Therefore I believe it is our duty to jump straight to Something Chocolate without a moment’s delay!
Today we’re going super healthy with vegan cookies. For those of you who may not know, vegan is a word that means “made out of air” because that is all that is left to make things out of when you take out wheat, eggs, milk, butter, and all the other usual ingredients involved in baking – hence, super healthy! 🙂
Mmmm! There’s nothing like confectioners sugar to melt on your tongue – like snow but sweeter 🙂
Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Sarah whose mother shared a special bedtime wish, and Sarah didn’t realize until she was older, that everyone’s bedtime wish wasn’t the same. While her vivid imagination prevents her from always getting a great night’s sleep, she also uses it to hear her mother send her off to sleep. Sarah is an active member of SCBWI, 12 x 12, and Storyteller Academy.
Working Title: Lilly’sGet A Great Night SleepBook: Trust Me! It Works!
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: Lilly had a hard time sleeping. Maybe it was all the TV, the lack of bedtime snacks, or her wild imagination, but she finally figured out the (sort-of) perfect pre-sleep routine. Now she wants YOU to get a great night sleep too! In her made-for-TV style, Lilly shares her seven step method including bedtime buddies and a just right way to say good night.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Sarah improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above. There are openings in February, so you have time to polish your pitch before putting it up for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta!
Sarah is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to my upcoming school visits! I need to put on my Santa hat and think up some fun things to do with DEAR SANTA and MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET! Feel free to suggest any ideas you have in the comments – I am always open to helpful suggestions!!! 🙂
I don’t know who has been monkeying with the time-space continuum (and I am sorry to say that is definite Naughty List behavior!!!), but somehow we’ve gotten into THIS week when I need us to still be in LAST week.
I’m going to have to put things back to normal so all my posts and contests etc. work out right, because what we’ve got here is a snowball rolling out of control that’s going to bowl us right over. (We are not even going to discuss that I’m still working my way through prize distribution for the Halloweensie Contest which should have been finished 3 weeks ago! 🙂 )
Just hang on a sec while I hitch this sleigh flown by 8 tiny reindeer, with menorah running lights, a New Year’s blowout horn, and a Solstice candy holding Kikombe cha Umoja on the dash, to 21 gigawatts of electricity and take us. . .
. . . Back to Last Week!
Ah, that’s better!
Lucky I’m good at such a variety of tasks, isn’t it? Not just anyone could have turned a fancy-schmancy variety holiday sleigh into a time machine and solved this knotty little problem!
No need to thank me. It’s the least I can do.
Now when this post goes up you’ll have more time to write your entries!
Because it’s time to put on your Elf Thinking Cap, fire up your writing implements, and write your way to fame and fortune in . . .
THE9THANNUALHOLIDAYCONTEST!!!
~forchildren’swriters~
The Contest: Write a children’s holiday story (children here defined as age 12 and under) about A Holiday TREAT!
Your treat can be any kind of treat – a delectable holiday food specialty – Grandma’s Sugar Cookie Reindeer, or the Brown Family Gingerbread House; an event or experience that is a treat – the town Holiday Parade, attending the Nutcracker Ballet, or getting to light a candle on the menorah; making a treat for someone else – baking peppermint crunch brownies for the residents of a local shelter, or doing something special for a favorite teacher or neighbor – sky’s the limit 🙂
Your story may be poetry or prose, silly or serious or sweet, religious or not, based on Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or whatever you celebrate, but is not to exceed 250 words (I know! So much freedom after the Halloweensie Contest 🙂 ) (It can be as short as you like (the judges will be grateful 🙂 , you are welcome and encouraged to write shorter, but no more than 250! Title not included in word count.) The field is wide open! Have fun! The more creative the better! No illustration notes please. (And yes, if you feel compelled to submit more than one entry you may, just remember you’re competing against yourself!)
Post: Your entry should be posted on your blog between 12:01 AM EST Monday December 9 and Wednesday December 11 at 11:59 PM EST, and your post-specific link should be added to the link list on the official holiday contest post which will go up on my blog on Monday December 9 and remain up for your reading pleasure until I post the finalists. There will be no regular posts (Tuesday Debuts, Perfect Picture Book, or Would You Read It) for the duration of the contest so the links will stay up for everyone to visit and enjoy. If you would like to enter but don’t have a blog you are welcome to paste your entry in the comment section of my December 9th post when it goes up. If you have trouble commenting, you can email me. (We’ll go over this part in more detail on the December 9th post! 🙂 )
The Judging: My lovely assistants and I will narrow down the entrants to approximately 10 finalists (depending on the number of entries – if we get a lower turnout we’ll post fewer finalists, a higher turnout possibly one or two more.) In the interest of finishing up the contest in a timely fashion so everyone can go about their holidays, we will do our best to post the finalists here by Monday December 16 for you to vote on for a winner. The vote will be closed on Wednesday December 18 at 5 PM EST. Whoever gets the most votes will be first and so on down to tenth place (or wherever we place to), and the winners will be announced on Thursday December 19.
Judging criteria will be as follows:
1. Kid-appeal! – These stories are intended for a young audience (ages 12 and under), so we’re looking for stories that children will enjoy and relate to.
2. Holiday Treat! – the rules state a Holiday Treat story, so it must be crystal clear that the story is about a treat of some kind that is specific to Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or whatever you celebrate. The story must center on the treat – the treat must not be just an offhand mention/reference in a story about something else.
3. Quality of story – entries must tell a story, including a main character of some kind and a true story arc even if it’s tiny 🙂 Entries must not be merely descriptions or mood pieces.
4. Quality of Writing: check your spelling, grammar, punctuation etc. If you’re going to rhyme, give us your best 🙂 Overall writing quality and use of language are also important.
5. Originality and creativity – because that is often what sets one story above another.
The Prizes!: The prize list is not quite complete. . . But I wanted to get the guidelines up so you guys would have as much time as possible to work on your stories! Stay tuned for an updated list at some point 🙂
Picture Book Manuscript Critique from Children’s Literary AgentMelissa Richeson of Apokedak Literary!!! Melissa will read and give a written critique of your picture book manuscript plus a 10 minute phone call to talk!!!
MG/YA First 1500 Words Critique from Children’s Literary AgentMelissa Richeson of Apokedak Literary!!! Melissa will read and give a written critique of the first 1500 words of your MG or YA manuscript!!!
Literary Agent Melissa Richeson
Melissa is currently looking to build her client list and is focusing on children’s book authors—picture books through young adult. She’s drawn to witty wording and whimsical design for picture books, humor and quick pacing for chapter books, charming mysteries or magic in middle grade, and fresh, character-driven stories in young adult. She’s not the best fit for horror, high fantasy, or graphic violence of any kind.
Please join me in thanking these very generous authors and other writing professionals for contributing their books and writing expertise as prizes by visiting their websites and blogs, considering their books and services for holiday or other gift purchases, rating and/or reviewing their books on GoodReads, Amazone, B&N, or anywhere else if you like them, and supporting them in any other way you can dream up! 🙂
So there you have it! Fire up those brain cells! Grab a cup of hot chocolate, plonk your tiny hiney into a comfy chair, and get to writing your potentially prize-winning Holiday Treat story!!! You have 10 full days! (Sorry it isn’t more – blame it on the joker who tinkered with the space-time continuum 🙂 – but look at the bright side – deadlines are great for creativity and productivity! Your house doesn’t need to be cleaned this week, your children can eat raisin bran for dinner for a few days, and let’s be honest – no one’s concentrating on getting homework done or practicing their trombone at this time of year anyway, so you’ll have plenty of time to write! 🙂 )
On your mark…
…get set…
…GO!
I am SO looking forward to getting to read all your stories!!!
And tomorrow is Thanksgiving, which means (technically) I should be vacuuming.
Rating household chores on a scale of 1 to 5, where
1 = “I am filled with joy at the prospect of making my little home sparkle no matter what the task at hand, 🎶tra-la🎶”
and
5 = “GAH!!! why is this MY job?!”,
cleaning the bathrooms comes in at 963 (“What kind of animals LIVE in this house?! and seriously who scrubs tile grout with a toothbrush?!”
but vacuuming, due to a recent moment of sheer genius, comes in at a mere 37 (“Hmmm…. maybe I can teach the dogs to vacuum up their own hair!”)
Since I haven’t taught them to do it yet, though, and they’re currently exceedingly busy with other more important jobs
telling secrets on the stair landing. . . and catching up on their beauty sleep. . .
it looks like I’m on my own for now so I’d better stop lollygagging about and get to it!
So!
Down to business!
