Well, we saw some great colleges in Boston (which should probably be known as the college capital of the world because seriously there are so many there that you cannot spit without hitting one. And I’m not even a competitive long-distance spitter, just an average one :))
Somehow we and all the Boston drivers survived the adventure, but not because I was doing anything right. I do not like one way streets. I do not like traffic. I really do not like roundabouts! Who thought those up and why are they all over Massachusetts? They are terrifying!
And all the while my GPS was chirping cheerfully, “Proceed to highlighted route. Go southeast on Cambridge Street. In point one miles turn right, then turn left, then turn left,” while I thought things like if I knew how to get to the highlighted route, I wouldn’t need you! and how am I supposed to know which way is southeast? and we’re going in a circle! City driving is all well in good in a city that makes sense, like New York, but otherwise forget it! I was very happy to get back to normal roads.
not actually our bear but a look-alike
While we were gone, my daughter and the dogs had a run-in with our local bear (this has been like wild kingdom week!) She was out running, and came around a bend in the road. Brave Scouty sensed danger and charged ahead barking fiercely. Jemma skittered anxiously behind Scout and gave a few half-hearted woofs – as back-up she is very back-up and not much help but her heart is in the right place. The bear turned and looked at them all, but then turned away again and continued down the edge of the road toward our house. Being an intelligent lass, my daughter chose not to follow him. She rounded up the dogs (who needed no encouragement!) and went back the way she’d come to her grandparents’ house where she got grandpa to give her and the dogs a ride home. When they arrived, what should they see but the bear circling our house! The dogs ricocheted around the inside of the car barking like mad, and the bear ran off into the woods and really, the drama! The excitement! And I missed the whole thing and had to hear about it on the phone later!
There is never a dull moment around here!
And speaking of excitement, Phyllis had what I’m pretty sure was her last world tour stop. If you didn’t get to see it yet, please hop over to Robyn’s Place. There are strawberries involved. And a bikini. And rodeo riding! 🙂
And as if that wasn’t excitement enough, it’s time for Would You Read It! So grab your Something Chocolate (Au Bon Pain anyone?) and something to sip and see what you think about today’s pitch!
Today’s pitch comes to us from Rita. Rita says, “I have always loved writing letters, plays, stories any thing really since the age of 9. I have 3 kids that have made me stop writing for awhile but now two of them are at university and the youngest is 15. I used to be a dog sitter, an airline hostess and a secretary but now I spend lots of time as storyteller (costumes and strange voices and all) and my most frustrating of jobs: a writer. I write in my basement and I love children, animals and travelling. Teaching children how to read is a parental necessity.”
Working Title: Elephant And Dolphin Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 3-7) The Pitch: Elephant and Dolphin meet every morning by the sea. But Elephant lives on the land and Dolphin lives in the ocean. Elephant eats grass while Dolphin eats fish. Elephant trumpets and Dolphin clicks. How can these two play together with the differences they have between them? Elephant and Dolphin find out how friendship overcomes everything.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Rita improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read Itor on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above. There are openings in August, so you have time to polish 🙂 for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Rita is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! And I am going to try very hard to catch up with everything I missed in the last two days! 🙂 Have a great day, everyone!
Right this very second, while you guys are sipping your coffee, dunking your donuts, and/or eating your Wheaties, I am racing driving sedately along the road to Boston to look at colleges! Very exciting 🙂
No doubt my GPS and I will bicker incessantly. We have a love/hate relationship. (She needs a name, by the way, my GPS. My husband’s GPS is named Edna, so that’s taken. All other suggestions will be entertained :))
The idea of navigating traffic in an unfamiliar city fills me with terror, but hopefully we’ll muddle through without causing any major incidents 🙂 I hope while we’re in Boston I’ll get to see Jack, Kack, Lack, Mack, Nack, Oack, Pack and Quack (and I hope you all know to whom I am referring! :))
Many of you missed my earliest posts when I still had the dogmobile – my 2002 Toyota Sienna which I totally loved but which, at 10 years old with over 200,000 miles and A LOT of wear and tear, had to be replaced in October. So now we drive in style with Princess Blue Kitty who is a Subaru Outback – so sporty 🙂 She is called Princess because she’s so beautiful, and Blue because she’s so blue – indigo blue pearl is her official color – and Kitty because she purrs like a very large cat 🙂 I’m just telling you this so you’ll recognize me should I happen to pass you on the way 🙂
Alrighty then. I’m driving, you’re reading Straight From The Editor followed by Oh Susanna 🙂
You will recall that the May Pitch Pick was won by Elizabeth with her pitch for Magnificent. Here, once again, is the pitch:
Working Title: Magnificent
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: When the synchronized swimming Savanna Belles lose their watering hole to drought, the troop of elephant calves decide ballet is the perfect way to make them feel magnificent once again. Facing the challenges of trunk-tickling ants, loss of weightlessness, and the scarcity of tutus, can the girls tame the doubtful roars, hisses and cackles of the their wild friends, proving that they really can be magnificent ballerinas? Follow the tutued journey of these silly mammals as they sashay, leap and plié their way into even the wildest of hearts.
And here are Erin’s comments:
This is very cute. My only suggestion is to trim it a bit and make it simpler.
Here’s what I would do to make it more to the point.
When the synchronized swimming Savanna Belles lose their watering hole to drought, the troop of elephant calves decide ballet is the perfect way to make them feel magnificent once again. Facing the challenges of trunk-tickling ants, the scarcity of tutus, and gravity, can the girls tame the doubtful roars, hisses, and cackles of their wild friends? Follow thetutued journey of these silly mammals as they sashay, leap, and plié their way into even the wildest of hearts.
Very helpful, no? Also proof that Elizabeth did a good job and has a good idea 🙂
Now then, onto today’s Oh Susanna question.
