I hope you ate your Wheaties this morning, lovelies! We’ve got a full agenda today!
First, we must consult our horoscopes.
Mine says, “Treat yourself to Something Chocolate!”
(Okay. I admit it didn’t say exactly that… But it did say “You have a wonderful opportunity for refreshment” which is practically the same thing! Given the comments that followed it was clearly referring to refreshment and renewal in your personal life, but that’s a little too serious for me… So since horoscopes are open to interpretation I choose to interpret refreshment as chocolate 🙂 )
And since we’re going to have Something Chocolate in about one minute, I think we can all agree it’s surprisingly accurate! 🙂
Now that we know it’s going to be a delightfully chocolate-filled day, on to the Pitch Picks!
(I hope you are all sufficiently caffeinated to follow the complexities of Pitch Pick division below. If not, you may be excused to get a cup of coffee but please come right back! Loitering in the hall is against school rules and will likely earn you a one-way ticket to the principal’s office 🙂 )
The February and March pitches got a little sideways due to the Valentiny Contest in February followed by a month with 5 Wednesdays, so in the interest of evening things out we shall have the February Pitch Pick with the two February pitches plus the first March pitch, and then the March Pitch Pick which has the other 4 March pitches.
Ready?
The February Pitch Pick:
#1 Lynne Marie – The Dino Store (PB ages 4-8)
Open this book and be transported to – THE DINO-STORE, where dinosaurs are not only NOT extinct, but you can choose from an assortment of plant eaters, meat eaters, big dinosaurs and small dinosaurs – some discovered and some yet to be discovered! You can slide down the back of an Apatosaurus, wow your friends with a Stegosaurus at Show ‘N Tell or scare a bully away with Tyrannosaurus – which dinosaur will you choose?
#2 Tracey – Mary Alice (PB ages 12 and under)
Mary Alice is a little tugboat who wishes she could have passengers on board. One fateful morning, as smoke tumbled out of the two tallest towers, a call came over the radio. Mary Alice turned to to help rescue the people who were stranded on Lower Manhattan.
Mary Alice will bridge the gap with the children born after 9/11. This story will also show readers that no matter how small you are, you can achieve mighty things. After all, everyone has a little hero inside of them.
On 9/11, the largest sea evacuation in world history happened. Hearing the United States Coastguard call, many mariners converged onto Lower Manhattan to rescue almost a half a million people. Mary Alice, a blue-collared tugboat, was one of the vessels used.
***I have permission from the Donjon company to use their boat’s name and they have verified the facts of the story.
#3 Stacia – Mia and the Marathon (PB/ER)
Mia loves running and so does Mama. While Mama is getting ready for her longest race ever, Mia discovers new, exciting ways she can get ready too. Mia can’t wait to cheer on Mama but oh no! On Race Day, Mia and Daddy can’t find Mama in the big crowd of runners! Don’t worry: Mia is prepared and knows exactly what to do. It’s time for Mia to cheer her favorite, loudest, cheeriest, cheer ever.
Please cast your vote in the poll below for your favorite February Pitch by Sunday April 17 at 5 PM EDT.
The March Pitch Pick:
#1 Christie – Kitty Clawdette The Broadway Pet (PB ages 4-8)
Kitty Clawdette aches to be a star on Broadway, but she’s an unknown talent with no experience — because she’s a homeless cat. With the help of her lucky star, the theater janitor, she gets her big break and learns there is something more important than fame.
#2 Tracy – TroublE with a Capital” E”! (PB/ER)
Trouble, sometimes it finds you and even follows you home. That’s exactly what happens one extraordinary day when Jack, the perfect pooch, sniffs out the perfect friend. Together the unlikely duo find companionship, love, and yes, trouble! Stirring up trouble isn’t perfect, but it sure is a lot more fun. Sometimes, “T-r-o-u-b-l-E,” can be spelled with a capital E.
#3 Heather – The Hero Of Foggy Basin (PB ages 3-6)
A happy-go-lucky stray dog, who doesn’t want a home, wanders into a town that’s always blanketed by fog—and can’t find the way out. Dog brightens the lives of the gloomy townsfolk and tries to fetch them the sun. Just when it seems this task can’t be done, he meets a trio of children who help him find his way again.
#4 Patricia – Bird And The Baker (PB ages 4-8)
A rainbow-winged, golden-tufted songbird forages each day for grain. When a popular bakery opens nearby, Bird cannot find enough to feed her family. She trades her songs and rainbow wings for more grain, but Bird must use her brain when the baker demands her golden crown, too.
Please cast your vote for your favorite March Pitch in the poll below by Sunday April 17 at 5 PM EDT.
