Would You Read It Wednesday #70 – Astrid Climbs Her Family Tree (PB) AND 2 Straight From The Editors

HAPPY NEW YEAR, everyone!!!

Here are my wishes for you:  that your year is filled with health, happiness, creativity, fun, and fulfillment in every aspect of your life!  Here’s to an amazing 2013!!! 🙂

I hope everyone’s holidays were wonderful, relaxing, restorative, and full of family togetherness.

Mine were practically perfect in every way.  The only bad part is when everyone has to leave and return to normal life.  My sister and her family go back to Georgia, my kids go back to school, my husband goes back to work, and the dogs and I are left in peace and quiet with free run of the house… well wait a minute… I guess that part doesn’t sound so bad 🙂

The highlights of vacation aside from Christmas itself were spending time with all the family, ice skating, sledding (yes we got snow! :), rousing games of Taboo (totally fun  – if you haven’t played I highly recommend it! :)), and Charades (where we ended up literally rolling on the floor howling with laughter until we couldn’t breathe!), snowy winter walks with the dogs, cozy evenings by the fire… golly gee it was lovely!  There was one small incident involving a horse, a snowbank, and a fast-moving sanitation truck which resulted in my husband insisting I go to the ER for an X-ray (no it was not broken – I was totally right on that score!) and my kids referring to my hand for the rest of the vacation as “the claw” but all’s well that ends well, as Ma used to say in Little House On The Prairie 🙂  Still, if you notice that my typing is even worse than usual that’s why and you can blame it on the claw 🙂

We are not even going to discuss college applications.  Nope.  Zzzppp.  My lips are sealed.  Enough said.  Except I may have actually aged 10 years in the last three days.  But not another word.  Except why???  Why??? do they insist on leaving things of such importance to the absolute last minute???  I think it’s just to watch our hair turn gray.  But seriously, as you can see, I am not discussing it! 🙂

I must admit that, although I missed you all terribly, it was horrifyingly easy to not blog for a week!  I’m going to have to gather up my self-discipline and get back to it.  I can promise you that there will be some serious whip-cracking from the person in charge around here until order is restored!  And no fruit cup 🙂  (Bonus points to anyone who knows which movie “no fruit cup” is from :))

So anyway, due to the holidays and everyone’s busy schedules, we got a little behind on our Straight From The Editors, so today I’ve got Carrie’s from October as well as Larissa’s from November.

Carrie’s pitch was as follows:

Scooter Annie (PB ages 4-8)
Annie loves swooping and gliding on her new scooter. Nothing can stop her…except the hill at the end of her street. Now, if Annie wants to ride in the neighborhood parade, she must find a way to tackle that big hill – without getting hurt in a big way.

Erin’s comments are:

This is cute. I like Annie’s swooping and gliding but the ending is a bit of a downer. An editor would be more inclined to request it or take notice of it if were more positive. Perhaps something like –she must find a way to tackle that big hill  — and prove what a big girl she is or – and glide at the head of the parade . . .
Something that gives a reader the idea that yes, she’s afraid of the hill, but she can/will conquer it :).

Larissa’s pitch was as follows:

Dim Sum Dog – PB – ages 4-8
With business dwindling, Chang and his family fear they will have to close their dim sum stand. But with the help of a special dim sum-loving dog who entertains customers, they may save the stand after all.

Erin’s comments are:

This has potential but I think to better grab an editor’s eye you should make more clear whether the dog is theirs, or is he  a stray, and if he is, does he join their family as well as help their business out? Something that grabs their hearts right from the get-go. Perhaps something like this:
Dim Sum Dog – PB – ages 4-8With business dwindling, Chang and his family fear they will have to close their dim sum stand. But with the help of a special dim sum-loving stray dog who entertains customers, they may save the stand after all and make an addition to their family . . . .

As always, I find her thoughts so helpful and educational!

And now it’s time for our very first Would You Read It of the New Year!!!  Are you ready?  Here we go 🙂

Today’s pitch comes to us from Sidney, whom you may remember from her early reader pitch back in October for Phantom And The Boneyard.  Sidney is a former newspaper reporter and editor.  She now works for a university and writes freelance.  She is a wife and the mother of a toddler, and is enjoying dipping her toe into the great ocean of fiction!

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Astrid Climbs Her Family Tree
Age/Genre: PB (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: Astrid is bored silly one Saturday. Then she discovers family photo albums. But she can’t figure out how she is related to all these people. Join Astrid as she learns how to draw a family tree, create a gravestone rubbing, build an Aztec pyramid and chase her boredom away. 

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Sidney improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in February, so you have time to polish 🙂 for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!

Sidney is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  And I am looking forward to regaining full use of the claw 🙂

Have a great day, everyone!  And here’s to a New Year filled with our best writing ever! 🙂

P.S.  Oh, and YIKES!  I almost forgot to mention that I am guest posting on Donna Martin’s blog today to kick off her new Writerly Wisdom series (although whether I have any wisdom to share is debatable :)) so please hop over and visit if you care to – I’m sure she’d appreciate it.  And also, I am a Guest Expert (her words not mine :)) at Patricia Morrison’s virtual conference Take Your Talent To The Bank which will take place next week from January 8th-11th.  (My part is on the 11th, and I will share more info on FB, twitter and here.)

Would You Read It Wednesday #63 – Scooter Annie Braves The Hill (PB), Straight From The Editor #13, AND The Halloweensie Contest!!!