I’m happy to announce that the winner of the October Pitch Pick is Sri with her ER/PB pitch for Mighty Little Nikita! Congratulations, Sri! Your pitch is on its way to editor Erin Molta for her comments. I’m sure you will hear from her at her earliest convenience!
And congratulations to our other fabulous pitchers as well! Since it’s Thanksgiving, here is a virtual chocolate turkey for each of you 🙂
And while we’re on the subject of chocolate, how about a little Something Chocolate for everyone? I’m thinking it’s a perfect day for Thanksgiving Pecan Pie Brownies!
And I know I don’t need to tell you how healthy they are! Everyone knows that pecans are an excellent source of fiber and antioxidants and that brownies are an excellent source of. . . brownies 🙂
Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Megan who says, “I am a former early education teacher, marketing manager, and photographer. I am also a mom of two, Art Literacy volunteer, library junky, and bookstore crawler. Living in my children’s world provides constant inspiration. And now that both of my children are in school full-time, I am lucky enough to be able to pursue my dream of writing.”
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: Wired To Worry
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: Every day new Bitty Bots arrive on doorsteps in smiling boxes ready to lead perfectly programmed lives. But what happens when two Caring Bots notice an extra worry port on their new Bitty Bot? Returns are not allowed. The instruction manual is no help. And all Bitty Bot’s clicking, shaking, and leaking is driving them mad. Is Bitty Bot’s attempt to mail himself back the solution or the jolt they all need to manage their feelings?
Megan also shared the inspiration for her story: Inspiration: My daughter struggled with some significant anxiety as a young child. When a local Portland, Oregon artist (Gary Hirsch) visited her elementary school to share his Botjoy Project, I knew I wanted to write a story about robots and feelings. What better way to explore the overwhelming power of feelings than with something not meant to have any at all?
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Megan improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above. There are openings in February, so you have time to polish your pitch before putting it up for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta!
Megan is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to when my dogs learn how to vacuum! That is going to be a banner day, let me tell you! 🙂
Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! 🙂
And a happy, healthy, love and family-filled Thanksgiving to all those who will be celebrating. I hope you all have much to be thankful for. ❤
So lovely of you to drop by to visit on a Thursday when I don’t usually post!
Latte?
You must have heard about my irresistible new offering and stampeded over to avail yourself of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!
Yes! The hype is all true!
Today, you can broaden your horizons with
for the low, low price of $0!!!
Learn how to:
start ten tasks at once. . . without the burden of actually finishing any of them!
work for 10 minutes and get distracted with online holiday shopping!
realize you’ve been online shopping for one hour and 73 minutes and remind yourself sternly that you’re supposed to be working!
check all your social media accounts, work for 10 minutes, then sharpen your mental skills with a rigorous round of Sporcle! (Can you name the 10 US State Capitals you can’t fly to?)
travel to another continent in the middle of hosting a writing contest!
fall asleep on your computer and get keyboard checkers on your cheek!
work for 10 minutes and decide to make tiramisu!
. . . and so much more!
What is that?
You DIDN’T come to absorb my freely-given wisdom on productivity when I have clearly taken it to new heights? (I did say it was unprecedented. . . 😊)
Fine.
I will do my best not to take it personally that you doubt my fitness as a model of organization, efficiency, and productivity just because the Halloweensie Winners haven’t been posted yet, and we’ll move on to how I can help you with choosing the right burlap sack for any social occasion which must be why you’re here if you don’t want to improve your productivity.
Wait, what?
You’re here because you want to know who won Halloweensie?
Well why didn’t you just say so?!
Because it just so happens that I know! 😊
As you are all aware by now, we had an amazing turnout for Halloweensie 2019 – 324!!! entries! Golly gee willikers!!!
I was thrilled beyond measure to see so many wonderful stories and meet so many new writers! And I don’t know about you guys, but for me Halloween wouldn’t be Halloween without Halloweensie! What’s better than a candy-filled dark and spooky night? A candy-filled dark and spooky night with 324 fabulous stories to read! 😊
With large entry numbers come hard choices, though. My assistant judges and I worked hard to winnow the total down to a manageable number of finalists that we felt were truly all-around deserving of that distinction, and those were the ones we presented to you for your vote.
There were, however, many other entries that were outstanding in certain areas even though they might not have qualified all-around for one reason or another (one reason being that, at a certain point, we just had to stop adding finalists to the list! :))
So my assistant judges and I would like to award recognition and a small prize to the following authors for the following merits:
1. For Honorable Mention In The Competition As A Whole: (all-around well-written stories we loved that just missed the finals for one small reason or another!)
Lindsay Leslie for The Scurry Treat (well written, great use of language, great ending!)
Cassy Ciarq for Trick Or Treat (well written, great job evoking the delicious fear and excitement of a child trick-or-treating in the dark!)
Marta Magellan for Scary Things (well written, great job showing the spookiness of Halloween and the back-to-normal morning after – good kid appeal)
Linda Hofke for What Witch Whips Up (so cleverly written with the body parts subtly woven in to lead up to the ending of “body lotion”!)
David McMullin for Billy And Buddy’s Epic Halloween (fun and kid-friendly, very believably “kid” and sibling!)
Tracy Curran for My Mummy’s A Witch (fun and kid-friendly with a great twist ending!)
Mary Vander Plas for Some Arachnid (well written fun story – great twist on Charlotte’s Web!)
Chelsea Tornetto for Booty And A Beat (clever, fun to read aloud, irresistible rhythm)
Roo Parkin for The Road To Grimly Gore (well written, great use of language, fun ending!)
Pat Finnegan forSave-This-Night (a kid-friendly witchy change-of-attitude story)
2. For Best Endings: (not already in the finals)
Stephanie Williams for The Contest
Lauri Meyers for Haunted Halloween Hop
Lauren Neil for Witch 101
Shelley Kinder for Fishy Witchy
Sue Lancaster for The Halloween Hop
3. For Great Use of Language: (not already in the finals)
Sue Heavenrich for Spider Parade
Jenna Waldman for All Hallows Poetry Reading
Sarah Meade for The Goblin And The Girl
Deborah Boerema for Monster-Matopoeia
4. For Spookiest/Creepy Entry: (not already in the finals)
Christina Dendy for The Bone House
Unidentified author for Matilda’s Treat
Paul Kurtz for Cobwebs
Mary C. Thorpe for What Had They Found?
Vashti Verbowski for Cecil The Beetle (And The Web Of Wishes)
5. For Funniest Entry: (not already in the finals)
Kael Tudor for Hubble, Bubble, Toil And . . . Muddle?
Greg Bray for The Ultimate Spider-Man Costume
Susan Summers for The Witch’s Dilemma
6. For Sweetest Entry: (not already in the finals)
Melissa Miles for Just One Child
Lisa Zaccaria for Halloween Surprise
7. For Unique Character: (not already in the finals)
Cathy Murphy for A Cure For Cobweb (Spider turns into a Unitoad – like a unicorn but a toad!)
Lori Himmel for The Very Haunted House (MC is the house)
8. For Great Read For Younger Readers: (not already in the finals)
Brenda Whitehead for Halloween Countdown
Avana Lily for The Little Witch Helps Out
JoAnn DiVerdi for Boo-Boo! A Little Ghost Story
9. For Creative Format:
Jenna Waldman for Ghost Store (written like a commercial)
Michelle Henrie for Halloween Treat (written as a crossword puzzle)
10. For Good Kid Voice:
Lindsey Hobson for Little Brother
11. For Good Depiction of Siblings: (not already in the finals)
Tara Cerven for A Silken Surprise
12: For Cleverness: (not already in the finals)
Mary Rudzinski for Halloween Forever
Erin Kerger Duffett for Three Cauldrons Full
13. For Contestants Who Entered Multiple Strong Entries:
Sarah Meade
Paul Kurtz
Donna Kurtz
Michelle Kennedy
14. Last But Not Least A Very Special Mention:
Joyce Schriebman for The Good Witch – a tribute to our sweet friend, Robyn Campbell, who always went out of her way to help others and whom we miss dearly.
Congratulations to all of you for fantastic elements of your stories! You may all email me at susanna[at]susannahill[dot]com subject line Prize Winner to collect your prize, which is a $5 Amazon Email Gift Certificate (which you may spend on one of the many Kindle choices listed in previous contests here, or add to your Amazon bucks for a gift for yourself or someone else, or whatever else you might choose to do!) as well as a beautiful certificate of achievement that you may display on your blog or print out and frame or turn into a flag to carry with you everywhere and wave out the window of your car 😊
A word about the prizes before I announce the winners.
