Would You Read It Wednesday #283 – Willamina The Super-Mom Wolf Spider (PB)

Hiya, Peeps!

Hope you’re all having a lovely week so far!

I am having a school visit kind of week – teaching 4th graders about writing – tons of fun!  (But I confess to being away from my desk and absent from social media!)

Remember that baby horse I mentioned a while back?

(Don’t get excited…!)

We’re still waiting!

Such anticipation!!! 🙂

I’ll keep you posted!

Meanwhile, there’s nothing like Something Chocolate to help the waiting time go by… 🙂  Can I interest you in some Dark Chocolate Cream Pie?

Dark Chocolate Cream Pie

I know I can interest myself in some 🙂  YUM!

Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Corine.  An encounter on a dusty road in southwest Spain between a boar piglet, an abandoned hunting dog, and Corine, inspired her to write and self -publish her first children’s story. Nature is a constant inspiration and this new story idea is no exception. While sweeping the outside terrace of their holiday shack ( on a beach somewhere in Portugal), Corine stumbled upon a wolf spider with hundreds of babies on her back. EEEK! An incident that inspired this story.

Find her on the web at:
website https://www.bicadeideias.com
Pinterest https://www.pinterest.co.uk/ctbicadeideias
Face Book: https://www.facebook.com/corineaddis

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Willamina the Super -Mom Wolf Spider

Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 6-9)

The Pitch:  Willamina the Wolf spider wants more than anything to keep her spiderlings safe until they are ready to explore the world on their own. But when her tummy starts grumbling, she knows it’s time to leave the den to *hunt. Not an easy task with three hundred spiderlings on her back! To make matters worse, it is full moon and she is not the only one who is hungry. Willamina has to hide from an owl, run away from a shrew, and, in the end, outsmart a lady with a broom—an incident that forces her to release her spiderlings, but not without telling them they are going on an adventure.

*Wolf spiders hunt for prey. Females are single parents and carry their offspring
(hundreds) on their abdomen for about one week— until the spiderlings disperse— at times via ballooning.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Corine improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)

Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above.  There are openings in May, so you could get your pitch up pretty soon for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta!

Corine is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to that baby horse!  Maybe we should take bets on what day it will arrive! 🙂  I shall cast my vote for April 25 because that’s today… and it could happen… 🙂

Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! 🙂

 

Would You Read It Wednesday #227 -Grandmother’s Parrots (PB) PLUS The May, June And July Pitch Pick Winners And Straight From The Editor!!!

Happy Wednesday to you, folks!

You know, I don’t when the world got so busy!  But it surely did!  Everyone but everyone seems to have more to manage than they can keep up with.  We all muddle along as best we can, but sometimes Straight From The Editors have to wait awhile until the editor in question has time to read and comment on the pitch!

I usually announce the pitch pick winners and tell them that their pitch is on its way to editor Erin Molta for her read and comments and they will hear from her shortly.  But THIS time, I sent the winning pitches to Erin and she replied before I got the post up, so today you get the whole shebang – pitch winners AND Straight From The Editor!

But, in our busy busy world, this time we’re AHEAD of schedule!  (Please take note and enjoy it… it’s not likely to ever happen again 🙂 )

So first off, the June Pitch Pick was won by Susan with her PB pitch for Bossy Bird.  Congratulations, Susan!!!  *confetti*  *multi-colored balloons*  *cheering from all sides!*

The July Pitch Pick was won by Robyn with her MG pitch for Fear On The Mountain.  Congratulations, Robyn!!!  *more confetti* *celebratory double-decker chocolate cupcakes*  *thunderous applause*

I’d also like to congratulate and thank all the other June and July pitchers who wrote strong pitches for amazing-sounding stories and then worked to revise their pitches based on your wonderful feedback.  It takes courage to share a pitch here!  And Would You Read It wouldn’t be what it is without all the  writers who put their work on the line, braving constructive criticism for the sake of their craft – so they can make their pitches stronger – and so all of us can learn.  Great job all of you!  Really!  And while I’m at it, I’d like to thank all of you for being so generous with your time and expertise, sharing your reactions, comments, advice and help each week to aid our pitchers on their quest for pitch perfection!  You are all lovely!!!