Pam asks the following:
As a teacher, I love reading books with lots of descriptive language and low frequency words. This is important when I’m doing a lesson to expand vocabulary with words that 3s & 4s don’t hear every day. But as a writer, how can I know if I’m writing a developmentally appropriate book?
This is a good question, Pam.
One of the difficult things about writing picture books is that you’re writing for two audiences – both your child listener and your adult reader – something that is true of no other genre.
But this is also one of the best things about writing picture books. You’re not depending solely on a child’s existing vocabulary or knowledge of the world – there is an adult reader to explain and clarify.
In addition, if done well, the illustrations can really help with understanding.
This puts you, as a writer, in the wonderful position of being able to expand a child’s world.
That said, when you’re writing for the under-eights, you’re not going to write, “Perhaps the sentiments contained in the following pages, are not yet sufficiently fashionable to procure them general favour; a long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defence of custom.” (from Common Sense by Thomas Paine) in a child’s picture book 🙂
Developmental appropriateness is a combination of concept, sentence length, and vocabulary.
Your concept must be one a child can relate to – getting a new sibling, wanting her own room, fighting with a best friend, being afraid of thunderstorms, wishing his first tooth would fall out, losing a pet. Or, if you choose something a little more beyond their range of experience, like living under the sea (as in Rainbow Fish or The Pout-Pout Fish), it still works if you connect with their emotional experience (not wanting to share, feeling sulky). Concepts like violence or adultery would obviously not be developmentally appropriate! 🙂
While your sentences should vary somewhat in terms of length and structure, for the most part they should be short enough for the child to understand easily and for the adult to read aloud without gasping for air 🙂
As far as vocabulary, you have a unique opportunity to introduce new words. As long as there aren’t too many unfamiliar words and as long as they fit neatly into the context and are explained by the situation and illustrations (at least to some degree), you can count on your adult reader to supply any remaining clarification necessary. For example, in Can’t Sleep Without Sheep, I used the word “chaos.” This is a word that many children don’t know. But it’s clear from the story that things are getting way out of hand, and one look at the picture shows animals stampeding, wood splintering and flying, clouds of dust, etc… which clearly indicates an utter lack of order and organization. Most kids get it. But when I’m reading, I usually ask them if they know what chaos means. If they say no, I ask if they can guess from the story and pictures. If they still can’t, then I explain it. Any child who didn’t know the word has now been exposed to it.
As I said, you don’t want too many unfamiliar words in one picture book. A handful is okay. After that it’s possible that you’re writing at too high a level to be comfortable for this age. But I am firmly of the opinion that as a writer you should not talk down to children, and that you should introduce appropriate new vocabulary. As you mentioned, it is an opportunity for learning.
I hope that answers your question, at least partially! If not, please ask for clarification in the comments! And I also hope that all our talented readers who have knowledge and experience in this area will chime in with their thoughts.
Have a great day, everyone, and please forgive me if I am a bad commenter today. I will try my best to catch up when I get home. I will be reading, probably at the end of the day, but I cannot for the life of me figure out how to comment off my phone and besides those letters are so tiny! 🙂
We interrupt our regularly scheduled program for an important service announcement from our sponsor:
For anyone who might not have read Monday’s post, this is our second to last week of Perfect Picture Books before summer. PPBF will go on hiatus from (and including) June 22 – August 31. After June 15, the next PPBF date will be Friday September 7. I apologize to anyone whose style this cramps, but I just can’t be sure of being able to keep up over the summer. The updating is very time consuming and there have been glitches lately which means work has to be redone, and I am going to be crazy busy for the next 12 weeks. Plus, a lot of you are going to be busy and traveling and etc. too. So we can all take a break for the summer – read and gather up lots of great picture books for the fall. In the meantime, there will be fun and games going on around here on Fridays to keep you from missing PPBF too much – Summer Short & Sweets! – quick writing fun served with fresh lemonade and cookies 🙂
We now return you to the program already in progress 🙂
Apparently all I can think about this week is baby deer 🙂
So in about 14 seconds you’ll understand why I chose this week’s Perfect Picture Book 🙂
Mowing Written By: Jessie Haas Illustrated By: Jos. A. Smith Greenwillow Books, 1994, Fiction Suitable For: ages 4-8
Themes/Topics: farms, grandparents, generations, modernization, respect for wildlife, vehicles
Opening: “Early in the morning Gramp and Nora go to the field to mow. They hear the cry of the bobolink, the swish of the tall grass, the thud of the horses’ hooves. At the edge of the field Gramp lowers the cutter bar. “Hop off, Nora,” he says. “You’ll be safer on the ground.” Gramp speaks softly to the horses. “Giddap!” They walk, and the mowing machine begins to clatter.”
Brief Synopsis: Just as morning is peeking over the horizon, Gramp and Nora head out to mow the hay. Gramp drives an old-fashioned sickle bar mower with Nora in his lap holding the reins. When they reach the field, it’s Nora’s job to hop down and keep an eye out for any little animal that might be injured by the horses or the cutter blades. What does she see? (I’m betting you can guess one thing she sees! :)) When the mowing is done, two tall islands of grass still stand. Gramp says some would call that a bad job of mowing, but he and Nora know better. They know they have taken care to leave the animals safe and protected.
Why I Like This Book: This is the kind of sweet, quiet book that I absolutely love. My kids loved it too, and we read it over and over and over. The language is gentle, the story is simple with that nostalgic feel of hearkening back to a different time, and the message of caring for all the creatures who share our world is lovely. On top of that, the art is just beautiful, particularly the way the artist captured the changing light, from dawn through late afternoon, and the different perspectives he uses. It’s a wonderful book for nap time, bedtime, or anytime kids need to unwind.
Before we all head off for the weekend, I have a couple other things to say (because I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t, right? :))
First, I know none of you were able to sleep last night, wondering who the winner of the coveted May Pitch Contest would be.