We have 12 fabulous prizes, generously donated by authors and various professionals in the writing field. My policy is to let the first place winner have first pick of all the prizes, the second place winner have second choice, etc. That way hopefully nobody gets something they already have, and hopefully everyone gets something that’s valuable to them. All prizes are listed at the bottom of this post for your convenience in perusing the goodies 🙂
Now.
Finally!
Onto the moment you’ve all been waiting for. . .
. . . the reason you got out of bed this morning. . .
. . . in spite of shadows under your bleary eyes. . .
. . . and the candy corn that is stuck in your hair!!!
. . . THE WINNERS OF THE 2019 HALLOWEENSIE CONTEST as chosen by you, our esteemed voters!!!!!
In First Place, winner of the whole entire contest and top of the heap who gets first choice of all the prizes…
Jocelyn Watkinson
for
Vampire Stains
Congratulations, Jocelyn, on a fabulously written, entertaining entry that was all around well done and clearly very popular with judges and voters alike!!!
In Second Place,
Keatley Eastman
for
Sneaky Sister
Congratulations, Keatley, on a cute, well written, kid friendly entry with a great ending! (and for coming in 2nd two years in a row!) You get first choice of the prizes that are left after Jocelyn chooses!
In Third Place,
Paul Kurtz for A Halloween Visit
Congratulations, Paul, on a well written, clever entry that masterfully combined elements of Halloween and Christmas into Spider Claws! You get first choice of the prizes that are left after Jocelyn and Keatley choose!
In Fourth Place,
Leslie Goodman
for The Nickname Cure
Congratulations, Leslie, on a fun story with funny twist of an ending! You get to pick a prize after Jocelyn, Keatley, and Paul!
In Fifth Place,
Katrina Swenson for Itchy Witchy Underwear
Congratulations, Katrina, on your delightfully well written entry that made us laugh out loud! You get to pick your prize after Jocelyn, Keatley, Paul, and Leslie!
In Sixth Place,
Maryna Doughty
for
Ghost’s Pest Problem
Congratulations, Maryna, on your clever, fun and creative entry! You get to pick your prize after Jocelyn, Keatley, Paul, Leslie, and Katrina!
In Seventh Place,
Mary Ann Cortez
for Let’s Go Scarecrow
Congratulations, Mary Ann, on your fun, Going On A Bear Hunt-esque twist on Halloween! You get to pick your prize after Maryna!
In Eighth Place,
Colleen Murphy for Broom Or Bust
Congratulations, Colleen, for a beautifully written, fun, entertaining kid-friendly entry! You get to pick your prize after Mary Ann!
In Ninth Place,
Jill Lambert
for Tacky Trick
Congratulations, Jill! What is a spider to do if his silk has no stick’em?! 😊 You get to pick a prize after Colleen…!
In Tenth Place
Debbie Day
for Gloona The Grinchy Witch
Congratulations, Debbie, on making us laugh at your Grinchy Witch! You get to prize pick after Jill.
In Eleventh Place
Sandy Perlic
for
Boo Quiet To Spook?
Congratulations, Sandy, we loved your timid little witch who was given a little boost by her giant sneeze 😊 You get to pick a prize after Debbie.
In Twelfth Place
Ingrid Boydston
for
Tricky Witch Test
Congratulations, Ingrid, on a fun story! Nothing like turning into a pumpkin! 😊 You get to pick your prize after Sandy!
And, I don’t think I need to remind anyone that in addition to all these fabulous prizes, everyone mentioned on this page has bragging rights as having won or placed in the Pretty Much World Famous Halloweensie Contest! Not just anyone can say that 🙂
All the winners should email me at susanna[at]susannahill[dot]com with the subject heading Prize Winner so we can work out details for you to receive your prizes! If you choose a prize that requires snail mailing, PLEASE include your snail mail address so we don’t have to email back and forth too many times 🙂 If you would like a beautiful certificate to celebrate your accomplishment, you are most welcome to one!
Congratulations again to all our winners – it was a stiff competition!! – and congratulations to EVERYONE who wrote and entered a story in the contest. You all deserve a huge round of applause, a confetti parade, and a truckloads of leftover fun-sized chocolate. . . if there is any 😊
Thank you to everyone who helped make this contest SO MUCH FUN, whether by writing an entry, reading people’s stories, leaving comments for the authors, and/or voting in the finals, or by donating a prize! It’s because of all of you that this contest was such a success, so many, many thanks from the bottom of my heart!
And before we go, I will give you all advance warning so you can start planning a little time into your December schedule…
Assuming you guys are up for it – and you’d better let me know in the comments!!! – the 9th Annual Holiday Writing Contest will be coming up sometime in the neighborhood of December 7 so we can all fully enjoy it and still have time for last minute holiday things. I will do my best to post the rules well in advance (maybe the Saturday after Thanksgiving, good lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise! 🙂 ) so you all have time to work on your stories! But please let me know if you feel like it’s too much and you’d rather not do it!
Have a terrific Thursday everyone, and thanks again for making the Halloweensie Contest such a wonderful time for all! 🙂
The Prizes: SO AMAZING! What a generous community we have to donate so much awesomeness!!! 🙂
Go Directly To Go! Skip The Slushpile at Blue Whale Press and Get Your PB Manuscript Directly On The Editor’s Desk!!!
Submit your picture book manuscript directly to editor Alayne Christian for her consideration and critique. Helpful feedback is a certainty, publication could be a possibility!
Blue Whale Press is an SCBWI PAL publisher of children’s books that focuses on stories involving themes of friendship and/or personal challenge. Most often, stories are selected for publishing due to their inherent educational or moral value. But as a general rule, a good dose of humor or a tug at the heart doesn’t hurt their chances of being published either. While a few chapter books and a middle grade are on their list, their focus is picture books. As a boutique publisher who doesn’t mind taking risks, Blue Whale Press considers itself to be a launch pad for authors and illustrators hoping to establish themselves.
Hone Your Skills with the Lyrical Language Lab Rhyme & Meter Self Study Crash Course (11 Lessons) from accomplished writer and poet Renee LaTulippe
INTENSIVE RHYME AND METER CRASH COURSE
This option contains all the same lessons as Module 1 of Renee’s fully guided course, including all supplemental materials, downloads, and audio/video components. This is the option to choose if you need to build a strong foundation in the mechanics of rhyming picture books and poetry. The major focus is on the four main types of meter and how to use mixed and varied meter. Other topics include rhythm, cadence, breath, scansion, rhyme, sound devices, figurative language, imagery, and diction.
.
You also have the opportunity to submit two of your assignments to Renee for feedback, and have email access to ask questions about the lessons as you complete them. Although lessons will arrive every other day, you are free to complete them at your own pace.
See the course description above for more information.
Rhyming Picture Book Manuscript Critique from Carrie Finison, author of DOZENS OF DOUGHNUTS and DON’T HUG DOUG, forthcoming from Putnam in August 2020 and Spring 2021.
Fiction OR Nonfiction Picture Book Manuscript Critique (non-rhyming please) from Darshana Khiani, author of HOW TO WEAR A SARI forthcoming from HMH/Versify, Spring 2021
Picture Book Manuscript Critique (non-rhyming please) from Gabi Snyder, author of TWO DOGS ON A TRIKE, forthcoming from Abrams Appleseed, May 2020 and LISTEN, forthcoming from S&S/Wiseman, Spring 2021
Please join me in thanking these very generous authors and other writing professionals for contributing their books and writing expertise as prizes by visiting their websites and blogs, considering their books and services for holiday or other gift purchases, rating and/or reviewing their books on GoodReads, Amazon, B&N or anywhere else if you like them, recommending them for school visits, or supporting them in any other way you can dream up 🙂
In fact, I’m not at all sure I’m actually in this week. I’s pretty sure I’m still in last week.
Certainly if you look at the pile of work on my desk that has yet to be done I should be in last week. . . there are many many things there that ought to be finished if it’s this week that most assuredly are not! (as anyone who is awaiting the results of the Halloweensie Contest can tell you! – SORRY!!!)
But I got to have a lovely visit with my son in sunny Brazil (where it is NOT snowing!😊) so with apologies to all of you for keeping you waiting on the things that should be finished and aren’t, I’m very glad I went!
Let’s just skip right ahead, shall we?
First, I’m happy to announce that the Winner of the September Pitch Pick is Kim with her pitch for P.I. Goat: The Case of the Missing Bone! Congratulations, Kim! Your pitch is on its way to editor Erin Molta for her thoughts, which I’m sure will be along at her earliest convenience!
Congratulations to our other pitchers as well! You all did a terrific job of putting together a pitch, bravely sharing it so you (and all of us!) could have the opportunity to evaluate and learn from it, revising your pitch based on the feedback you received, and hopefully ending up with a better, stronger pitch than you started with, even if you didn’t get the chance for Erin’s input. We are lucky to have such thoughtful, perceptive, dedicated and helpful readers to aid us in improving our pitches! Thank you all!