Moving right along, we’ve now got Straight From The Editor for May, June AND July!

 

May – Melissa – Walking With Memphis

You will recall Melissa’s winning pitch:

Walking With Memphis: Inspired By A Real Dog (Nonfiction Picture Book ages 3-8)

When Memphis becomes paralyzed and loses his wag, he must learn to walk with a wheelchair. He worries his dog days will never be the same, but he digs up the courage to embark on an adventurous discovery of all that he is capable of and what it means to be a lucky dog.

Here are editor Erin Molta’s thoughts:

This sounds like a great story. However, if you’re calling it nonfiction then you can’t have the story from Memphis’s point of view. It needs to be an omniscient narrator. If it is “inspired” by a true story then it can be just a picture book and not nonfiction. Then you can keep it in the dog’s POV. Besides that, I have a slight tweak to suggest

When Memphis becomes paralyzed and loses his wag, he must learn to walk with a wheelchair. He worries his dog days will never be the same, but he digs up the courage to embark on an adventurous journey to discover all that he was capable of and what it meant to be a lucky dog.

June – Susan – Bossy Bird (PB)

Here is Susan’s winning pitch:

Bossy Bird is the largest, loudest and bossiest bird of the bunch.  When the fed up flock ruffles HIS feathers, he leaves the safety of the group.  With danger crouching around the corner, Bossy Bird must find a way to save the birds that sent him away and discovers that being the boss is not as important as being a friend.

And here are Erin’s thoughts:

This is nice! I just have one tweak and that’s to add in that he’s been forced out, rather than he “leaves” the safety of the group because that makes it more clear that they didn’t want him, so him saving them from the creature has more resonance.

 Bossy Bird is the largest, loudest and bossiest bird of the bunch.  Then the fed up flock ruffles HIS feathers and forced him out.  With danger crouching around the corner, Bossy Bird must find a way to save the birds that sent him away and discovers that being the boss is not as important as being a friend.

July – Robyn – Fear On The Mountain (MG)

Here is Robyn’s winning pitch:

What was supposed to be an idyllic birthday of fun and horseback riding becomes a grueling test of survival.
Thirteen-year-old Anna, a diabetic, doesn’t plan on getting lost in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina without her insulin bottle. But that’s what happens, thanks to the carelessness of Claire, her best friend.
When Claire’s horse gets loose they leave the trail to find him. They find themselves lost with nighttime closing in. Wild animals, a storm, and devastating injuries won’t stop Anna from searching for a way down the mountain. Or will they?

And here are Erin’s thoughts:

Sounds like it could be exciting. It might work better if you trim the extra info. and stick to the highlights. Also, no need to end on a question because that doesn’t actually make people want to read to find out the answer—since it’s pretty much a given, anyway.

 Best of luck!

What was supposed to be an idyllic birthday of fun and horseback riding turns into a nightmare.

Thirteen-year-old Anna, a diabetic, ends up lost in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina without her insulin bottle, thanks to the carelessness of Claire, her best friend.

When they must search for Claire’s horse, they find themselves lost with nighttime closing in. Wild animals, a storm, and (be specific about the injury) become a grueling test of survival that Anna and Claire must pass in order to get home.

As always, I find Erin’s perspective so helpful and enlightening, and I hope you all do too!

Wow!  That was A LOT of pitch winning and Straight-From-The-Editoring!  (It’s feast or famine around here in that department!)  I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for Something Chocolate!  (aren’t I always? 🙂 )  How about some fresh, cinnamon-scented cider donuts?  Okay.  Technically not chocolate.  But I found them on a blog called Chocolate Chocolate And More, and it’s fall… and you all know my weakness for cider donuts…  So here are some – warm, cinnamon-sugary, and delicious to dunk into your coffee while you help today’s pitcher with her pitch – and I’ll give you some chocolate hot fudge sauce to go along with them 🙂

cider-donuts

Recipe HERE at ChocolateChocolateAndMore (do not be fooled that the url mentions white chocolate caramel gingerbread cookie cups – which also sound delicious – the url is correct and has the donut recipe!)