And I’m going to tell you just as soon as I finish singing 99 Bottles of Pop On The Wall (because this is a kid-friendly blog where we would never think of drinking anything stronger than soda pop :))
“OOOHHHH…….!!!!! 99 bottles of pop on the wall, 99 bottles of pop. You take one down and pass it around, 98 bottles of pop on the wall. 98 bottles of pop on the wall, 98 bottles of pop….”
Everyone! Join in! Can you hear me on all seven continents???
OK, OK, enough of that. Would you guys quit fooling around? We have important business here. I’m trying to tell you, if you would stop caterwauling, that the winner of the May Pitch Pick is………
ELIZABETH!!! with her pitch for MAGNIFICENT!!!
WOO-HOO! Well done! I must tell you, it was an exceptionally tight race! So congratulations to Elizabeth, and to everyone who bravely entered and hopefully learned a lot so they can now feel more confident about their pitches.
And NOW, just when you thought the prize giving was over for the day, it’s NOT!
As you know, I like to thank all the wonderful participants in PPBF for their hard work each month by randomly selecting a blogger to receive a prize! The winner for May is Laura R at I’ve Got A Book For That!!! Please email me, Laura, and let me know which you would like for your prize: *rummaging in my bag of goodies…* let’s see… your choice of Red Knit Cap Girl, Chicks Run Wild, a signed copy of Can’t Sleep Without Sheep, or a $15 Amazon Gift Card.
PPBF bloggers, please add your post specific link to the list below, and everyone have a great weekend!
IT’S WEDNESDAY!!! Grab a chocolate donut and a cup of coffee and pull up your chair 🙂
Here on Blueberry Hill, things have settled down a bit. The dogs and I are stepping out avec leashes so as to keep the local baby animal population safe,
and my brother is up and hobbling avec crutches… and trying to figure out if he can still run the NYC marathon in November 🙂 (No pictures of him – they might scare you :))
So now that the status quo has been restored, I have time to wonder about important things like whether I should get another bottle of apple shampoo when this one runs out or switch to strawberry for summer, and what’s the weirdest fortune you’ve ever gotten in a fortune cookie? I asked that on FB yesterday, because we had fortune cookies last Friday and my daughter’s friend got “When the opportunity comes, pick the first one from the right” which reminded me of the time (about 25 years ago :)) when my sister got one that said, “Better an egg today then a hen tomorrow”… but no one shared any, so now I think I’m the only one who reads and remembers my fortunes. Feel free to remedy that situation in the comments 🙂
But I digress…
Let’s get down to business, shall we? 🙂 It’s time for the May Pitch Pick. As always, we had great pitches and it’s going to be a tough choice, especially because there were five Wednesdays in May!
To refresh your memory, here they are:
#1 Darshana
Title: Jay’s Big Day Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8) Pitch: Jay’s super-sniffer dashes his dreams of becoming a Police Bird, but his special talent opens up another heroic opportunity.
#2 Rena
Working Title: Death Of Sleeping Beauty
Age/Genre: MG Fantasy
The Pitch: Alivia Fair stumbles upon a seemingly harmless book that is full of gruesome fairy tales. Now the book is missing and strange things begin to happen. She is cursed by a man with a blue beard and finds herself trapped inside an enchanted castle, in which she comes face-to-face with the legendary, Sleeping Beauty. Too bad Alivia is destined to kill her, but with a little help Alivia might be able to stop the DEATH OF SLEEPING BEAUTY.
#3 Jarm
Working Title: Waiting For An Idea
Age/Genre: PB (ages 6-11)
The Pitch: Jerry is waiting for an idea to come. He walks his dog, swings in his backyard, and even goes inside for milk and cookies. hoping to coax one into his head. But, alas, it’s not until he opens Aunt Polly’s gift that an idea… well… an avalanche of ideas, spill forth!
#4 Elizabeth
Working Title: Magnificent
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: When the synchronized swimming Savanna Belles lose their watering hole to drought, the troop of elephant calves decide ballet is the perfect way to make them feel magnificent once again. Facing the challenges of trunk-tickling ants, loss of weightlessness, and the scarcity of tutus, can the girls tame the doubtful roars, hisses and cackles of the their wild friends, proving that they really can be magnificent ballerinas? Follow the tutued journey of these silly mammals as they sashay, leap and plié their way into even the wildest of hearts.
#5 Tina
Working Title: Dewey Bookworm Takes The Stage
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: What if a bookworm doesn’t like books? Tree leaves taste better than book leaves. Dewey Bookworm wants to join the circus. Will other book-eating creatures change his mind?
So please vote for your favorite! The poll will be up from now until Thursday June 7 at 11:59 PM EDT. Then the winner’s pitch will go to editor Erin Molta for critique and comment!
And now that we’ve got that taken care of, it’s time for today’s pitch, which comes to us from the lovely Laura who says, “I’ve finally returned late in life to what I always wanted to do – write and illustrate for children (unemployment will do that to you). I am a former school principal, and a pastor’s wife, but my favorite occupation when not at the computer or drawing board is being a grandma to my four grandchildren. I’m enjoying all the wonderful encouragement from the professionals like Susanna and the 12×12 writing group, it makes it easy to dream that we can be published one day. Thanks for reading my pitch and for all your input.”You can visit her blog HERE.
Working Title: Uncle Larry
Age/Genre: PB
The Pitch: A true story about Uncle Larry, a special child/adult who grew up on a farm, trained and loved animals, liked to play and work, got into mischief, and taught us how to love someone a little different by loving everyone himself.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Laura improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read Itor on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above. There are openings in August, so you have time to polish 🙂 for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Laura is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!
Holy swiss cheese, Batman! You would not believe this weekend!