And now it’s on to the October Pitch Pick! (There will be no grass growing under anyone’s feet around here! 😊)
Please read through the revised pitches below and choose the one you think most deserving of a read and comments by editor Erin Molta, then vote for your choice in the poll below by Sunday November 24 at 9 PM Eastern.
#1 – Sri – Mighty Little Nikita (ER/PB 4-8)
Nikita’s friends call her “Little Nikita” because she is really small but Nikita does not like it a wee bit. When a huge dragonfly enters the class, it scares the jelly out of everyone, except Little Nikita. Nikita shows everyone just how brave she can be even when facing a scary insect, thus earning a new nickname that she is absolutely proud of.
#2 – Greg – Furrysaurus Rex (PB 4-8)
Amateur paleontologist Edwin spies a furry looking dinosaur roaming his neighborhood. He convinces his best friend Jennifer to help him hunt for the creature. They discover his brother in a T-Rex costume, but no dinosaur. Jennifer doubts Edwin saw a dinosaur. Edwin persists and ends up discovering something dinotastic.
#3 – Melissa – Mandy’s Magical Quest (PB 4-8)
Mandy, desperate to save her ailing grove of trees, seeks the help of the four elemental Goddesses. Led by her black crow, Bram, they journey to the far corners of the earth, battling the harsh environment. Mandy falters and is anxious to return home. If she does not complete the quest, the trees will not survive.
#4 – Natalie – The Unexpected Suitcase (MG Mystery 8-12)
When eleven-year-old Henry plummets into a dark abyss, inside a tattered suitcase, he’s unexpectedly transported to 1950s Central Park. His only route home is through the suitcase popup portal. During several journey’s, Henry grows by overcoming the fear of starting middle school and owning up about hiding the suitcase from grandma. But first, he needs to discover what’s hidden within the suitcase while helping his grandma clear out her house and keeping his secret safe.
We should probably rest after all that reading and voting. It’s very stressful having to choose between such great alternatives. Luckily I am here for you. And I am thinking that Oreo Cheesecake Chocolate Cake would be a very excellent antidote to our voting-induced stress 😊
Don’t you feel better? De-stressed and fully operational? Ready to tackle anything that comes along?
Fantastic! Because what’s coming along is today’s pitch which comes to us from Lu – author, former LD teacher, Santa maker, and collector of homeless artifacts.
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: Mary Janes
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: All 6 yr. old Bella wants is a pair of new shoes, not just any shoes, but red Mary Janes. On her Saturday shopping outing with her grandmother, she notices the shoes of others. There are jump-roping girls wearing Keds, ice cream eating girls in black and white saddle shoes, and well-heeled ladies at her uncle’s butcher shop. Bella’s dream comes true in an unexpected way.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Lu improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above. There are openings in February, so you have time to polish your pitch before putting it up for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta!
Lu is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to sharing the results of the Halloweensie Contest with you – hopefully tomorrow!
Hello, Everyone, and welcome to another exciting installment of Would You Read It Wednesday!
We’ve missed a couple weeks for Halloweensie, so it will be good to get back to our regularly scheduled programming!
First off, today (while you’re all warmed up from voting for Halloweensie winners) we have the September Pitch Pick.
Our pitchers, committed to making their pitches the best they can be, have reworked their original versions to reflect the helpful feedback you were all kind and thoughtful enough to provide. So here are the new, updated pitches for you to vote on:
#1 Erin – Airport Goat (PB 3-8)
Under the zooming planes is a herd of goats munching the lawn day after day, but one goat is tired of grass, grass, grass. He follows his nose to the land of concrete in search of exciting things to eat. The luggage is leathery. The sanitation truck is less appealing. But then he gets a whiff of something new. His search creates chaos and sets airport security on a chase, but deep inside the airport is the most delectable discovery: the food court. THE AIRPORT GOAT is a cross between humorous animal stories like DUCK ON A BIKE and airport transportation books like THE AIRPORT BOOK for kids ages 3-8.
#2 – Kim – P.I. Goat: The Case of the Missing Bone (PB ages 4-8)
P.I. Goat has just opened his private investigator office when Puddles, a puppy, hires him to find Paw-Paw’s bone. Elderly Paw-Paw thinks Goat is a pig, but Goat has a worse problem: he faints when startled! A cast of wacky animals helps Goat discover the surprising truth behind the Case of the Missing Bone and that being a P.I. is not for the faint of heart—KLUNK!
#3 – Marcia – Isaac’s Apple Tree (PB ages 4-8; Informational Fiction (includes Author’s Note)
I dropped that apple—the one that helped Isaac Newton discover gravity. I am Isaac’s Apple Tree, and I have a story for you—one that begins with that apple-drop and goes all the way to the International Space Station and back. That’s where my seeds (pips, people, pips!) floated in zero gravity, then came back to Earth where they grew into six beautiful saplings—my space children. At almost 400 years old, my amazing story spans centuries and continents—and space itself!
Once you’ve had a chance to read through and evaluate the three September pitches above, please vote for your favorite – the one you feel most deserves a read and comments from editor Erin Molta, and vote for it in the poll below by Sunday November 17 at 9PM Eastern.
Thank you!
Wow! Nothing like voting to work up an appetite! And you know what that means… 🙂 Time for Something Chocolate!
I think today would be a great day for Chocolate Blackout Cupcakes, but then again, is there ever a bad day for those? 🙂
Okay! Onward and upward! Today’s pitch comes to us from Lynne who says, “I’m an avid reader who is working to push through the fears of coming out of the writer’s closet! Growing up overseas in the 60s and 70s nurtured my love to escape into imaginary and other worlds with books. My daughter’s struggle with dyslexia in elementary school made me realize the importance of great children’s books to keep her engaging in her battle to overcome her reading disability and develop a love to read. She won:)”
Find her on the web at
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: Samantha’s Swimsuit
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 3-7)
The Pitch: Samantha is a girl who knows what she wants when it comes to fashion. When she was imagining the absolutely dreamy suit for summer swim lessons, Samantha forgot about one. Little. Detail. It would get wet. What if water ruins her perfect swimsuit?!? Now Samantha must decide if she is relegated to the lounge chairs (safely outside of the splash zone!) or if she takes a chance in the pool!
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Lynne improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above. There are openings in January, so you have time to polish your pitch before putting it up for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta! But no harm in reserving your spot. . . they tend to go like hotcakes!
Lynne is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to seeing this little guy . . .
. . . okay, full disclosure, he doesn’t look exactly like that anymore – more like this
but you know how moms are 🙂
Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! 🙂
Oh, and by the way! I will do my best to post the Halloweensie Winners ASAP, but I’m going to have to be doing it while getting myself to the airport and onto a plane, so I apologize in advance if it takes me some extra time! Have an extra Chocolate Blackout Cupcake while you’re waiting! 🙂
Woo hoo! Woo hoo!
Time for something new.
Woo hoo! Woo hoo!
Tuesday Debut!
How’s that for a theme song?
It doesn’t have a tune yet . . . but that’s just a minor detail 🙂
Here on Blueberry Hill the weather forecast is less than optimal. Rain, snow, ice and other cr** . . . er, precipitation threatens to make going outside something to avoid unless you have a very good reason to want to fall down your mudroom stairs and introduce your hindquarters to the driveway, so today’s debut picture book is perfect! It will carry us away to the island paradise of Hawai’i!
Ho’onani: Hula Warrior
written by Heather Gale
illustrated by Mika Song
Tundra Books
October 1, 2019
Nonfiction, Ages 4 – 9
An empowering celebration of identity, acceptance and Hawaiian culture based on the true story of a young girl in Hawai’i who dreams of leading the boys-only hula troupe at her school.
SUSANNA: Welcome, Heather! Thank you so much for joining us today! Where did the idea for this book come from?
HEATHER: This story came after watching the PBS documentary A Place in the Middle, but it took a while for me to consider it as even a possible picture book.
I had used the documentary to help wind down after a day of research for that next picture book idea. Yet while watching Ho’onani and Kumu Hina face their struggles I was transfixed, swept along with the story and the power of emotions it evoked. When Ho’onani turned to face her community, I held my breath as if I were amongst the awed silence of the crowd. And when Ho’onani opened her mouth to begin the chant usually reserved for males, I whooped it up, both proud and relieved she had pulled off her biggest challenge.
The next day I could not stop thinking about each character in the documentary.