Now go ahead!  Dip in hot fudge sauce to your chocolatey little heart’s content! 🙂

Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Patricia whom you may remember from her previous pitch for Bird And The Baker in March.  Patricia is a pre-published author and long-time 12×12 and PiBoIdMo participant. She primarily writes picture books, which she loved reading with her three children when they were young and hopes to read with grandchildren sometime in the future (the first wedding looms!). Patricia lives with her husband, an orange and white Toller pup, and more than 400 high school students at a New England boarding school. She loves travel and gardening.

Find her on twitter @ptntweets, or reviewing Perfect Picture Books at  Wander, Ponder, Write.  

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Grandmother’s Parrots

Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 6-9)

The Pitch: Charlotte isn’t happy about her first solo overnight at Grandmother’s house. Grandmother is so old, and her house is so creepy! But when Charlotte discovers the joys of birdwatching and uncovers a secret from Grandmother’s past, Charlotte wishes she could stay much longer.

Grandmother’s Parrots explores the London Blitz from a child’s perspective and the origin of London’s parrot population.

 

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Patricia improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)

 

Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read It in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above.  There are openings in October, so you have a little time to polish your pitch before putting it up for helpful feedback and have a chance to have it read by editor Erin Molta!

Patricia is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to enjoying the Season Of Cider Donuts (yes, I think it should be capitalized and celebrated as its own Season! 🙂 ) to the fullest possible extent!!!

Have a wonderful cider donut-filled Wednesday everyone!!! 🙂

 

Would You Read It Wednesday # 226 – Madeleine’s Crowning Moment (PB) PLUS The June And July Pitch Picks!!!

Good Morning, Everyone!

It’s Hope-You-Ate-Your-Wheaties Wednesday today!

We have A LOT to do!

(Which means you are excused from me waxing poetic about tomorrow being the first day of Autumn… or doing any form of interpretive dance to celebrate the very-nearly-here season premiere of Gray’s Anatomy… or practicing my sheep-song-in-progress which I’m composing in anticipation of the upcoming NYS Sheep & Wool Festival… or any of my other tomfoolery… because we have no extra time!  Lucky you 🙂 )

So let’s get right down to it, shall we?

You’ll be thrilled to know that at long last we are ready for the June and July Pitch Picks, so here goes!  (And a little side note: I don’t want to influence your choices by telling you which ones, but one of these pitches is for a story that has since sold for publication, and one of them earned its author a contract with an agent!  How awesome is that?  WYRI and all the help you guys give each other is really paying off! 🙂 )

June Pitch Pick

Please read through the 5 pitches below and then vote for the one you think most deserving of a read and critique from editor Erin Molta by Sunday September 25 at 5 PM EDT.  Winner will be announced next Wednesday (Sept.28)

#1 Susan – BOSSY BIRD (PB ages 3-8)

Bossy Bird is the largest, loudest and bossiest bird of the bunch.  When the fed up flock ruffles HIS feathers, he leaves the safety of the group.  With danger crouching around the corner, Bossy Bird must find a way to save the birds that sent him away and discovers that being the boss is not as important as being a friend.

 

#2 Greg – THE BATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE (PB ages 3-8)
Bogie wakes up to a strange new smell in his puppy nose. He goes to investigate and discovers a tray of paint in the living room. He dives in and enjoys the wonderful new scent and texture.

His brother discovers a paint soaked Bogie and decides to get him cleaned off before their parents return. His brother uses Bogie’s favorite toys and food to lure him into the bath with no luck. What will it take to give Bogie a bath, or is he destined to remain a colorful pooch forever?

#3 Sam – Crab And Gull (PB ages 4-8)

Gull wants Crab’s sandwich. Crab wants Gull to leave him and his sandwich alone. But when Gull goes missing, Crab’s treat just doesn’t taste as sweet. He packs up his food in search of Gull, and finds that sometimes cooking up a friendship a more important than cooking up a seaweed sandwich.

#4 Lindsay – BREAKDANCE BERTIE (PB ages 3-8)

With a grand-prize pool at stake, Bertie the emu wants to wiggle her way to victory in a breakdancing competition, but when hail destroys the boombox, Bertie and her barnyard pals must build their own beat.