Holy Jack-O-Lanterns Batman!

Why didn’t anyone remind me that I forgot to post the Halloweensie Contest Rules on Monday???!!!  Now we’ve got a gigantic post for today!  So that’s it.  No chitchat!  We’re getting right down to business!

First things first.  It’s Would You Read It Wednesday, so grab your Something Chocolate!  Care to join me for some chocolate cheesecake?

Chocolate Cheesecake… YUM!!!
Photo copyright Stacy Jensen 2012 used by permission

You know, usually I can rationalize the chocolate into some form of acceptable breakfast, but this one eludes me.  Just enjoy 🙂

Now then.  Straight From The Editor for the September Pitch Pick, which you will recall was won by the lovely Elizabeth with her pitch for Buff The Magic Dragon.

Buff The Magic Dragon
Picture Book, ages 4-8
The Pitch: Buff the Magic Dragon is afraid of EVERYTHING. But when his magic trick-gone-wrong lands the baby Princess Ponypants in the tentacles of Captain Meanie Bones Jones, Buff must swallow his fear to save her. 

Here are editor Erin Molta’s comments:

This is cute. I think it would work better if instead of saying “swallow his fear” you say, “overcome his fear”. Because when swallow is used it’s almost always about swallowing one’s pride and I think you’d rather have the connotation being strong. Then I think you might want to be a tad more specific about what fear he is overcoming. I know he’s afraid of everything but if he is to rescue Princess Ponypants(cute name!) from Captain Meanie Bones Jones, he’ll need to face that fear directly. So perhaps Buff must overcome his fear of  . . . eight-legged purple sea monsters or his fear of water in order to do battle with the Captain . . .

I don’t know about you, but I always find Erin’s thoughts very helpful!

Moving right along, we have today’s pitch from Carrie who blogs over at Story Patch and who, if you’ve spent any time around here at all, you will recognize as the pitch doctor 🙂  She has an uncanny ability to take any pitch, keep what’s best, and fix what needs help.  But it’s always a different matter when it comes to your own work, isn’t it?  So today she’s asking for your help.  Let’s see if she needs any 🙂

Working Title: Scooter Annie Braves The Hill
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: When Annie gets a new scooter, she can’t wait to ride. She loves swooping down her driveway and gliding along the sidewalk. But if Annie wants to ride in the neighborhood parade, she must find a way to conquer her fears and tackle the biggest hill in town.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Carrie improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in January, so you have time to polish 🙂 for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Carrie is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  And I am looking forward to presenting The Halloweensie Contest!!!

Are you ready?

What is that noise in the dark of night?

It’s coming closer…

…and closer…

*dramatic Hollywood scream*  AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

It’s the (2nd Annual!) HALLOWEENSIE CONTEST!!!!!


courtesy google images

The Contest:  write a 100 word Halloween story appropriate for children (title not included in the 100 words), using the words witchbat, and “trick-or-treat.   Your story can be scary, funny or anything in between, poetry or prose, but it will only count for the contest if it includes those 3 words and is 100 words (you can go under, but not over!)  Get it?  Halloweensie – because it’s not very long and it’s for little people 🙂

Post your story on your blog on Wednesday October 31 and link up here (and I’m really hoping we don’t get 2 feet of snow that knocks out the power and the internet this year!!!)  If you don’t have a blog and would like to enter, you can simply copy and paste your entry in the comments section of the Wednesday October 31 official contest blog post that will go up here.

The Judge: my lovely assistant and I will narrow down the entrants to three (hee hee hee – you know how much trouble I have with only 3, so we’ll see) top choices which will be posted here and voted on for a winner.

The Prize:  Okay.  Seriously?  I think this is a good prize 🙂  The winner will receive 5 (that’s FIVE!) brand new picture books personalized and signed by the authors!  These 5 awesome books are: PUZZLED BY PINK by Sarah Frances Hardy, THE MONSTER WHO LOST HIS MEAN by Tiffany Strelitz Haber, THE THREE NINJA PIGS by Corey Rosen Schwartz, MARATHON MOUSE by Amy Dixon, and FLAP! by Alison Hertz.  Great to keep for your own collection or to give to little ones in your life as holiday gifts 🙂

Doesn’t that sound like fun?  Last year this was the very first writing contest I ever had on my blog, and I think we got 8 entries.  I’m really really hoping we get lots more this year – it’s fun, it’s not too long (one might even call it short and sweet :)), it has to do with Halloween, which makes you think of candy, which is pretty much synonymous with chocolate… – so really, what could be better? 🙂

So get those thinking caps on – you’ve got a whole week to come up with a 100 word kids’ Halloween story! (and I’ve already given your three of the words 🙂 witchbat, and “trick-or-treat“) – and, since I went and distracted you with the contest, everyone please remember to leave your thoughts on Carrie’s pitch!

Have a lovely Wednesday, my friends 🙂

Would You Read It Wednesday #60 – Alpha Bitty (PB) And Straight From The Editor #12

Golly!  The days are just packed!  Remember that old commercial for Almond Joy and Mounds… sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t?  Lately I feel like a nut pretty much all the time 🙂

So, given all that nuttiness, let’s grab our something chocolate (for some reason I’m kind of feeling like an Almond Joy this morning :)) and get right down to the first item on today’s agenda: Straight From The Editor for Kimberley, the winner of the August Pitch Pick.  You will recall her pitch:

Saturdays With Fish (PB ages 4-8)

Libby and her stepdad go fishing on Saturday to leave the loud city behind and find the peace of a quiet pond. It is there they find joy as simple and warm as the sun. At the pond they fish, chat, and eat a picnic lunch without any disruptions. When Libby accidentally hooks a bullfrog, the spell may be broken. Can they find their way back to quiet?

