Would You Read It Wednesday #121 – Fee Fi Fo Flub (PB) AND Straight From The Editor AND The January Pitch Pick!

Sorry I missed you all on Monday.

I’ve got 5 words for you:

Man cold in the house!

‘Nuff said 🙂

So!  We’ve got a doozy of a day!

Sometime in the holiday swirl, we lost track of Straight From The Editor for the November Pitch Winner.  Luckily, the people in charge around here are Extremely Alert and tend to notice such ball-dropping incidents within 2 to 3 months 🙂  So here is Straight From The Editor for November 2013 🙂

You will recall that the winner was Steve with his picture book pitch for Rashad Saves The World.  Here is his pitch:

Rashad is tired of being the youngest and the least important member of his family. When he learns at school that he can save the world, he leaps straight into action and straight into trouble with his family as cell phones disappear down toilets and ice cream turns into soup. And when he accidentally demolishes the garden of his fearsome next door neighbour, his career as a Super Hero seems to have come to an abrupt end. Will he still be able to save the world? Perhaps he already has …

And here is what editor Erin Molta had to say about it:

Sounds like a cute story! But it’s a little confusing and an editor would spend too much time trying to figure out what exactly you mean. I think this sentence needs to be more clear: straight into trouble with his family as cell phones disappear down toilets and ice cream turns into soup. Why would his family’s cell phones disappear? Is he trying to save them from cell phone brain damage or is he using the cell phones to create something? Ice cream into soup also needs a clarifier. Brief and then you don’t need the bit about his neighbor.

As always, I find Erin’s thoughts extremely helpful!

Now, I’m sure we’re all feeling a bit peaked after all that reading and processing, so how about a sustaining snack?

In celebration of Valentines Day which is practically here, let’s have Something Chocolate 🙂

From The Girl Who Ate Everything

Isn’t that a thing of beauty?  And deliciousness? 🙂

Next item on the agenda is the December/January Pitch Pick.  We have 5 fabulous entries:

#1 Beth
Tomboy Rules: Blossoms Are Always Prepared (MG)

Mabel is so close to playing baseball she can almost see her spitting distance improving.Mabel’s mom thinks she should work on sitting still instead. So they make a deal: Mabel can play baseball in the spring, but only if she learns to fit in with the local Blossoms Troop first. But that isn’t easy. Mabel turns square dancing into a contact sport, saves a spider like she’s sliding into second base, and wolfs down the entire cookie sale stash. That’s three strikes and she’s out of Blossoms, but Mabel is not about to let that stop her. She sneaks to the campsite to make amends and discovers she isn’t the only intruder crashing the camp-out. With the Blossoms trapped between a smelly skunk and a sizzling fire, Mabel realizes that she’s the only one who can save the Blossoms from the stinky situation.

#2 Rena
The Witch’s Brew – (YA)

Ten years after the disappearance of sibling pair Hansel and Gretel, Gretel’s body is unearthed. All evidence points to Carmen Caramelo a.k.a. the Candy Witch. Fuelled by her own false arrest and her growing attraction to the witch’s son, sixteen-year-old Amy Faye, will stop at nothing to prove Carmen’s innocence. Unfortunately for Amy, that also means risking her reputation, her friendships and even her life, all in the name of justice. John Grisham’s The Accused meets Bill Willingham’sFables: Peter and Max.

#3 Joy
Tell Me About The Baby (MG Verse)
After the death of her parents, 13 year old Sara moves in with her older brother and his pregnant wife. With a brother who acts like her father, and a sister-in-law who resents having a teen to raise before she’s even had a baby, Sara grieves for her old life.  Used to being the baby of the family, Sara isn’t  happy with this new arrangement. Will she find a way to adjust to her new life?

#4 Kirsten
Gwynivere The Ear Finds Her Nose (PB ages 5-7)
Gwynivere the Ear, self-proclaimed superhero, can hear citizens in distress from miles away.  Unfortunately, chaos seems to follow Gwynivere closely; almost as closely as her arch nemesis, Nosy Rosy.  And, as much as Gwynivere proclaims that “superheroes don’t need help,” she will soon discover that everyone can use a helping hand (or nose) once in awhile.