I watched and re-watched A Place in the Middle, never getting tired of feeling those same emotions. When this happens, I think you have no choice but to write the story. It’s under your skin and won’t let go until you do.
SUSANNA: How long did it take you to write this book?
HEATHER: Initially I’d promised the producers, Dean Hamer and Joe Wilson, a no-commitment rough draft within 6 weeks. But it helped that by the time we’d met, I already knew where the story would start and where it should end. I’d never written and researched so hard in my life to meet that deadline, but it worked. They got their first draft and I got their green light to carry on.
After that the revisions took almost a year.
My best advice to anyone is to not start a story until you know those two key moments. They’ll keep you going when the writing process gets rough.
SUSANNA: Did you go through many revisions?
HEATHER: I must have gone through at least 150 revisions and this is the time to ask for help from your critique partners and writing buddies. Listen to their comments and suggestions and if more than one person is saying the same, you know you have to go back.
As you learn the mechanics behind a story, you’ll also discover your own revision process, and which ones are your favorites.
Mine are adding emotion and deleting.
I may already have one or two emotions in a draft, but there comes a point when the story needs a whole lot more. Thankfully, at this stage of the manuscript you’ll know your character inside and out, so this part is fun.
As I read scene by scene, I imagine my character’s face and gut reactions to the situation. I’ll jot them down and return for a more serious edit.
After emotions are added my next favorite is deleting.
Distilling a draft to 1000 special words is a challenge.
Every word matters.
Every sentence should feel unique.
Every paragraph has the potential to build a scene.
Like decluttering a room, there’s a sense of lightness with deleting which makes a story even better.
I start with spacing out the sentences. This gives me some working room (aka thinking or doodling space).
Then line by line, I’ll check the timing of events. I’ll ask myself does this follow and is it logical?
Then I check the sentence itself, looking at the structure.
Have you noticed sometimes when you split the sentence in half then swap their order it’s so much stronger? Or move one word to the end and you’ve got a WOW sentence.
Next, I look at each word in the sentence.
And here’s where my thesaurus is used to check each word conveys the best meaning I intended.
Perhaps there’s a better word with a deeper meaning. Or, the word is perfect, but in that sentence, it’s a tongue-twister.
And then I like to use words that surprise the reader and are easy or fun to say out loud.
If, after doing all this, the paragraph adds no story value, it qualifies for a total strike-through.
It’s hard to explain but when there’s a line through all that hard work, the story often pops through the noise and clutter.
SUSANNA: When did you know your manuscript was ready for submission?
HEATHER: I’m slowly learning when my manuscripts are almost ready for submission.
I always read my manuscript out loud to our two dogs (because my two kids are grown up now). This is an incredible way to discover those fancy words you found in thesaurus don’t quite work when placed together.
I’m lucky to have two work buddies, Molly and Cooper who are best friends. They love daily hikes in Toronto’s ravines, their daycare, and swimming beside me as I kayak.
I check off any sentences where my brain did a ‘huh?’ and question any gaps in the timing of events.
On another round I’ll hunt for emotions in the scenes. I want to walk in that person’s shoes, feel their frustrations and their achievements, get goosebumps and a lump in my throat.
Then, my best tool is the pitch.
Because my working pitches seem to always start off 4-6 sentences long, until I‘ve got one that’s whittled down to one or two sentences, I know the manuscript is not ready.
I tweak and hone that pitch every 3-4 revisions.
Once everything is as close as I can get it , I save my work in a folder, stash it away, put the timer on and wait two weeks.
And . . . tah-dah! This is when you’ll know if your story is ready to submit.
With fresh eyes I’ll read my story out loud, looking for all the same things as before. I want to laugh, to tear up, have the words swimming in front of me.
I want the story to unfold, unrushed yet not too wordy.
And when that happens there’s no way to describe the feeling except you know you’ve given your story the best possible chance.
Your manuscript is ready to face the big wide world.
I have two workspaces that inspire my writing process.
Here’s my view from the cottage:
SUSANNA: That is inspiring all right! But I’m not sure I’d get much work done with a view like that!!! 🙂 When and how did you submit?
HEATHER: I’d submitted this story to one agent while seeking representation and then to a publishing house through an earlier conference connection.
Both times Ho’onani: Hula Warrior was turned down but coming up was our annual Pack Your Imagination conference hosted by CANSCAIP in Toronto.
We have an opportunity to skip the line with Canadian publishing houses which is a fantastic opportunity. I decided to hold this manuscript back from further submissions because I had to know what was wrong with this story!
SUSANNA: When did you get “the call”? (Best moment ever! 🙂 )
HEATHER: I was the last person slated to meet Lynne Missen, the Publishing Director for Penguin Young Readers at the CANSCAIP conference. You can take being last as good news, bad news, or part of the lucky draw so as I sat and waited. I’ll admit, I was nervous.
And then it was my turn.
As I listened, waiting for the, ‘here’s why your story isn’t working,’ I struggled to understand why Lynne was smiling.
Lynne must have repeated it three or four times before her words and their meaning sank in – they loved my story!
We got to work right there, going through the manuscript, tweaking areas, discussing ideas and my 15-minute slot turned into the best 30 minutes I could’ve ever imagined . . . working on a story that my heart was so vested in.
SUSANNA: How did you celebrate signing your contract?
HEATHER: We popped a bottle of bubbles and had a barbeque with my hubby, kids and dogs.
SUSANNA: Was the contract what you expected in terms of advance, royalty percentage, publication timeline, author copies etc.?
HEATHER: The contract was just what I expected, an advance, followed by a percentage in royalties and for me, the best gift ever – 10 author copies! (I’m one of 6 kids so my siblings all got a dedicated and signed copy.)
SUSANNA: What can you tell us about the editorial process?
HEATHER: Samantha Swenson is such a gifted editor who, through some word tweaks made the story pop, and that’s when I saw the potential they’d seen all along.
SUSANNA: How about your experience of the illustration process?
HEATHER: I was so lucky with having Mika as my illustrator.
From the beginning I saw all her sketches, and my thoughts and ideas were sought out while any questions I had were explained. Mika captured each child in the documentary at the right moment while Kumu Hina looked the same yet different as she too experienced her emotions.
I had one illustration note in the story at the end and that was only because Ho’onani’s sister is not mentioned in the text.
Here’s what I wrote:
One person stood.
[illo: Kana smiles]
and here’s how that illustration turned out!
SUSANNA: Did you get to see advance reviews from Kirkus, SLJ, etc? What was that like?
HEATHER: I saw a mix of advance reviews while others were sent to me soon after being released.
I think the best part about reading a review is, you get to see how the rest of the world views your story.
I’ve learnt so much about Mika’s illustrations from reading reviews.
For example, one review commented on Mika’s technique as a way to convey information to children.
“Boldly outlined watercolor and ink artwork by Song (A Friend for Henry) conveys visual information with strength that suggests Ho‘onani’s own.”
And then I read, “Watercolor and thick, angular black lines against a combination of white, open spaces, and blue or tan backgrounds elevate and emphasize Ho’onani as the central character within each spread.
As well, the use of bold colors at times helps some characters become more noticeable in crowd scenes.”
And here’s another wonderful comment on Mika’s illustrations: “The boys filing past in the background, and the empty pair of flip-flops left in the hallway, are pale and weak in comparison to Ho’onani’s profound sense of self as a hula warrior.”
E. Schneider at Imaginary Elevators https://imaginaryelevators.blog/2019/09/03/she-is-who-she-is/
With each of these reviews I went back to my copy and noticed the same.
SUSANNA: How long did it take from offer to having the first copy in your hand?
HEATHER: The process from signing the contract to a first copy was almost two years. That sounds like a long time, but it wasn’t. We were always moving forward with the next steps.
SUSANNA: What kind of marketing and promotion has your publisher done for this book?
HEATHER: Tundra Books has gone above and beyond in their efforts to get this book noticed by various communities.
From trade reviews to tradeshows, to advertising to promotions, Ho’onani: Hula Warrior has been included or is their featured title.
SUSANNA: Describe any marketing/promotion you did for this book.
HEATHER: I’ve reached out to picture book bloggers I know and asked for any opportunity to be a guest post or have the book reviewed.
I’ve also figured out Twitter and become more involved.
And I plan on doing school and library visits – my first is in NZ!
SUSANNA: Wow! NZ?! That is AMAZING! How long was it between the time you started writing seriously and the time you sold your first picture book? HEATHER: The whole process took me six years along with a lot of online and class courses, some conferences and then just hours in the chair, practicing and honing the craft.
I actually started my serious writing with a psychological thriller which I wrote one year during NANOWRIMO (National November Writing Month). And, I still like that story and maybe one day I’ll get to revise it.
