fire and guarded by a dragon named Trixonia.” Avery looked over the pictures taped to the dresser mirror. One pictured her little brother in his goofy outfit from Colonial Day at school. Another showed her grandmother in her favorite apron. Avery blushed when she looked at the third photo. “Once upon a time, an evil witch trapped a raven-haired princess in a castle tower by stealing the key to her heart. Only the bravest of men could battle the fierce dragon guarding the fire-ringed castle and free the princess with true love’s kiss.” “Avery! Time for dinner,” her mother announced. Sighing dreamily, Avery blew a kiss to the boy’s face on her mirror. “Goodbye!” she said. “And start thinking about how you are going to save me from that dragon!”
#2 – Untitled by Jess – 250 words
Nora was a lonely princess.
There were no princes professing love or fire-breathing dragons. She just sat alone, wishing that one day things would change.
Then, one morning, she awoke to find a rose at her window.
She picked up the flower, curiously.
“If only a handsome prince had brought me this rose!” she thought as a petal slipped from the flower, falling toward the ground.
Then, a puff of smoke! And there below her was a dashing prince.
“Did you see that?” the princess whispered to herself, “My flower must be magic!”
“Then…. he shall have a horse !“ she thought as another petal fell.. Puff! A valiant steed appeared.
“And of course, what is a prince without a dragon?” Puff! A roaring beast appeared.
“And a moat of fire!”
This was all becoming too much fun. The petals were dropping like raindrops as Nora dreamed bigger and bigger.
Suddenly, Nora looked down , realizing the chaos below her. The dragon licked his chops, ready to devour the horse. The prince, forlorn, was trying to jump the fiery mote. Soon, both he and the horse would be dragon barbeque!
In horror, Nora threw her flower to the ground, yelling “au revoir!”, and wishing it all would just disappear.
Then Puff! In a whisp of silvery smoke everything had vanished.
There were no more princes professing love or fire-breathing dragons.
Instead she sat alone. And, for the first time, she was satisfied that things were just as they should be.
#3 – The Dragon Prince by Romelle – 250 words
THE DRAGON PRINCE
Prince Nogard lived in Castle Alder for as long as he could remember. But today, unlike any other day, he smelled trouble.
Fifer, the mischievous fox, strutted in.
“It’s time you knew,” said Fifer. “You’re not a prince. You are just a dragon.”
Prince Nogard fumed. “How dare you say such a thing.”
Prince Nogard has been treated like royalty, sleeping on fluffy pillows, and dining on the finest steaks. His loyal servant, Crocker, groomed him daily.
Fifer snickered. “Crocker is not your servant. He is your master and Prince is your nickname.”
Prince huffed and puffed. “That’s not true,” he said in a faint voice. He wondered about his walks with Crocker. “Could he be walking me?” Prince dismissed the thought, but it kept burning in the back of his mind until he finally made a disturbing discovery.
“I’m not just a dragon…I’m a pet dragon!” Prince felt like a lizard. He decided to leave Castle Alder.
“Where are you going?” asked Fifer.
“To find my real family,” said Prince. “Farewell.”
“I’ll walk you out,” said Fifer with a smirk.
Prince hadn’t gone too far when he heard a cry. “Do you hear that?”
“Prince!”
“Crocker?”
Prince’s heart ached. He and Crocker were inseparable. He hurried back.
When Prince arrived at the castle, he found Crocker sobbing. “I thought you left.”
Prince rubbed his cheek against Crocker. “I will never leave you,” thought Prince.
Prince Nogard may not be a prince, but he was the happiest pet dragon around.
#4 – Another Princess To Save – by Lauri – 221 words
Moats were pretty common in the land, but this river of fire was overkill. The dragon’s red hot scales and sharp horns were frightening enough. His snake eyes followed me as I searched for a place to jump to the castle.
I could see the captured maiden over the tips of the flames. She was pretty, but not the fairest of them all. Princess Gwen’s gold hair dangled to her knees, and I only had to save her from a single ogre. I battled trolls with foul-smelling warts to rescue Princess Amelia, and you could see the ocean waves in her eyes.
This maiden focused on her knitting. When she finally noticed me, she sprang to the window and said “oh help me brave knight.” After a moment she returned to her work. I supposed I should save her from the dragon, but she seemed calm enough.
The dragon moved, and I noticed a boy peeking out behind him. The dragon’s lips curled up in a wicked smirk. My horse reared up to run, and she was never wrong. Sayonara, fair maiden.
“Did you see that?” the maiden yelled to her brother. “That knight just turned and ran the other way!”
“You could try brushing your hair every once in a while,” her brother yelled back rubbing the dragon’s empty belly.
#5 – Dragon! by Erik – 250 words
Once Upon A Time, in a land far away (depending on where you are), a princess named Violet was high in a tower. She wasn’t trapped there, mind you. You see, Violet wasn’t an ordinary princess.
One day, Violet heard a commotion outside her window.
“He lit the moat on fire again!” Shouted the stable-boy to Josi, the princesses’ faithful servant. “I already asked The Pale Sorceress to cast an extinguishing spell!”
Josi yelled up to Violet’s window. “Did you hear that? Your parents will banish us all! What kind of princess has a pet dragon anyway?”
“But Cuddles is just a baby!” was the reply.
