Holy Jack-O-Lanterns Batman!
Why didn’t anyone remind me that I forgot to post the Halloweensie Contest Rules on Monday???!!! Now we’ve got a gigantic post for today! So that’s it. No chitchat! We’re getting right down to business!
First things first. It’s Would You Read It Wednesday, so grab your Something Chocolate! Care to join me for some chocolate cheesecake?
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| Chocolate Cheesecake… YUM!!! Photo copyright Stacy Jensen 2012 used by permission |
You know, usually I can rationalize the chocolate into some form of acceptable breakfast, but this one eludes me. Just enjoy 🙂
Now then. Straight From The Editor for the September Pitch Pick, which you will recall was won by the lovely Elizabeth with her pitch for Buff The Magic Dragon.
Here are editor Erin Molta’s comments:
This is cute. I think it would work better if instead of saying “swallow his fear” you say, “overcome his fear”. Because when swallow is used it’s almost always about swallowing one’s pride and I think you’d rather have the connotation being strong. Then I think you might want to be a tad more specific about what fear he is overcoming. I know he’s afraid of everything but if he is to rescue Princess Ponypants(cute name!) from Captain Meanie Bones Jones, he’ll need to face that fear directly. So perhaps Buff must overcome his fear of . . . eight-legged purple sea monsters or his fear of water in order to do battle with the Captain . . .
I don’t know about you, but I always find Erin’s thoughts very helpful!
Moving right along, we have today’s pitch from Carrie who blogs over at Story Patch and who, if you’ve spent any time around here at all, you will recognize as the pitch doctor 🙂 She has an uncanny ability to take any pitch, keep what’s best, and fix what needs help. But it’s always a different matter when it comes to your own work, isn’t it? So today she’s asking for your help. Let’s see if she needs any 🙂
Working Title: Scooter Annie Braves The Hill
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: When Annie gets a new scooter, she can’t wait to ride. She loves swooping down her driveway and gliding along the sidewalk. But if Annie wants to ride in the neighborhood parade, she must find a way to conquer her fears and tackle the biggest hill in town.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
Are you ready?
What is that noise in the dark of night?
It’s coming closer…
…and closer…
*dramatic Hollywood scream* AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
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| courtesy google images |
The Contest: write a 100 word Halloween story appropriate for children (title not included in the 100 words), using the words witch, bat, and “trick-or-treat“. Your story can be scary, funny or anything in between, poetry or prose, but it will only count for the contest if it includes those 3 words and is 100 words (you can go under, but not over!) Get it? Halloweensie – because it’s not very long and it’s for little people 🙂
Post your story on your blog on Wednesday October 31 and link up here (and I’m really hoping we don’t get 2 feet of snow that knocks out the power and the internet this year!!!) If you don’t have a blog and would like to enter, you can simply copy and paste your entry in the comments section of the Wednesday October 31 official contest blog post that will go up here.
The Judge: my lovely assistant and I will narrow down the entrants to three (hee hee hee – you know how much trouble I have with only 3, so we’ll see) top choices which will be posted here and voted on for a winner.
The Prize: Okay. Seriously? I think this is a good prize 🙂 The winner will receive 5 (that’s FIVE!) brand new picture books personalized and signed by the authors! These 5 awesome books are: PUZZLED BY PINK by Sarah Frances Hardy, THE MONSTER WHO LOST HIS MEAN by Tiffany Strelitz Haber, THE THREE NINJA PIGS by Corey Rosen Schwartz, MARATHON MOUSE by Amy Dixon, and FLAP! by Alison Hertz. Great to keep for your own collection or to give to little ones in your life as holiday gifts 🙂
Doesn’t that sound like fun? Last year this was the very first writing contest I ever had on my blog, and I think we got 8 entries. I’m really really hoping we get lots more this year – it’s fun, it’s not too long (one might even call it short and sweet :)), it has to do with Halloween, which makes you think of candy, which is pretty much synonymous with chocolate… – so really, what could be better? 🙂
So get those thinking caps on – you’ve got a whole week to come up with a 100 word kids’ Halloween story! (and I’ve already given your three of the words 🙂 witch, bat, and “trick-or-treat“) – and, since I went and distracted you with the contest, everyone please remember to leave your thoughts on Carrie’s pitch!
Have a lovely Wednesday, my friends 🙂
Susanna Leonard Hill 
Thank you, Larissa. I'm glad the story appeals to you.
Thanks for stopping by, Delores. I appreciate your comments.
Thanks, Julie. You are right on the money with that comment. It does give away too much (which makes me sad because I do like it. Sigh…)
I would read it! I like how the pitch is laid out. It sounds like you will have a good book! 🙂 Although, I agree with Ms. Hedlund, I think your title is a little revealing.
Ms. Hill, I would like to join the contest. 🙂
I see a Halloween rhyme in my future!
For the scooter story, I'm curious if there needs to be more incentive than just being in the parade – like riding with her brother or winning a scooter scholarship (okay I'm coming up blank on what it would be…)
Thanks for your comments for Carrie, Lauri! And I'm so excited you're thinking of entering the Halloweensie Contest! 🙂 Loved your Summer Send Off entry 🙂
Thanks for your comments for Ms. Finison, Erik! And YAY! I'm so glad you want to enter the contest! My thinking cap is on for my sample entry, but no good ideas have bubbled up yet!
Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment for Carrie, Julie! A good point! And I hope maybe your October 12×12 ms could be inspired by the Halloween Contest – we'd all love to have you join in the fun 🙂 OH! Which reminds me! What is the collective noun for bats? I'd better ask that somewhere else in case you don't see this…!
