Hello, Everyone, and welcome to another exciting installment of Would You Read It Wednesday!
We’ve missed a couple weeks for Halloweensie, so it will be good to get back to our regularly scheduled programming!
First off, today (while you’re all warmed up from voting for Halloweensie winners) we have the September Pitch Pick.
Our pitchers, committed to making their pitches the best they can be, have reworked their original versions to reflect the helpful feedback you were all kind and thoughtful enough to provide. So here are the new, updated pitches for you to vote on:
#1 Erin – Airport Goat (PB 3-8)
Under the zooming planes is a herd of goats munching the lawn day after day, but one goat is tired of grass, grass, grass. He follows his nose to the land of concrete in search of exciting things to eat. The luggage is leathery. The sanitation truck is less appealing. But then he gets a whiff of something new. His search creates chaos and sets airport security on a chase, but deep inside the airport is the most delectable discovery: the food court. THE AIRPORT GOAT is a cross between humorous animal stories like DUCK ON A BIKE and airport transportation books like THE AIRPORT BOOK for kids ages 3-8.
#2 – Kim – P.I. Goat: The Case of the Missing Bone (PB ages 4-8)
P.I. Goat has just opened his private investigator office when Puddles, a puppy, hires him to find Paw-Paw’s bone. Elderly Paw-Paw thinks Goat is a pig, but Goat has a worse problem: he faints when startled! A cast of wacky animals helps Goat discover the surprising truth behind the Case of the Missing Bone and that being a P.I. is not for the faint of heart—KLUNK!
#3 – Marcia – Isaac’s Apple Tree (PB ages 4-8; Informational Fiction (includes Author’s Note)
I dropped that apple—the one that helped Isaac Newton discover gravity. I am Isaac’s Apple Tree, and I have a story for you—one that begins with that apple-drop and goes all the way to the International Space Station and back. That’s where my seeds (pips, people, pips!) floated in zero gravity, then came back to Earth where they grew into six beautiful saplings—my space children. At almost 400 years old, my amazing story spans centuries and continents—and space itself!
Once you’ve had a chance to read through and evaluate the three September pitches above, please vote for your favorite – the one you feel most deserves a read and comments from editor Erin Molta, and vote for it in the poll below by Sunday November 17 at 9PM Eastern.
Thank you!
Wow! Nothing like voting to work up an appetite! And you know what that means… 🙂 Time for Something Chocolate!
I think today would be a great day for Chocolate Blackout Cupcakes, but then again, is there ever a bad day for those? 🙂
Okay! Onward and upward! Today’s pitch comes to us from Lynne who says, “I’m an avid reader who is working to push through the fears of coming out of the writer’s closet! Growing up overseas in the 60s and 70s nurtured my love to escape into imaginary and other worlds with books. My daughter’s struggle with dyslexia in elementary school made me realize the importance of great children’s books to keep her engaging in her battle to overcome her reading disability and develop a love to read. She won:)”
Find her on the web at
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: Samantha’s Swimsuit
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 3-7)
The Pitch: Samantha is a girl who knows what she wants when it comes to fashion. When she was imagining the absolutely dreamy suit for summer swim lessons, Samantha forgot about one. Little. Detail. It would get wet. What if water ruins her perfect swimsuit?!? Now Samantha must decide if she is relegated to the lounge chairs (safely outside of the splash zone!) or if she takes a chance in the pool!
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Lynne improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above. There are openings in January, so you have time to polish your pitch before putting it up for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta! But no harm in reserving your spot. . . they tend to go like hotcakes!
Lynne is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to seeing this little guy . . .
. . . okay, full disclosure, he doesn’t look exactly like that anymore – more like this
but you know how moms are 🙂
Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!! 🙂
Oh, and by the way! I will do my best to post the Halloweensie Winners ASAP, but I’m going to have to be doing it while getting myself to the airport and onto a plane, so I apologize in advance if it takes me some extra time! Have an extra Chocolate Blackout Cupcake while you’re waiting! 🙂
Woo hoo! Woo hoo!
Time for something new.
Woo hoo! Woo hoo!
Tuesday Debut!
How’s that for a theme song?
It doesn’t have a tune yet . . . but that’s just a minor detail 🙂
Here on Blueberry Hill the weather forecast is less than optimal. Rain, snow, ice and other cr** . . . er, precipitation threatens to make going outside something to avoid unless you have a very good reason to want to fall down your mudroom stairs and introduce your hindquarters to the driveway, so today’s debut picture book is perfect! It will carry us away to the island paradise of Hawai’i!
Ho’onani: Hula Warrior
written by Heather Gale
illustrated by Mika Song
Tundra Books
October 1, 2019
Nonfiction, Ages 4 – 9
An empowering celebration of identity, acceptance and Hawaiian culture based on the true story of a young girl in Hawai’i who dreams of leading the boys-only hula troupe at her school.
SUSANNA: Welcome, Heather! Thank you so much for joining us today! Where did the idea for this book come from?
HEATHER: This story came after watching the PBS documentary A Place in the Middle, but it took a while for me to consider it as even a possible picture book.
I had used the documentary to help wind down after a day of research for that next picture book idea. Yet while watching Ho’onani and Kumu Hina face their struggles I was transfixed, swept along with the story and the power of emotions it evoked. When Ho’onani turned to face her community, I held my breath as if I were amongst the awed silence of the crowd. And when Ho’onani opened her mouth to begin the chant usually reserved for males, I whooped it up, both proud and relieved she had pulled off her biggest challenge.
The next day I could not stop thinking about each character in the documentary.
I watched and re-watched A Place in the Middle, never getting tired of feeling those same emotions. When this happens, I think you have no choice but to write the story. It’s under your skin and won’t let go until you do.
SUSANNA: How long did it take you to write this book?
HEATHER: Initially I’d promised the producers, Dean Hamer and Joe Wilson, a no-commitment rough draft within 6 weeks. But it helped that by the time we’d met, I already knew where the story would start and where it should end. I’d never written and researched so hard in my life to meet that deadline, but it worked. They got their first draft and I got their green light to carry on.
After that the revisions took almost a year.
My best advice to anyone is to not start a story until you know those two key moments. They’ll keep you going when the writing process gets rough.
SUSANNA: Did you go through many revisions?
HEATHER: I must have gone through at least 150 revisions and this is the time to ask for help from your critique partners and writing buddies. Listen to their comments and suggestions and if more than one person is saying the same, you know you have to go back.
As you learn the mechanics behind a story, you’ll also discover your own revision process, and which ones are your favorites.
Mine are adding emotion and deleting.
I may already have one or two emotions in a draft, but there comes a point when the story needs a whole lot more. Thankfully, at this stage of the manuscript you’ll know your character inside and out, so this part is fun.
As I read scene by scene, I imagine my character’s face and gut reactions to the situation. I’ll jot them down and return for a more serious edit.
After emotions are added my next favorite is deleting.
Distilling a draft to 1000 special words is a challenge.
Every word matters.
Every sentence should feel unique.
Every paragraph has the potential to build a scene.
Like decluttering a room, there’s a sense of lightness with deleting which makes a story even better.
I start with spacing out the sentences. This gives me some working room (aka thinking or doodling space).
Then line by line, I’ll check the timing of events. I’ll ask myself does this follow and is it logical?
Then I check the sentence itself, looking at the structure.
Have you noticed sometimes when you split the sentence in half then swap their order it’s so much stronger? Or move one word to the end and you’ve got a WOW sentence.
Next, I look at each word in the sentence.
And here’s where my thesaurus is used to check each word conveys the best meaning I intended.
Perhaps there’s a better word with a deeper meaning. Or, the word is perfect, but in that sentence, it’s a tongue-twister.
And then I like to use words that surprise the reader and are easy or fun to say out loud.
If, after doing all this, the paragraph adds no story value, it qualifies for a total strike-through.
It’s hard to explain but when there’s a line through all that hard work, the story often pops through the noise and clutter.
SUSANNA: When did you know your manuscript was ready for submission?
HEATHER: I’m slowly learning when my manuscripts are almost ready for submission.