“A BABY? He’s about 15… Oh-no, here comes Timothy!” Josi groaned. Violet rolled her eyes at the approaching figure.
As Timothy got closer he boasted, “I shall smite thee, foul beast and save yonder fair maiden, Violet! Oh dear Violet, I hath come hither to rescue thee!”
Violet felt her face get red with anger as she screamed back. “First of all, don’t talk funny. Smite and hither, who talks like that? It’s weird. Second, Cuddles is my PET! I DON’T NEED RESCUING!”
Just then, Sorceress cast the spell to blow out the fire. As the gust came, it lifted Timothy and blew him back to his kingdom!
“Farewell!” Timothy called as he faded in the distance.
“Will he be alright? Josi asked.
“Don’t worry, he’ll be back. He always comes back.” Violet sighed.
And they all lived happily ever after…well, until next time.
#6 Boot Camp At Old Dragons-Lair by Vivian – 240 words
The first day of boot camp at Old Dragons-Lair
The white witch decided to darken her hair.
So tired was she of her colorless locks
She lifted the red from the tail of the fox.
“Did you see that?” all the campers cried out.
“I’ll do as I please!” the witch said with a shout.
“I don’t like how I look…I’ll take what I wish
The tail of the dragon…the eyes of a fish.
“You can’t take from others”, the raven explained.
Your magical powers should be more restrained.
You’re leader of boot camp at Old Dragons-lair
You can’t create havoc and cause such a scare.
The black bird continued, “It’s what people do
That shows their real beauty…believe me, it’s true!”
And nodding her head, the witch waved her thin wand
Her hair began changing from red back to blonde.
The campers all gathered around the white witch
And loudly applauded the spell-binding switch.
She’d learned to treat others with love and with care
You don’t bully people at Old Dragons-lair!
The last day of boot camp at Old Dragons-lair
The campers took part in a Renaissance Fair
The white witch placed first in the costume parade
And raven won gold in the gaming arcade.
The campers were packed and excited to go
The sky was alight with a fiery glow
Each clambered to mount his own flying gazelle,
And said to the raven and witch,”Fond farewell!”
And I do want to give honorable mention to Joanna for Cedric’s Cold, which was fantastic, but at 438 words it would have been unfair to choose it as a finalist when others fought so hard to stay within the 250 word limit, and to Hilary for her real estate twist which was SO funny and well-written, but maybe a bit more suited to older audiences.
Now then, please cast your votes! You have from now until Wednesday September 12 at 11:59 PM EDT!
The winner will be revealed on Friday!
And thanks again to everyone for a great contest! It’s been a privilege to read your work! 🙂
(And if you love contests, save the date – October 31st – for the Halloweensie Contest!!!)
September 3rd update: 8 entries on the link list, 4 in the comments, and at least one other that is neither linked nor in the comments – all fantastic! What talent! Come read, enjoy, and add your own – there are still 2 days left to enter (today and tomorrow!)
It’s August 31st, and we’re sending summer out in style with a fun and fabulous contest!
Fingers on the keyboard?
Writing gears engaged?
Ideas sparking like mad?
Then let’s get cracking! 🙂
SUMMERSEND-OFFCONTEST!!!
illustration copyright Heather Newman 2012 used by permission
Contest Rules: The contest is for a children’s story of 250 words or less based on the picture above and in which somebody somewhere in your story says, in dialogue, “Did/do you see that?” (you may substitute any of the other senses – “Did/do you hear/feel/taste/smell that?”) and somebody somewhere in your story says, “Goodbye!” (you are allowed to substitute “Farewell!”, “Au revoir!”, “Sayonara!”, “Ciao!”, or “So long!”)
Entries must be posted on your blog (or, if you don’t have a blog but would still like to enter, in the comment section of this post which will stay up through Tuesday September 4) between today and Tuesday September 4 at 11:59 PM EDT. (I’m giving you an extra day to post, because I realize it’s Labor Day weekend!)
Once your post is up you must add your post-specific link to the linky list below so everyone can come visit you and read your amazing story (or, if you don’t have a blog, copy and paste your entry into the comment section as mentioned above – everyone please be sure to check the comments for entries so you don’t miss any! :)) Special note: I know some people have been having trouble commenting on my blog since disqus updated. If anyone has trouble, please email your entry or your link or whatever you need to me at susanna [at] susannahill [dot] com and I will make sure your link gets linked or your comment gets posted!!!
Finalists – we’ll say 3, but you know me… it may be more like 6 🙂 – will be chosen by me and my assistant judge and posted for you all to vote on on Monday September 10. I’m guessing we may not get tons of entries, what with it being Labor Day weekend and all (although I’m hoping I’ve given people enough time to plan ahead and pull it off! :)), so we’ll probably only have one winner. But if perchance we get lots of entries – more than 20 say 🙂 – we’ll expand to 1st , 2nd and 3rd places. Prize choices will be: 1. A PB manuscript critique by yours truly 🙂 2. Your choice of 2 picture books. 3. Your choice of 2 paperback middle grade books. 4. Your choice of 1 paperback YA book. 5. Your choice of 1 writing craft book. and whoever wins will get their first choice of those options, whoever’s second will get second choice, etc…. Hopefully there’s something in there that will appeal to every writer! 🙂
So here’s my demo: (And I admit, I had a TERRIBLE time getting down to 250 words. I have 5 other stories – all better! – that I couldn’t get below 286, 547, 272, 308, etc. I guess I should have tried this before I published the guidelines… :)) Anyway:
Bathtime For Balkazar
Donovan couldn’t find the dragon soap.