Susanna…I meant to mention that “Sacajawea of the Shoshone” came yesterday…Hooray! Thank you so much…it is a really lovely book. 🙂 And autographed!!!
Thanks, Delores! I'm pretty sure there would be a way to write about overcoming fears… for Halloween… with a witch, a bat, and “trick-or-treat”… 🙂
Thanks so much for your helpful comments for Carrie, Larissa! And I hope you'll conducer joining in the contest – it's going to be fun! 🙂
What! More than chocolate pie? That is high praise indeed! I'm sure you've made Carrie's day! 🙂
I'm glad it arrived safely! And yes! I told you it was signed! (Although unfortunately not personalized 😦 ) I really liked the side bar information. And that gorgeous picture of the paint horse 🙂
Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments for Carrie, Julie! And glad you found Erin's comments helpful. As for chocolate cheesecake (well, I should whisper this so lean in a little closer… when it comes to cheesecake, I AM actually a purist. I really only like it plain – no chocolate, no berries, especially no pineapple! But it still looks delicious in the picture :))
Thanks for your ideas, Lauri!
Thanks for stopping by Erik, and for your opinion. It's so helpful to hear your comments.
It's a yes from me Carrie. I think your pitch works, but I like Lauri's comment about upping the stakes. Then again maybe you feel a more relaxed pitch suits the story better. If you want to increase the intensity here's a sample…
“Scooter Annie loves swooping
down her driveway and gliding along the sidewalk. She doesn't even hesitate at the top of Big Hill. But a bump in the road turns Annie's world upside down. Now if Annie wants to
ride in the neighborhood parade, she must conquer her
fear of falling while falling in love with scooter-ing all over again.”
Okay, I went over the top with this one. Thanks for humoring me.
Thank you for your very thoughtful comment for Carrie, Hannah!
Yes! The pitch gives a great sense of the internal struggle Annie will have to go through to ride in the parade. I do agree with Julie about the title, if the story is about her trying to find the courage to ride the title shouldn't reveal the answer. Good luck!
I'm late to the party, so I agree with many about the title revealing too much. Hmm. Only 97 words to go ….
Thanks so much for hosting the contest. I've been through some scary times lately so may bow out but again it sounds like so much fun! 🙂 Had a thought this morning. But then it vanished. 🙂
scary, huh?
Thanks for weighing in, Hannah. 🙂
Hi Heather! Thanks for your feedback. I will def. be changing the title.
Thanks, Stacy!
To begin, I need that recipe for my birthday! Gotta have it! Must have it! Next, I am excited about the contest and hope I through with my stuff so I can have some real fun with this contest. You know, I'm kinda excited about it, really! Now, I'd certainly read this book! This pitch is really tight! I love the fact that it's a girl being so daring. I don't have anything to add to the great advice that's been given already. Best of luck to you, Carrie.
Clearly I'm going to have to get all these recipes from Stacy! 🙂 Thanks so much for you comments for Carrie, Pam, and I'm so excited you want to try the contest! Yippee! 🙂
Thanks for your help, Heather! 🙂
97 words and 6 whole days… 🙂 Can't wait to read your entry 🙂 P.S. Everyone wants the recipe for your chocolate cheesecake!
Sorry about your awful week, Clar. Maybe a little contest story would help get your mind off your troubles…!
Tut Tut. Susanna, what did I say about the pics of yummy looking desserts being at the top of the post? How am I expected to concentrate on the rest of the post when all I can think about is the dessert. 😀
Based on Erin's feedback of the dragon logline, I'd say Carrie should mention what Annie's fear is.
Thanks for your comments for Carrie, Stina. And as for the yummy cake, I was hoping to lure you into a sugar stupor so you might consider entering the Halloweensie Contest 🙂
Here's the recipe. I wasn't a total fan of the crust (some tasters liked it and others didn't), but the cheesecake was a winner. http://www.lynnskitchenadventures.com/2012/07/no-bake-chocolate-cheesecake-with-a-gluten-free-crust.html
Loved Erin's comments. Food for thought. Hmmm. Perhaps chocolate food for thought!
Loved Carrie's pitch. Parades are such fun for kids. Always exciting. “…she must find a way to conquer her fears and tackle the biggest hill in town.” I would consider taking out 'conquer her fears' and just say, 'she must find a way to tackle the biggest hill in town.' Every kid knows what that means.
Thanks, Stacy 🙂
Glad you found Erin's comments helpful, Sharron, and thanks for your thoughts for Carrie!
As part of my Hurricane prep, I'm going to go ahead and leave the address here http://www.laurimeyers.com. I scheduled the post to go up, just in case I am busy cooking hot dogs over an open fire on Wednesday…
better late than never, but yes, I think I would read the book. One question I had, though, was whether a problem happened when Annie was riding or whether the hill is just so, so steep.
The contest looks awesome, Susanna. Sure hope the power doesn't desert me & that words flow as fast as the rain water down my hill….hmmm, how to fit an ark in there someplace, too…
Stay warm & dry everyone!
Thanks for your comments for Carrie, Patricia, and I hope you'll enter the contest! I may extend the timing if there's a lot of trouble posting because of power. And I still haven't finished my sample 🙂
I hope you are safe from Sandy and didn't get hit too hard! Here are some virtual marshmallows to roast for dessert just in case! Looking forward to your story! Mine is dreadful 🙂