I could spin the whole story out, but that would be too long to post 🙂 Suffice to say, my brother fell off his bike in a race and shattered his femur, and Jemma is SERIOUSLY in the doghouse – she has taken BAD DOG to an unprecedented level!
My brother, thankfully, should be okay after some recovery time. He’s very fit and a very mind-over-matter type of guy. He’ll probably be back at work in 3 days 🙂 Jem will be forgiven eventually because she didn’t do permanent damage – though not for lack of trying. You won’t believe it after Friday’s Perfect Picture Book, but she actually caught a fawn. I’ve had dogs my whole adult life and that’s never happened before. I’ve never seen anything so little! – I thought it was a cat! – I didn’t know fawns started out so incredibly small! I made her drop it. You probably heard me shrieking at her in California, New Zealand, Canada, Australia, and Europe! And she didn’t hurt it – just scared it – she’s not that much bigger. But really. I was completely traumatized by the whole experience and if you think Jemma is going anywhere off a leash for a Very Long Time you are sorely mistaken!
So here I am, rattled and scattered, trying to write a coherent post. If I don’t pull it off, you’ll know why! 🙂
Onward!
Today’s Oh Susanna question relates back somewhat to this post (please scroll down past Cori) where I showed the before and after versions of Freight Train Trip. I mentioned that the editor had commented that the original version wasn’t dramatic enough, and Stacy wondered whether there was any kind of test for drama in a manuscript.
That is an interesting question.
First of all, how much drama is necessary in a manuscript is subjective. Some editors, (and some readers) like more, and some like less. In this day and age it seems that the general rule of thumb is that more is better, and yet there are still, sometimes, beautiful, quieter books published too.
How much drama is also dictated by age. If you’re writing board books, there may be enough drama in searching for baby’s belly button. For a YA novel the fate of the world as we know it might be at stake.
In addition, how you achieve drama is specific to the story. In some manuscripts there is dramatic tension brought on by the situation, as in Freight Train where the two trains are approaching each other on the same track and there’s going to be trouble if the switchman doesn’t look up from his newspaper. In other manuscripts, the drama comes from the emotional stakes for the main character, as in Not Yet, Rose where Rose isn’t sure if she wants a brother, a sister, or no baby at all because, although she doesn’t quite know how, she senses that her whole world is about to change.
I wish I could say that there was some kind of simple test for drama, but if there is, I don’t know it 🙂 The closest I can come might be this: something has to happen – something real, something important, preferably something that a young reader can relate to either on an excitement/adventure/adrenaline level as in the Freight Train example, or on an emotional “I know exactly how that feels!” level. I guess even better if you can manage both 🙂 This actually comes down more to your story problem or conflict. If you’ve got a good one, you’ll have drama.
I hope some of the very talented writers in our readership will chime in with their knowledge and advice on this subject!
Now, on to those announcements I mentioned Friday. I know you’ve been squirming in your seats with anticipation 🙂
Here’s the deal.
I’ve thought long and hard about this, and I still have mixed feelings, and if enough of you express extreme unhappiness I’ll try to rethink it, but I think I’m going to put Perfect Picture Books on hiatus from June 22 – August 31. I know summer is a time when lots of people have more time to read, but I’m hoping everyone can make use of the 700+ Picture Books that are already posted, and read and prepare a whole new bunch for the fall.
I have an EXTREMELY busy summer coming up (can you say college visiting? :)) and Perfect Picture Books is a huge time commitment. I already know there will be a lot of Fridays when I won’t be at my computer. And I seriously can’t bear the idea of coming back from somewhere and having 60 books to add to the list while simultaneously trying to vacuum up the dog hair that has collected in my absence 🙂 Taking a break will hopefully give me time to catch up with the ones that still have to go up (I had a glitch last week where a lot that were uploaded didn’t save/disappeared and I have to redo them all) and also hopefully give me and the lovely Darshana time to streamline it a bit so it’s easier to search and easier to update in the future. You may feel free to share you thoughts… I can take it 🙂
However, I certainly don’t want to leave us with nothing! So I have another hair-brained scheme in mind (and you know what happened last time… Phyllis went all over the world :))
Are you ready?
Instead of PPBFs, for the 8 weeks from July 5 – August 24 we will have Summer Short & Sweets!!! (Badge forthcoming from Loni after finals are over! :))
Summer Short & Sweets will post each Friday (in place of PPBF) with a fun writing prompt/challenge that you can do in 5 minutes or less. You will post your response here. Other people’s responses may inspire you and jumpstart your creativity! For each Short & Sweet prompt that you do, you will receive a point. Your points will add up, and at the end, there will be prizes available depending on how many points you’ve accumulated! We will culminate our summer of fun with a Summer or Back To School Writing Contest on August 31, and you may well be able to use some of the ideas you’ve generated during the series. For those of you in 12×12, Summer Shorts may help you stay on track! 🙂
I think it will be a fun way to keep the creativity flowing as we chase our kids around playgrounds, keep them out of poison ivy, slather them with sunscreen, take them camping, keep them out of trouble in the pool or ocean, tour the US on college visits, or go to work… whatever we happen to be doing 🙂 I really really hope you guys will think it’s fun too! (You’d probably better let me know in the comments in case I’m barking up the wrong tree!) But the fun part is, we’ll all be doing it together, and everything will be VERY SHORT – seriously, 5 minutes. Maybe less if you think faster than I do. Which would not be hard at this point. Since I have yet to attain my usual level of perkiness this morning after not enough sleep. How many times did I use the word “fun” in the last 2 paragraphs?
I think it’s time for more coffee!