He had the scrub brush, the hot water, and the ladder.
But he couldn’t find the soap.
“Stay, Balkazar,” he told the dragon. And he gave him some bubblegum to keep him busy.
When he came back with the soap, he gasped.
“What’s wrong?” asked Balkazar (because as everyone knows, dragons can speak English.)
“Do you see that?” asked Donovan. The dragon looked at his reflection in one of the water buckets.
“I’m pink!” shrieked Balkazar. “Ack! Get it off!”
“It must have been the bubblegum!” said Donovan. “But King Hallvard is due within the hour. If he sees you like this it’ll be sayonara! kemosabi for us!”
“Try scrubbing!” begged Balkazar.
Donovan scrubbed.
Balkazar became a dazzling, sparkling, glowing pink.
“It’s even worse,” Donovan moaned. “Try rolling.”
The dragon rolled. He kicked up great clouds of dust that blotted out the sun and left everyone gasping and choking.
Now he was brownish pink.
“I look like an overgrown scaly earthworm,” he said sadly. “Not scary at all.”
“You turned pink from the inside,” said Donovan. “Maybe we can turn you back the same way.” He dashed into the castle and came back rolling a barrel of pickles. “Eat these! And hurry! The king’ll be here any minute!”
Balkazar scarfed down pickles. When King Hallvard rode across the drawbridge, Balkazar, mostly green again, greeted him with a colossal belch of pickle-scented fire.
“Stupendous!” shouted King Hallvard.
“Phew!” said Donovan. (Or was it “Pee-ew!”?!) (249 words)
I hope that gives you the courage to post your entry, should you happen to be feeling doubtful – surely your story is better than that! 🙂 And I would also like to remind you that we really have a lovely community of people here – kind, generous, and supportive – so your entry will be read with friendly eyes by people who want to find the good in what you’ve written and cheer you on! So go ahead – add your entry post-specific link to the list below, or copy and paste your entry into the comment section. Remember, if you have any trouble, email me and I’ll do it for you!
I can’t wait to read your stories!!! Let the contest begin! 🙂
If you’ve arrived in the middle of the adventure, you may start at the beginning by goingHERE.
Erik and Josie head for home
Benton and the black horse trotted eagerly side by side toward home and supper.
“So I’m assuming you were responsible for my birthday gift going missing?” Erik asked Lady Josie. He still had not seen what she carried, but the clues had all led him to believe she had his gift.
“Yes,” admitted Josie. “It wasn’t perfect, and it has to be perfect.”
“What is it?” Erik asked.
“It’s a surprise,” said Josie primly.
Erik could see he wasn’t going to get any more information out of her. Lady Josie was maddening that way – if she decided she wasn’t telling something well then by golly she wasn’t telling!
His stomach grumbled, reminding him that he was starving. He bent over and took a small nibble of the cake he carried. It was apple-y and delicious, full of cinnamon and topped with a creamy brown sugar-caramel icing. YUM!
“I saw that,” said Josie.
Erik wiped frosting off his nose and chin and licked his fingers and didn’t care.
Just then, Benton’s steps quickened and when Erik squinted into the deepening twilight he could just see the lights of the castle. They were nearly home!
They slowed the horses to a walk so that they could catch their breath and not be too hot when they reached the stable. A few minutes later they crossed the drawbridge. The horses turned without prompting toward the barn, knowing the way. A groom took Lady Josie’s black horse, and Erik removed Benton’s saddle and bridle, gave him a quick rub-down, and fed him a measure of grain and a flake of summer-sweet hay. “Good boy,” he said, giving his pony a fond pat. Then he headed for the castle with what was left of his cake.
Lady Josie was waiting for him just inside the castle. “Come with me,” she said, leading him toward the Great Hall.
Erik followed her through the huge doors, thinking about some hearty stew and crusty bread to go with his cake when suddenly…
“SURPRISE!!!”
What?
The Great Hall was decked out with garlands of flowers and streamers and candles, and everyone from the castle was there! The lords and ladies, most of the guards, the jester, the cook, the knights, even the king! All dressed in their festive best and waiting for him, wishing him Happy Birthday!
Erik didn’t know what to say. He’d never had a birthday like this.
“Come forward, young Erik,” said the king, “and tell us of your adventures this day!”
So Erik stood before the king and all the assembled dwellers of the castle and told of the woodcutter, and following the black horse, of the Brownie at the bridge, the tinker at the ford, Berwyn, and Greta, the ogre, the Seer, and everything else, and how eventually he had faced Cuddles the dragon and returned safe and sound after all of it with the Lady Josie.
“Well done,” said the king at the end of Erik’s tale. “I believe it is time for your present.”
Lady Josie and Sir Lionel stepped forward, holding the box from the long-ago morning between them. “Happy Birthday, Erik,” said Josie.
Erik opened the box.
And this time, when he looked inside there lay a shining silver sword, its edges honed to perfection, a star-shapped ruby glinting richly from its exquisitely wrought handle.