SUSANNA: Anything else you’d like to share about your book’s journey from inspiration to publication? HEATHER: This book has taught me a lot about the industry and I’m in awe. We have so many dedicated, passionate professionals who work with picture books and once a manuscript is sold, there’s still so much more that happens behind the scenes before it reaches the shelves.
SUSANNA: Heather, thank you so much for taking the time to participate in this series and paying it forward to other writers! We so appreciate all your insights, and the helpful information you shared about your writing process! Wishing you the very best of success with this and future books!!!
A plot, one might say, involving sneaking, secrecy, and skulduggery!
I know what you’ve have been up to.
On a dark and stormy night, you all got together in a cobweb-covered barn and, sipping a delectable steaming potion concocted of chocolate and cream, with bobbing marshmallows and a dusting of cocoa powder, you rubbed your hands together gleefully and cackled, “Oh, what a trick we can play!”
Forthwith, you applied yourself to submitting 324 – yes, that’s THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FOUR!!! – amazing entries to the 9th Annual Halloweensie Contest!
I think it’s safe to say you nearly did us in.
We are but shadows of our former selves, haggard from a solid week of reading and re-reading, evaluating and re-evaluating, trying desperately to narrow the tremendous field down to 12 finalists.
I’m going to tell you straight out it was an impossible task.
There were SO MANY well-written, fabulous, entertaining, delightful entries. In order to pick 12 for you to vote on we had to put aside literally hundreds, many of which were of equal quality. So I recognize that many of you may feel you would have chosen differently. I get that. In the final analysis, try as we might to be objective, an element of subjectivity almost has to come in to play in order to choose between multiple entries of similar quality. Please know we admire everyone for their talent, throughly enjoyed every story we read, and that we did the best we could.
12 entries made the finals.
312 did not.
A mere 3.7% made it to the top. If you’re in that 3.7%, give yourself a congratulatory handshake. If you’re not, rest assured you’re in extremely good company.
We were ruthless about some things because we simply had to be.
The judging criteria were clear:
1. Kid-appeal! – These stories are intended for a young audience, so entries that were well-written but lacked child-friendliness did not make the cut. Same for entries where the appeal, humorous or otherwise, seemed more directed toward adult readers than children.
2. Halloweeniness – the rules stated a Halloween story, so entries that failed to mention anything Halloween-y did not make the cut even if they were well-written. Surprisingly 5-10 fell into this category and were stories that could have taken place at any time – not specifically Halloween.
3. Quality of story – the rules stated that entries were to tell a story, so if they appeared to be more of a description or mood piece, they didn’t make the cut. We looked for a character and a true story arc.
4. Quality of Writing: we took note of spelling, grammar, punctuation etc. In addition, for the rhymers, we looked at rhyme and meter (for which we are sticklers!) We also looked at overall writing quality and use of language. There were a lot of problems in this department, and since the competition was so fierce, we did cut people for punctuation, capitalization, and word usage errors, as well as for relatively minor glitches in meter – one or two lines that threw the rhythm off – because there were so many that were perfect.
5. Originality and creativity – because that is often what sets one story above another.
A surprising number of this year’s entries were amazingly written… but in spite of the warning, still failed to really tell a story. This is SO TOUGH in 100 words – I totally get it. But some people managed better than others. There were any number of entries that were superbly written that we wanted to choose, but when we got right down to it, there really just wasn’t much story… not compared to some of the other entries that really managed to tell one. They were more descriptions, lists, or mood pieces. So as awesome as they were, we had to make some very hard calls. A couple were too adult. Some, because of the cruelly limiting word count were a little hard to follow. Some of the rhyming ones we really liked were too off-meter to make the cut. Some entries were just so close, but missed out because of one relatively small thing! GAH! So hard!
(There is nothing like reading through so many to give you an editor’s perspective. Read through 300+ stories and you’ll quickly see how there can be A LOT that are really quite good, so there has to be something to make them stand out. Something that sets them apart from the ocean of very-strong-nothing-particularly-wrong-with-them-but-nothing-that-makes-you-say-WOW submissions. It will make you realize exactly how important it is to make your manuscript fresh and heart -or mind-capturing in some way. You want yours to be the submission the editor (or contest judge) can’t stop thinking about.😊)
So now, just quick before we get to the finalists, I want to thank EVERYONE who took the time and care to write an entry for this contest. You all did a fabulous job and provided great enjoyment for many!
Second, I’d also like to thank EVERYONE – writer, reader, or both – who took the time to go around and read as many entries as you could and leave supportive comments. This means so much to the writers who worked hard on their stories. It helps them see what they did well, as well as giving them the joy of knowing that their stories were read and enjoyed. I hope you all got as much delight and entertainment out of the reading as I did! Plus, we got to meet quite a few new people which was a wonderful added bonus! 🙂
Third, before I list the finalists, I want to say one final time how truly difficult it was too narrow such a field! There were so many amazing entries. Really. I could find at least something terrific about every single one. The sheer volume of entries meant that many good ones had to be cut. So if yours didn’t make the final cut please don’t feel bad. The fact that you didn’t make the final cut DOES NOT mean you didn’t write a great story. Everyone who plonked their butt in a chair and worked hard to write a story for this contest is a winner! You showed up. You did your best work. You practiced your craft. You wrote to specifications and a deadline. You bravely shared your writing with the world. And you have a brand new story that is now yours to expand beyond 100 words if you like and maybe submit at some point to a magazine or as a PB manuscript. A lot of people have successfully done that at this point – we have quite a few books in the world that were born or had new life breathed into them in Halloweensie, Holiday, or Valentiny Contests! So bravo to everyone who entered!
So, without further ado, I present to you the 2019 Halloweensie Contest Finalists. A mix of poetry and prose (weirdly weighted toward rhyme – just the way it panned out), stories for younger readers and slightly older (but still kid) readers, funny, spooky, and cute. Please read through them carefully, take your time, think it over, and vote for your favorite. To help with objectivity, finalists are listed by title only, not by author.
And I’d like to be very clear about the voting process. You are MOST welcome to share a link to this post on FB, twitter, or wherever you like to hang out, and encourage people to come read ALL the finalists and vote for the one they think is best. Please do that. The more people who read and enjoy these stories the better, and the more objective votes we get the better. HOWEVER (and I want to be very clear on this) please do not ask people to vote for a specific number or title, or for the story about the sombrero-wearing witch or whatever. Trolling for votes or trying to influence the outcome is counter to the spirit of this competition which is supposed to be based on merit. I thank you in advance for respecting this.
So here we go!
#1 – Sneaky Sister
My sister swore her potion
Was succulently sweet.
She whispered if I’d drink it, I’d grow feathers on my feet.
My skin would glow magenta,
My ears would multiply,
The cobwebs sprouting from my nose would smell like mildew pie.
My sister said “Don’t worry,
There’s not a thing to fear!
Tomorrow all the side effects will (mostly) disappear…
You’ll be the perfect monster
For this year’s trick-or-treat!
Just guzzle my concoction, and you’ll terrify our street.”
But now she’s flabbergasted
Because I’m feeling fine.
I guess she doesn’t know:
I poured it in her cup
Not mine.
#2 – A Halloween Visit
The pumpkin-moon rises on Halloween night,
A tiny black coffin with eight bats takes flight.
An eight-legged driver with dagger-fanged jaws?
That’s not old Saint Nick, it’s his pal Spider-Claws!
His cobweb-wrapped presents of potions and spells
Will flip-flop your tummy with nose-burning smells.
He creeps down the chimney with barely a noise
To leave scary gifts for all ghouls, girls, and boys.
He might bring you nightmares or haunt all your dreams
With hair-curling howling and spine-tingling screams.
Then Spider-Claws shrieks from his cold, coffin seat—
“Happy Halloween all, and to all Trick-Or-Treat!”
#3 – The Nickname Cure
Matilda’s nickname gave her a case of the gloomies.
Especially today on Halloween.
Since her first day at Spookamentary School,
the zombies, ghouls, and mummies called her
W A R T I L D A !
The name didn’t suit Matilda. After all, her wart was teensy-tiny.
Moments before trick-or-treating, Matilda slipped into the science lab.
She picked a sticky cobweb and two bat wings from a box.
She stirred them up with one juicy, lizard’s gizzard.
“This potion will do the trick!” said Matilda.
She dabbed the mixture on her chin and…
Ka-BOOOM!
Matilda’s wart grew large and hairy.
“Perfect!” said Matilda. “Now my nickname suits me.”
#4 – Itchy Witchy Underwear
Every year on Halloween,
there’s pumpkins, costumes, and a scene
that thrills the region’s flight fanatics:
Myrtle’s Fright-Night Aerobatics!
