Would You Read It Wednesday # 410 – Remmy’s Sticky Situation (PB)

It’s Wednesday! Let’s wind up for the pitch!

But first. . .

If you spend any time around kids, you have no doubt been challenged to a variety of tongue twisters. My sister and I had two favorites when we were kids: “toy boat” and “rubber baby buggy bumper” ((say either of them at least 3 times fast!)

But the most recent one I got challenged to (which I can barely say 1 time without messing up 😊) is “Irish wristwatch, Swiss wristwatch” Go on! I dare you!

It’s hard, right?! 😊

So, if you’re casting about for a writing prompt today, why not have a go at writing something with tongue twisters? Dr. Seuss did it. You can, too!

I think it’s actually kind of a cool exercise, since it makes you really think about the sounds in words – something we care a lot about here in kidlit 😊

Here’s Something Chocolate to get you fueled up and ready to write – Cookie Dough Fudge! Looks scrumptious, doesn’t it?

Cookie Dough Fudge

Perhaps you’ll feel inspired to write a story full of tongue twisters about cookie dough fudge 😊

Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Cindy. Cindy is a kidlit writer, graphic designer, kid at heart, and lover of all things chocolate. She works full time in marketing but writing for kids is her happy place. She is also a member of the Write2Ignite Conference team (write2ignite.com) which offers virtual workshops for children’s writers and her website is cindylynnsawyer.net.

Find her on the web at:

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Remmy’s Sticky Situation

Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)

The Pitch: When Remmy raccoon’s cotton candy disappears, he blames his friends. But he finds himself in a sticky situation when he discovers the real reason for the mystery. Has he lost his best buds forever? How can Remmy show his friends that he is truly sorry?

So what do you think? Would you read it? YES, MAYBE, or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If you answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Cindy improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)

Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It, or on Would You Read It in the dropdown under For Writers in the menu bar above. There are openings as soon as next week (April 27), so you could get your pitch up pretty soon for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on my editor Erin Molta!

Cindy is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to seeing if I can figure out a story that has been percolating in my mind for about 2 weeks. . . I hope I can get it on paper, and I hope I love it when it gets there! 😊

Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! 😊

23 thoughts on “Would You Read It Wednesday # 410 – Remmy’s Sticky Situation (PB)

  1. readmybook2002 says:

    I would read it because I would like to see how the story evolves in this day of blaming others when it is not needed. (“Mom, Sam took my toy”, “No I didn’t ” Children see this all the time (pointing of fingers) so a story like this will do a world of good.

  2. robincurrie1 says:

    Probably. Love the sticky cotton candy situation! Understandable for kids today. I just finished writing an article on “High Concept Pitches” – can this pitch be reduced to 1 punchy sentence? “Remmy Raccoon accuses his friends of taking his cotton candy before the real reason for the mystery puts him in a sticky situation.” Well, you get the idea! Best wishes – lots of potential!

  3. palpbkids says:

    Cindy, this is great! Right up front it’s kids relatable with the raccoon, cotton candy and the need not to blame oneself. Then the guilt. Way to go!

  4. melissastiveson says:

    Yes, I would read it. Sounds cute and relatable to children (and many adults).

    Not sure if this is relevant or not, I’ve been told not to end a PB pitch with questions. So maybe “Fearing he lost is best buds forever, Remmy tries to show his friends he is truly sorry.”

  5. ingridboydston says:

    Hi Cindy! The situation has loads of potential and I think Robin Currie’s suggested one sentence pitch really strengthens the impact. You’re on to something good!
    Oh Susanna! I think I gained a pound just looking at the cookie dough fudge… 🤪

  6. Ellen Leventhal says:

    This sounds adorable. I agree with Melissa. Many agents have said to not end the pitch with a question. I think she has a great solution. Thanks for sharing and good luck! Sounds like a winner, and the illustrations will be hysterical!

  7. Mona Voelkel says:

    I am learning so much about pitches by reading this blog and all these responses! Thank you and good luck, Cindy, with your delightful book! Yes, I would read it because you had me at raccoons, cotton candy and the “sticky situation” made me think there would be humor! I would be all in to read this book!

  8. Jamie Donahoe says:

    Yes – I would read it because I am intrigued by the word “buds” and want to find out if it’s a story about friends or a story about taste buds! But I think the pitch could be stronger – suggestions for removing the questions in the pitch are solid.

  9. Bridget Magee says:

    Yes, I’d read it because the idea of a cotton candy eating raccoon is intriguing.
    That being said, I’d love some detail about Remmy’s “friends” – are they other raccoons or are we going to meet an array of animal friends?
    Specific details about who might have stolen the cotton candy can add to the intrigue.
    (Is a sweet toothed (fanged?) Cottonmouth snake capable of stealing cotton candy? 😉 )

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