I always read my manuscript out loud to our two dogs (because my two kids are grown up now). This is an incredible way to discover those fancy words you found in thesaurus don’t quite work when placed together.
I’m lucky to have two work buddies, Molly and Cooper who are best friends. They love daily hikes in Toronto’s ravines, their daycare, and swimming beside me as I kayak.
I check off any sentences where my brain did a ‘huh?’ and question any gaps in the timing of events.
On another round I’ll hunt for emotions in the scenes. I want to walk in that person’s shoes, feel their frustrations and their achievements, get goosebumps and a lump in my throat.
Then, my best tool is the pitch.
Because my working pitches seem to always start off 4-6 sentences long, until I‘ve got one that’s whittled down to one or two sentences, I know the manuscript is not ready.
I tweak and hone that pitch every 3-4 revisions.
Once everything is as close as I can get it , I save my work in a folder, stash it away, put the timer on and wait two weeks.
And . . . tah-dah! This is when you’ll know if your story is ready to submit.
With fresh eyes I’ll read my story out loud, looking for all the same things as before. I want to laugh, to tear up, have the words swimming in front of me.
I want the story to unfold, unrushed yet not too wordy.
And when that happens there’s no way to describe the feeling except you know you’ve given your story the best possible chance.
Your manuscript is ready to face the big wide world.
I have two workspaces that inspire my writing process.
Here’s my view from the cottage:
SUSANNA: That is inspiring all right! But I’m not sure I’d get much work done with a view like that!!! 🙂 When and how did you submit?
HEATHER: I’d submitted this story to one agent while seeking representation and then to a publishing house through an earlier conference connection.
Both times Ho’onani: Hula Warrior was turned down but coming up was our annual Pack Your Imagination conference hosted by CANSCAIP in Toronto.
We have an opportunity to skip the line with Canadian publishing houses which is a fantastic opportunity. I decided to hold this manuscript back from further submissions because I had to know what was wrong with this story!
SUSANNA: When did you get “the call”? (Best moment ever! 🙂 )
HEATHER: I was the last person slated to meet Lynne Missen, the Publishing Director for Penguin Young Readers at the CANSCAIP conference. You can take being last as good news, bad news, or part of the lucky draw so as I sat and waited. I’ll admit, I was nervous.
And then it was my turn.
As I listened, waiting for the, ‘here’s why your story isn’t working,’ I struggled to understand why Lynne was smiling.
Lynne must have repeated it three or four times before her words and their meaning sank in – they loved my story!
We got to work right there, going through the manuscript, tweaking areas, discussing ideas and my 15-minute slot turned into the best 30 minutes I could’ve ever imagined . . . working on a story that my heart was so vested in.
SUSANNA: How did you celebrate signing your contract?
HEATHER: We popped a bottle of bubbles and had a barbeque with my hubby, kids and dogs.
SUSANNA: Was the contract what you expected in terms of advance, royalty percentage, publication timeline, author copies etc.?
HEATHER: The contract was just what I expected, an advance, followed by a percentage in royalties and for me, the best gift ever – 10 author copies! (I’m one of 6 kids so my siblings all got a dedicated and signed copy.)
SUSANNA: What can you tell us about the editorial process?
HEATHER: Samantha Swenson is such a gifted editor who, through some word tweaks made the story pop, and that’s when I saw the potential they’d seen all along.
SUSANNA: How about your experience of the illustration process?
HEATHER: I was so lucky with having Mika as my illustrator.
From the beginning I saw all her sketches, and my thoughts and ideas were sought out while any questions I had were explained. Mika captured each child in the documentary at the right moment while Kumu Hina looked the same yet different as she too experienced her emotions.
I had one illustration note in the story at the end and that was only because Ho’onani’s sister is not mentioned in the text.
Here’s what I wrote:
One person stood.
[illo: Kana smiles]
and here’s how that illustration turned out!
SUSANNA: Did you get to see advance reviews from Kirkus, SLJ, etc? What was that like?
HEATHER: I saw a mix of advance reviews while others were sent to me soon after being released.
I think the best part about reading a review is, you get to see how the rest of the world views your story.
I’ve learnt so much about Mika’s illustrations from reading reviews.
For example, one review commented on Mika’s technique as a way to convey information to children.
“Boldly outlined watercolor and ink artwork by Song (A Friend for Henry) conveys visual information with strength that suggests Ho‘onani’s own.”
And then I read, “Watercolor and thick, angular black lines against a combination of white, open spaces, and blue or tan backgrounds elevate and emphasize Ho’onani as the central character within each spread.
As well, the use of bold colors at times helps some characters become more noticeable in crowd scenes.”
And here’s another wonderful comment on Mika’s illustrations: “The boys filing past in the background, and the empty pair of flip-flops left in the hallway, are pale and weak in comparison to Ho’onani’s profound sense of self as a hula warrior.”
E. Schneider at Imaginary Elevators https://imaginaryelevators.blog/2019/09/03/she-is-who-she-is/
With each of these reviews I went back to my copy and noticed the same.
SUSANNA: How long did it take from offer to having the first copy in your hand?
HEATHER: The process from signing the contract to a first copy was almost two years. That sounds like a long time, but it wasn’t. We were always moving forward with the next steps.
SUSANNA: What kind of marketing and promotion has your publisher done for this book?
HEATHER: Tundra Books has gone above and beyond in their efforts to get this book noticed by various communities.
From trade reviews to tradeshows, to advertising to promotions, Ho’onani: Hula Warrior has been included or is their featured title.
SUSANNA: Describe any marketing/promotion you did for this book.
HEATHER: I’ve reached out to picture book bloggers I know and asked for any opportunity to be a guest post or have the book reviewed.
I’ve also figured out Twitter and become more involved.
And I plan on doing school and library visits – my first is in NZ!
SUSANNA: Wow! NZ?! That is AMAZING! How long was it between the time you started writing seriously and the time you sold your first picture book? HEATHER: The whole process took me six years along with a lot of online and class courses, some conferences and then just hours in the chair, practicing and honing the craft.
I actually started my serious writing with a psychological thriller which I wrote one year during NANOWRIMO (National November Writing Month). And, I still like that story and maybe one day I’ll get to revise it.
SUSANNA: Anything else you’d like to share about your book’s journey from inspiration to publication? HEATHER: This book has taught me a lot about the industry and I’m in awe. We have so many dedicated, passionate professionals who work with picture books and once a manuscript is sold, there’s still so much more that happens behind the scenes before it reaches the shelves.
SUSANNA: Heather, thank you so much for taking the time to participate in this series and paying it forward to other writers! We so appreciate all your insights, and the helpful information you shared about your writing process! Wishing you the very best of success with this and future books!!!
A plot, one might say, involving sneaking, secrecy, and skulduggery!
I know what you’ve have been up to.
On a dark and stormy night, you all got together in a cobweb-covered barn and, sipping a delectable steaming potion concocted of chocolate and cream, with bobbing marshmallows and a dusting of cocoa powder, you rubbed your hands together gleefully and cackled, “Oh, what a trick we can play!”
Forthwith, you applied yourself to submitting 324 – yes, that’s THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FOUR!!! – amazing entries to the 9th Annual Halloweensie Contest!
I think it’s safe to say you nearly did us in.
We are but shadows of our former selves, haggard from a solid week of reading and re-reading, evaluating and re-evaluating, trying desperately to narrow the tremendous field down to 12 finalists.
I’m going to tell you straight out it was an impossible task.
There were SO MANY well-written, fabulous, entertaining, delightful entries. In order to pick 12 for you to vote on we had to put aside literally hundreds, many of which were of equal quality. So I recognize that many of you may feel you would have chosen differently. I get that. In the final analysis, try as we might to be objective, an element of subjectivity almost has to come in to play in order to choose between multiple entries of similar quality. Please know we admire everyone for their talent, throughly enjoyed every story we read, and that we did the best we could.
12 entries made the finals.
312 did not.
A mere 3.7% made it to the top. If you’re in that 3.7%, give yourself a congratulatory handshake. If you’re not, rest assured you’re in extremely good company.
We were ruthless about some things because we simply had to be.