#5 Lydia – Dancing Through Space (PB ages 3-7)

3-2-1- Blast off! Dr. Mae Jemison launches into space and accomplishes her childhood dream. Despite challenges along the way, she never gave up and went on to become the first African-American woman to orbit the earth.

July Pitch Pick

Please read through the 4 pitches below and then vote for the one you think most deserving of a read and critique from editor Erin Molta by Sunday September 25 at 5 PM EDT.  Winner will be announced next Wednesday (Sept. 28)

#1 Susan – PIZZA FOR THANKSGIVING? (PB ages 3-8)

As Thanksgiving approaches, Lennie is determined to save himself and the other turkeys from their dinner fate.  After his adoption plan, escape attempt and turkey slim down plan fall short, the gobbler must turn the tables with a dinner scheme that will deliver the rescue they need before they all become the main course.

 

#2 PJ – CAMP CRAZY MEATBALLS (PB ages 3-6)

CAMP CRAZY MEATBALLS is a zany picture book about siblings Matt and Morgan. Mom insists they go to camp for a week to break their routine of TV and computer games. But this camp isn’t quite what the kids expected. First, the counselors are talking animals, and second, everything—and I mean EVERYTHING— is made out of meatballs. Even their beds! And meatballs is the only thing on the menu! At first, the kids are thrilled—what kid doesn’t like meatballs—but meatballs morning, noon and night soon drives everyone crazy. In the end, the kids dream up a clever way to solve the dilemma and develop a new appreciation for broccoli.

#3 Robyn – FEAR ON THE MOUNTAIN (Upper MG ages 9-12)

What was supposed to be an idyllic birthday of fun and horseback riding becomes a grueling test of survival.
Thirteen-year-old Anna, a diabetic, doesn’t plan on getting lost in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina without her insulin bottle. But that’s what happens, thanks to the carelessness of Claire, her best friend.
When Claire’s horse gets loose they leave the trail to find him. They find themselves lost with nighttime closing in. Wild animals, a storm, and devastating injuries won’t stop Anna from searching for a way down the mountain. Or will they?

 

#4 Amy – Grizzie Moon Does NOT Like Cats! (PB ages 3-6)

When Bob the cat accidentally ruins Grizzie Moon’s extraordinary ghoul stew, he must find a way to save the recipe and win the favor of this persnickety witch before her Stitch and Witch Club arrives.

Phew!  All that reading and trying to decide which of those amazing pitches is the MOST amazing and deserves your vote is hard work!  I think it’s time for Something Chocolate (though of course when do I ever NOT think that? 🙂 )  How about some No Bake Brownie Batter Cheesecake?!

I thought you’d like that!  How can you go wrong when the title includes the words “no bake”, “brownie batter” and cheesecake”?

I believe second helpings are in order… there were TWO pitch picks after all… 🙂

Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Tina who says, “I am Tina  Shepardson , age 50, completing my 27 th year of teaching . Currently I teach grade 6, most of those years have been in the middle school level . My husband and I have a 13 year old daughter , Payton. Our other children are 2 furry Akitas , a breed we adore.  I am working on my next career as it would be a dream co e true to write and visit children and teach in a different way.”

Find her on the web at https://www.facebook.com/tinamshepardson

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Madeleine’s Crowning Moment

Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)

The Pitch: Madeleine, a dog living in a shelter is looking for a sense of belonging and desire to make a difference. She has always wanted to compete in a pageant and discovers and opportunity to compete . Her experience leads her to learn a great deal about others . Will she achieve her goals and make a difference?

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Tina improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)

 

Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read It in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above.  There are openings in October, so you have a little time to polish your pitch before putting it up for helpful feedback and have a chance to have it read by editor Erin Molta!

Tina is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  And I am looking forward to getting my kitchen sink fixed!  The sprayer broke, so every time I turn the water on, the sprayer sprays wildly and no water whatsoever comes out of the faucet.  It’s like an April Fool prank every time 🙂  The plumber assures me he can come fix it Saturday (by which point I will probably have soaked every item of clothing I possess by turning the water on with my mind on whatever story I’m writing and forgetting about that sprayer 🙂 )

Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! 🙂