Here are editor Erin Molta’s comments:

The sentiment to this is nice but the way you have it set up it sounds ominous—does her stepfather turn into a raging lunatic if there’s a disruption? Do all the fish disappear?
I think you need to decide what point you want to get across. Is the book about Libby and her stepfather bonding—sharing an experience that they love—or is it about the disruption and what happens after it? Finding a way back to quiet does not seem like a strong enough hook and could very well cause an editor to say she doesn’t need a quiet book. Now a book about father daughter bonding–that’s a different story. Perhaps the stepfather makes bull frog sounds or says, “mm, no trout tonight but frog legs are a delicacy” . . .something like that so the disruption only causes laughter and more enjoyment.

Very interesting and informative, don’t you think?  And I confess I’ve had the privilege of reading this story and it’s lovely – very much along the lines of what Erin was hoping for 🙂

Moving right along, we get to today’s pitch which comes to us from Linda.  Linda is a former gifted and talented teacher and the author of a number of books including the multi-award winning picture book, The Blue Roses.  Please take a moment to visit her website at www.lindaboyden.com.  Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Alpha Bitty
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-6)
The Pitch: A special tree stands on a special hill. Once a year Alpha Bitty carries her basket to pick the crop–not apples or oranges or even iPods. This tree sprouts letters. With the help of her friends, Wind, Rain and Sunshine, Alpha Bitty shares the letters with one and all so new stories may bloom.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Linda improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in December, so you have time to polish 🙂 for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!

I was going to round out this Would You Read It extravaganza with the September Pitch Pick, but I decided that would be too much of an imposition on your time for today, so I’m going to save it for next week!  Go do something fun 🙂

Linda is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  And I am looking forward to seeing you here Friday for Perfect Picture Books (I’ve got a good one! :)) and I’m hoping to have a teeny surprise ready for you… but we shall see 🙂

Have a happy Wednesday everyone 🙂

Would You Read It Wednesday – The 54th Pitch, And Straight From The Editor #11

Buenos Miercoles mi amigos!

I hope you are all deeply impressed with my ability to render Spanish unrecognizable 🙂  It’s a gift 🙂

Surprise, surprise, guess where I am?  If you guessed en el coche (in the car for our English speaking audience) you are correct!  I may have to be surgically removed from Princess Blue Kitty come September… we are starting to have a very hard time telling where one of us ends and the other begins 🙂

Anyhoo, I know you are all champing at the bit to get to today’s pitch, plus we have Straight From The Editor.  Has there ever been anything better that Would You Read It Wednesday?  But yes!  The Something Chocolate that goes along with it!  Of course you may grab whatever chocolate suits your fancy, but today I am serving chocolate chip pancakes because Wendy suggested them and they sounded like a perfect choice!

In case you were wondering, I DO realize that this is not a picture of chocolate chip pancakes.  It is my step-daughter’s wedding cake.  But it is the only picture of food I have, and people have been poking fun at my ability to draw food using only the options on the keyboard, so just pretend since I can’t borrow from google anymore.  Chocolate chip pancakes anyone? 🙂

So, first up, Straight From The Editor starring Erin Molta, and Dana’s pitch.

Here is Dana’s pitch:

Working Title:  CJ’s Tiger
Age/Genre:  Picture Book (ages 4-8)
CJ has always dreamed of having a tiger for a pet, so he is thrilled when he awakens one day to find that his cat “Tiger” has transformed into a real tiger. However he soon learns that having a pet tiger is a lot harder than he imagined when the day turns into one big catastrophe!

And here are Erin’s comments:

This is cute! But since most people realize that a pet tiger might be more difficult to care for than a cat, I think you might want to add at least one example of how catastrophic it can be. So, the first sentence is fine but then I would say, “However, when “Tiger” mauls her favorite scratching post to smithereens and swallows the steaks mom had out for dinner –whole, he realizes that having a pet tiger is a lot harder than he imagined.” Of course, using the scenes you were envisioning that would make the day a catastrophe 🙂.

I think that is very helpful, don’t you?

Now, it’s time for today’s pitch which comes to us from Kimberley who has worked as a literacy coach, elementary teacher, grant writer, public policy lobbyist, and Executive Director of Literacy Volunteers. She is a master in the art of moving and changing. She is concentrating on staying in one place, raising her children in Maine, teaching, reading, and writing.

Here is her pitch:

Working Title:  Saturdays With Fish
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-7)
The Pitch:  When Libby goes fishing with her stepdad he calls her “Fish”. The loud loud loud of the city is left behind as they head to the quiet quiet quiet of the pond. It is there that Libby and her Stepdad find joy as simple and warm as the sun, well, except when Libby accidentally hooks a bullfrog!

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Kimberley improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in Octoberber, which is not very far away, so we could really use some new pitches!!

Kimberley is looking forward to your thoughts!  And I am looking forward to getting out of the car… if I am still able to stand up… and no, those are certainly NOT donut crumbs! 🙂  See you all Friday for the last Summer Short & Sweet which is going to be tons of fun!!!!!