The judging criteria were clear:
1. Kid-appeal! – These stories are intended for a young audience, so entries that were well-written but lacked child-friendliness did not make the cut. Same for entries where the appeal, humorous or otherwise, seemed more directed toward adult readers than children.
2. Halloweeniness – the rules stated a Halloween story, so entries that failed to mention anything Halloween-y did not make the cut even if they were well-written. Surprisingly 5-10 fell into this category and were stories that could have taken place at any time – not specifically Halloween.
3. Quality of story – the rules stated that entries were to tell a story, so if they appeared to be more of a description or mood piece, they didn’t make the cut. We looked for a character and a true story arc.
4. Quality of Writing: we took note of spelling, grammar, punctuation etc. In addition, for the rhymers, we looked at rhyme and meter (for which we are sticklers!) We also looked at overall writing quality and use of language. There were a lot of problems in this department, and since the competition was so fierce, we did cut people for punctuation, capitalization, and word usage errors, as well as for relatively minor glitches in meter – one or two lines that threw the rhythm off – because there were so many that were perfect.
5. Originality and creativity – because that is often what sets one story above another.
A surprising number of this year’s entries were amazingly written… but in spite of the warning, still failed to really tell a story. This is SO TOUGH in 100 words – I totally get it. But some people managed better than others. There were any number of entries that were superbly written that we wanted to choose, but when we got right down to it, there really just wasn’t much story… not compared to some of the other entries that really managed to tell one. They were more descriptions, lists, or mood pieces. So as awesome as they were, we had to make some very hard calls. A couple were too adult. Some, because of the cruelly limiting word count were a little hard to follow. Some of the rhyming ones we really liked were too off-meter to make the cut. Some entries were just so close, but missed out because of one relatively small thing! GAH! So hard!
(There is nothing like reading through so many to give you an editor’s perspective. Read through 300+ stories and you’ll quickly see how there can be A LOT that are really quite good, so there has to be something to make them stand out. Something that sets them apart from the ocean of very-strong-nothing-particularly-wrong-with-them-but-nothing-that-makes-you-say-WOW submissions. It will make you realize exactly how important it is to make your manuscript fresh and heart -or mind-capturing in some way. You want yours to be the submission the editor (or contest judge) can’t stop thinking about.😊)
So now, just quick before we get to the finalists, I want to thank EVERYONE who took the time and care to write an entry for this contest. You all did a fabulous job and provided great enjoyment for many!
Second, I’d also like to thank EVERYONE – writer, reader, or both – who took the time to go around and read as many entries as you could and leave supportive comments. This means so much to the writers who worked hard on their stories. It helps them see what they did well, as well as giving them the joy of knowing that their stories were read and enjoyed. I hope you all got as much delight and entertainment out of the reading as I did! Plus, we got to meet quite a few new people which was a wonderful added bonus! 🙂
Third, before I list the finalists, I want to say one final time how truly difficult it was too narrow such a field! There were so many amazing entries. Really. I could find at least something terrific about every single one. The sheer volume of entries meant that many good ones had to be cut. So if yours didn’t make the final cut please don’t feel bad. The fact that you didn’t make the final cut DOES NOT mean you didn’t write a great story. Everyone who plonked their butt in a chair and worked hard to write a story for this contest is a winner! You showed up. You did your best work. You practiced your craft. You wrote to specifications and a deadline. You bravely shared your writing with the world. And you have a brand new story that is now yours to expand beyond 100 words if you like and maybe submit at some point to a magazine or as a PB manuscript. A lot of people have successfully done that at this point – we have quite a few books in the world that were born or had new life breathed into them in Halloweensie, Holiday, or Valentiny Contests! So bravo to everyone who entered!
So, without further ado, I present to you the 2019 Halloweensie Contest Finalists. A mix of poetry and prose (weirdly weighted toward rhyme – just the way it panned out), stories for younger readers and slightly older (but still kid) readers, funny, spooky, and cute. Please read through them carefully, take your time, think it over, and vote for your favorite. To help with objectivity, finalists are listed by title only, not by author.
And I’d like to be very clear about the voting process. You are MOST welcome to share a link to this post on FB, twitter, or wherever you like to hang out, and encourage people to come read ALL the finalists and vote for the one they think is best. Please do that. The more people who read and enjoy these stories the better, and the more objective votes we get the better. HOWEVER (and I want to be very clear on this) please do not ask people to vote for a specific number or title, or for the story about the sombrero-wearing witch or whatever. Trolling for votes or trying to influence the outcome is counter to the spirit of this competition which is supposed to be based on merit. I thank you in advance for respecting this.
So here we go!
#1 – Sneaky Sister
My sister swore her potion
Was succulently sweet.
She whispered if I’d drink it, I’d grow feathers on my feet.
My skin would glow magenta,
My ears would multiply,
The cobwebs sprouting from my nose would smell like mildew pie.
My sister said “Don’t worry,
There’s not a thing to fear!
Tomorrow all the side effects will (mostly) disappear…
You’ll be the perfect monster
For this year’s trick-or-treat!
Just guzzle my concoction, and you’ll terrify our street.”
But now she’s flabbergasted
Because I’m feeling fine.
I guess she doesn’t know:
I poured it in her cup
Not mine.
#2 – A Halloween Visit
The pumpkin-moon rises on Halloween night,
A tiny black coffin with eight bats takes flight.
An eight-legged driver with dagger-fanged jaws?
That’s not old Saint Nick, it’s his pal Spider-Claws!
His cobweb-wrapped presents of potions and spells
Will flip-flop your tummy with nose-burning smells.
He creeps down the chimney with barely a noise
To leave scary gifts for all ghouls, girls, and boys.
He might bring you nightmares or haunt all your dreams
With hair-curling howling and spine-tingling screams.
Then Spider-Claws shrieks from his cold, coffin seat—
“Happy Halloween all, and to all Trick-Or-Treat!”
#3 – The Nickname Cure
Matilda’s nickname gave her a case of the gloomies.
Especially today on Halloween.
Since her first day at Spookamentary School,
the zombies, ghouls, and mummies called her
W A R T I L D A !
The name didn’t suit Matilda. After all, her wart was teensy-tiny.
Moments before trick-or-treating, Matilda slipped into the science lab.
She picked a sticky cobweb and two bat wings from a box.
She stirred them up with one juicy, lizard’s gizzard.
“This potion will do the trick!” said Matilda.
She dabbed the mixture on her chin and…
Ka-BOOOM!
Matilda’s wart grew large and hairy.
“Perfect!” said Matilda. “Now my nickname suits me.”
#4 – Itchy Witchy Underwear
Every year on Halloween,
there’s pumpkins, costumes, and a scene
that thrills the region’s flight fanatics:
Myrtle’s Fright-Night Aerobatics!
But Myrtle’s stumbled on a hitch:
her witchy britches make her itch!
Charms and chants and incantations–
none relieves her aggravations.
Myrtle checks a cobwebbed cranny
for a brew to soothe her fanny.
“Use this potion if you dare.”
She pours it on her underwear.
“It’s done the trick! Oh, lucky witch!
Britches gone, but so’s the itch!”
Feeling breezy on her broom,
Myrtle zips to practice. Zoom!
On Halloween she wows the town–
but…
DON’T watch Myrtle upside down!
#5 – Tricky Witch Test
It’s Halloween! Tonight’s my chance. I’ve got to join the witches dance!
If I can pass this potion test, at last I’ll with cackle with the rest!
Two strands of cobweb, eye of newt, a pinch of stinky goblin root…
GULP!
Do you smell smoke? I feel a spark! I think I’m glowing in the dark!
What’s that? I passed? I got it right? I’m now a pumpkin burning bright?
Hooray! I’m glad I did so well, but how do I undo this spell?
BURP!
That’s all it took to make the switch? Tonight I get to be a witch!
#6 – Let’s Go Scarecrow
Bloop-blop
Past the oozing potion.
Let’s go, Scarecrow.
Shuffle-shuffle
Under drooping cobwebs.
There’s the door.
TIP-toe TIP-toe
Shhh, Let’s go, Scarecrow.
DING-DONG!
“TRICK or TREAT!”