But Myrtle’s stumbled on a hitch:
her witchy britches make her itch!
Charms and chants and incantations–
none relieves her aggravations.
Myrtle checks a cobwebbed cranny
for a brew to soothe her fanny.
“Use this potion if you dare.”
She pours it on her underwear.
“It’s done the trick! Oh, lucky witch!
Britches gone, but so’s the itch!”
Feeling breezy on her broom,
Myrtle zips to practice. Zoom!
On Halloween she wows the town–
but…
DON’T watch Myrtle upside down!
#5 – Tricky Witch Test
It’s Halloween! Tonight’s my chance. I’ve got to join the witches dance!
If I can pass this potion test, at last I’ll with cackle with the rest!
Two strands of cobweb, eye of newt, a pinch of stinky goblin root…
GULP!
Do you smell smoke? I feel a spark! I think I’m glowing in the dark!
What’s that? I passed? I got it right? I’m now a pumpkin burning bright?
Hooray! I’m glad I did so well, but how do I undo this spell?
BURP!
That’s all it took to make the switch? Tonight I get to be a witch!
#6 – Let’s Go Scarecrow
Bloop-blop
Past the oozing potion.
Let’s go, Scarecrow.
Shuffle-shuffle
Under drooping cobwebs.
There’s the door.
TIP-toe TIP-toe
Shhh, Let’s go, Scarecrow.
DING-DONG!
“TRICK or TREAT!”
“MWA-HA-HA-HA!!
AAAAHHH!
Let’s go! Let’s go!
Under the cobwebs.
Past the potion.
Through the maze.
Over the bridge.
Down the path.
Through the leaves,
PHEW!
Finally, safe at home again.
#7 – Tacky Trick
Itty-bitty corner,
teeny-tiny shed.
Eensie-weensie spider
hanging by a thread.
Spiderling is spinning.
Complicated! Tricky!
Can’t construct a cobweb.
Help! The strings aren’t sticky!
Searches for solutions,
while Halloween is new.
Awkwardly appears
arachnid has no glue.
Witchy whizzes in then,
(broom repair, you see),
catches Spider sobbing
among the web debris.
Witchy comforts Spider
with a shushing motion.
Utters muttered verses,
promptly pours a potion.
Golden drop is plopped
on Spider’s little backy.
Silken threads appear.
Some twirl and tie—they’re tacky!
Spider’s on the broom now,
trying to repay.
Sticky silk will mend it.
Witchy’s on her way!
#8 -Vampire Stains
Curses! No! It can’t be so!
I need to get to my chateau!
Zis cloak is now adorned with stains
From zees night’s many spurting veins.
Vhere’s my blood removal lotion?
Bleh! I vill just make a potion.
To rid ze blood, resume abductions,
Follow zees precise instructions:
Curls of cobwebs, vings of bats
Vort of toad and tails of cats.
Zen a scoop of Oxyclean
To look my best on Halloveen.
Ah-ha! That vorked! A vondrous trick!
Now back to hunting very quick.
Bleh! I’m shiny as a spark!
I’m much too clean; glow-in-ze-dark!
#9 – Boo Quiet To Spook?
It’s Halloween, and Glenda Ghost
must face the thing she dreads the most:
to haunt tonight, each ghost and ghoul
must prove they’ve mastered Spooking School!
So Glenda waits to do her best
while witches pass their potions test.
Next up, the werewolves howl and growl,
and black cats hiss and monsters scowl.
As Glenda’s turn approaches fast,
she fears her timid “Boo” won’t pass.
Would trick-or-treaters shrink in fright,
or laugh if Glenda spooks tonight?
The spiders spin,
then Glenda’s next!
She LOOMS—nose twitching, fingers flexed.
With cobwebs clinging, quiet “Boo!”
becomes a spookier
“AhhhhhHHHHHhhhhhhhHHHHhhhhhhhhh-Choo!”
#10 – Ghost’s Pest Problem
Ghost peeked out the window.
GHOST: Ahhhh!!!
He picked up the phone and dialed the number.
WITCH: You’ve reached Lotions, Potions, and Other Solutions, how may I help you?
GHOST: I’ve got a pest problem!
WITCH: Okay, I’ll send the exterminator.
Later…
Knock, knock.
Ghost opened the door.
GHOST: Finally, you’re here! They’re all over the front porch!
SPIDER: It’s that time of year. Halloween always brings them out, especially to haunted houses.
GHOST: You’re sure the traps will work?
SPIDER: Oh yeah, they always get caught in them.
Ding-dong.
GHOST: They’re here! Quick! Spin the cobwebs!
“Trick-or-treat!”
#11 – Gloona The Grinchy Witch
Gloona the witch was a ghastly old soul-
more greed than a dragon, more warts than a troll.
On Halloween evening, she mixed up a brew
with lizard tail, bedbugs, and pickled worm goo.
From out of her potion, a ghoulish mist crept.
It oozed through the streets until everyone slept.
Beaming with glee, Gloona flew out unseen.
She swept through the city and stole Halloween.
She took every cobweb, each pumpkin and light,
the scarecrows, the sweets, the decor made of fright,
and inside her cottage, she laughed with conceit.
That is, ‘til she heard, “Ring-a-ding. Trick or treat!”
#12 – Broom Or Bust
The Witches-Who-Confer convene,
just once a year on Halloween.
The youngest witch to ever try
to earn her broom and learn to fly,
Sabrina stood before the crowd;
enacting words she spoke out loud:
“A pinch of cobweb, extra dusty,
metal shavings, not too rusty.
Put them in a pumpkin shell.
Add the potion; mix it well.”
Sabrina ducked behind the chair
as pumpkin pieces pierced the air.
And once the chaos came to rest
Sabrina said, “I tried my best!
I’ll go back home; I’ll hone my tricks
and I’ll be back when I am six!”
I know this is a tough choice! But please read and consider and choose your favorite and vote for it in the poll below by Monday November 11 at midnight Eastern time! That gives you 3 whole days to vote!
Due to the large number of entries and the amount of time it took to get the finalists posted, my schedule is a disaster. There will be a Tuesday Debut on Tuesday and a Would You Read It on Wednesday which were previously scheduled, so I will try to post the contest winners on Thursday. I am leaving for Brazil on Wednesday, however, which will make handling the prize distribution and related emails a bit tricky until I get back. So I beg your indulgence and appreciate your patience! I will get it all sorted out just as quickly as I can!
I apologize for the fact that I am behind schedule posting the finalists. I know you are all waiting. I did not anticipate 324 entries or I would have given myself and the other judges more time. We will do our best to have the finalists posted by tomorrow or Saturday.
Lizard toes and dragon scales! It’s time for . . .
The9THAnnualHALLOWEENSIECONTEST!!!
~ for children’s writers ~
The Contest: write a 100 word Halloween story appropriate for children (children here defined as 12 and under) (title not included in the 100 words), using the words potion, cobweb, and trick. Your story can be scary, funny, sweet, or anything in between, poetry or prose, but it will only count for the contest if it includes those 3 words and is 100 words (you can go under, but not over!) Get it? Halloweensie – because it’s not very long and it’s for little people 🙂 (And yes, I know 100 words is short, but that’s part of the fun and the challenge! We got over 235 fantastic entries last year, so I know you can do it!) Also, you may use the words in any form – e.g. potions, cobwebbed, trickery, whathaveyou 🙂 NO ILLUSTRATION NOTES PLEASE! (And yes, you may submit more than one entry if you’re so inclined 🙂 )
Post: your story on your blog between right now this very second and Thursday October 31st by 11:59 PM EDT and add your post-specific link to the list below (not your blog’s main url because if you post again after your entry during the dates of the contest, the judges will find the wrong post!) There will be no Tuesday Debut, Perfect Picture Book or Would You Read It posts for the duration of the contest so the links will stay up for everyone to visit and enjoy. If you don’t have a blog and would like to enter, you can simply copy and paste your entry in the comments section below (please include your byline! If your posting handle is something like MamaWritesByNightlight I can’t identify you.) If you have difficulty posting in the comments, which unfortunately sometimes happens, you may email your entry to me at susanna[at]susannahill[dot]com and I’ll post it for you. Please place your entry in the body of the email including your title and byline at the top – NO ATTACHMENTS! And please do not submit entries before the start of the contest! Please submit your entry only ONCE! If you add it to the blog link list, and the comments, and email me to post it, things get very confusing! I try to stay as glued to my desk as possible, but sometimes I have to get up so if I don’t respond to your email or approve your post immediately, don’t panic! I’ll get to it as soon as I can!