Would You Read It Wednesday – The 50th Pitch! and Straight From The Editor #10

Grab your Something Chocolate and bring it and your computer out to the hammock so you can relax and enjoy today’s Would You Read It extravaganza (which simply means that, due to trying to stuff in extra posts and features around the edges, I’m lumping June’s Straight From The Editor in with today’s pitch :))

Yes, this is my yard – a little blurry because I tried to enlarge the hammock view.
Anyone who doesn’t have a hammock is invited to use mine – it’s just hanging around doing nothing 🙂

(Apologies to those of you with desktops – they’re a little harder to take out to the hammock – but I’m sure you’re resourceful :))

Anyhoo…  you will recall that the winner of the June pitch pick was Lori with her pitch for These Little Piggies.  Here is the original:

Working Title:  These Little Piggies
Age/Genre: Rhyming Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch:  In this Mother Goose mash-up, five little piggies are living happily in a shoe until a callous old woman forces her way in and turns their lives head over tails.  The piggies decide to set a trap for the old woman so, the first little piggy goes to market… the second little piggy stays home…  Will they succeed in giving the old coot the boot?

and here are Erin’s comments:

This is very cute! The one thing that worries me is the phrase “set a trap”. Seems too threatening. I think that, at least for the pitch, you should say, “the piggies decide to do something about her”?

You guys are getting good at this!  Erin hasn’t had a whole lot to say the last couple times 🙂

So, onto today’s pitch, which comes to us from the lovely Dana.  Dana is an illustrator/author from Michigan who revels in sketching, painting, and creating new worlds. She is currently working on the illustrations of a PB manuscript that she has also written called “CJ’s Tiger”.  Please visit her Website (which contains a link to her blog!)  (And really, I just have to insert here that her art is SO engaging!  I highly recommend a look!)  And you will be pleased to know that her pitch is for the very book she mentioned she is illustrating!

Working Title:  CJ’s Tiger
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch:  CJ thinks that it would be a great to have a tiger for a pet (even if his parents don’t agree). So CJ is thrilled when he awakens the next day to find that his cat “Tiger” has transformed into a real tiger! But he soon learns that having a pet tiger is a lot harder than he imagined when the day turns into one big cat-astrophe!

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Dana improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in August, which is not very far away at all at this point, so we could really use some new pitches!!
Dana is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  Just so y’all know, she is at work and, being a responsible type, can’t respond to comments until later when she’s on her own time, but SHE WILL BE HERE as soon as she can 🙂

Have a great day!  If you see someone looking lost in North Carolina, that will be me 🙂

Oh Susanna – What Vocabulary Is Developmentally Appropriate In A Picture Book? and Straight From The Editor #8

Good Monday Everyone!

Right this very second, while you guys are sipping your coffee, dunking your donuts, and/or eating your Wheaties, I am racing driving sedately along the road to Boston to look at colleges!  Very exciting 🙂

No doubt my GPS and I will bicker incessantly.  We have a love/hate relationship.  (She needs a name, by the way, my GPS.  My husband’s GPS is named Edna, so that’s taken.  All other suggestions will be entertained :))

The idea of navigating traffic in an unfamiliar city fills me with terror, but hopefully we’ll muddle through without causing any major incidents 🙂  I hope while we’re in Boston I’ll get to see Jack, Kack, Lack, Mack, Nack, Oack, Pack and Quack (and I hope you all know to whom I am referring! :))

Many of you missed my earliest posts when I still had the dogmobile – my 2002 Toyota Sienna which I totally loved but which, at 10 years old with over 200,000 miles and A LOT of wear and tear, had to be replaced in October.  So now we drive in style with Princess Blue Kitty who is a Subaru Outback – so sporty 🙂  She is called Princess because she’s so beautiful, and Blue because she’s so blue – indigo blue pearl is her official color – and Kitty because she purrs like a very large cat 🙂  I’m just telling you this so you’ll recognize me should I happen to pass you on the way 🙂

Alrighty then.  I’m driving, you’re reading Straight From The Editor followed by Oh Susanna 🙂

You will recall that the May Pitch Pick was won by Elizabeth with her pitch for Magnificent.  Here, once again, is the pitch:

Working Title: Magnificent
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch:  When the synchronized swimming Savanna Belles lose their watering hole to drought, the troop of elephant calves decide ballet is the perfect way to make them feel magnificent once again. Facing the challenges of trunk-tickling ants, loss of weightlessness, and the scarcity of tutus, can the girls tame the doubtful roars, hisses and cackles of the their wild friends, proving that they really can be magnificent ballerinas? Follow the tutued journey of these silly mammals as they sashay, leap and plié their way into even the wildest of hearts.

And here are Erin’s comments:

This is very cute. My only suggestion is to trim it a bit and make it simpler.
Here’s what I would do to make it more to the point.
When the synchronized swimming Savanna Belles lose their watering hole to drought, the troop of elephant calves decide ballet is the perfect way to make them feel magnificent once again. Facing the challenges of trunk-tickling ants, the scarcity of tutus, and gravity, can the girls tame the doubtful roars, hisses, and cackles of their wild friends? Follow the tutued journey of these silly mammals as they sashay, leap, and plié their way into even the wildest of hearts.

Very helpful, no?  Also proof that Elizabeth did a good job and has a good idea 🙂

Now then, onto today’s Oh Susanna question.