“MWA-HA-HA-HA!!
AAAAHHH!
Let’s go! Let’s go!
Under the cobwebs.
Past the potion.
Through the maze.
Over the bridge.
Down the path.
Through the leaves,
PHEW!
Finally, safe at home again.
#7 – Tacky Trick
Itty-bitty corner,
teeny-tiny shed.
Eensie-weensie spider
hanging by a thread.
Spiderling is spinning.
Complicated! Tricky!
Can’t construct a cobweb.
Help! The strings aren’t sticky!
Searches for solutions,
while Halloween is new.
Awkwardly appears
arachnid has no glue.
Witchy whizzes in then,
(broom repair, you see),
catches Spider sobbing
among the web debris.
Witchy comforts Spider
with a shushing motion.
Utters muttered verses,
promptly pours a potion.
Golden drop is plopped
on Spider’s little backy.
Silken threads appear.
Some twirl and tie—they’re tacky!
Spider’s on the broom now,
trying to repay.
Sticky silk will mend it.
Witchy’s on her way!
#8 -Vampire Stains
Curses! No! It can’t be so!
I need to get to my chateau!
Zis cloak is now adorned with stains
From zees night’s many spurting veins.
Vhere’s my blood removal lotion?
Bleh! I vill just make a potion.
To rid ze blood, resume abductions,
Follow zees precise instructions:
Curls of cobwebs, vings of bats
Vort of toad and tails of cats.
Zen a scoop of Oxyclean
To look my best on Halloveen.
Ah-ha! That vorked! A vondrous trick!
Now back to hunting very quick.
Bleh! I’m shiny as a spark!
I’m much too clean; glow-in-ze-dark!
#9 – Boo Quiet To Spook?
It’s Halloween, and Glenda Ghost
must face the thing she dreads the most:
to haunt tonight, each ghost and ghoul
must prove they’ve mastered Spooking School!
So Glenda waits to do her best
while witches pass their potions test.
Next up, the werewolves howl and growl,
and black cats hiss and monsters scowl.
As Glenda’s turn approaches fast,
she fears her timid “Boo” won’t pass.
Would trick-or-treaters shrink in fright,
or laugh if Glenda spooks tonight?
The spiders spin,
then Glenda’s next!
She LOOMS—nose twitching, fingers flexed.
With cobwebs clinging, quiet “Boo!”
becomes a spookier
“AhhhhhHHHHHhhhhhhhHHHHhhhhhhhhh-Choo!”
#10 – Ghost’s Pest Problem
Ghost peeked out the window.
GHOST: Ahhhh!!!
He picked up the phone and dialed the number.
WITCH: You’ve reached Lotions, Potions, and Other Solutions, how may I help you?
GHOST: I’ve got a pest problem!
WITCH: Okay, I’ll send the exterminator.
Later…
Knock, knock.
Ghost opened the door.
GHOST: Finally, you’re here! They’re all over the front porch!
SPIDER: It’s that time of year. Halloween always brings them out, especially to haunted houses.
GHOST: You’re sure the traps will work?
SPIDER: Oh yeah, they always get caught in them.
Ding-dong.
GHOST: They’re here! Quick! Spin the cobwebs!
“Trick-or-treat!”
#11 – Gloona The Grinchy Witch
Gloona the witch was a ghastly old soul-
more greed than a dragon, more warts than a troll.
On Halloween evening, she mixed up a brew
with lizard tail, bedbugs, and pickled worm goo.
From out of her potion, a ghoulish mist crept.
It oozed through the streets until everyone slept.
Beaming with glee, Gloona flew out unseen.
She swept through the city and stole Halloween.
She took every cobweb, each pumpkin and light,
the scarecrows, the sweets, the decor made of fright,
and inside her cottage, she laughed with conceit.
That is, ‘til she heard, “Ring-a-ding. Trick or treat!”
#12 – Broom Or Bust
The Witches-Who-Confer convene,
just once a year on Halloween.
The youngest witch to ever try
to earn her broom and learn to fly,
Sabrina stood before the crowd;
enacting words she spoke out loud:
“A pinch of cobweb, extra dusty,
metal shavings, not too rusty.
Put them in a pumpkin shell.
Add the potion; mix it well.”
Sabrina ducked behind the chair
as pumpkin pieces pierced the air.
And once the chaos came to rest
Sabrina said, “I tried my best!
I’ll go back home; I’ll hone my tricks
and I’ll be back when I am six!”
I know this is a tough choice! But please read and consider and choose your favorite and vote for it in the poll below by Monday November 11 at midnight Eastern time! That gives you 3 whole days to vote!
Due to the large number of entries and the amount of time it took to get the finalists posted, my schedule is a disaster. There will be a Tuesday Debut on Tuesday and a Would You Read It on Wednesday which were previously scheduled, so I will try to post the contest winners on Thursday. I am leaving for Brazil on Wednesday, however, which will make handling the prize distribution and related emails a bit tricky until I get back. So I beg your indulgence and appreciate your patience! I will get it all sorted out just as quickly as I can!
I apologize for the fact that I am behind schedule posting the finalists. I know you are all waiting. I did not anticipate 324 entries or I would have given myself and the other judges more time. We will do our best to have the finalists posted by tomorrow or Saturday.
Lizard toes and dragon scales! It’s time for . . .
The9THAnnualHALLOWEENSIECONTEST!!!
~ for children’s writers ~
The Contest: write a 100 word Halloween story appropriate for children (children here defined as 12 and under) (title not included in the 100 words), using the words potion, cobweb, and trick. Your story can be scary, funny, sweet, or anything in between, poetry or prose, but it will only count for the contest if it includes those 3 words and is 100 words (you can go under, but not over!) Get it? Halloweensie – because it’s not very long and it’s for little people 🙂 (And yes, I know 100 words is short, but that’s part of the fun and the challenge! We got over 235 fantastic entries last year, so I know you can do it!) Also, you may use the words in any form – e.g. potions, cobwebbed, trickery, whathaveyou 🙂 NO ILLUSTRATION NOTES PLEASE! (And yes, you may submit more than one entry if you’re so inclined 🙂 )
Post: your story on your blog between right now this very second and Thursday October 31st by 11:59 PM EDT and add your post-specific link to the list below (not your blog’s main url because if you post again after your entry during the dates of the contest, the judges will find the wrong post!) There will be no Tuesday Debut, Perfect Picture Book or Would You Read It posts for the duration of the contest so the links will stay up for everyone to visit and enjoy. If you don’t have a blog and would like to enter, you can simply copy and paste your entry in the comments section below (please include your byline! If your posting handle is something like MamaWritesByNightlight I can’t identify you.) If you have difficulty posting in the comments, which unfortunately sometimes happens, you may email your entry to me at susanna[at]susannahill[dot]com and I’ll post it for you. Please place your entry in the body of the email including your title and byline at the top – NO ATTACHMENTS! And please do not submit entries before the start of the contest! Please submit your entry only ONCE! If you add it to the blog link list, and the comments, and email me to post it, things get very confusing! I try to stay as glued to my desk as possible, but sometimes I have to get up so if I don’t respond to your email or approve your post immediately, don’t panic! I’ll get to it as soon as I can!
The Judging: in a grueling marathon over the coming days, my devoted assistants and I will narrow down the entrants to 369 12? top choices (hee hee hee – you know how much trouble I have with winnowing, so we’ll see!) which will be posted here and voted on for a winner on Monday November 4th (if the judging takes longer than we expect if could be later…but we will do our best!) The winner will be announced on Thursday November 7th (good lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise 🙂 )
Judging criteria will be as follows:
1. Kid-appeal! – These stories are intended for a young audience (ages 12 and under), so we’re looking for stories that children will enjoy and relate to.
2. Halloweeniness – the rules state a Halloween story, so it must be crystal clear that the story is about Halloween, not just some random spooky night.
3. Quality of story – entries must tell a story, including a main character of some kind and a true story arc even if it’s tiny 🙂 Entries must not be merely descriptions or mood pieces.
4. Quality of Writing: check your spelling, grammar, punctuation etc. If you’re going to rhyme, give us your best 🙂 Overall writing quality and use of language are also important.
