Would You Read It Wednesday #257 – Little Medusa’s Hair Do-Lemma (PB) PLUS The May Pitch Winner!!!

Hi Everyone!

So glad you could make it 🙂

Actually, I’m glad I could make it!  I’ve been so busy this week I almost forgot it was Wednesday!

I am busy planning the launch of WHEN YOUR LION NEEDS A BATH, WHEN YOUR ELEPHANT HAS THE SNIFFLES and THE ROAD THAT TRUCKS BUILT.  A fun-filled blog tour is in the making and I hope you’ll all join the high jinx and shenanigans!

But for now, it’s a regular Wednesday so let’s jump right in, shall we?

First of all, the winner of the May Pitch Pick was Cortney with her PB pitch for Olive Hills!  Congratulations, Cortney!  Your pitch is on its way to editor Erin Molta for her thoughts!!!

Congratulations also to our other pitchers who worked hard to write and revise their pitches and bravely put them up for all of us to learn from.  I hope it was a helpful experience.  And I have to say, this particular group had about the closest voting results I’ve ever seen on WYRI, so you must all have done an unusually good job!!!

Since summer is officially here, and cherries are in season and go so well with chocolate, how about some Triple Chocolate Cherry Cake for our Something Chocolate this morning?

TRIPLE CHOCOLATE CHERRY CAKE

chocolatecherrycake-5

Recipe HERE at Averie Cooks

Delicious AND nutritious!!!  (I mean, it has cherries in it!  That’s fruit! 🙂 )

Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Jenny who says, “I graduated from Making Picture Book Magic in 2015 with an advanced degree in Kidlit and honors in Chocolate Appreciation.  I’m an active participant in the 12 x 12 community and a member of SCBWI.  While I regularly write non-fiction for Cricket Media, I’m chasing the dream of becoming a published picture book author.  Every line, every draft, is one step closer to success!”

Find her on Twitter @Yangmommy

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Little Medusa’s Hair Do-Lemma

Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 3-6)

The Pitch: Little Medusa loves everything about snakes–just as long as they’re not slithering and sliding through her hair!  She’s tangled up in knots trying to follow tradition.  Using her imagination and heart, Little Medusa tries her best to please her family, her snake and herself.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Jenny improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)

Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above.  There are openings in July, so you could get your pitch up pretty soon for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta!

Jenny is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to continuing work on the upcoming blog tour because I want it to be really special for you all!

Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! 🙂

 

20 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #257 – Little Medusa’s Hair Do-Lemma (PB) PLUS The May Pitch Winner!!!

  1. Wendy says:

    It’s great to be busy for such a wonderful reason, Susanna! I will be cheering you on. 🙂

    I would definitely read. I love mythology, and the idea of introducing kids in this way (even though I DON’T love snakes). Because we know the myth, IMO you don’t need to add specificity to the pitch. Great idea, Jenny! My only suggestion is to delete “and sliding.” I think slithering gets the point across (shivering as I type that). Good luck with this one!

  2. ptnozell says:

    Susanna, great to share cherries today: I see a great big one atop the sundaes you’ll be enjoying during all of the fundays ahead! Congrat’s on all of your successes!

    Jenny, I definitely would read this – like Wendy, I’m not a snake lover, but I love mythology & I love that you’re breaking the stereotype of girls afraid of snakes. The only thing I would add is a name for Medusa’s snake (I noted that you changed to singular when mentioning the one in her hair), as I have the sense that the snake is also a character. Great job & congrats on achieving honors in Chocolate Appreciation.

    • yangmommy says:

      Thanks so much for stopping by! Yes, the snake has a name but to find out, you’d have to read the story 😉 Here’s to more chocolate, LOL!

  3. Jen Bagan says:

    Congrats on your book launches and blog tour, Susanna!

    Jenny – this is a fantastic pitch and I’d definitely read it. It’s succinct with an interesting concept and love the word play. Great job!

  4. Erik says:

    Bring it on! I love the premise, and it sounds like it has the potential to be really cute (also, I’m a sucker for anything related to Classical myth :).

    I do have one thought about the pitch itself: “Using her imagination and heart” is fairly generic, and feels flat in the middle of this otherwise engaging and highly-specific entry. You could work around that pretty easily, maybe something like (purely as an example!), “She wants to follow (family?) tradition, but gets tangled up in knots trying to please her family, her snake and herself.”

    Good luck!

    • yangmommy says:

      I appreciate your comments, Erik. You have a point–that one phrase is rather “bleh.” Will work on! 🙂

  5. Geoffrey Hyatt says:

    You are clearly a clever writer – even in the short pitch you put in good work play and great use of language. I couldn’t tell from the pitch if this Medusa has snakes in her hair, or snakes for hair, or just a pet snake – but if that is clear to everyone else then its just me. I also couldn’t tell what tradition she is trying to follow – is it to have snakes for hair? If it is snakes for hair, I’m not sure how I feel about it. I don’t think little kids are afraid of snakes (until they learn that fear from adults in the lives), and they probably think having snakes for hair is just funny. They won’t know about the mythology, and I couldn’t tell if this book is trying to introduce the mythology or if the name Medusa is just a clever name for a girl who loves her pet snake (which is a story that I think is clever, solid and fun – though I think most kids won’t understand why family or friends wouldn’t find a pet snake totally awesome). Anyway, so I’m confused – I’ll just get another coffee 🙂

    • yangmommy says:

      Thanks for reading my pitch, Geoffrey. Strangely enough, my story began with a girl wanting a snake for a pet, and morphed into a fractured-mythology, with the premise being, what if a Gorgon girl didn’t enjoy having a snake in her hair? So to answer your question–and join you in that cup of java–Little Medusa is a Gorgon girl who’s surprised/disappointed in herself that she doesn’t enjoy having a serpent in her hair, thus having to cope with family tradition 🙂

  6. Genevieve Petrillo says:

    I would read this. I’m not a fan of mythology, but know Medusa, and this story sounds hilarious. I love the line, “She’s tangled up in knots trying to follow tradition.” It might be best to mention that her mom had snake hair (and maybe her mom before her) or did they? I would also clarify her exact situation – Pet snake that visits her hair? Multiple snakes living in her hair with a pet snake that doesn’t? I love a story where a girl likes snakes! I don’t, but I still love a story where one does! Yikes. Good luck!

  7. Luan Hall Pitsch (@luanpitsch) says:

    Yes!
    My suggestion is to tinker with the first sentence because the way it reads it sounds like sometimes the snakes are there and sometimes they’re not. “Little Medusa loves everything about snakes–except their constant slithering and sliding through her hair.”
    But LOVE the concept. New, fresh, wonderful

    • yangmommy says:

      Hi Luan! Thanks for coming by and taking a peak; I really appreciate it. And great call on the first line. I’ll take a closer look at it 🙂

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s