Pam asks the following:

As a teacher, I love reading books with lots of descriptive language and low frequency words.  This is important when I’m doing a lesson to expand vocabulary with words that 3s & 4s don’t hear every day.  But as a writer, how can I know if I’m writing a developmentally appropriate book?

This is a good question, Pam.

One of the difficult things about writing picture books is that you’re writing for two audiences – both your child listener and your adult reader – something that is true of no other genre.

But this is also one of the best things about writing picture books.  You’re not depending solely on a child’s existing vocabulary or knowledge of the world – there is an adult reader to explain and clarify.

In addition, if done well, the illustrations can really help with understanding.

This puts you, as a writer, in the wonderful position of being able to expand a child’s world.

That said, when you’re writing for the under-eights, you’re not going to write, “Perhaps the sentiments contained in the following pages, are not yet sufficiently fashionable to procure them general favour; a long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defence of custom.” (from Common Sense by Thomas Paine) in a child’s picture book 🙂

Developmental appropriateness is a combination of concept, sentence length, and vocabulary.

Your concept must be one a child can relate to – getting a new sibling, wanting her own room, fighting with a best friend, being afraid of thunderstorms, wishing his first tooth would fall out, losing a pet.  Or, if you choose something a little more beyond their range of experience, like living under the sea (as in Rainbow Fish or The Pout-Pout Fish), it still works if you connect with their emotional experience (not wanting to share, feeling sulky).  Concepts like violence or adultery would obviously not be developmentally appropriate! 🙂

While your sentences should vary somewhat in terms of length and structure, for the most part they should be short enough for the child to understand easily and for the adult to read aloud without gasping for air 🙂

As far as vocabulary, you have a unique opportunity to introduce new words.  As long as there aren’t too many unfamiliar words and as long as they fit neatly into the context and are explained by the situation and illustrations (at least to some degree), you can count on your adult reader to supply any remaining clarification necessary.  For example, in Can’t Sleep Without Sheep, I used the word “chaos.”  This is a word that many children don’t know.  But it’s clear from the story that things are getting way out of hand, and one look at the picture shows animals stampeding, wood splintering and flying, clouds of dust, etc… which clearly indicates an utter lack of order and organization.  Most kids get it.  But when I’m reading, I usually ask them if they know what chaos means.  If they say no, I ask if they can guess from the story and pictures.  If they still can’t, then I explain it.  Any child who didn’t know the word has now been exposed to it.

As I said, you don’t want too many unfamiliar words in one picture book.  A handful is okay.  After that it’s possible that you’re writing at too high a level to be comfortable for this age.  But I am firmly of the opinion that as a writer you should not talk down to children, and that you should introduce appropriate new vocabulary.  As you mentioned, it is an opportunity for learning.

I hope that answers your question, at least partially!  If not, please ask for clarification in the comments!  And I also hope that all our talented readers who have knowledge and experience in this area will chime in with their thoughts.

Have a great day, everyone, and please forgive me if I am a bad commenter today.  I will try my best to catch up when I get home.  I will be reading, probably at the end of the day, but I cannot for the life of me figure out how to comment off my phone and besides those letters are so tiny! 🙂

Would You Read It Wednesday – The 41st Pitch, and Straight From The Editor #7

Well, MY GOODNESS!  Apparently I am a glutton for punishment!

Have you read the entries in the Birthday Contest?  (If you haven’t, you should,  They’re really amazing!  So much creativity!)

But they’re all so good!  And somehow my assistant judge and I have to choose finalists!  We certainly have our work cut out for us.  (Thank goodness we have a very large tray of donuts!)

The contest is now closed, but never fear.  The finalists will be posted on Monday May 28 and I hope you will all come back and vote!

Meanwhile, we have Straight From The Editor, where everybody’s favorite editor, Erin Molta, comments on the winning pitch from last month.

You will recall that Rebecca won April’s Pitch Pick with her pitch for Broomstick Rodeo:

Working Title:  Broomstick Rodeo
Age/Genre:  Picture Book (4-7)
The Pitch:  The Thistlegulch Sisters have thirteen trophies between them and they’re determined to win another. They practice for the rodeo until they’re chapped under their chaps and have calluses on their warts. But when a buckin’ broomstick charges towards their youngest sister, Myrna, they realize there are more important things in life than winning trophies.

Here are Erin’s comments, so that we can all learn!

This sounds like it could be very cute! But I think the pitch would work better if, rather than saying how hard they practiced, you mentioned what they neglected because they wanted to win so badly—like perhaps Myrna. That way it makes sense that suddenly they would care about Myrna.

Interesting.  And encouraging, I think 🙂

Now then, I’m in the mood for some of those lovely cider donuts today.  How about you?

Would you like one (or three?)  Help yourselves!  There’s coffee and tea, too.

Then get comfy for today’s pitch which comes to us from our very own Banana Peelin’ Elizabeth!

Elizabeth Stevens Omlor loves slipping on banana peels. She has at least one slip a day, physically or verbally. She loves writing for children, although she has recently discovered she is a delusional rhymer. When she isn’t writing for children, you can find her having a kitchen dance party with her husband and two young children or drinking a large glass of milk. She loves milk. Yum.  Especially when it’s in chocolate. She blogs about all of this on Banana Peelin’: The Ups and Downs of Becoming a Children’s Writer.