5. Originality and creativity – because that is often what sets one story above another.
6. PLEASE FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS! Large numbers of entries make it easy to cut entries that haven’t been entered as we asked.
The Prizes: SO AMAZING! What a generous community we have to donate so much awesomeness!!! 🙂
Go Directly To Go! Skip The Slushpile at Blue Whale Press and Get Your PB Manuscript Directly On The Editor’s Desk!!!
Submit your picture book manuscript directly to editor Alayne Christian for her consideration and critique. Helpful feedback is a certainty, publication could be a possibility!
Blue Whale Press is an SCBWI PAL publisher of children’s books that focuses on stories involving themes of friendship and/or personal challenge. Most often, stories are selected for publishing due to their inherent educational or moral value. But as a general rule, a good dose of humor or a tug at the heart doesn’t hurt their chances of being published either. While a few chapter books and a middle grade are on their list, their focus is picture books. As a boutique publisher who doesn’t mind taking risks, Blue Whale Press considers itself to be a launch pad for authors and illustrators hoping to establish themselves.
Hone Your Skills with the Lyrical Language Lab Rhyme & Meter Self Study Crash Course (11 Lessons) from accomplished writer and poet Renee LaTulippe
INTENSIVE RHYME AND METER CRASH COURSE
This option contains all the same lessons as Module 1 of Renee’s fully guided course, including all supplemental materials, downloads, and audio/video components. This is the option to choose if you need to build a strong foundation in the mechanics of rhyming picture books and poetry. The major focus is on the four main types of meter and how to use mixed and varied meter. Other topics include rhythm, cadence, breath, scansion, rhyme, sound devices, figurative language, imagery, and diction.
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You also have the opportunity to submit two of your assignments to Renee for feedback, and have email access to ask questions about the lessons as you complete them. Although lessons will arrive every other day, you are free to complete them at your own pace.
See the course description above for more information.
Rhyming Picture Book Manuscript Critique from Carrie Finison, author of DOZENS OF DOUGHNUTS and DON’T HUG DOUG, forthcoming from Putnam in August 2020 and Spring 2021.
Fiction OR Nonfiction Picture Book Manuscript Critique (non-rhyming please) from Darshana Khiani, author of HOW TO WEAR A SARI forthcoming from HMH/Versify, Spring 2021
Picture Book Manuscript Critique (non-rhyming please) from Gabi Snyder, author of TWO DOGS ON A TRIKE, forthcoming from Abrams Appleseed, May 2020 and LISTEN, forthcoming from S&S/Wiseman, Spring 2021
Please join me in thanking these very generous authors and other writing professionals for contributing their books and writing expertise as prizes by visiting their websites and blogs, considering their books and services for holiday or other gift purchases, rating and/or reviewing their books on GoodReads, Amazon, B&N or anywhere else if you like them, recommending them for school visits, or supporting them in any other way you can dream up 🙂
Now then, my pretties! It’s past the witching hour in the dead of night – very appropriate for a Halloween story, don’t you think? – and the time has come for my sample entry (which I seriously almost did not get done!) I seem to have developed a bad habit of having editorial deadlines that land in the middle of these contests, so I freely own up to the fact that I way exceeded the word count because I simply didn’t have time to make it shorter. My apologies for totally cheating! It’s not even like it’s any good as a result… but it does come to a sort of an ending😊 If nothing else, it should fill you with confidence in your own MUCH MUCH better efforts!!!
Runaway Imagination
(so many words I’m not even writing it down!😊)
Costumes, make-up, pounding feet
Rushing out to trick-or-treat.
Almost at the farmyard gate
Witch Lucinda hollers, “Wait!
In this Halloween commotion
I forgot my poison potion!”
Sets her plastic pumpkin down.
“Go ahead! We’ll meet in town!”
Grabs her potion. Comes back quick.
But someone’s played an awful trick!
Her pumpkin pail, left on the ground,
Has disappeared and can’t be found!
Nevermind. A bag will do.
The witch zooms off to join her crew.
But halfway down the old farm road
She sees a sight that stops her cold.
In the shadows of the night
Glides a shape of ghostly white
Issuing an eerie moan
That makes Lucinda RUN for home!
Ghost flies past her fleeing faster
Surely this will be disaster!
Stops short at the barnyard fence.
Suddenly it all makes sense.
Head stuck in her pumpkin pail
Covered in a cobweb veil,
This is not a scary ghost!
Just a foolish baby goat!
Never say I’m not willing to embarrass myself for you! 😊😊😊 That is true love!😊
I can’t wait to read all of your entries! I’m so looking forward to them! I hope there will be a lot – the more the merrier! And there are still nearly 4 days to write, so you have time if you haven’t written yet. Feel free to spread the word to your writing friends as well. And your reading friends – parents, teachers, etc. The more people who read and enjoy your stories, the better!!!
Contest Entrants, remember to add your post-specific link to the google form below so we can all come read your awesome stories! (Post-specific means not your main blog url, but the actual url of the post that has your story in it – otherwise if you post again before the contest ends, your link will take readers… and judges!… to the wrong place!)
Eager Readers – just go along the list of links, click on them, and enjoy the stories!
Happy Writing and Happy Halloween!!! 🙂 🎃
And don’t miss the197!!! fabulous entries that are posted in the comments below! (And HURRAY! I FINALLY figured out how to make links (THANK YOU AMY!) so you can click directly through to each story to read and comment for the talented authors!!!)
(Where authors’ first names were the same/same spelling I tried to add last names)
If you can relate it to a holiday at all (which is a bit of a stretch 🙂 ) the book I’ve chosen to share today is a little more Thanksgiving-y than Halloween-y. But even though Halloween comes first and is less than a week away, this book is too good not to share now 🙂
Title: Fry Bread: A Native American Family Story
Written By: Kevin Noble Maillard
Illustrated By: Juana Martinez-Neal
Roaring Brook Press, October 22 2019, nonfiction
Suitable For Ages: 3-6 (but older kids and adults will find the back matter very interesting!)
Themes/Topics: heritage, tradition, family, community
Opening: “FRY BREAD IS FOOD Flour, salt, water Cornmeal, baking powder Perhaps milk, maybe sugar All mixed together in a big bowl”
text copyright Kevin Noble Maillard 2019, illustration copyright Juana Martinez-Neal 2019 Roaring Brook Press
Brief Synopsis: A celebration of how this no-single-recipe-fits-all community food draws families and friends together and provides continuity from generation to generation.
text copyright Kevin Noble Maillard 2019, illustration copyright Juana Martinez-Neal 2019 Roaring Brook Press
Links To Resources: the back of the book contains extensive additional information that teachers and parents can use to round out the use of the book at home and in the classroom and that older readers will enjoy. Topics include a recipe for the author’s own unique version of Fry Bread as well as information on Indigenous people, geography, history, and more.
Why I Like This Book: the text is simple, powerful, and accessible to readers of all ages, telling the story of how Fry Bread brings families and communities together and encourages tradition. The back matter adds another layer with a great deal of very interesting information about a wide range of connected topics. The art is warm and appealing, adding its own element to the story with illustrations of Native bowls and baskets, a wide array of physical appearances that can all be Native American, and a map that lacks the usual delineations in order to show how Indigenous people are in every population. Beautifully done, and a wonderful addition to any library!
text copyright Kevin Noble Maillard 2019, illustration copyright Juana Martinez-Neal 2019 Roaring Brook Press
PPBF folks, please add your titles and post-specific links (and any other info you feel like filling out 🙂 ) to the form below so we can all come see what fabulous picture books you’ve chosen to share this week!
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!!! 🙂
And get those Halloweensie entries finished up! The contest opens Monday!!! WOOHOO!!! 🙂
It’s Would You Read It Wednesday again and something about the title of today’s pitch made me think of that old game we used to play on long drives in the car. I’m sure it goes by different names, but in my family we call it “I Packed My Grandmother’s Trunk.” (e.g. I packed my Grandmother’s Trunk and in it I put something beginning with A – apple – and so on through the alphabet, and as each person took their turn they had to recite all the things that had come before) and it occurred to me out of nowhere (a lightning strike of inspiration!) that today we should start with Would You Write It Wednesday! 🙂
So why don’t we pack our October/Autumn/Halloween stories, and in them place something that begins with O (as in ghostly moans OOOOOOOHHHHH! 🙂 ) and then write an October/Autumn/Halloween story with your “O” word in it?
