Would You Read It Wednesday #81 – The Adventures Of Tomato And Pea (Chapter Book)

Happy Would You Read It Wednesday, Everyone!

I’m up to my ears this week, so just you watch how succinct I am today.  It will be a lesson in brevity! (I can hear you!  Stop that snickering.  I can be brief – I’ll prove it! :))

Since this weekend is Easter, our Something Chocolate today shall be Rabbit Hole Cupcakes! 🙂

photo credit Stacy S. Jensen used by permission

Yum!

Now… (brevity in action…)

Today’s pitch comes to us from none other than This Kid Erik!  Eleven-year-old Erik plans to eventually take over the world. Right now he’s a bit too young, so he is spending time as a fifth grade student, book review blogger and hopeful writer.  Erik blogs at This Kid Reviews Books.

Working Title: The Adventures Of Tomato And Pea
Age/Genre: Chapter Book (ages 7 and up) – intended as the first of a series.
The Pitch: For years the evil villain Wintergreen has tried to destroy super crime-stopper, Tomato, and his sidekick, Pea, and take over planet Oarg. In a plan gone wrong, Wintergreen and his gang tangle with Tomato and his friends in a runaway rocket ship that crashes on a strange planet called EAR-TH. Follow this brawling bunch of aliens as they try to get along, survive all the dangers on the strange planet, and find a way to get back to Oarg.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Erik improve his pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in June so polish up your pitches for your chance to be read by editor Erin Molta!

Erik is looking forward to your thoughts on his pitch!  I am looking forward to jelly beans… and chocolate 🙂

Have a great day, everyone! 🙂

71 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #81 – The Adventures Of Tomato And Pea (Chapter Book)

  1. Diane Tulloch says:

    Yes I would certainly read this. I can just imagine the cover of this story, very bright and eye catching. Loved the tightening advice Wendy and the others have given. Great job Erik, Whoahoo!

  2. Rachel says:

    Erik's story sounds great. I read the pitch to my 7 year old daughter and she said “I'd like to read that story. Can you get it for me please Mum.” I liked how he used runaway rocket ship and brawling bunch of aliens. The story sounds adventurous and the pitch entices you to read more.

  3. Julie Rowan-Zoch says:

    I don't know how I missed this – WAIT – I was sick on Wednesday! I like Wendy G.'s suggestion to tighten the first two lines. But I'd suggest tightening a little more “tangles with super crime-stopping duo, Tomato and Pea,…”Good luck, Erik!

  4. Lauri Meyers says:

    Stacy's cupcakes inspired my angel food rabbit hole cake for Easter!

    I would read this, or perhaps if I had a son, my son would read it. 🙂

    This last sentence could be tightened: “… try to get along, survive all the dangers on the strange planet, and find a way to get back to Oarg.” I'd like to see specificity – what kind of dangers? Italian chefs? Gum chewing teens? And more emotion around why they have to try to get along now that they are stuck on earth together. Good job, Erik!

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