Happy Monday Everyone 🙂 And please chime in with your thoughts about drama, PPBF, and Summer Shorts! 🙂
Last Saturday we had dinner with our daughter, son-in-law, and little granddaughter. On our way home through a lovely late May twilight, just before we turned into our road, we saw a doe grazing right at the edge of the tall meadow grass. The car startled her. She lifted her head from the grass and with one graceful leap disappeared into the sheltering trees. And oh! Right behind her out of that tall grass came the first little fawn we’ve seen this year! So tiny. So delicate. So earnestly intent on staying with his mama 🙂
So for today’s Perfect Picture Book, I had to share one of my favorites. I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I do!
Lost In The Woods: A Photographic Fantasy Written By & Photographed By: Carl R. Sams II & Jean Stoick Published By: Carl R. Sams II Photography, June, 2004, Reality Based Fiction
Opening: “The Spring frogs sing-singing with a thousand trilling voices were silenced by the rising sun. New life came into the woods before the sun touched the tops of the trees. He slept quietly in the tall grass on the north edge of the meadow where the trees start the forest.”
Brief Synopsis: The woodland creatures are worried that a newborn fawn might be lost. “Mama said to wait right here,” the fawn whispers. “She will come back.” But the other animals aren’t convinced and offer their advice and help. Does the doe come back? What do you think? 🙂
Links To Resources: The book itself is a resource. Page after page of gorgeous photographs of woodland creatures will introduce children to animals and birds they may never have seen, especially if they live in the city. The very last page of the book challenges readers to look back through the pictures and see if they can find a number of hidden animals. Activity pages, Lesson Plan. If you’re lucky enough to live in a rural area, go for a “deer drive” in the evening, cruising slowly along back roads, and see how many different animals and birds you can spot 🙂
Why I Like This Book: I love this story! It’s simple and sweet. On the first page where the fawn appears, he is a tangle of fragile limbs. His spotted fur helps him blend into the forest floor. By the last page, he has mastered those rascally legs and can be seen bounding through the meadow grass with such joy you can’t help but smile at his airs above the ground. But the best part is the photography. It’s breathtaking. Absolutely stunning! The fawn’s fur looks like you could reach out and touch it. You can see his eyelashes! And there are so many other animals pictured – chipmunk, goslings, a tree frog whose camouflage is amazing!, cardinal, red-winged blackbird, raccoon, and many others. I know I’m an animal lover (and therefore biased :)) but I think this book is exquisitely beautiful and one that anyone would enjoy!
I know you’ve all been anxiously waiting for the moment when I announce the winners of the Birthday Contest.
Thank you for your patience.
And I am definitely going to tell you just as soon as I recite The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer.
In Middle English.
(deep breath)
“Whan that Aprill with his shoures sote The droghte of Marche hath perced to the rote, And bathed every veyne in swich licour, Of which vertu engendered is the flour; Whan Zephirus eek with his swete breeth Inspired hath in every holt and heeth The tendre croppes…”
Sorry 🙂 I’m just fooling’ with you – can’t seem to help myself 🙂 But I won’t really put you through a recitation of all 900 billion stanzas (or however many there are – it seemed like at least 900 billion when we were in 9th grade) and besides, I can only remember about 16 lines of the General Prologue 🙂
So anyway. The Birthday Contest!
We had so many talented writers, and so many wonderful entries! It was incredibly hard, but we narrowed them down to 6:
#1 A Gift Of Love by Delores #2 A Present For A Pirate by Cathy #3 Not Another Birthday! by Erik #4 Birthday At The Beach by Carrie #5 Dan’s Birthday Plan by Stacy #6 The Biggest And The Best by Anthony
96 voters weighed in with their opinions and the winners are…
duhn-duhn-duhn-duhn!!!
Third Place: CATHY with A Present For A Pirate
Second Place: CARRIE with Birthday At The Beach
and last but not least….
First Place and Big Winner 🙂 ANTHONY with The Biggest And The Best!!!
Congratulations to all of you, and to all who entered! You were all superb and I think I speak for everyone when I say we thoroughly enjoyed all the entries and admire your hard work and bravery in entering! Thank you all!
Anthony, Carrie, and Cathy, please contact me using that handy Email Me button on the right or, if you prefer manual labor, by emailing to susanna [at] susannahill [dot] com. Anthony will get first choice of the prizes, Carrie will get second choice, and Cathy will get third.
First, the lovely Jen invited me to be part of her fabulous Let’s Ask series yesterday. If you haven’t had a chance, please pop over and visit her 🙂
Second, remember Randy’s Contest over at Author In Training, and also Delores is running a lovely Words Of June Contest which I meant to mention Wednesday, so do hop over and check them both out!
So now we can all recover from the excitement by making the Perfect Picture Book rounds 🙂 PPBF bloggers, please add your post-specific link to the list below.
Have a great weekend, everyone, and please tune in Monday for Oh Susanna and some exciting announcements 🙂
Grab your donut (or any member of the donut family that suits your fancy this morning – bagel (donut’s less exciting sister), cruller, danish, croissant, preferably chocolate, actually, I suppose even funnel cake qualifies, with all that lovely powdered sugar on top… wait… what was I saying?)
Oh yes. I want you to know that it may be a small miracle if this post actually appears. We are in the path of severe thunderstorms (which I would know even without the weather report and the exceedingly menacing dark sky and high winds because Jemma has glued her shaking little self to my side – poor Baby J!)…
this is Baby J when she’s not being scared by thunder – I wouldn’t want to show you her distress!
…which means that our internet, always temperamental, has become downright moody and is threatening to quit altogether.
So it will be like a little surprise to see if this post shows up or not.
Talk about living on the edge! 🙂 We laugh in the face of danger up here on Blueberry Hill! 🙂
Anyway, before we get to Would You Read It, I wanted to mention for all you contest junkies out there that Randy is having one over on his blog Author In Training. So hop on over and check it out!
Also, if you haven’t had a chance to vote for who you think should win the Birthday Contest, you still have until midnight! You can vote HERE. And it is quite a heated competition, so your vote could be a deciding factor!