The obvious Halloween-related choices are October, Owl, and Orange, so feel free to write your Would You Write It Wednesday October/Autumn/Halloween story about one (or more) of those. But I thought, why not go with something less obvious and challenge yourself to put that in a story?! So for those of you who want to go advanced, put an Orangutan in your story! 🙂
Since I have Halloween on the brain, and we are all writing our Halloweensie Contest stories (even if choose not to write about Halloween orangutans today) and therefore need serious creativity fuel, I think our Something Chocolate today should be this scarily delicious Death By Chocolate Halloween Cake!
If THAT doesn’t jump start your creative process, I don’t know what will! The amount of sugar and caffeine in a chocolate cake that dark and delicious-looking ought to be enough to set your pen on fire and have you writing like the wind!
Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Natalie who says, ” I have been writing for over a year now and I am loving every minute of it. I am a substitute teacher with three young kids. So, trying to write sometimes is impossible when they need my undivided attention. I am looking forward to one day having one of my own stories to be physically in my hands because I love the smell of a new book and its crisp pages.”
Find her on the web at Twiter@CohnNatalie
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: The Unexpected Suitcase
Age/Genre: MG Mystery (ages 8-12)
The Pitch: A clumsy, eager boy named Henry discovers a tattered suitcase under a floorboard, at grandma’s house. Figuring out the mystery of the suitcase won’t be easy, eventually, he will need to tell the truth to his grandmother, but when Henry falls inside the suitcase, he is taken on an unexpected journey back in time in the 1950s, maybe forever.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Natalie improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above. There are openings in January, which is not as far away as you might think! so sign up for a date and polish up your pitch because you could put it up for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta!
Natalie is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to writing an Autumn/Halloween story that involves Orangutans, Oreos, and Ovaltine 🙂
Welcome to another exciting installment of Tuesday Debut!
I realize of course that it’s the 22nd of October – 9 Nights Before Halloween, and 64 Nights Before Christmas – but if it’s okay for the local Stop & Shop to be putting out their holiday items already then it’s okay for us to share and enjoy today’s debut picture book!
I’m thrilled to introduce Tuesday Debut-ess Dawn Young and her fabulously fun picture book, The Night Baafore Christmas!
The Night Baafore Christmas
Written by Dawn Young
Illustrated by Pablo Pino
published by WorthyKids, Hachette Book Group
October 2019
fiction, ages 4-8
It’s Christmas Eve and Bo can’t sleep, so he starts counting sheep. But when the sheep get a glimpse of the Christmas goodies, they scatter, wreaking holiday mayhem all over the house. With a house full of sheep and a mess to clean, will Bo get to sleep before Santa comes? Find out in this hilarious story of a night before Christmas gone baa-dly wrong.
SUSANNA: Welcome, Dawn! And thank you so much for stopping by to chat with us today and share your journey to publication! Where did the idea for this book come from?
DAWN: The idea for The Night Baafore Christmas began a long time ago, when one of my daughters was having trouble falling asleep because she kept worrying about bad things after watching the movie Barnyard. Every night I’d tell her to think good thoughts and imagine herself at fun, happy places like the circus or the zoo.
With that in mind, I wrote about a child who, struggling to fall asleep due to bad thoughts, went to those same fun, happy places. But a story about a child going from adventure to adventure felt flat and needed something more, so I had the child attempt to count sheep to fall asleep. Soon, those mischievous sheep were tagging along on the adventures. At that point, the story had some spark but things went from flat to frenzied and I knew I needed to tighten the story.
Also, I wanted the story to start on a more positive note, so instead of having the child worry about bad things, I had the excitement over an upcoming event, like the eve of a birthday or a holiday, be the reason the child couldn’t fall sleep. I played around with both, but found myself heading down the birthday path. Then, after seeing the holiday mishap contest on Susanna’s blog, I shifted to Christmas, and wrote a draft of what is now The Night Baafore Christmas.
[And now a brief message from our sponsors – enter theHalloweensie Contest (which opens in a week)! You too could write a new story or find a new angle on a work-in-progress that might be worthy of publication just like Dawn!
…aaand back to our regularly scheduled programming…! 🙂 ]
SUSANNA: How long did it take you to write this book?
DAWN: Years! I began writing the story in 2008. Getting feedback from my critique partners and creating dummies were a big part of getting the book to where it is today. I love to write in rhyme, and I wanted this story to be in rhyme. Knowing that most publishers prefer prose because too often (they say) they see rhyme that is subpar, I worked on my perfecting my rhyming skills. Also, I wanted this story to be fun and funny, so I focused on wordplay and humor.
SUSANNA: Did you go through many revisions?
DAWN: This story went through many, many, many revisions. Even after adding the sheep, the story went through rounds and rounds of revisions. Early drafts were written in first person, and now the story is in third person. Playing around with POV is a great exercise.
Also, originally, the sheep appeared by number randomly to mirror the craziness of the story. Then, I received feedback suggesting I number the sheep in ascending order when the action escalates and in descending order when the momentum slows down. I revised accordingly, and it worked great and gave the story a smoother flow. I’m grateful for the feedback!
For me, critique groups/partners are key to the process. We look to our critique partners for feedback to help us revise our stories, and their suggestions are invaluable. I find that I make a great deal of progress with my manuscripts when I, not only consider the feedback I get, but also the feedback I give. When I do a critique, I think my inner self is trying to speak to me through someone else’s work. Often, I find myself saying, Wait I just did that same thing! A critique you’re doing for someone can act as a mirror, enabling you to reflect on your own writing as well.
SUSANNA: When did you know your manuscript was ready for submission?
DAWN: When that nagging, unsettling, “something’s missing,” “if you stop now you’re cheating,” “you can do better than that,” feeling, the one that keeps me up at night, is gone, then I know the manuscript is ready for submission.
SUSANNA: When and how did you submit?
DAWN: Unagented at the time, I read on Kathy Temean’s blog that WorthyKids was seeking submissions for holiday stories, so I subbed the old-school way, via snail mail! Shortly after the submission, I assigned with my (now) agent and she handled the contract.
SUSANNA: When did you get “the call”? (Best moment ever! 🙂 )
DAWN: Four months after I submitted, I got an email from the editor asking if the story was still available. I was ecstatic! Then around ten months later I got the offer.
SUSANNA: How did you celebrate signing your contract?
DAWN: I cried, the happiest of tears, and eventually I went out to dinner with my very supportive husband.
SUSANNA: Was the contract what you expected in terms of advance, royalty percentage, publication timeline, author copies etc.?
DAWN: At the time I submitted to WorthyKids, they were a smaller publisher so I figured the advance might be on the lower side. I really liked the publisher and the timeline for publication was unreal. I signed the contract in Nov 2018 and they gave me a Fall 2019 pub date. I felt so fortunate. In the meantime, WorthyKids became part of Hachette Book Group, so my small publisher isn’t so small anymore.
SUSANNA: What was the editorial process like for you?
DAWN: They requested two minor changes and that was it.
SUSANNA: What can you tell us about your experience of the illustration process?
DAWN: The illustration process was unlike most I’ve read about. The editor suggested that I send her names of illustrators that had a style similar to what I was envisioning for the book. One of the names I gave her was Pablo Pino. Since they had Pablo in mind as well, they asked him and he said yes. His illustrations went beyond what I could have ever hoped for. They’re are beautiful, fun and funny. I feel so fortunate that Pablo Pino is the illustrator. The Night Baafore Christmas couldn’t have been in better hands!
One way in which illustrator’s vision departed from mine was that I envisioned the sheep’s numbers to be on their bodies, but Pablo put their numbers on tags around their necks, and I’m so glad he did because they’re visible but subtle. Having big ole numbers on their backs may have overpowered the page.
