Would You Read It Wednesday #81 – The Adventures Of Tomato And Pea (Chapter Book)

Happy Would You Read It Wednesday, Everyone!

I’m up to my ears this week, so just you watch how succinct I am today.  It will be a lesson in brevity! (I can hear you!  Stop that snickering.  I can be brief – I’ll prove it! :))

Since this weekend is Easter, our Something Chocolate today shall be Rabbit Hole Cupcakes! 🙂

photo credit Stacy S. Jensen used by permission


Now… (brevity in action…)

Today’s pitch comes to us from none other than This Kid Erik!  Eleven-year-old Erik plans to eventually take over the world. Right now he’s a bit too young, so he is spending time as a fifth grade student, book review blogger and hopeful writer.  Erik blogs at This Kid Reviews Books.

Working Title: The Adventures Of Tomato And Pea
Age/Genre: Chapter Book (ages 7 and up) – intended as the first of a series.
The Pitch: For years the evil villain Wintergreen has tried to destroy super crime-stopper, Tomato, and his sidekick, Pea, and take over planet Oarg. In a plan gone wrong, Wintergreen and his gang tangle with Tomato and his friends in a runaway rocket ship that crashes on a strange planet called EAR-TH. Follow this brawling bunch of aliens as they try to get along, survive all the dangers on the strange planet, and find a way to get back to Oarg.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Erik improve his pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in June so polish up your pitches for your chance to be read by editor Erin Molta!

Erik is looking forward to your thoughts on his pitch!  I am looking forward to jelly beans… and chocolate 🙂

Have a great day, everyone! 🙂

71 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #81 – The Adventures Of Tomato And Pea (Chapter Book)

  1. Angela Brown says:

    Tomato and Pea. That is one veggie-tastic duo.I'd have to say that I would read it. It sounds interesting to take the enemies and force them into an unfamiliar situation where it sounds like learning to work together would be the only way they can figure out how to get back home. Talk about the conflict that can come from that 🙂

  2. delores @ thefeatherednest says:

    This sounds fabulous. I'd love to read it. And now, strangely, I'm thinking of lunch. I wonder if I have a can of peas in the cupboard?

  3. pennyklostermann says:

    I would read this for sure! There is a lot of humor in the pitch which interested me right away!

    Yum…thanks for the cupcakes! That Stacy is a creative cook!

  4. Pam says:

    Wow, the voice in this is amazing! And, it sounds like Erik's got a good plot to boot. Yes, I would read it. Looking forward to reading your novels someday!

  5. Wendy Greenley says:

    You're mean Susanna, teasing us with those cupcakes!

    Yes, I would read. It sounds like a funny story, Erik. Mixing humor and aliens is always good! Perhaps the pitch could be tightened a bit. Maybe incorporate much of the first sentence into the second?

    In a plan gone wrong, the evil/villain Wintergreen tangles with super crime-stopperTomato and his sidekick Pea in a runaway rocket ship that crashes on a strange planet called EAR-TH. Follow this brawling bunch of aliens as they try to get along, survive the dangers and find a way home to planet Oarg.

  6. Teresa Robeson says:

    Stacy's cupcakes look droolicious! I never got around to making them on Monday so may have to make them tomorrow. Mmmm.

    Eric is a wunderkind! I know several kids who want to write, but I've not seen the type of dedication and savvy that Eric demonstrates.

    Yes, I would certainly read Eric's “battle of the vegetation”! I like Wendy's shortening of it. If Eric wants to maintain the idea that they'd been fighting for years, he could stick use “Arch-nemesis” or “Arch-enemy” to preface Wintergreen (as in, “When a plan goes awry, Tomato, his side-kick, Pea, and their friends end up with his Arch-nemesis Wintergreen and his henchmen in a runaway rocket ship that crashes on a strange planet called EAR-TH.”

    I also suggest something like “Now these perennial enemies must learn to work together to survive all the dangers on…(etc)”

    Really adorable premise!

  7. Patricia Tilton says:

    Yes, I would read it. Very creative idea. I really like how Wendy tightened your pitch. But also like some of Teresa's suggestions and play on words may be fun to incorporate. You really got some great advice.

  8. Cynthia says:

    I'm impressed with the voice in this pitch. I honestly don't have much to add that is different from anyone else. I think the idea of adding arch nemiss would be a great addition and I it sounds like a strong story line.

  9. Cheryl Secomb says:

    I would read it! I'm intrigued by the conflict between the evil villain and the super crime-stopper. I love the idea of them crashing on EAR-TH. How fun! And then I can see the potential for a great story in how they must work together to get back home.

  10. Joanna Marple says:

    Erik, I love the advice you have already received. I would most definitely read it and you built up the anticipation masterfully. I so want to read about the dynamic duo, Tomato and Pea!

  11. Sian says:

    Yes, I'd read it too, adventure and humour sounds good to me! It needs a little tightening up to make it shorter but other than that I think its great.

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