“Oh…!” Erik breathed, scarcely daring to touch it.
It was the king who reached forward and lifted the sword from it’s resting place. “Kneel,” he said solemnly.
Unbelieving, Erik sank to his knees before the king and bowed his head. The king laid the gleaming sword first on Erik’s right shoulder then on his left. “I dub thee knight,” he said. “Rise, Sir Erik!”
And Erik stood. A knight. At last, a real knight!
The king handed him his sword and Erik took it, feeling the weight of it, and how the hilt fit his hand perfectly.
The Great Hall erupted with applause and cheering.
“And now,” said Erik, who was determined in this venture, “let’s have some CAKE!!!”
And so they did.
And forever after, Erik proclaimed that to be his Best Birthday Ever!
THE END HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ERIK! And for your actual present which is not a sword or a knighthood but is hopefully still fun, please Email Me!!! 🙂
To start the adventure again and choose different options, go back to the beginning! HERE
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Well, my friends, somehow or other it’s the last week of August. When I think of everything I’ve done this summer – life in general, writing, blogging, getting a new washing machine (yes! it’s true! and so pretty :)), applying my black thumb to the butterfly bushes (apparently when they say full sun they mean, like, ALL THE TIME!) and a few Secret Projects (details coming possibly soon… or possibly later… depending how long it takes to get things finished up :)) all stuck in around the edges of 21 college visits in about 14 states and DC – it makes sense that it’s nearly September. But on the other hand, the start of the new school year always seems to catch me by surprise…. probably what some would chalk up to not being the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree 🙂
In case anyone is feeling a little down about summer drawing to a close, and because thanks to Short & Sweets our writing gears are still finely tuned :), and because we really SHOULD finish Summer Shorts up with a bang, and because we haven’t had a contest since MAY!, I thought this would be a good time for some fun – so let’s have a contest! (You all know how much I love contests! :))
SUMMERSEND-OFFCONTEST!!!
illustration copyright Heather Newman 2012 used by permission
Contest Rules: The contest will be for a children’s story of 250 words or less based on the picture above and in which somebody somewhere in your story says, in dialogue, “Did/do you see that?” (you may substitute any of the other senses – “Did/do you hear/feel/taste/smell that?”) and somebody somewhere in your story says, “Goodbye!” (you are allowed to substitute “Farewell!”, “Au revoir!”, “Sayonara!”, “Ciao!”, or “So long!”)
Entries must be posted on your blog (or, if you don’t have a blog but would still like to enter, in the comment section of the official contest post on my blog which will be up on Friday August 31 and stay up through Tuesday September 4) between Friday August 31 and Tuesday September 4 at 11:59 PM EDT. (I’m giving you an extra day to post, because I realize it’s Labor Day weekend!)
Once your post is up you must add your post-specific link to the linky list that will be up (or, if you don’t have a blog, copy and paste your entry into the comment section as mentioned above.) Special note: I know some people have been having trouble commenting on my blog since disqus updated. If anyone has trouble, please email your entry or your link or whatever you need to me at susanna [at] susannahill [dot] com and I will make sure your link gets linked or your comment gets posted!!!
Finalists – we’ll say 3, but you know me… it’s more likely to be around 6 🙂 – will be chosen by me and my assistant judge and posted for you all to vote on on Monday September 10. I’m guessing we may not get tons of entries, what with it being Labor Day weekend and all (although I’m hoping I’m giving people enough time to plan ahead that they might still be able to pull it off! :)), so we’ll probably only have one winner. But if perchance we get lots – more than 20 say 🙂 – we’ll expand out to 1st , 2nd and 3rd places. Prize choices will be: 1. A PB manuscript critique by yours truly 🙂 2. Your choice of 2 picture books. 3. Your choice of 2 paperback middle grade books. 4. Your choice of 1 paperback YA book. 5. Your choice of 1 writing craft book. and whoever wins will get their first choice of those options, whoever’s second will get second choice, etc…. Hopefully there’s something in there that will appeal to every writer! 🙂
Now, onto the other business at hand. I wanted to share a little Short & Sweet update, now that the Summer session is officially ending. Summer Short & Sweets was 8 weeks of fun and games, and to qualify for a prize, you had to provide at least one entry for every week. As of this writing, we had a total of 51 people enter at least one of the weeks. The week with the most entries was Week 1, with 36, and the week with the fewest entries was Week 7 with 17. (Actually, Week 8 is about even with Week 7, but I’m pretty sure a few more entries will be trickling in over the next couple days.) By my reckoning, 12 people are currently qualified for a prize (Delores, Vivian, Romelle, Heather, Robyn, Laura, Karen, Jennifer, Erik, Cathy, Penny, and Tracy), 2 people are only one entry away (Renee and Jarm), and 1 person is only 2 entries away (Pam). I realize that a few of you have been having trouble posting comments lately, so feel free to email anything to me that you couldn’t post and I’ll copy and paste it for you in the appropriate spot. Looks like I’m going to have to part ways with disqus…. but that’s another story 🙂 If you think you posted an entry a week for 8 weeks and should be qualified and don’t see your name here, please let me know!!! The last day you can post entries on any of the weeks is August 31.
All in all, I think it was a success, and I really hope everyone had fun and got some good ideas out of it!