I saw digital files of the entire book before it went to print and I was blown away! The editor asked for feedback. Other than saying Wow more times than I can count, I think I had only two (minor) comments.
I did have art notes. Looking back I can see that they weren’t necessary.
text copyright Dawn Young 2019, illustration copyright Pablo Pino 2019 WorthyKids/Hachette
SUSANNA: Did you get to see advance reviews from Kirkus, SLJ, etc? What was that like?
DAWN: No, not yet.
SUSANNA: How long did it take from offer to having the first copy in your hand?
DAWN: Ten months.
SUSANNA: If your book has been out for at least one statement cycle, has it earned out yet?
DAWN: It just released on Oct 1st.
SUSANNA: What kind of marketing and promotion has your publisher done for this book?
DAWN: My publisher has been amazing. They made the most lively, fun, festive trailer, and they’re contacting book reviewers, making memes, and doing a great deal of promotion.
SUSANNA: Describe any marketing/promotion you did for this book.
DAWN: I had flyers, bookmarks, stickers and a banner made. I reached out to bloggers asking them I could be featured on their blogs to share my journey and the book’s journey. I will be featured at bookstores in November and December and I’m booking other events as well.
SUSANNA: How long was it between the time you started writing seriously and the time you sold your first picture book?
DAWN: I started writing in 2007, but at the time, my kids were small, and I was busy with toddlers and very involved at their school, so I’d say I was more of a part-time writer. Around 2010, I got really serious about writing and began attending conferences and writing retreats, taking classes, joining critique groups and writing ALL the time. Strictly a rhymer, I thought it would be best to branch out and be more diverse with my style, so around that time, I started writing in prose as well. In 2018, I sold my first picture book, Counting Elephants, which releases in March 2020 and sold The Night Baafore Christmas shortly after.
SUSANNA: Anything else you’d like to share about your book’s journey from inspiration to publication?
DAWN: Way back when, I submitted the very early versions of this story and they got their share of rejections, as they should have. Those versions were nowhere near ready and should not have been out in the world ‒ much like a 13 year old behind the wheel of a car! The rejections I received were a blessing. As much as I dreaded them and resented them, they made me work harder, thinker deeper and get more ingenious. I learned to welcome them. I have a quote I like to remember when things aren’t going as expected: “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ― Dalai Lama XIV
I learned that getting published requires more patience and persistence than I ever thought I had.
I also learned to celebrate the positive things. Back in 2013, I submitted this story to an editor who spoke at a conference I attended. Shortly after I received a rejection letter from her, but this time, I also got positive feedback. The editor called the story “fun and engaging” and she called my writing “fresh” and had other nice things to say. Even though it was a rejection, I celebrated her encouraging feedback, and to this day I still have her letter on my desk.
I feel very fortunate to be a part of such a fabulously generous and thoughtful kidlit community. The support and encouragement is incredible. No one knows a writer’s life like a writer does.
SUSANNA: Wow, Dawn! Such a lot of wonderful, helpful insights you shared with us today! I especially enjoyed your thoughts on critique groups/partners, when you know your manuscript is ready, and what it’s like to be a writer and part of the writing community. I’m sure our readers will all have their favorite parts as well 🙂 Thank you so much for taking the time to participate in this series and paying it forward to other writers!
Author Dawn Young
Dawn Young bio:
Dawn graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Mechanical Engineering, and later with an MBA. For years, Dawn worked as an engineer and, later, manager at a large aerospace company, until her creative side called her to pursue her dream of writing children’s books. After reading and writing hundreds of corporate documents, none of which were titled The Little Engineer Who Could or Don’t Let the Pigeon Fly the Airbus, Dawn is thrilled to now be reading and writing picture books instead.
Dawn is also a math enthusiast. When she’s not busy writing and reading, she can be found doing math problems, sometimes just because… In high school, Dawn’s dream was to have a math equation named after her, but now, she believes having her name on the cover of books is a million times better! Dawn lives with her husband, three children and golden retriever in sunny Arizona.
All good things, but SO. BUSY!!! Just back from a New Jersey Booksellers Conference and let me tell you there’s nothing like driving through a Nor’easter made of rain, where your GPS starts by telling you you’ll arrive at 5:54 PM. . . and you actually arrive at 8PM. . . while she gleefully reports from time to time that, “Traffic is getting worse! You will now arrive at 6:24!” “There is a 27 minute slow down. You are still on the fastest route.” “Traffic is getting worse! You will now arrive at 7:43!” etc 🙂
I believe traveling by upside down umbrella would have been faster 🙂
Now I’m off to Sheep & Wool for the whole weekend with CAN’T SLEEP and LLAMA, those wooly upholders of fiber arts (as well as MOON and DEAR SANTA just because 🙂 ) where we will do our wooly hair up fancy and admire all the hand-knitted and crocheted sweaters and scarves and mittens and hats and even dresses parading past our little table while the tantalizing scent of apple crisp floats over from the building next door!
I’m putting up this post with the list for all of you to add your books to, but I am literally falling asleep on the keyboard, so I’m going to have to add my book in tomorrow if I have time.
If I don’t that will just be more time for you to read each other’s books! 🙂
PPBF folks, please add your titles and post-specific links (and any other info you feel like filling out 🙂 ) to the form below so we can all come see what fabulous picture books you’ve chosen to share this week!
Have a wonderful wild and wooly weekend, everyone!!! 🙂
When I was in elementary school, I had a Latin teacher who let us play a game she called “Dictionary” on the day before we got out for school vacations. (Undoubtedly she realized we weren’t going to learn anything on those days, so there was no point in teaching! 🙂 ) Someone would randomly select a word from the dictionary and write the correct definition on a slip of paper, and the rest of us would try to make up a definitions that sounded plausible and write them on our own slips of paper. Then the teacher would gather them up and read all the definitions aloud and we’d vote on which one we thought was the real definition. Whoever got the most votes won… and usually we did NOT choose the actual definition. It was fun!
It’s not a game we can play here, I don’t think, but instead we can celebrate National Dictionary Day by closing our eyes, opening the dictionary to a random point (this is assuming you all still HAVE an actual dictionary and don’t rely solely on online versions) and point to a word on the page you open to. Whatever that word is, let it be a story prompt for your writing today!
Maybe you have to use the word, or the idea of the word, in your story. Or maybe the theme of your story has to be what the meaning of the word is. Or maybe you play anagrams with the word and come up with three words made out of the letters from your word and include those three words in your story. Or maybe you choose the antonym of the word and write your story using that. Or maybe your main character’s name has to be the word… which could make for some interesting names… and characters… 🙂 Who knows?
Give it a try and see what you come up with!
And to fuel your creative efforts, let’s have Something Chocolate! After all, there’s nothing like chocolate to get the old brain in high gear! 🙂 I think today we should have Chocolate-Covered Coconut Chocolate Chip Macaroons. Only 4 ingredients – that’s my kind of simple 🙂
Now THAT’S a breakfast that will fill you with energy and ideas!!!
Alrighty then! Onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Melissa who says, “As a girl, I roamed the hills and forests. Connecting with nature is still a magical experience that leaves me fulfilled and happy. I hope my manuscript encourages others to appreciate what lies just outside their door and inspires them to nurture our beautiful lands and creatures.”
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: Mandy’s Magical Quest
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8)
The Pitch: Mandy and her black crow, Bram, journey to the four elemental Goddesses in the far corners of the earth to save their grove of trees. The journey is not easy, but they persevere. Mandy is rewarded with a thriving grove and a magical thank you.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Melissa improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on Would You Read it in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above. There are openings in January, so you have time to polish your pitch before putting it up for helpful feedback and a chance to have it read and commented on by editor Erin Molta, but it doesn’t hurt to snag a date now!
Melissa is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to the New Atlantic Independent Booksellers Fall Conference which I am attending today! I’ve never been before, so I’m looking forward to seeing what it’s all about! 🙂
You are reading this from all over the world today, and I’m so glad you’re here! For some of you spring is just around the corner, and for others autumn approaches without any appreciable change in the weather, but here in the northeastern US, the trees have bedecked themselves in all their colored finery and the birds are on the move – some south to warmer climes, some settling in for the duration, checking out all the local bird feeders in order to select the best place to spend the winter 🙂
It’s a great time to enjoy today’s debut picture book!