#5 Stacy
Simon Wants To Help – (PB ages 4-8)
Simon’s idea of helping isn’t the same as his mother’s. He empties the bookshelf, dusts the floor with his body, and scatters toys around his room. Simon feels his assistance isn’t needed, until one turn of a lock gives him a chance to make things better.

Please vote for the pitch you feel most deserves a read by editor Erin Molta in the poll below by Sunday February 16 at 5 PM EST.

Many thanks!

Now, finally!, today’s pitch comes to us from Pam B, whom we met before with her pitch for Flood Dogs last April (WYRI #82).  Pam says, “Professionally I was a 3rd and 6th grade teacher before becoming an instructor in Early Childhood and Adolescent Education at Bloomsburg University.  Currently I’m taking time away from teaching to focus on my family and my writing.  You can follow me on Twitter @PamBrunskill.”

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Fee Fi Fo Flub
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: Mini’s thrilled to have a part in her school’s production of Gog and the Beanstalk, and she takes her role seriously. But frustrating dialogue, panicked practices, and a giant blunder make Mini realize that sometimes creativity and flexibility are what’s needed to carry the show.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Pam improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in March so you’ve got a little time to polish up your pitches and send yours for your chance to be read by editor Erin Molta!

Pam is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to Spring.  Seriously!  We’re supposed to get up to another foot of snow by tomorrow night, so pretty much all I can think of is green grass and flowers and sunshine!  I will leave you with this in hopes that it will help drive winter away for a moment or two 🙂

Have a wonderful, productive and happy Wednesday everyone! 🙂

77 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #121 – Fee Fi Fo Flub (PB) AND Straight From The Editor AND The January Pitch Pick!

  1. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Glad you liked Erin's thoughts and thanks so much for voting, Teresa! And thanks for your thoughts for Pam. Those cupcakes ARE mini, so you might need 2 dozen to keep warm if the temperature at your house is anything like it is here 🙂

  2. Karen Mae Zoccoli says:

    After imagining myself eating today's delicious cupcake, and voting, I finally got to today's pitch! Yes, I would definitely read it as I love school plays. As with other comments already given, I didn't realize this was about giants, but maybe if I hadn't been in a sugar-coma from the yummy cupcake I would have gotten that from the title (which I really liked btw!) I, too, think the pitch needs a little more pitching so we know what's really at stake for Mini other than normal theatre chaos–what is it that she learns or changes from/because of? Thanks for sharing this, Pam, and Happy Wednesday!

  3. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    Thanks for your thoughts for Ms. Brunskill, Erik. And my all means, help yourself to cupcakes. You are a growing boy, and you must fuel up properly for what will most likely be another day off from school tomorrow 🙂

  4. Pam Brunskill says:

    You got it, Genevieve! She wants the school play to go exactly as it always had. I'll tweak the pitch to make this clearer. 🙂

  5. Vivian Kirkfield says:

    Erin definitely has a way with cutting to the chase…her pitch critiques are always helpful!
    I voted…although it was difficult because all 5 stories sound intriguing.:)
    And YES, Pam, I would certainly read your story. I, too, need some clarification about 'panicked practices'…but the pitch is great and not too wordy.:)

  6. Stacy Couch says:

    Great pitches, guys! I wanted to vote at least twice.

    I too love the concept of the book, Pam. And ADORE how it's “Gog and the Beanstalk”: the giant's POV–not Jack's.

    You've already heard great advice: clarify the giant POV, specific details about the stakes, voice. Not an easy task: “Mini was never the most flexible little giant?” But the story's so unique, I can't wait to see what you do.

  7. Lyla Anne says:

    Hi, great pitch Pam! I read through all the critics and it looks everything has been covered, just wanted to say that YES i would read it!

  8. Sue Heavenrich says:

    I love the idea of panicked practices and forced improvisation. If Gog is a giant (as others have said) – I totally didn't understand that. Is Mini a very small person? I would read this though – because I want to know what “giant blunder” could possibly befall a school play.

  9. Stacy S. Jensen says:

    I'm late to the party, eating cupcake crumbs and reading all the wonderful comments. I love the story idea Pam and think it's covered in the other comments. Good luck.

  10. :Donna Marie says:

    Susanna, your food pictures are THE best! Btw, I just recently “gave” a pic of your “Happy Cake” to an illustrator who had a book birthday 🙂 Of course, I told her I got it here 😉

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