Would You Read It Wednesday #98 – The Tomato Turner Gets A Job (PB)

I was going to post on Monday.  Really, I was.  But then we got invited out to dinner Sunday evening (which was lovely) and by the time I got home it was late and, well, you know how these things go…  So lucky you – you got another day off 🙂

It is high summer here on Blueberry Hill.  The bear passes by occasionally on his way from one patch of blueberry bushes to another.  The hummingbirds are hard at work raising their families, which requires a lot of calories…

… the twin fawns are growing…

this one is nursing…
and here they both are (sorry about photo quality – I was a little far away for the iPhone 🙂

…and if we could get more than one consecutive minute without rain, my flowers might stop looking like they drowned 🙂  Or they might not because, let’s face it, I AM the Black Thumb of Poughquag 🙂

So now that you’ve seen summer on Blueberry Hill, I think it’s time for Something Chocolate.  What should we have today?  How about…

Triple Chocolate Cookies???  YUM!

Okay.

Enough chit-chat 🙂  It’s time to get down to Would You Read It business!  Vivian is being very patient 🙂

Today’s pitch comes to us from Vivian whom you may remember from previous pitches for other PBs in the Tomato Turner series – The Tomato Turner and Confessions Of The Tomato Turner).  Vivian is passionate about picture books – her mission is to help children become lovers of books and reading. She’s a former kindergarten teacher and a current grandmother of four. Although she always thought of herself as a timid sort of person, she’s had some really BIG adventures. Two years ago, she went skydiving with her son. This May, she stepped out of her comfort zone again and took her first international flight to the 2013 Asian Festival of Children  Content/SCBWI Conference in Singapore. In one of her presentations, shared her book, Show Me How! Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem Through Reading, Crafting and Cooking,and spoke to parents and teachers about the importance of reading picture books to young children. Her goal is to write a picture book story that will have kids saying, “Read it again, please!” Last this year, she and her husband will be leaving the Colorado Rockies and returning to the East Coast to be closer to family. She blogs at Picture Books Help Kids Soar and you can connect with her on Twitter andFacebook. 

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: The Tomato Turner Gets A Job
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4 and up)
The Pitch: No matter how many times Peter counts the money in his piggy-bank, it’s still not enough to buy the new bike he needs. The six-year old must find a quick way to earn some real money – summer vacation is only two weeks away and Peter wants to join his best friends’ team when they compete in the annual bike relay race.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Vivian improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in August so we’re about ready for some new pitches!  Send yours for your chance to be read by editor Erin Molta!

Vivian is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to teaching my August picture book class (which starts tomorrow :)) and to seeing if I can scrounge up enough time to read Through The Ever Night by Veronica Rossi and Reached by Ally Condie which I’ve been wanting to read for ages!  Anyone else love YA dystopian? 🙂

Happy Wednesday, everyone! 🙂

85 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #98 – The Tomato Turner Gets A Job (PB)

  1. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    Thank you so much, Erik! I'm glad you liked the idea of a young kid being willing to work to get something he wanted.:) And thank you for the kind words about the pitch.:)

  2. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    Hi Rachel…I really appreciate your comments about what the tone of the story will be…that will help me move in the right direction as I revise and polish it…I need to be clear with what I am doing…then, perhaps, I'll be able to make it clear in the pitch.:) Right now, I'm leaning towards humor and heartwarming.:)

  3. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    So glad you liked the story idea, Catherine! And I appreciate your feedback…I love the 'fast' at the end also.:)

  4. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    That's great that you would turn the page, Sue! It's what we all want to get people to do, right? I appreciate your positive feedback! 🙂

  5. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    YES! Thanks so much, Linda…Peter is a real kid…and he definitely had quite a few genuine problems while growing up.:) Can't wait to get down to Angela's suggestions…everyone has been referring to them.:)

  6. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    WOW! Love your shuffle, Angela! I appreciate your kind words about the pitch…but you made it better. 🙂

  7. Pam Brunskill says:

    Hi Susanna, What beautiful wildlife! As for Vivian's pitch, yes I would read it! It sound like a story kids can relate to, and is a real-life problem. I wonder if there's a way to tease the reader with some of the things Peter tries to earn money so we get a sense of the mood of the piece? Good luck!

  8. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    The Knife of Never Letting Go series by Patrick Ness; Ally Condie's series – Matched, Crossed, and Reached; Lauren Oliver's Delirium, Pandemonium and Requiem; the I Am Number 4 series by Pittacus Lore (I've only read the first, but it was good and I've got two or three more on my Kindle :)); Veronica Roth's Divergent, Insurgent and Allegiant (coming out in October yay!); Veronica Rossi's Under The Never Sky and Through The Ever Night (third one not out yet); oh and Daughter Of Smoke And Bone and Days Of Blood And Starlight by Laini Taylor not sure when the 3rd is coming out but wish it would hurry up! and also Skin Hunger and Sacred Scars by Kathleen Duey, third one coming out in a year or so…. That's all that comes to the top of my head just now, but probably more than you bargained for 🙂

  9. Julie says:

    Hee, hee, this is the first but hopefully not that last time someone says something so fine about my writing! I'll cherish this, Vivian!

  10. theresamilstein says:

    I'd like to know what he does to attempt to earn the $. This way, I'll know more about Peter. I know what he wants. I know what's preventing him from getting it. Now I need to know what he does, so I know the plot.

  11. Ruth Schiffmann says:

    Yes, I would read it. The pitch is clear and concise and Peter's motivation is one we can all understand. I am left wondering what kind of job(s) he might try, but maybe that curiosity is good – it would get me to read the book!

  12. Linda A. Benson says:

    I think this is a tight pitch, but it got me wondering what would happen if you flipped the emphasis to something like:

    The Pitch: The annual summer bike relay is only two weeks away, but no matter how many times Peter counts the money in his piggy-bank, it's still not enough to buy the new bike he needs to join his best friends' team. The six-year old must find a quick way to earn some real money!

    Just a thought 🙂

    cheers

    Linda A. Benson

  13. Caryn Caldwell says:

    Wow! Looks like a great summer! I love hummingbirds, and those deer are adorable. Must have been such a treat to see them. And on the subject of treats, you have any extra cookies? Because now I want some.

    The pitch sounds good, too — like something that would interest six-year-olds because many of them are in similar situations.

  14. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    Thanks so much, Caryn…so sorry I have been late to respond to your lovely comment. We are moving next month…and this month is devoted to…going through DECADES of accumulation.

  15. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    Linda…I so appreciate your help in making the pitch better! Sorry I did not see this comment until now…packing for our move has been somewhat overwhelming.:)

  16. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    I, too, am responding late…we are in the midst of going through cabinets and drawers and closets…listing stuff we don't need/want on Craigslist…answering emails from people who want to come to see the items…time-consuming…but wonderfully freeing as well.:)
    Thank you so much, Ruth, for your wonderful comments…it's always a question…should we tell…or keep the curiosity going.:) I appreciate your kind words.:)

  17. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    Thanks so much, Theresa…I'm going to see how to add a little about what Peter is planning, without giving away too much!

  18. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    Pam…you and others are looking for a little bit more about how Peter will earn his money…I agree it would add interest to the pitch…now I just have to figure out how to, as you put it, 'tease' the reader.:) 🙂 Thank you so much for your help.

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