It’s May! It’s May! The lovely month of May!
Okay. It’s possible the original version of that song had a word other than “lovely” but this is supposed to be an E for Everyone blog… 😊
Here on Blueberry Hill we are still having April Showers… always a little behind the times up on ye olde mountain top!… but we also have more than 4 dandelions, so May is definitely trying to get her foot in the door!
In other news, Amazon and Barnes & Noble indicate that WHY A DAUGHTER NEEDS A DAD is having a book birthday today, in plenty of time for folks to pick one up for Father’s Day or any day 😊 B&N recognizes me as an author, Amazon does not (I have no explanation) but I did in fact write the words! 😊
Artist Sydney Hanson did such a fantastic job, don’t you think?! 😊
Okay, sorry! I’ll stop! Everyone put on your serious face and we’ll be all business from here on in!
First, I’m thrilled to announce that the winner of the February/March Pitch Pick is one of the Sarahs (not surprising since we had 3 of them!) for her pitch for Trapped In Trash!
Congratulations, Sarah (Hetu-Radny lest there be any Sarah confusion)! Your pitch is on its way to editor Erin Molta for her thoughts!
And congratulations to all our other pitchers for stepping out of their comfort zones and bravely posting their pitches for constructive criticism and a learning experience for all of us. Even though Erin won’t read these pitches, I hope you all got enough helpful feedback from our fabulous readers to feel that you have stronger pitches now than you did when you started! (Also, I want you to know this is the closest Pitch Pick vote we’ve ever had – all the pitches were within 4 votes of each other and there was a tie for second! So you should all feel good!)
To celebrate Sarah, congratulate our other pitchers on their wonderful work, and thank our amazing, generous, and helpful readers, I think it’s time for Something Chocolate! How about some Peanut Butter Oreo Dessert!
Peanut Butter Oreo Dessert
We can start a trend and have dessert for breakfast! Although, when I think about apple danish (essentially pie) and pancakes (I mean, come on, they have cake in the name!) I have a feeling we may not be the first to have come up with this idea… 😊
Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Nadine. Nadine is an elementary librarian for an urban PA school district. She loves how fortunate she is to be surrounded all day by books and children to share them with. She is a mom to three young men and two dachshunds.
Nadine has two picture books being published later this year by Blue Whale Press. You can visit her website Nadinepoper.weebly.com to learn more.
Find her on the web at:
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: Puffcaso
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: Pufferfish meets Picasso. The ocean art contest is days away. Pufferfish works hard at his project only to have it ruined by a hostile ocean dweller. A faceoff with his adversary leads Pufferfish to unexpected teamwork.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Nadine improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above. There are openings in June, so you could get your pitch up pretty soon for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta!
Nadine is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to taking my dad’s car for a oil change! (Yeah, I know, today’s agenda is a little less exciting than some…but you’ve got to find the fun, even when it appears to be lacking…! 😊)
Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! 😊
15 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday #322 – Puffcaso (PB) PLUS The February/March Pitch Winner!!!”
Yes, I would read this. It sounds like fun and has great hooks with art and pufferfish. I would like to know more about this hostile ocean adversary, although I can see that it might give away some parts of the story that Nadine might not want to reveal (for example, the adversary is a giant octopus and squirts ink all over a painting). Overall, it sounds really cute and I would love to open it up and look inside.
1. Yes I would read it because I love anything art!
2. I am so excited that the TRAPPED IN TRASH Pitch won!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!
3. I actually made the chocolate dessert last week and still have some of it left in my fridge!
Yes, I would read this. Excellent premise and opportunity for illustrations.
I would like a little bit more in the last sentence of the pitch. Judy an idea: “A face-off with his adversary leads Pufferfish to discover the beauty of teamwork.”
Happy book birthday Susanna!
Congratulations Sarah on your pitch win!
Yes, I would read this. The title pulls me in first thing! What a great illustration draw. Try switching out some of the common verbs to add focus and curiosity for pitch reader to pull them in even more.
Yes, I’d read this, although the first sentence threw me at first. Does the pufferfish meet Picasso? If not, perhaps reword to indicate that Pufferfish thinks he’s a real Picasso. I’d also suggest sprinkling in more art terms (a project can be anything, but a masterpiece or creation would indicate artistic ability, in my humble opinion). I look forward to reading a revised pitch and your upcoming picture books.
Susanna, what is wrong with those silly Amazon people? You should have been acknowledged for writing that adorable book!
Nadine, I would definitely read this story! I love the premise. I’m not sure you need the first sentence because it’s a bit confusing. If you are trying to explain the MC’s name, I think it will be obvious by the art show/project reference that Puffcaso is an artist. Perhaps up the tension a bit by making “works hard” something else like “pours his heart into” or “spends days creating”…
If it doesn’t give too much away, it might be fun to know what type of “hostile” ocean dweller is the adversary.
Best of luck!
Yes, I would definitely read this. I agree with others who said that the first sentence is confusing. Maybe reword it some to make it clearer, unless of course Pufferfish is actually meeting Picasso. I would also like to know a little more about the adversary or what other creatures I might meet in this story.
Sounds like a cute story, Nadine!
Yes! I would definitely read this. I am intrigued by anything ocean, and am curious to know if a pufferfish has any attributes that contribute to the art he creates. How is Picasso brought into the story?
Undersea art drama sounds intriguing! The first line – Puffer meeting Picasso – is it the story opener, the conclusion, or the initial point of conflict? Maybe a few more words could clarify this. A little more specificity in line 3 could add spark/sparkle; maybe explain ‘ruined’ a bit more or give another clue about who the hostile on is. Final line works but I kinda want a hint about if ‘unexpected’ is more of the problem (so, it’s another bad twist) or if it’s the solution (i.e. good surprise).
First of all, congratulations, Susanna, on YOUR beautiful new book…I’m so sad that your name is not on the book…what is up with that? And here I was upset because the distributor of Sweet Dreams, Sarah had incorrect info in the Amazon synopsis…but at least my name is on the cover.
Second, hurray for Sarah…you have passion, productivity, persistence, and patience…all of the 4 P’s I say are important ingredients in this book publishing recipe. (and I’m looking forward to seeing you at NESCBWI this coming weekend!)
And Nadine…I’m so excited about your upcoming books…and I love your premise for this new one…pased on the pitch, I would definitely read it. I think you’ve gotten some great feedback here…all good wishes as you move forward with this manuscript!
Oh, and the dessert is absolutely perfect! Thanks, Susanna…but now I am hungry!
Thank you Vivian!
Yes I would read it. I was confused with the first line as well. Does he like painting in the style of Picasso? Is it like a mash-up of pufferfish qualities mixed with Picasso style?
Yes I would read it, but I agree with previous comments about the reference to Picasso. Is he studying Picasso to make his art?
Thank you everyone! I will do some tweaking. You are all amazing!
Yes, I would read it! I love the combo Puffcaso. Perfect conflict and teamwork premise.