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Magnificent
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch:  When the synchronized swimming Savanna Belles lose their watering hole to drought, the troop of elephant calves decide ballet is the perfect way to make them feel magnificent once again. Facing the challenges of trunk-tickling ants, loss of weightlessness, and the scarcity of tutus, can the girls tame the doubtful roars, hisses and cackles of the their wild friends, proving that they really can be magnificent ballerinas? Follow the tutued journey of these silly mammals as they sashay, leap and plié their way into even the wildest of hearts.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Elizabeth improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in August, so you have time to polish 🙂 for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Elizabeth is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!

See you all on Friday for Perfect Picture Books (assuming I haven’t run off to Outer Mongolia to avoid having to pick finalists in the contest! :))


Straight From The Editor! #7 and Oh Susanna – Board Book Length? and Resubmission To Publishers?

Greetings from the old folks’ home where some of us are a year older than we were last week 🙂

(That makes us 27 if anyone is counting… :))

My truly heartfelt thanks to all of you who took time out of your weekend to send me birthday wishes and read Eric’s Happy Birthday Author post – you are all the BEST and I feel so lucky and grateful to be part of such a wonderful group of people!  Thank you, thank you, so very much!!!

Now (lest I become overly sentimental :)) we’d best move right ahead to Straight From The Editor!

You will recall Miranda’s winning pitch:

Working Title:  Reef Stew
Age/Genre:  Rhyming Picture Book ages 4-8
The Pitch:  When a shipwreck destroys their reef, the shellfish grow selfish and every creature’s a crab.  Can Whale stir up happiness with a single piece of stony coral?  Filled with slurps, burps, and spicy sargassum, this quirky version of a classic tale will send ripples of laughter through any school of young guppies.

Here is editor Erin Molta’s comment:

I actually don’t have anything to say about this except for one thing: What you have written is lyrical and inviting and gets the point across, but if you’re pitching a rhyming picture book then it would be great to show some rhyme  — something to give an editor an idea of how you rhyme. Rhyming is not looked upon favorably, so either don’t tell them it’s rhyming because that might turn them off unnecessarily or show them example of how you rhyme.

Pretty interesting, don’t you think?  Looks like y’all picked the right winner 🙂 and I thought Erin’s comment about the rhyme was intriguing.  I hope we all learned something!

Moving right along, let’s jump on into Oh Susanna.  Today I’m actually going to answer two questions because they’re pretty short.

First, Laura asked, “In regard to Children’s Board Books –  Is there a magical number of pages required?  A minimum or maximum number (i.e. 32 pages for picture books)?” 

My answer to this question is that it depends on the publishing house/line you are writing for.  Board books have fewer spreads than picture books, as a general rule – they will not be 32 pages.  But I have seen them anywhere from 6 or 8 pages up to about 20.  So go to your local library or bookstore and look at a selection of board books.  Count the spreads/pages and make yourself a chart – for example, Little Simon’s board books tend to be about 8 spreads/16 pages.  This will help you on two levels: one, you will end up with a list of publishers who publish board books (many of them do not so it’s important to know who does), and two, you will have a good idea of the length each publisher/imprint leans toward so you can appropriately target your manuscript.

Second, Kirsten asked, “Can you ever approach a publisher more than once with the same piece. For example, if Publisher A rejects the piece, can you resubmit the same piece to Publisher A after you’ve made substantial rewrites and a substantial period of time has elapsed? Or is it “one strike and you’re out” for each manuscript?

Hmmm…. this is a bit tricky.  I would say “one strike you’re out” as a general rule.  If you’ve submitted and your manuscript has been read and passed on (that’s the euphemism for rejected :)), your work there (with that particular MS) is done and it’s time to move on to another publisher.

The exceptions to this rule would be:

1.  You submitted to Editor A at Publishing House A.  After some time and substantial rewrites that make your MS much stronger, Editor A leaves Publishing House A and is replaced by new Editor B who has never seen your MS.  If you still feel Publishing House A is a great fit for your book, you could try Editor B.  (This is not the same as resubmitting your MS to another editor in the same house.  Presumably you selected Editor A because s/he was involved with the imprint most suited to your work, so you wouldn’t resubmit to editors of other less well-suited imprints of the house just to get another editor’s eyes on your MS.  For example, you submit to the editor at Little Simon.  If she turns you down you wouldn’t turn around and resubmit to another editor at Little Simon or to an editor at Beach Lane (another S&S children’s imprint.))

2.  When you submitted to Publishing House A, they rejected your MS but indicated interest, saying they would like to see it again if you change X, Y, and Z.  In that case you could make changes and resubmit as soon as you comfortably could.

That is what I think, Kirsten, but I would be very interested to hear what some of you other experienced writers think about this subject, so please share your wisdom with all of us in the comments!

Kirsten or Laura, if you have follow up questions or anything I said wasn’t clear, please pursue it in the comments!!

Finally, in Phyllis Tour Update News, I’d like to point you all toward Kathy’s brand new blog where Phyllis visited Vermont, and Julie’s blog which posts about Phyllis’s visit to Colorado!  Please stop by when you have a second and share the love 🙂

Also, Phyllis took the liberty of posting a picture of her Kiwi Bird friend on Face Book (he arrived on Blueberry Hill all the way from New Zealand courtesy of Diane!) and Donna, being an alert sort even at the crack of dawn on a Sunday morning, immediately suggested we have a contest to decide on a name for the bird.  You all know how I can’t resist a contest, so later today (or at some point when I get around to it) when I have had my coffee and we are all feeling as alert as Donna, I will post the contest on Phyllis’s FB page and everyone can put in their 2 cents 🙂  You may put your two cents here in the comments as to what you’d like the prize for the winner to be!