Short & Sweets will be continuing on alternate Mondays starting September 17 (because I forgot last week when I said September 10 that we need a day to vote on finalists for the Summer Send-Off Contest!) and we’ll see how that goes 🙂
Now fire up those imaginations and get started on those contest stories! Good luck and have fun!!!
Last Saturday we had dinner with our daughter, son-in-law, and little granddaughter. On our way home through a lovely late May twilight, just before we turned into our road, we saw a doe grazing right at the edge of the tall meadow grass. The car startled her. She lifted her head from the grass and with one graceful leap disappeared into the sheltering trees. And oh! Right behind her out of that tall grass came the first little fawn we’ve seen this year! So tiny. So delicate. So earnestly intent on staying with his mama 🙂
So for today’s Perfect Picture Book, I had to share one of my favorites. I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I do!
Lost In The Woods: A Photographic Fantasy Written By & Photographed By: Carl R. Sams II & Jean Stoick Published By: Carl R. Sams II Photography, June, 2004, Reality Based Fiction
Opening: “The Spring frogs sing-singing with a thousand trilling voices were silenced by the rising sun. New life came into the woods before the sun touched the tops of the trees. He slept quietly in the tall grass on the north edge of the meadow where the trees start the forest.”
Brief Synopsis: The woodland creatures are worried that a newborn fawn might be lost. “Mama said to wait right here,” the fawn whispers. “She will come back.” But the other animals aren’t convinced and offer their advice and help. Does the doe come back? What do you think? 🙂
Links To Resources: The book itself is a resource. Page after page of gorgeous photographs of woodland creatures will introduce children to animals and birds they may never have seen, especially if they live in the city. The very last page of the book challenges readers to look back through the pictures and see if they can find a number of hidden animals. Activity pages, Lesson Plan. If you’re lucky enough to live in a rural area, go for a “deer drive” in the evening, cruising slowly along back roads, and see how many different animals and birds you can spot 🙂
Why I Like This Book: I love this story! It’s simple and sweet. On the first page where the fawn appears, he is a tangle of fragile limbs. His spotted fur helps him blend into the forest floor. By the last page, he has mastered those rascally legs and can be seen bounding through the meadow grass with such joy you can’t help but smile at his airs above the ground. But the best part is the photography. It’s breathtaking. Absolutely stunning! The fawn’s fur looks like you could reach out and touch it. You can see his eyelashes! And there are so many other animals pictured – chipmunk, goslings, a tree frog whose camouflage is amazing!, cardinal, red-winged blackbird, raccoon, and many others. I know I’m an animal lover (and therefore biased :)) but I think this book is exquisitely beautiful and one that anyone would enjoy!
I know you’ve all been anxiously waiting for the moment when I announce the winners of the Birthday Contest.
Thank you for your patience.
And I am definitely going to tell you just as soon as I recite The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer.
In Middle English.
(deep breath)
“Whan that Aprill with his shoures sote The droghte of Marche hath perced to the rote, And bathed every veyne in swich licour, Of which vertu engendered is the flour; Whan Zephirus eek with his swete breeth Inspired hath in every holt and heeth The tendre croppes…”
Sorry 🙂 I’m just fooling’ with you – can’t seem to help myself 🙂 But I won’t really put you through a recitation of all 900 billion stanzas (or however many there are – it seemed like at least 900 billion when we were in 9th grade) and besides, I can only remember about 16 lines of the General Prologue 🙂
So anyway. The Birthday Contest!
We had so many talented writers, and so many wonderful entries! It was incredibly hard, but we narrowed them down to 6:
#1 A Gift Of Love by Delores #2 A Present For A Pirate by Cathy #3 Not Another Birthday! by Erik #4 Birthday At The Beach by Carrie #5 Dan’s Birthday Plan by Stacy #6 The Biggest And The Best by Anthony
96 voters weighed in with their opinions and the winners are…
duhn-duhn-duhn-duhn!!!
Third Place: CATHY with A Present For A Pirate
Second Place: CARRIE with Birthday At The Beach
and last but not least….
First Place and Big Winner 🙂 ANTHONY with The Biggest And The Best!!!
Congratulations to all of you, and to all who entered! You were all superb and I think I speak for everyone when I say we thoroughly enjoyed all the entries and admire your hard work and bravery in entering! Thank you all!
Anthony, Carrie, and Cathy, please contact me using that handy Email Me button on the right or, if you prefer manual labor, by emailing to susanna [at] susannahill [dot] com. Anthony will get first choice of the prizes, Carrie will get second choice, and Cathy will get third.
First, the lovely Jen invited me to be part of her fabulous Let’s Ask series yesterday. If you haven’t had a chance, please pop over and visit her 🙂
Second, remember Randy’s Contest over at Author In Training, and also Delores is running a lovely Words Of June Contest which I meant to mention Wednesday, so do hop over and check them both out!
So now we can all recover from the excitement by making the Perfect Picture Book rounds 🙂 PPBF bloggers, please add your post-specific link to the list below.
Have a great weekend, everyone, and please tune in Monday for Oh Susanna and some exciting announcements 🙂
Grab your donut (or any member of the donut family that suits your fancy this morning – bagel (donut’s less exciting sister), cruller, danish, croissant, preferably chocolate, actually, I suppose even funnel cake qualifies, with all that lovely powdered sugar on top… wait… what was I saying?)