Bird Count by Susan Edwards Richmond
illustrated by Stephanie Fizer Coleman
Peachtree Publishing Company, Inc.
October 1, 2019
Fiction PB
Ages 4 to 8
Ava is excited when Big Al, the leader of their Christmas Bird Count team, asks her to record the tally this year. Using her most important tools—her eyes and ears—she eagerly identifies and counts the birds they observe on their assigned route around town.
SUSANNA: Welcome, Susan! Thank you so much for joining us today! We’re so looking forward to all you have to share about your publication journey! Where did the idea for this book come from?
SUSAN:Bird Count is based on the National Audubon Society’s annual bird census called the Christmas Bird Count (CBC). After being part of my town’s CBC for years, it occurred to me what a wonderful citizen science topic it would be for children, since there’s no age limit for participation. My original idea for the book was as a kind of seek-and-find, with more emphasis on counting than on birdwatching concepts.
SUSANNA: How long did it take you to write this book?
SUSAN: I brought several drafts to my critique group over the course of a few months before feeling it was ready to send out. One of my early versions included parts of a poem I’d written about the count well before sitting down to write it as a picture book. So if you count those notes, the initial writing process took a couple of years.
SUSANNA: When did you know your manuscript was ready for submission?
SUSAN: As my critique group suggested, I paginated the final draft and crafted it until I was happy with the content of each spread. Then I polished the text, a couplet on each spread. When my critique group didn’t have any more suggestions I felt I could use, I was ready!
SUSANNA: When and how did you submit?
SUSAN: I didn’t have an agent, so I selected two editors from houses I knew did great picture books on science topics, Charlesbridge and Peachtree Publishing Company. I had met the Charlesbridge editor at a conference, but an author in my critique group, Melissa Stewart, suggested I try her editor, Vicky Holified, at Peachtree. Because it was a picture book, I mailed off the complete manuscript.
SUSANNA: When did you get “the call”? (Best moment ever! :))
SUSAN: Vicky, the editor at Peachtree, initially liked the book idea but rejected the manuscript. Still, she wanted to work with me. After three complete rewrites over the course of a year without an offer, I wasn’t sure I could keep going. My critique group saved me! I brought in the email with my editors’ latest round of extensive comments, and they walked me through each point, helping me see how I could address her concerns.
I was waiting to hear the results of Bird Count’s second round of acquisition meetings, when Vicky wrote that she’d like to address a few more questions over the phone. After that call, I waited again. Finally, days later, I heard from the vice president that a contract was in the works. I was so grateful I’d persevered I was in tears. I have my critique group to thank, and my editor, who believed in the book so much that she spent a whole year working with me without knowing if it would ever be published.
SUSANNA: How did you celebrate signing your contract?
SUSAN: Bottle of champagne—toasts all around!
Talkin’ Birds
SUSANNA: Was the contract what you expected in terms of advance, royalty percentage, publication timeline, author copies etc.?
SUSAN: Since this was my first book, and I didn’t have an agent, I didn’t know what to expect and felt pretty much on my own. I was so happy to be published, and I didn’t know what was normal! I had a friend who was a lawyer look it over, and then signed. Later I found out that the advance, author copies, and rights were typical for a picture book for this house. I received 15 author copies and had my advance paid in three installments—at signing, at the point the book was sent to production, and on publication date.
SUSANNA: Can you tell us a bit about the editorial process?
SUSAN: As I mentioned earlier, there were heavy rounds of revision before the contract. My editor had a strong vision for the book, and I’m now grateful for all the hard work we did together. I had envisioned it as a much simpler counting book, featuring birds in a variety of habitats. But Vicky was intrigued by the mechanics of the count itself and wanted to highlight all my birding knowledge. It seemed like a lot of information to put into one picture book. But we did it—and it works!
SUSANNA: What was your experience of the illustration process like?
SUSAN: My original manuscript included just a few art notes—only where I thought the spread wouldn’t make sense without it. I’ve learned that you can almost always get rid of an art note. The illustrator has so many original ideas to contribute and usually does “get” the irony or subtlety in your text, and will probably come up with something way more interesting than you imagined!
I was lucky that my editor included me in the process from the beginning, asking me for ideas about illustrator and illustration style, and later providing time for me to review sketches as well as full color illustrations. Because the book had a lot of science content, she wanted to be sure I felt the birds and habitats were portrayed accurately. Fortunately, my illustrator Stephanie Fizer Coleman, is also passionate and knowledgeable about birds!
SUSANNA: Did you get to see advance reviews from Kirkus, SLJ, etc? What was that like?
SUSAN: I have a publicist at Peachtree, Elyse Vincenty, and she’s wonderful. Peachtree mails out dozens of advance copies to reviewers, bloggers, and influencers. She forwarded the Kirkus Review to me as soon as it came out. I’ve also seen advance reviews on Goodreads and on a few blog sites. It felt amazing to read so many positive reviews!
SUSANNA: How long did it take from offer to having the first copy in your hand?
SUSAN: It was accepted for publication in fall of 2015, and I received my first advance copy in April of this year. So three and a half years! Four between offer and release date.
SUSANNA: What kind of marketing and promotion has your publisher done for this book?
SUSAN: I’m lucky that Peachtree does a lot of promotion for its books—which doesn’t mean you don’t have to do a lot of your own as well. But my publicist, Elyse, sends out review copies, communicates with the sales force about unique markets (for example, nature centers and bird stores), facilitates book placement at conferences, and helps authors carry out their marketing ideas. Peachtree chose Bird Count’s cover as the cover image for their Fall catalog, which was incredible, and it has a two-page spread inside. They also do a great job presenting books on their website, including publishing a Teacher’s Guide for which I wrote the text, posting author bios, and linking to author websites.
SUSANNA: Describe any marketing/promotion you did for this book.
SUSAN: No matter who your publisher is, expect to do a lot of marketing! The first thing I did was join Twitter; the second was join an author debut group—since this was my first children’s book—called On the Scene in 2019. The larger your community, the larger your promotional voice will carry.
In addition, my husband produced a book trailer for Bird Count, which Elyse arranged to have released by the Nerdy Book Club. You can see it there at https://nerdybookclub.wordpress.com/2019/08/31/book-trailer-premiere-bird-count-by-susan-edwards-richmond/ or on my website. I had two sets of bookmarks, and a postcard designed and printed. I also developed a list of markets which I thought might sell my book, and got creative about expanding it. It’s not my job to sell to stores, but when a manager expresses interest, I give the information to my publicist, and she has a sales rep contact them. I also set up most of my own author appearances, including the launch, signings, story times, etc., although Peachtree arranged for me to sign at the NEIBA Discovery Show in Providence, RI, during my book release week, which was very exciting.
SUSANNA: How long was it between the time you started writing seriously and the time you sold your first picture book?
SUSAN: Honestly, it was more than 15 years. Although I became even more focused in the past 6 or 7.
SUSANNA: Anything else you’d like to share about your book’s journey from inspiration to publication?
SUSAN: My path to children’s book publication was longer than most, I think. Could I have gotten there faster? Maybe, but you also have to embrace your own journey. I raised a family and developed a local poetry following in the interim, as well as found my dream job—teaching at a Mass Audubon preschool.
All of my experiences led me to where I am today, with my first children’s book out from a fantastic house, represented by an amazing agent, Stephen Fraser at Jennifer de Chiara Literary Agency, and surrounded by a wonderful, generous writing community. Doesn’t get any better than that.
Thank you so much, Susanna, for interviewing me about my publication story! It’s been wonderful speaking with you.
SUSANNA: Thank YOU so much for taking the time to visit with us today, share your experience, and participate in this series and paying it forward to other writers! I know I speak for everyone when I say how much we appreciate it and that we all wish you the very best of success with this and future books!
Readers, if you have questions for Susan, please post them in the comments below and if she has time I’m sure she’ll respond!
You may purchase Susan’s book at:
(all links below are book-specific)
Susanna Leonard Hill 
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