Thank you all for reading and voting! The pitchers and I are all so grateful! Shall we have a little refreshment now- i.e. Something Chocolate? (See? My horoscope was totally right! 🙂 )
Since we have a birthday in our family today, I think we should have cake! 🙂
Super Decadent Chocolate Cake With Chocolate Fudge Frosting!
Now then, onto today’s pitch which comes to us from Ingrid who says, “Hi! I’m Ingrid Boydston, as a mom/kindergarten teacher &theater director I realized I am a full time story teller. So I’ve been writing my stories down, learning the benefits of editing and critique partners for the past 3 years. Now I’m excited to present this pitch to you. You find me tweeting as IngridBoydston@ingridboydston and on FaceBook as Ingrid Boydston.”
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: The Grumps
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 3-6)
The Pitch: Sometimes you wake-up feeling so grumpy you just want to stay that way! Good thing a good friend knows the only way to help is to be grumpy too. Kind of…
Spend the day with the Grumps and you just might discover a smile hiding under that frown.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Ingrid improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read Itor on Would You Read It in the dropdown under For Writers in the bar above. There are openings in May, so you could get your pitch up for some helpful feedback pretty soon, and have a chance to have it read by editor Erin Molta!
Ingrid is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to sharing my “newsletter” with you VERY SOON! I say “newsletter” because it’s not really a newsletter per se… but it will (hopefully) be something fun and useful for you! 🙂
Please forgive this odd post, but I’m trying to figure out how to get a link list on this blog that will work for PPBF and the contests.
Here’s an experimental list powered by Linky Tools.
Anyone who wants is welcome to add their blog url to the link list. I’m hoping at least a few people will be willing because I want to see how the list looks, and find out whether you guys find it easy or annoying to use. I think it’s going to take you off my site to enter your blog url… but then I’m hoping the list itself will show up here.
Fingers crossed…! And thanks in advance to anyone who is willing to try it and give feedback!
Powered by Linky Tools
Click here to enter your link and view this Linky Tools list…
When you guys want something, I do my best to accommodate 🙂
Some of y’all had a bright idea about a “writing contest in February to break up the winter doldrums”…
…and far be it from me to deny your heart’s desire…
…so here we go!
You know how in October we do the Halloweensie Contest – weensie because the entries are not very long and written for little people?
Well, prepare yourselves for the First Annual Pretty Much World Famous Valentiny Contest! 🙂
The First Annual Pretty Much World Famous Valentiny Writing Contest!
Valentiny because it’s also not very long and also for little people 🙂
Halloweensie and Valentiny – a match made in… well, okay, maybe not heaven, but definitely in the hare-brained scheming mind of Yours Truly 🙂
Due to the fact that this is a new contest being put together on short notice, it is just possible that the people in charge around here haven’t worked out all the details quite yet (i.e. there’s a certain amount of scrambling for prizes for y’all… still working on that!) (Also there is the link list difficulty to sort out…) But here’s what we’ve got so far!
The Contest: since writing for children is all about “big emotion for little people” (I forget who said that, but someone did so I put it in quotes!) and Valentines Day is all about emotion, write a Valentines story appropriate for children (children here defined as ages 12 and under) maximum 214 words in which someone is grumpy! Your story can be poetry or prose, sweet, funny, surprising or anything in between, but it will only count for the contest if it includes someone grumpy (can be the main character but doesn’t have to be) and is 214 words (get it? 2/14 for Valentines Day 🙂 You can go under the word count but not over! Title is not included in the word count.) No illustration notes please!
Post your story on your blog between 12:00 AM EDT Monday February 8th and Friday February 12th by 11:59 PM EDT and add your post-specific link to the list that will accompany my February 8th post. There will be no Would You Read It that week, and no PPBF, so the post and the list of links will stay up all week for everyone to enjoy. If you don’t have a blog and would like to enter, you can simply copy and paste your entry in the comments section of that post once it’s up. (Or, if you have difficulty with the comments, which unfortunately sometimes happens, you may email your entry to me and I’ll post it for you!)
The Judging: over the weekend, my lovely assistants and I will narrow down the entrants to 3 top choices (hee hee hee – you know how much trouble I have with only 3, so we’ll see) which will be posted here and voted on for a winner on Monday February 15th or Tuesday February 16th (depending on how many entries we get.) The winner will be announced on Friday February 19th. (And there will be no WYRI or PPBF that week either so that everyone will have time to read and vote and so that we don’t confuse PPBF with announcing winners.) If we get more than 20 entries, I will post 6 finalists and give prizes for 1st through 3rd. If we get a large turn out, well, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it… like I said, there’s a bit of prize acquisition and organization to be accomplished yet! But since this is a new contest, there may be a smaller number of entries… we shall see 🙂
Judging criteria will include:
Kid-appeal/Kid-friendliness – remember, this is a story for kids!