Oh yes. I want you to know that it may be a small miracle if this post actually appears. We are in the path of severe thunderstorms (which I would know even without the weather report and the exceedingly menacing dark sky and high winds because Jemma has glued her shaking little self to my side – poor Baby J!)…
this is Baby J when she’s not being scared by thunder – I wouldn’t want to show you her distress!
…which means that our internet, always temperamental, has become downright moody and is threatening to quit altogether.
So it will be like a little surprise to see if this post shows up or not.
Talk about living on the edge! 🙂 We laugh in the face of danger up here on Blueberry Hill! 🙂
Anyway, before we get to Would You Read It, I wanted to mention for all you contest junkies out there that Randy is having one over on his blog Author In Training. So hop on over and check it out!
Also, if you haven’t had a chance to vote for who you think should win the Birthday Contest, you still have until midnight! You can vote HERE. And it is quite a heated competition, so your vote could be a deciding factor!
Now then.
Today’s pitch comes to us from the amazing Tina. Here are a few words about her that I lifted off her blog (since apparently I forgot to ask her what she wanted me to say about her – oops! – :))
Tina M. Cho is a freelance writer for education and children’s stories and a former elementary teacher of eleven years. She wrote 16 books for Lakeshore Learning and 4 guided readers for Compass Media. Her nonfiction book for girls from Legacy Press will be out in 2013, and she’s working on another contracted book for girls with them. She has written stories for a private school’s reading curriculum, books reviews for theChristian Library Journal, educational activities foreducation.com,and stories for magazines and e-zines. She is the mom of two kids, a fourth grader and a first grader. She and her husband Jackey recently moved from Southern California to South Korea.
Here is her pitch:
(and BTW, Tina lives on the other side of the globe from many of us, and will be going to bed when the rest of us are getting up and reading this, so please be patient for her responses to your comments!)
Working Title: Dewey Bookworm Takes The Stage Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8) The Pitch: What if a bookworm doesn’t like books? Tree leaves taste better than book leaves. Dewey Bookworm wants to join the circus. Will other book-eating creatures change his mind?
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Tina improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read Itor on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above. There are openings in August, so you have time to polish 🙂 for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Tina is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!
Tune in Friday for Perfect Picture Books – I have such a perfect one for this week! you’re going to love it! – and for the announcement of the Birthday Contest winners!!! Ooh, the excitement! How will you ever wait for Friday?
I have hemmed and hawed, gone backwards and forwards and sideways, compared notes with my assistant judge, eaten some cookies, chosen, second-guessed, re-chosen, further consulted with my assistant judge (which may or may not have involved more cookies…), third-guessed, hemmed and hawed some more…
Would you just look at me this morning?!
Man this was tough! So many terrific entries! How to choose?
Well, I’ll tell you.
Criteria number one was tied between child-friendliness and creativity (since the contest was for a children’s story about a very creative or unique birthday.) Several entries ended up not being chosen because either the topic seemed more appealing to adults, or the writing felt a little too adult, and several others ended up not being chosen because they just didn’t feel quite unique enough. Criteria number two was quality of writing. A couple of entries had mistakes in basic grammar, word usage etc, and a couple others needed a bit more work on rhyme/rhythm/meter. Although there were MANY other entries we could have chosen for one reason or another, we tried to pick the ones that really did the best overall job with all three criteria.
So. Without further ado, here are the 6 finalists, listed by number and title only in case that helps you be objective 🙂
#1 A Gift Of Love
Kayla sat by her twin sister Kenya’s side and held her hand. It was their tenth birthday and the celebration was going to be very low key. Kenya couldn’t take too much excitement. She was very weak from the chemo treatments. Her head was covered with a soft, knitted hat because her glorious mane of red hair had fallen out. She was as pale as her hospital sheets.
Weak and sick as she was, Kenya was able to dredge up a fit of blazing anger directed at her sister. “What have you done? Why have you had your hair cut off?” she spluttered. She was simply furious. The twins crowning glory was their hair and they took care every day to style it identically. Kayla now had a short pixie style hair cut.
Kayla just smiled, offered no explanation, and simply handed her sister a gaily wrapped birthday gift. “Happy birthday Ken.” She said and slipped quietly out of her sisters hospital room.
Kenya, puzzled, opened her gift and then broke down in tears of joy and shame over having spoken to her twin so harshly.
When Kayla came back in the room Kenya was propped up in bed and her hairdo was the mirror image of her sisters. “Thank you.” She said softly. “This is the best birthday gift I have ever had or will likely ever have again. I love you.”
#2 A Present For A Pirate
Lundy the hound and Captain Saltsam
Were pirates aboard the vast ship Crusty Clam.
On Saltsam’s big birthday, he had one desire:
A colorful bird for his pirate attire.
Lundy decided to cast out their net
And catch Saltsam’s present, the best ever yet.
After sailing around, Lundy pulled in the haul:
Some driftwood, a buoy, a flattened beach ball.
Snared in the net lay a sopping sea bird,
“A parrot?” asked Lundy. “Now don’t be absurd!
I’m a puffin! Release me!” the cranky bird snapped.
“I’ve no place on a ship, and I won’t be bird-napped!”
“Hush up, pesky puffin! Behave and pipe down.