Now then.
Today’s pitch comes to us from the amazing Tina. Here are a few words about her that I lifted off her blog (since apparently I forgot to ask her what she wanted me to say about her – oops! – :))
Tina M. Cho is a freelance writer for education and children’s stories and a former elementary teacher of eleven years. She wrote 16 books for Lakeshore Learning and 4 guided readers for Compass Media. Her nonfiction book for girls from Legacy Press will be out in 2013, and she’s working on another contracted book for girls with them. She has written stories for a private school’s reading curriculum, books reviews for theChristian Library Journal, educational activities foreducation.com,and stories for magazines and e-zines. She is the mom of two kids, a fourth grader and a first grader. She and her husband Jackey recently moved from Southern California to South Korea.
Here is her pitch:
(and BTW, Tina lives on the other side of the globe from many of us, and will be going to bed when the rest of us are getting up and reading this, so please be patient for her responses to your comments!)
Working Title: Dewey Bookworm Takes The Stage Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8) The Pitch: What if a bookworm doesn’t like books? Tree leaves taste better than book leaves. Dewey Bookworm wants to join the circus. Will other book-eating creatures change his mind?
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Tina improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read Itor on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above. There are openings in August, so you have time to polish 🙂 for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Tina is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!
Tune in Friday for Perfect Picture Books – I have such a perfect one for this week! you’re going to love it! – and for the announcement of the Birthday Contest winners!!! Ooh, the excitement! How will you ever wait for Friday?
I have hemmed and hawed, gone backwards and forwards and sideways, compared notes with my assistant judge, eaten some cookies, chosen, second-guessed, re-chosen, further consulted with my assistant judge (which may or may not have involved more cookies…), third-guessed, hemmed and hawed some more…
Would you just look at me this morning?!
Man this was tough! So many terrific entries! How to choose?
Well, I’ll tell you.
Criteria number one was tied between child-friendliness and creativity (since the contest was for a children’s story about a very creative or unique birthday.) Several entries ended up not being chosen because either the topic seemed more appealing to adults, or the writing felt a little too adult, and several others ended up not being chosen because they just didn’t feel quite unique enough. Criteria number two was quality of writing. A couple of entries had mistakes in basic grammar, word usage etc, and a couple others needed a bit more work on rhyme/rhythm/meter. Although there were MANY other entries we could have chosen for one reason or another, we tried to pick the ones that really did the best overall job with all three criteria.
So. Without further ado, here are the 6 finalists, listed by number and title only in case that helps you be objective 🙂
#1 A Gift Of Love
Kayla sat by her twin sister Kenya’s side and held her hand. It was their tenth birthday and the celebration was going to be very low key. Kenya couldn’t take too much excitement. She was very weak from the chemo treatments. Her head was covered with a soft, knitted hat because her glorious mane of red hair had fallen out. She was as pale as her hospital sheets.
Weak and sick as she was, Kenya was able to dredge up a fit of blazing anger directed at her sister. “What have you done? Why have you had your hair cut off?” she spluttered. She was simply furious. The twins crowning glory was their hair and they took care every day to style it identically. Kayla now had a short pixie style hair cut.
Kayla just smiled, offered no explanation, and simply handed her sister a gaily wrapped birthday gift. “Happy birthday Ken.” She said and slipped quietly out of her sisters hospital room.
Kenya, puzzled, opened her gift and then broke down in tears of joy and shame over having spoken to her twin so harshly.
When Kayla came back in the room Kenya was propped up in bed and her hairdo was the mirror image of her sisters. “Thank you.” She said softly. “This is the best birthday gift I have ever had or will likely ever have again. I love you.”
#2 A Present For A Pirate
Lundy the hound and Captain Saltsam
Were pirates aboard the vast ship Crusty Clam.
On Saltsam’s big birthday, he had one desire:
A colorful bird for his pirate attire.
Lundy decided to cast out their net
And catch Saltsam’s present, the best ever yet.
After sailing around, Lundy pulled in the haul:
Some driftwood, a buoy, a flattened beach ball.
Snared in the net lay a sopping sea bird,
“A parrot?” asked Lundy. “Now don’t be absurd!
I’m a puffin! Release me!” the cranky bird snapped.
“I’ve no place on a ship, and I won’t be bird-napped!”
“Hush up, pesky puffin! Behave and pipe down.
You’re a pirate’s bird now. Eat crackers and frown!
Happy birthday dear Captain!” said the gift-bearing hound,
“A bird for your shoulder! Here – wear him around!”
The bird thrashed his feet and swung with his beak,
He flapped his strong wings, smacking Sam on the cheek.
He wiggled and wobbled and shrieked in alarm,
Then lifting his tail, pooped down Saltsam’s arm.
“Yuck!” yelled the captain. “Get off me! Goodbye!”
The puffin leaned over and nipped Saltsam’s eye.
Lundy was crushed, gave a low mournful howl.
“I’m sorry I gave you that terrible fowl.”
“Oh well!” said the captain. “I don’t need a bird.
I can see now quite clearly my wish was absurd.
The present I want isn’t one we can catch.
With this nifty new boo-boo, I want an eye patch!”
#3 Not Another Birthday!
Billy hated his birthdays, every single one of them. The day was always a complete disaster. One time, on Billy’s seventh birthday, most of his party guests ended up in the emergency room! In fact, none of Billy’s friends will come to his parties anymore. Only Billy’s relatives show up because they have to.
Things usually start off pretty well. The guests arrive with smiles on their faces, carrying presents in colorful paper. There’s lots of ”Hi’s”, hugs and “How are you’s?” Everyone puts their party hats on. There’s pizza for dinner, and games like guess the wizard, and pin the drawbridge on the castle.
Then comes the cake. Billy’s dad carries it in. This year it has twelve candles on it, brightly lit with flames dancing in the air. Billy notices it is an ice cream cake, “UGH!” He says to himself. “Even WORSE!”