Now, I’m pretty sure I’m forgetting something (you see, this is what happens when advanced age sets in :)) but since I can’t think what it is, off you all go to enjoy your Mondays.  Have a lovely day! 🙂

Perfect Picture Book Friday – The Quiltmaker’s Gift Plus Straight From The Editor #6

Boy has his week flown past!  It may have something to do with trying to keep up with a certain wanderlust groundhog who is cavorting about the globe in a way that suggests time has no meaning 🙂  But before we catch up with Phyllis, let’s relax for a moment with today’s Perfect Picture Book.

The Quiltmaker’s Gift
Written By: Jeff Brumbeau
Illustrated By: Gail de Marcken
Pfeifer-Hamilton Publishers, 2000, Fiction

Suitable For: ages 4-8 (publisher’s rec, but text-heavy so maybe preferable for older end or kids with a good attention span.)

Themes/Topics: generosity, greed, helping others

Opening: “There was once a quilt maker who kept a house in the blue misty mountains up high.  Even the oldest great, great grandfather could not recall a time when she was not up there, sewing away day after day.  Here and there and wherever the sun warmed the earth, it was said she made the prettiest quilts anyone had ever seen.”

Brief Synopsis:  A kind-hearted quilt maker makes the most beautiful quilts the world has ever seen, but rather than sell them she gives them away to the poor.  When a greedy king wants one, he must learn the joy of giving before he can hope to receive.

Links To Resources: The end papers of the book show numerous quilt patterns by picture and name, and the inside of the dust jacket has a fabulous illustration where kids (and grown-ups :)) can search for all the items given away by the king – the ultimate hidden picture!  Here is a Teacher’s Guide suitable for upper elementary.  And here is The Quiltmaker’s Gift Website which is full of great resources including puzzles and games, stories of generosity from around the globe, and many other things – even a book on how to make the quilts pictured.

Why I Like This Book:  Although this book got rather luke warm reviews, I love it, and my children all loved it.  It’s one of an increasingly rarer breed of picture book these days – the kind with more than 500-1000 words.  As such, it’s better suited to the older end of the picture book age group (or good listeners) and I love picture books that fall into that category.  The language is lyrical, the pictures are gorgeous and full of details, and the story has a nice message about what is really important in life.

For the complete list of books with resources, please visit Perfect Picture Books.

Next up is our latest Straight From The Editor with Erin Molta.

Here’s what Erin had to say:

This seems like it will be cute. Just a couple of minor suggestions.
(Original pitch): Three frolicking baby giraffes try to find a place to play on a hot and crowded savannah. They find it isn’t an easy task. They run into a troop of baboons, a dazzle of zebras, and a pride of lions. At last, they turn to the river, only to be confronted by hippopotami. Our giraffes find fun and friendship at the end of a long a grueling day.
Confronted indicates confrontational and doesn’t provide quite the right lead-in to, “Our giraffes finding fun and friendship . . .”  so you need to say something like, “Finally, the giraffes find fun and friendship. . .” or mention what it is that the giraffes did to change the hippos’ minds so that they are welcomed rather than confronted. It would also be cool if you added the group name for hippopotami (bloat, herd, pod?)

I hope everyone finds something helpful to take away!

Finally, I hope you’ve all been keeping up with that whirlwind Phyllis!  I can’t believe how wonderful all her hostesses have been so far!  They have been showing her SUCH a good time.  She is seeing the sights and learning all about the USA – geography, history, fashion 🙂 (yes, leave it to Phyllis to try to figure out how to wear her sombrero and her coonskin cap at the same time!)  If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out Phyllis’s World Tour on the tab above, as well as Kirsten‘s, Natalie’s FirstSecond and Third, Kelly‘s, and Hannah‘s posts detailing Phyllis’s visits to California, Texas, Florida, and Colorado!  They have all taken Phyllis to wonderful places, and been so creative, and posted such fantastic photos, I urge you all to take a look when you have a spare minute.  Phyllis also left for New Zealand and the UK this morning, and arrived in Missouri around noon.  It would seem the space-time continuum does not apply to her 🙂

Keep your eye on Phyllis’s World Tour tab which will be updated even when it’s not a posting day here, and tune in next week for more adventures.  Also, on Monday, instead of Oh Susanna, we will have a visit from the delightful Iza Trapani for our monthly interview which promises to be amazing!

PPBF bloggers, please add your post-specific links to the list below!  Have a great weekend everybody!

Straight From The Editor! #5 and Oh Susanna – How Do You Know When Your MS Is Ready?

Happy Monday, Everyone!  I hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

Mine was full of family, music, super bowl, and birthday cake 🙂  Not too shabby 🙂

I don’t know if you caught the half-time show, but I’ve got to say, Madonna is older than I am but looks way better.  (Also, there are those who say she sings better, but the jury’s still out on that one…:))  It may have something to do with the fact that she does dance workouts etc for about 17 hours a day whilst I sit at my computer exercising only my fingers and my passion for birthday cake 🙂  I think I need some legions of Roman soldiers to march around with… and maybe I should wear those thigh-high boots… wouldn’t they just be perfect for vacuuming and driving the kids to soccer?  I can just see myself hopping out of the car at the Cumby’s down on the corner to fill up on gas in that outfit… Or maybe strolling into Stop & Shop 🙂

google images – doesn’t that look exactly like me?