You’re a pirate’s bird now. Eat crackers and frown!
Happy birthday dear Captain!” said the gift-bearing hound,
“A bird for your shoulder! Here – wear him around!”
The bird thrashed his feet and swung with his beak,
He flapped his strong wings, smacking Sam on the cheek.
He wiggled and wobbled and shrieked in alarm,
Then lifting his tail, pooped down Saltsam’s arm.
“Yuck!” yelled the captain. “Get off me! Goodbye!”
The puffin leaned over and nipped Saltsam’s eye.
Lundy was crushed, gave a low mournful howl.
“I’m sorry I gave you that terrible fowl.”
“Oh well!” said the captain. “I don’t need a bird.
I can see now quite clearly my wish was absurd.
The present I want isn’t one we can catch.
With this nifty new boo-boo, I want an eye patch!”
#3 Not Another Birthday!
Billy hated his birthdays, every single one of them. The day was always a complete disaster. One time, on Billy’s seventh birthday, most of his party guests ended up in the emergency room! In fact, none of Billy’s friends will come to his parties anymore. Only Billy’s relatives show up because they have to.
Things usually start off pretty well. The guests arrive with smiles on their faces, carrying presents in colorful paper. There’s lots of ”Hi’s”, hugs and “How are you’s?” Everyone puts their party hats on. There’s pizza for dinner, and games like guess the wizard, and pin the drawbridge on the castle.
Then comes the cake. Billy’s dad carries it in. This year it has twelve candles on it, brightly lit with flames dancing in the air. Billy notices it is an ice cream cake, “UGH!” He says to himself. “Even WORSE!”
The cake is placed on the table in front of Billy; all the guests cower behind their chairs and under the table as they nervously sing “Happy Birthday to You” in hushed voices. As Billy listened to the song, getting ready to blow out the candles, he thought to himself, “This makes no sense for a fire-breathing dragon.”
#4 Birthday At The Beach
Mom hung up the phone just as Kara finished dinner.
“Grab your jacket,” Mom said, grinning. “We’re going to a birthday party.”
“Whose birthday? We don’t know anyone here,” said Kara. She searched for her jacket among the moving boxes that had arrived, like they had, only three days ago.
“It’s a surprise,” said Mom.
“Where’s the party?” asked Kara, climbing into the car.
“At the beach,” said Mom. “I told you it would be great to live near the beach.”
“But it’s almost dark!”
Mom smiled.
“Will there be cake?”
“Nope.”
A birthday party at the beach, in the dark, with no cake?
At the beach, a small crowd had gathered. Coming closer, Kara saw that the crowd surrounded a rope-marked path from the dunes toward the water. For a birthday party, it sure was quiet.
“Watch that patch of sand,” whispered Mom, pointing. Kara stared through the growing darkness. She thought she saw the sand shift. Then it shifted again, slowly, and then more rapidly. To Kara, it looked like a pot of water beginning to simmer. A small black head appeared, then another, then a flipper, and suddenly the sand boiled over with tiny creatures struggling toward the surface.
“Turtles!” Mom whispered, squeezing Kara’s hand. Dozens of baby sea turtles flip-flopped their way across the sand toward the waves. A woman with a clipboard counted them. The crowd remained still, but once in a while someone stooped to gently guide a wandering baby turtle back to the path.
They’re brave, Kara thought, watching the tiny creatures make their way into the vast ocean, a place they had never been and could know nothing about.
“Happy birthday,” Kara whispered, then smiled at Mom. “I think I’m going to like living near the beach,” she said.
#5 Dan’s Birthday Plan
Dan had to stop Christmas. It was the only way his birthday would be normal. Every year, he celebrated Christmas one day and on the next his birthday.
As Mom announced time for dinner, Dan jumped in.
“We can’t have Christmas. If we do, my birthday will be ruined.”
Dan knew the reason for the season, but his Christmas and birthday presents always had a part missing.
“Christmas always splits my birthday,” Dan said.
“It doesn’t,” Mom said. “That’s your special day. This is another one.”
“Why did I get arrows on Christmas Day and a bow on my birthday?” Dan asked.
“They were two separate gifts,” his sister Sue said.
“One year, I got multi-colored pencils for Christmas. I had nothing to write on until paper arrived on my birthday,” Dan said.
“You had to sharpen the pencils,” cousin Bobby said reaching for a roll.
“The leather baseball glove,” Dan said.
“What was wrong with that?” Dad asked.
“I couldn’t play catch until my birthday. That’s when you gave me a baseball.”
Grandma put her arms around Dan.
“We don’t need to cancel Christmas or your birthday. We’ll celebrate both with no missing parts — right Mom and Dad?”
His parents agreed and they all sat down to eat.
During the gift exchange, Dan tore the Christmas paper and opened the box to find one tennis shoes.
“Oops,” Mom said. She left and returned with a birthday package. Dan opened the box. He beamed holding the shoes. “A pair of shoes for Christmas!“
“Everything worked out,” Grandma said. “Now are you ready for your birthday?”
“Yes,” Dan said and noticed a jar of jelly in his stocking. “Who knows what I’ll get for my birthday.”
#6 The Biggest And The Best
Scott only wanted the biggest and best. For his fourth birthday, Scott’s parents rented a pony.