The cake is placed on the table in front of Billy; all the guests cower behind their chairs and under the table as they nervously sing “Happy Birthday to You” in hushed voices. As Billy listened to the song, getting ready to blow out the candles, he thought to himself, “This makes no sense for a fire-breathing dragon.”
#4 Birthday At The Beach
Mom hung up the phone just as Kara finished dinner.
“Grab your jacket,” Mom said, grinning. “We’re going to a birthday party.”
“Whose birthday? We don’t know anyone here,” said Kara. She searched for her jacket among the moving boxes that had arrived, like they had, only three days ago.
“It’s a surprise,” said Mom.
“Where’s the party?” asked Kara, climbing into the car.
“At the beach,” said Mom. “I told you it would be great to live near the beach.”
“But it’s almost dark!”
Mom smiled.
“Will there be cake?”
“Nope.”
A birthday party at the beach, in the dark, with no cake?
At the beach, a small crowd had gathered. Coming closer, Kara saw that the crowd surrounded a rope-marked path from the dunes toward the water. For a birthday party, it sure was quiet.
“Watch that patch of sand,” whispered Mom, pointing. Kara stared through the growing darkness. She thought she saw the sand shift. Then it shifted again, slowly, and then more rapidly. To Kara, it looked like a pot of water beginning to simmer. A small black head appeared, then another, then a flipper, and suddenly the sand boiled over with tiny creatures struggling toward the surface.
“Turtles!” Mom whispered, squeezing Kara’s hand. Dozens of baby sea turtles flip-flopped their way across the sand toward the waves. A woman with a clipboard counted them. The crowd remained still, but once in a while someone stooped to gently guide a wandering baby turtle back to the path.
They’re brave, Kara thought, watching the tiny creatures make their way into the vast ocean, a place they had never been and could know nothing about.
“Happy birthday,” Kara whispered, then smiled at Mom. “I think I’m going to like living near the beach,” she said.
#5 Dan’s Birthday Plan
Dan had to stop Christmas. It was the only way his birthday would be normal. Every year, he celebrated Christmas one day and on the next his birthday.
As Mom announced time for dinner, Dan jumped in.
“We can’t have Christmas. If we do, my birthday will be ruined.”
Dan knew the reason for the season, but his Christmas and birthday presents always had a part missing.
“Christmas always splits my birthday,” Dan said.
“It doesn’t,” Mom said. “That’s your special day. This is another one.”
“Why did I get arrows on Christmas Day and a bow on my birthday?” Dan asked.
“They were two separate gifts,” his sister Sue said.
“One year, I got multi-colored pencils for Christmas. I had nothing to write on until paper arrived on my birthday,” Dan said.
“You had to sharpen the pencils,” cousin Bobby said reaching for a roll.
“The leather baseball glove,” Dan said.
“What was wrong with that?” Dad asked.
“I couldn’t play catch until my birthday. That’s when you gave me a baseball.”
Grandma put her arms around Dan.
“We don’t need to cancel Christmas or your birthday. We’ll celebrate both with no missing parts — right Mom and Dad?”
His parents agreed and they all sat down to eat.
During the gift exchange, Dan tore the Christmas paper and opened the box to find one tennis shoes.
“Oops,” Mom said. She left and returned with a birthday package. Dan opened the box. He beamed holding the shoes. “A pair of shoes for Christmas!“
“Everything worked out,” Grandma said. “Now are you ready for your birthday?”
“Yes,” Dan said and noticed a jar of jelly in his stocking. “Who knows what I’ll get for my birthday.”
#6 The Biggest And The Best
Scott only wanted the biggest and best. For his fourth birthday, Scott’s parents rented a pony.
Scott asked, “No elephant?”
For his fifth birthday, his grandmother baked a five layer cake.
Scott said, “I wanted ten layers.”
For his sixth birthday, his brother bought him the all the Super-Robo-Thunder-Teamfigurines.
Scott asked, “Where’s the Super-Robo-Volcano–Lair play set?”
So Scott figured his seventh birthday was going to be just like all his other ones—just okay.
To his surprise, dad said, “We decided to get you something bigger and better than anything you have ever gotten!”
“What is it?”
Dad said, “You’ll find out tomorrow.”
Scott thought of all the big, best things he wanted. “They know I want an airplane, but where to put it?
“Maybe it will be my own personal movie theater.
“Maybe a submarine! I told my mom this week I wanted one!”
Scott was nearly unable to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be better than Christmas and 4th of July combined.
At the party, he passed on the games. He devoured dinner in two bites. Scott blew out the cake candles before the singing was over.
“Alright! Where are my presents?”
Dad gave him a card. “Open it, son. Congratulations.”
Inside was a certificate:
Scott,
A heavenly gift from The Star Registry Society.
Your Star’s Coordinates: GSC 4628:237
love,
Your family
“WHAT!?!”
“It’s something big,” said grandfather.
“The star we picked is twice as massive as the sun,” said mother.
“WHAT!?!”
“And you wanted the best,” said uncle.
“There’s not much better than something that spews fire and is billions of years old,” said aunt.
“But…
“I see you are speechless. So let me also show you your new telescope. It’s outside, ready to find your star,” said dad.
They went out to see the biggest and the best.
And I just have to say we had a particularly hard time finally laying aside Bailey Bear’s Birthday Band (by Laura), Happy Birthday Seahorse (by Wendy), Mouse Du Jour (by Penny), The Birthday Giving (by Sabrina), and No Brother For My Birthday (by Vivian).
But really, all the entries were terrific, there were things we really liked about all of them, and you all did such a fantastic job. You are all winners by virtue of the fact that you wrote stories that met the guidelines and entered the contest. They say 90% of success is showing up (or something like that :)) – well, you all showed up! And I know I speak for everyone when I say how much we all enjoyed your work!