Creativity in using grumpiness and success in making us feel the grumpiness!
Quality of story – we will look for basic story elements and a true story arc
Quality of writing – use and flow of language, correctness of mechanics
Originality – surprise us with something new and different! 🙂
The Prizes: yeah… I’m still working on the prizes 🙂 Feel free to chime in in the comments if there’s something you’d particularly like to win! 🙂 Or if you have clout with anyone who could offer a good prize please contact me at once! 🙂 But so far prizes will include:
(Don’t worry! – I promise I’m working on rummaging up more prizes! :))
So sharpen your pencils!
Get your butt in that chair!
See what amazing, knock-your-socks-off story you can dream up!
It’s a chance to hone your writing skills, practice your craft, write to specifications and a deadline, win amazing prizes, AND get to read and enjoy the wonderful stories written by all your fellows 🙂
Many, many thanks to Julie and Emma for their very generous prize offering!
So, remember how I said I might post the finalists Monday or it might be Tuesday?
Well….
as you’ve probably guessed by now, it might not be Monday.
Because that’s today. And apparently the judges (who shall be nameless) are having some trouble reaching a consensus. And Judging Rules state clearly that there shall be no twisting of arms, issuing of invective, or threatening to withhold chocolate for purposes of coercion!
So, sorry to keep you waiting, but we want to do a good job and there are so many great entries!
Meanwhile, continue to enjoy reading and commenting on all the fabulous entries at
(And no, we have certainly not been distracted by visions of sugar plums, nor have we spent more time eating chocolate than judging! We are hard at work! We promise! Although there was a small incident of gingerbread baking…and eating… and if you haven’t had gingerbread with hot fudge sauce and homemade whipped cream, let me tell you… you need to get right on that! :))
See you tomorrow, good lord willing and the creek don’t rise! And thank you for your patience!
The moment you’ve all been waiting for has arrived!
Our judges have closeted themselves with copies supplies of chocolate, looked over the entries extensively and carefully with their artists’ eye, and after much wrestling, decided on the following 6 finalists!
Before I show them to you though, I just want to congratulate everyone who entered! You all did a fabulous job. There were so many wonderful, creative, beautiful illustrations, and I know I speak for everyone when I say how much we all enjoyed getting to see your work. You are all winners for showing up and putting your talent out on display!
The judges had a hard time choosing just 6 finalists, but without further ado, here they are!
#1 By Dow Phumriuk
#2 By Michelle Todd
#3 By Cheryl Pilgrim
#4 By Micha Klann
#5 By The Write Laura
#6 By Anna Totten
Amazing, aren’t they? And I know it will be a tough choice!
Please vote for the one you think is best in the poll below by Thursday July 2 at 5 PM EDT.
Can’t wait to see who the winner will be on Friday! Happy voting!!!
I was going to be so succinct and just get right to Would You Read It today, and you were going to be so proud of me for my extreme brevity… I had it all planned out…
Remember how I told you that the prizes kept rolling in?
Here’s what our goody bag of prizes looks like now! (words in color are links for more info)
– Julie Hedlund‘s fantastic new course How To Make Money As An Author, interesting, educational and suitable for writers at any stage of their career
– a 2015 membership to Children’s Book Insider, an absolutely fabulous resource for kid lit writers of all kinds generously offered by Jon Bard and Laura Backes
– a picture book manuscript critique from the renowned Alayne Christian (prose only, 800 words or less) Alayne Kay Christian is an award winning author of BUTTERFLY KISSES FOR GRANDMA AND GRANDPA. She is represented by Erzsi Deak of Hen&Ink Literary Studio. To read more about Alayne, her critique service, and her books visit her websites and blog. – a picture book manuscript critique (rhyme or prose) from Penny Parker Klostermann who, after extensive experience critiquing for writing partners, members of various kid lit groups, and clients of Erin Murphy Literary Agency, is opening her own critique service!!!
Penny Parker Klostermann writes picture books and poetry. Her debut book, THERE WAS AN OLD DRAGON WHO SWALLOWED A KNIGHT, is coming from Random House Children’s, August 2015. Penny is represented by Tricia Lawrence of Erin Murphy Literary Agency. Click HERE to learn more about her critique service.