The Judging: in a grueling marathon over the coming days, my devoted assistants and I will narrow down the entrants to 369 12? top choices (hee hee hee – you know how much trouble I have with winnowing, so we’ll see!) which will be posted here and voted on for a winner on Monday November 4th (if the judging takes longer than we expect if could be later…but we will do our best!) The winner will be announced on Thursday November 7th (good lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise 🙂 )
Judging criteria will be as follows:
1. Kid-appeal! – These stories are intended for a young audience (ages 12 and under), so we’re looking for stories that children will enjoy and relate to.
2. Halloweeniness – the rules state a Halloween story, so it must be crystal clear that the story is about Halloween, not just some random spooky night.
3. Quality of story – entries must tell a story, including a main character of some kind and a true story arc even if it’s tiny 🙂 Entries must not be merely descriptions or mood pieces.
4. Quality of Writing: check your spelling, grammar, punctuation etc. If you’re going to rhyme, give us your best 🙂 Overall writing quality and use of language are also important.
5. Originality and creativity – because that is often what sets one story above another.
6. PLEASE FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS! Large numbers of entries make it easy to cut entries that haven’t been entered as we asked.
The Prizes: SO AMAZING! What a generous community we have to donate so much awesomeness!!! 🙂
Go Directly To Go! Skip The Slushpile at Blue Whale Press and Get Your PB Manuscript Directly On The Editor’s Desk!!!
Submit your picture book manuscript directly to editor Alayne Christian for her consideration and critique. Helpful feedback is a certainty, publication could be a possibility!
Blue Whale Press is an SCBWI PAL publisher of children’s books that focuses on stories involving themes of friendship and/or personal challenge. Most often, stories are selected for publishing due to their inherent educational or moral value. But as a general rule, a good dose of humor or a tug at the heart doesn’t hurt their chances of being published either. While a few chapter books and a middle grade are on their list, their focus is picture books. As a boutique publisher who doesn’t mind taking risks, Blue Whale Press considers itself to be a launch pad for authors and illustrators hoping to establish themselves.
Hone Your Skills with the Lyrical Language Lab Rhyme & Meter Self Study Crash Course (11 Lessons) from accomplished writer and poet Renee LaTulippe
INTENSIVE RHYME AND METER CRASH COURSE
This option contains all the same lessons as Module 1 of Renee’s fully guided course, including all supplemental materials, downloads, and audio/video components. This is the option to choose if you need to build a strong foundation in the mechanics of rhyming picture books and poetry. The major focus is on the four main types of meter and how to use mixed and varied meter. Other topics include rhythm, cadence, breath, scansion, rhyme, sound devices, figurative language, imagery, and diction.
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You also have the opportunity to submit two of your assignments to Renee for feedback, and have email access to ask questions about the lessons as you complete them. Although lessons will arrive every other day, you are free to complete them at your own pace.
See the course description above for more information.
Rhyming Picture Book Manuscript Critique from Carrie Finison, author of DOZENS OF DOUGHNUTS and DON’T HUG DOUG, forthcoming from Putnam in August 2020 and Spring 2021.
Fiction OR Nonfiction Picture Book Manuscript Critique (non-rhyming please) from Darshana Khiani, author of HOW TO WEAR A SARI forthcoming from HMH/Versify, Spring 2021
Picture Book Manuscript Critique (non-rhyming please) from Gabi Snyder, author of TWO DOGS ON A TRIKE, forthcoming from Abrams Appleseed, May 2020 and LISTEN, forthcoming from S&S/Wiseman, Spring 2021
Please join me in thanking these very generous authors and other writing professionals for contributing their books and writing expertise as prizes by visiting their websites and blogs, considering their books and services for holiday or other gift purchases, rating and/or reviewing their books on GoodReads, Amazon, B&N or anywhere else if you like them, recommending them for school visits, or supporting them in any other way you can dream up 🙂
Now then, my pretties! It’s past the witching hour in the dead of night – very appropriate for a Halloween story, don’t you think? – and the time has come for my sample entry (which I seriously almost did not get done!) I seem to have developed a bad habit of having editorial deadlines that land in the middle of these contests, so I freely own up to the fact that I way exceeded the word count because I simply didn’t have time to make it shorter. My apologies for totally cheating! It’s not even like it’s any good as a result… but it does come to a sort of an ending😊 If nothing else, it should fill you with confidence in your own MUCH MUCH better efforts!!!
Runaway Imagination
(so many words I’m not even writing it down!😊)
Costumes, make-up, pounding feet
Rushing out to trick-or-treat.
Almost at the farmyard gate
Witch Lucinda hollers, “Wait!
In this Halloween commotion
I forgot my poison potion!”
Sets her plastic pumpkin down.
“Go ahead! We’ll meet in town!”
Grabs her potion. Comes back quick.
But someone’s played an awful trick!
Her pumpkin pail, left on the ground,
Has disappeared and can’t be found!
Nevermind. A bag will do.
The witch zooms off to join her crew.
But halfway down the old farm road
She sees a sight that stops her cold.
In the shadows of the night
Glides a shape of ghostly white
Issuing an eerie moan
That makes Lucinda RUN for home!
Ghost flies past her fleeing faster
Surely this will be disaster!
Stops short at the barnyard fence.
Suddenly it all makes sense.
Head stuck in her pumpkin pail
Covered in a cobweb veil,
This is not a scary ghost!
Just a foolish baby goat!
Never say I’m not willing to embarrass myself for you! 😊😊😊 That is true love!😊
I can’t wait to read all of your entries! I’m so looking forward to them! I hope there will be a lot – the more the merrier! And there are still nearly 4 days to write, so you have time if you haven’t written yet. Feel free to spread the word to your writing friends as well. And your reading friends – parents, teachers, etc. The more people who read and enjoy your stories, the better!!!
Contest Entrants, remember to add your post-specific link to the google form below so we can all come read your awesome stories! (Post-specific means not your main blog url, but the actual url of the post that has your story in it – otherwise if you post again before the contest ends, your link will take readers… and judges!… to the wrong place!)
Eager Readers – just go along the list of links, click on them, and enjoy the stories!
Happy Writing and Happy Halloween!!! 🙂 🎃
And don’t miss the197!!! fabulous entries that are posted in the comments below! (And HURRAY! I FINALLY figured out how to make links (THANK YOU AMY!) so you can click directly through to each story to read and comment for the talented authors!!!)
(Where authors’ first names were the same/same spelling I tried to add last names)
If you can relate it to a holiday at all (which is a bit of a stretch 🙂 ) the book I’ve chosen to share today is a little more Thanksgiving-y than Halloween-y. But even though Halloween comes first and is less than a week away, this book is too good not to share now 🙂
Title: Fry Bread: A Native American Family Story
Written By: Kevin Noble Maillard
Illustrated By: Juana Martinez-Neal
Roaring Brook Press, October 22 2019, nonfiction
Suitable For Ages: 3-6 (but older kids and adults will find the back matter very interesting!)
Themes/Topics: heritage, tradition, family, community
Opening: “FRY BREAD IS FOOD Flour, salt, water Cornmeal, baking powder Perhaps milk, maybe sugar All mixed together in a big bowl”
text copyright Kevin Noble Maillard 2019, illustration copyright Juana Martinez-Neal 2019 Roaring Brook Press
Brief Synopsis: A celebration of how this no-single-recipe-fits-all community food draws families and friends together and provides continuity from generation to generation.
text copyright Kevin Noble Maillard 2019, illustration copyright Juana Martinez-Neal 2019 Roaring Brook Press
Links To Resources: the back of the book contains extensive additional information that teachers and parents can use to round out the use of the book at home and in the classroom and that older readers will enjoy. Topics include a recipe for the author’s own unique version of Fry Bread as well as information on Indigenous people, geography, history, and more.
Why I Like This Book: the text is simple, powerful, and accessible to readers of all ages, telling the story of how Fry Bread brings families and communities together and encourages tradition. The back matter adds another layer with a great deal of very interesting information about a wide range of connected topics. The art is warm and appealing, adding its own element to the story with illustrations of Native bowls and baskets, a wide array of physical appearances that can all be Native American, and a map that lacks the usual delineations in order to show how Indigenous people are in every population. Beautifully done, and a wonderful addition to any library!
text copyright Kevin Noble Maillard 2019, illustration copyright Juana Martinez-Neal 2019 Roaring Brook Press
PPBF folks, please add your titles and post-specific links (and any other info you feel like filling out 🙂 ) to the form below so we can all come see what fabulous picture books you’ve chosen to share this week!
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!!! 🙂
And get those Halloweensie entries finished up! The contest opens Monday!!! WOOHOO!!! 🙂
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