And now, if you could all please vote for your favorite between now and 11:59 PM EDT Wednesday May 30 (I extended it a little because I want to make sure everyone has time to vote!) I will announce the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Place Winners on Friday after the Perfect Picture Book!
I really cannot wait to see how the voting shapes up!
There are few phrases that fill you with as much anticipation as those 4 little words! (Okay. “I made chocolate cake” is right up there too. Or, if you’re me, “time for Grey’s Anatomy” which is actually a little like “once upon a time” although my faith was badly shaken by the season finale… but I digress.)
When you hear once upon a time, you just know something good is coming! You settle in, get comfy, and eagerly await whatever comes next!
Well, I feel the same way about 4 other little words – Perfect Picture Book Friday! When I hear those words, I just know I’m about to read about a whole bunch of terrific books I can’t wait to get my hands on!
And the one I’m going to share with you today is all about that once upon a time…! 🙂
Aunt Isabel Tells A Good One Written & Illustrated By: Kate Duke Dutton Children’s Books, 1992, Fiction Suitable For: ages 3-8
Themes/Topics: creativity, storytelling, imagination, girl power
Opening: “‘Tell me a story,’ said Penelope one night after supper. ‘What kind of a story?’ asked Aunt Isabel. ‘A good story,’ said Penelope. ‘All right,’ said Aunt Isabel. ‘A good story is the hardest kind to tell, though. We must put it together carefully, with just the right ingredients…’“
Brief Synopsis: At Penelope’s request, Aunt Isabel makes up a story using all the necessary ingredients. A When, a Where, and a Who. Romance, a Problem, and Villains! But when beloved Prince Augustus is in danger from Odious Mole and Bad-Egg Bat, who will come to his rescue?
Links To Resources: probably the best thing you can do with this story is use it as a springboard for creativity, writing, and storytelling activities, one-on-one or in a group. Some online resources to enhance the fun are Scribblitt and Story Starters. And illustrating the stories (before or after) is always fun too!
Why I Like This Book: the story is fun and engaging, and the art is absolutely charming. But even better, it is actually a how-to manual for how to write a story! While Aunt Isabel is making up a story for Penelope, readers are learning how to make up their own stories. This applies to adults as well as kids 🙂 Whether you’re a child, a parent, a teacher, or a writer (or any combination thereof :)), I think you’ll enjoy this one!
Before we all head for the PPB list, I just want to thank the fabulous Natasha over at Writes By Moonlight for bestowing the Kreativ Blogger Award on me! As you all know, I am terrible at these awards, and as you can tell by how impressively brief I’m being today I’m unusually pressed for time, so I’m going to skip the questions and random facts and trying to pick other people to give the award to for now. But do please pop by and visit Natasha!
PPBF bloggers, please add your post-specific links below! I will be popping around reading when I can, and then spending as much of this holiday weekend as I can appropriate trying to choose finalists in the Birthday Contest!
Well, MY GOODNESS! Apparently I am a glutton for punishment!
Have you read the entries in the Birthday Contest? (If you haven’t, you should, They’re really amazing! So much creativity!)
But they’re all so good! And somehow my assistant judge and I have to choose finalists! We certainly have our work cut out for us. (Thank goodness we have a very large tray of donuts!)
The contest is now closed, but never fear. The finalists will be posted on Monday May 28 and I hope you will all come back and vote!
Meanwhile, we have Straight From The Editor, where everybody’s favorite editor, Erin Molta, comments on the winning pitch from last month.
You will recall that Rebecca won April’s Pitch Pick with her pitch for Broomstick Rodeo:
Working Title: Broomstick Rodeo
Age/Genre: Picture Book (4-7)
The Pitch: The Thistlegulch Sisters have thirteen trophies between them and they’re determined to win another. They practice for the rodeo until they’re chapped under their chaps and have calluses on their warts. But when a buckin’ broomstick charges towards their youngest sister, Myrna, they realize there are more important things in life than winning trophies.
Here are Erin’s comments, so that we can all learn!
This sounds like it could be very cute! But I think the pitch would work better if, rather than saying how hard they practiced, you mentioned what they neglected because they wanted to win so badly—like perhaps Myrna. That way it makes sense that suddenly they would care about Myrna.
Interesting. And encouraging, I think 🙂
Now then, I’m in the mood for some of those lovely cider donuts today. How about you?
Would you like one (or three?) Help yourselves! There’s coffee and tea, too.
Then get comfy for today’s pitch which comes to us from our very own Banana Peelin’ Elizabeth!
Elizabeth Stevens Omlor loves slipping on banana peels. She has at least one slip a day, physically or verbally. She loves writing for children, although she has recently discovered she is a delusional rhymer. When she isn’t writing for children, you can find her having a kitchen dance party with her husband and two young children or drinking a large glass of milk. She loves milk. Yum. Especially when it’s in chocolate. She blogs about all of this on Banana Peelin’: The Ups and Downs of Becoming a Children’s Writer.
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: Magnificent
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: When the synchronized swimming Savanna Belles lose their watering hole to drought, the troop of elephant calves decide ballet is the perfect way to make them feel magnificent once again. Facing the challenges of trunk-tickling ants, loss of weightlessness, and the scarcity of tutus, can the girls tame the doubtful roars, hisses and cackles of the their wild friends, proving that they really can be magnificent ballerinas? Follow the tutued journey of these silly mammals as they sashay, leap and plié their way into even the wildest of hearts.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Elizabeth improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read Itor on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above. There are openings in August, so you have time to polish 🙂 for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Elizabeth is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!
See you all on Friday for Perfect Picture Books (assuming I haven’t run off to Outer Mongolia to avoid having to pick finalists in the contest! :))
Susanna Leonard Hill 
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