Scott asked, “No elephant?”
For his fifth birthday, his grandmother baked a five layer cake.
Scott said, “I wanted ten layers.”
For his sixth birthday, his brother bought him the all the Super-Robo-Thunder-Teamfigurines.
Scott asked, “Where’s the Super-Robo-Volcano–Lair play set?”
So Scott figured his seventh birthday was going to be just like all his other ones—just okay.
To his surprise, dad said, “We decided to get you something bigger and better than anything you have ever gotten!”
“What is it?”
Dad said, “You’ll find out tomorrow.”
Scott thought of all the big, best things he wanted. “They know I want an airplane, but where to put it?
“Maybe it will be my own personal movie theater.
“Maybe a submarine! I told my mom this week I wanted one!”
Scott was nearly unable to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be better than Christmas and 4th of July combined.
At the party, he passed on the games. He devoured dinner in two bites. Scott blew out the cake candles before the singing was over.
“Alright! Where are my presents?”
Dad gave him a card. “Open it, son. Congratulations.”
Inside was a certificate:
Scott,
A heavenly gift from The Star Registry Society.
Your Star’s Coordinates: GSC 4628:237
love,
Your family
“WHAT!?!”
“It’s something big,” said grandfather.
“The star we picked is twice as massive as the sun,” said mother.
“WHAT!?!”
“And you wanted the best,” said uncle.
“There’s not much better than something that spews fire and is billions of years old,” said aunt.
“But…
“I see you are speechless. So let me also show you your new telescope. It’s outside, ready to find your star,” said dad.
They went out to see the biggest and the best.
And I just have to say we had a particularly hard time finally laying aside Bailey Bear’s Birthday Band (by Laura), Happy Birthday Seahorse (by Wendy), Mouse Du Jour (by Penny), The Birthday Giving (by Sabrina), and No Brother For My Birthday (by Vivian).
But really, all the entries were terrific, there were things we really liked about all of them, and you all did such a fantastic job. You are all winners by virtue of the fact that you wrote stories that met the guidelines and entered the contest. They say 90% of success is showing up (or something like that :)) – well, you all showed up! And I know I speak for everyone when I say how much we all enjoyed your work!
And now, if you could all please vote for your favorite between now and 11:59 PM EDT Wednesday May 30 (I extended it a little because I want to make sure everyone has time to vote!) I will announce the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Place Winners on Friday after the Perfect Picture Book!
I really cannot wait to see how the voting shapes up!
Well, MY GOODNESS! Apparently I am a glutton for punishment!
Have you read the entries in the Birthday Contest? (If you haven’t, you should, They’re really amazing! So much creativity!)
But they’re all so good! And somehow my assistant judge and I have to choose finalists! We certainly have our work cut out for us. (Thank goodness we have a very large tray of donuts!)
The contest is now closed, but never fear. The finalists will be posted on Monday May 28 and I hope you will all come back and vote!
Meanwhile, we have Straight From The Editor, where everybody’s favorite editor, Erin Molta, comments on the winning pitch from last month.
You will recall that Rebecca won April’s Pitch Pick with her pitch for Broomstick Rodeo:
Working Title: Broomstick Rodeo
Age/Genre: Picture Book (4-7)
The Pitch: The Thistlegulch Sisters have thirteen trophies between them and they’re determined to win another. They practice for the rodeo until they’re chapped under their chaps and have calluses on their warts. But when a buckin’ broomstick charges towards their youngest sister, Myrna, they realize there are more important things in life than winning trophies.
Here are Erin’s comments, so that we can all learn!
This sounds like it could be very cute! But I think the pitch would work better if, rather than saying how hard they practiced, you mentioned what they neglected because they wanted to win so badly—like perhaps Myrna. That way it makes sense that suddenly they would care about Myrna.
Interesting. And encouraging, I think 🙂
Now then, I’m in the mood for some of those lovely cider donuts today. How about you?
Would you like one (or three?) Help yourselves! There’s coffee and tea, too.
Then get comfy for today’s pitch which comes to us from our very own Banana Peelin’ Elizabeth!
Elizabeth Stevens Omlor loves slipping on banana peels. She has at least one slip a day, physically or verbally. She loves writing for children, although she has recently discovered she is a delusional rhymer. When she isn’t writing for children, you can find her having a kitchen dance party with her husband and two young children or drinking a large glass of milk. She loves milk. Yum. Especially when it’s in chocolate. She blogs about all of this on Banana Peelin’: The Ups and Downs of Becoming a Children’s Writer.
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: Magnificent
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: When the synchronized swimming Savanna Belles lose their watering hole to drought, the troop of elephant calves decide ballet is the perfect way to make them feel magnificent once again. Facing the challenges of trunk-tickling ants, loss of weightlessness, and the scarcity of tutus, can the girls tame the doubtful roars, hisses and cackles of the their wild friends, proving that they really can be magnificent ballerinas? Follow the tutued journey of these silly mammals as they sashay, leap and plié their way into even the wildest of hearts.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Elizabeth improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read Itor on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above. There are openings in August, so you have time to polish 🙂 for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Elizabeth is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!
See you all on Friday for Perfect Picture Books (assuming I haven’t run off to Outer Mongolia to avoid having to pick finalists in the contest! :))
Susanna Leonard Hill 
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