Anyhoo…

On to today’s news of interest!  First, we have Straight From The Editor.

You will recall Margaret’s pitch:

Working Title: Home Is Where The Bird Is
Age/Genre: PB
The Pitch:  Bird thought he found his perfect birdhouse – until he encountered the mouse living inside.  After a feather-raising experience house hunting on his own, Bird asks Mouse for help.  Mouse leads Bird on a hilarious tour of unconventional housing options.  As winter looms, will Bird accept anything but his perfect birdhouse?

Here are editor Erin Molta’s insightful comments:

It’s a cute premise. I would make it a tad more concise and add in some unconventional housing options. Perhaps something like this:

Bird found the perfect birdhouse, but Mouse lived inside. After a feather-raising house hunting experience, Bird asks Mouse for help. Mouse leads Bird on a tour of unconventional houses, such as XXXX and XXXX. Will Bird ever find a house that’s the perfect home for him?

I hope you all find this helpful and instructive! 🙂

Next, we have today’s Oh Susanna question!

Oh Susanna!


How long does it take for you to write a book?  What’s your process?  How many revisions?  How do you know when it’s right to submit?


Signed, 
I Don’t Know What I’m Doing

Dear I Don’t Know,

You ask excellent questions to which, I’m afraid, there is no specific or right answer 🙂  The long and the short of it is, the process varies from book to book.  (And in the following discussion, I’m sticking to picture books, since that is what I assume you’re referring to.)

But let’s see what I can tell you.  It takes me anywhere from a couple hours to a couple months to write a book, on average.  (This does not take into account the pre-writing time – the time where I’ve got part of the idea and it’s rolling around in my head but isn’t ready to be formulated into words.)

Once I’ve got enough of the idea formulated to start writing, I usually write out picture books in longhand.  I know – so last century – but there’s something about the physical act of writing, the flow of ink on the page, that facilitates my thinking.  So first drafts are most often pen and paper.

Once I’ve got a draft, I type it into the computer, and that is always the first revision.  The story never goes into the computer exactly as it’s written on the page.

The next part depends on the quality of what I’ve got at this point.  Every now and again (rarely!) I get it close to right the first time and the story doesn’t need too much revision.  But most times it needs quite a bit.  I ALWAYS come in at too high a word count, so there is always cutting to be done.   It takes a few tries to see how I can cut without losing my story – and in fact, hopefully, make it stronger.  Usually this part of the process helps me to make sure I’m actually telling the story I mean to be telling (or that I know exactly what my main theme, or the point of my story is.)  The number of revisions can vary from 1 to 20 or more.

When I’ve got it as good as I think I can make it, I PUT IT AWAY for at least a week or two.  This is a VERY important part of the process, because right when I first finish I always think this story is the best thing I’ve ever written and there’s likely to be a huge bidding war over it along with fierce fighting for movie rights 🙂  At this euphoric stage, my judgement is completely unreliable, and sending anything out in that frame of mind is a huge mistake… as I will realize when I take that story back out in a couple weeks… at which point I will wonder how I can have the unmitigated gall to call myself a writer at all and will seriously consider going to get a job at Stop & Shop bagging groceries!

Point being… always give your story a rest and then go back to it fresh.  You will usually see things you can make better.

As to when it’s ready to go out on submission, unfortunately there’s no exact answer.  Generally, you will have a gut feeling that it’s ready and there’s nothing more you can do that’s really going to improve it significantly.  (You can tweak forever, but there comes a point where you’re not really improving anything, you’re just messing around.)  But here are some things to ask yourself to see if you’re ready:  Have you told the story you want to tell?  Have you created a character we can care about, challenged him/her with something important and relevant, and resolved the problem in a satisfying way?  Is every word the best choice you can make for it?  Have you read it out loud to yourself, your toddler, your husband, your dog, and anyone else who will listen?  Have you had someone who has never seen it read it out loud to you?  (Often, especially with rhyme, this is crucial to make sure the story flows well.)  Have you had a couple beta readers or critique partners look it over?  Is the language lyrical, rhythmic, asking to be read over and over?  Does your story have re-readability (i.e. will a child want to hear it many times and will an adult be happy to oblige?)  Have you left half the job for the illustrator and given him/her plenty to work with?

If you have done all these things and feel that the story is the best you can make it, then it’s ready to go.  And sometimes the submission process itself will give you feedback.  20 form rejections in a row for the same story may mean it needs more work (or that you haven’t targeted your ms properly, but that’s a topic for another day!)  Rejections with any kind of personal feedback are a good sign and something you can learn from.  And of course, hopefully!, you will get an acceptance! 🙂

If you write a strong story that feels more like a one-time read (fun once, but unlikely to be asked for over and over) or that doesn’t have a lot of scope for illustration, you may have a magazine piece rather than a picture book.  That is great, too.  Not every story is strong enough for a picture book, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a good story.  So make sure you have a children’s magazine market list of some type so you can target those stories too.

I hope that answers your questions at least somewhat!  I hope our esteemed readers will also chime in with their answers to your questions!

Before going off to scrub the bathroom tile grout with a tooth brush whilst wearing my Madonna boots, I just want to remind everyone about the upcoming Valentines Day Contest!!!  If you haven’t heard of it yet, click here and scroll to the bottom!!!

See you Wednesday! 🙂