– a picture book manuscript critique by Tracey M. Cox! Tracey offers a full critique on a fiction PB, 800 words or less, which will include overall impression and line-by-line on a prose only pb ms. She will also include thoughts and marketing ideas that she thinks about and if she can think of references, she’ll add them also. Tracey M. Cox has been writing professionally since 2000 and is an author of 6 picture books. She is an active member in the children’s literature community and explores how to self-market on little to no budget.
– a personalized signed copy of I WANNA GO HOME by Karen Kaufman Orloff, the latest in the brilliant PB series that began with I WANNA IGUANA.
– a personalized signed copy of I AM COW HEAR ME MOO by Jill Esbaum (reviewed for Perfect Picture Books HEREand HERE – yep, it’s so popular it got reviewed for PPBF twice :))
– a personalized signed copy of NINJA RED RIDING HOOD by Corey Rosen Schwartz, the riveting follow-up to THE THREE NINJA PIGS.
– a PDF copy of Ryan Sias’s A Spooky-Doodle E-Book, “doodle pages, drawing lessons and writing prompts inspire kids to invent their own stories, characters and artwork.”
And I’d like to clarify (because I got asked) that people who donate prizes are still eligible to enter the contest! Just, if they win, I won’t give them their own prize 🙂 And that is 10 prizes now, all very generously donated! So I’m hoping we’ll get at least 10 entries 🙂
Okay! Now back to our regularly scheduled programing. (Brevity is overrated anyway… :))
Since I know you’re all revved up at the prospect of all those amazing prizes, and are going to run right off to your favorite writing corner and get to work on your entries as soon as you’ve commented for today’s WYRI pitcher, let me fortify you with a little Something Chocolate! 🙂
Since Halloween is coming, it’s important that we embrace the occasion in our chocolate snacks. Today (don’t be scared!) we have Spooky Boo Brownies!!!
Find the recipe HERE if you want to give these scary delights a try! 🙂
Oooh! So spooky! . . . and chocolatey and delicious 🙂
Now then, today’s pitch comes to us from Debbie who says, “I have been writing all my life but have been more serious about it in the last 5 years, joining groups like SCBWI and Julie Hedlund’s 12 X 12, taking courses like MPBM (Making Picture Book Magic), and attending conferences. Susanna’s knowledge, generosity, and encouragement make this group essential to my writing life. Thank you, Susanna! And thank you all in advance for your feedback.” (Debbie’s website will be up soon, and when it is, I’ll let you know where to find her! :))
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: Your Friend, Conrad Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-8) The Pitch: Conrad receives an invitation to visit his best friend Fiona. She tells him he’ll need to bring a sword, a bow and arrow, and … exactly ten marshmallows?! Conrad bravely sets out not knowing that the path will lead him into a leaky boat, past pesky ravens, through prickly brambles, and to the edge of a moat where a sweets-loving dragon lurks in the deep. Will this unlikely hero have the wits (and enough marshmallows) to make it to Fiona’s front door?
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Debbie improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read Itor on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above. There are one or two openings left for this year, since there will be a hiatus for the Holiday Contest and the holidays themselves, so polish up your pitch and grab one of the last couple spots for your chance to be read by editor Erin Molta before 2015!
Debbie is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I think I said this last week (and I’ll probably say it next week :)) but I am looking forward to the Halloweensie Contest! I seriously can’t wait to read what y’all come up with, and I also can’t wait to give away all these lovely and amazing prizes! Let’s have a round of applause for our very generous donors! 🙂
I guess the busy-ness of life is catching up with everyone. This is the third Monday in a row I’ve had someone scheduled to appear here and they’ve not been able to do it after all.
So, I don’t really have much to share.
As it’s a day off from school, I will be helping my husband with his new music video.
In case you have the impression that I will be doing anything musical, I will not. My job is lunch. And holding stuff.
But I’ll post you a link one of these days when it’s finished.
So that’s it! You are excused early 🙂 Go have a lovely day off 🙂
You didn’t sleep a wink all weekend just desperate to know who would make the finalists list for the Holiday Contest!
It’s okay. You can admit it. I understand 🙂
But now it’s finally Monday! And you can find out!
After a few words from our sponsors 🙂
First, I want to thank EVERYONE who found time in their busy holiday season schedule to write an entry for this contest. With a final count of 118 entries, this was by far the most well-subscribed contest I’ve ever held. The overall quality of the entries was absolutely amazing! There were no easy cuts. My assistant judges and I found something to like in every story and hated having to cut anyone!
Second, I want to thank EVERYONE who took the time to go around to as many of the 81 different blogs as you could, as well as the 38 entries posted in the comments here, and read and leave supportive comments for the writers who worked so hard on these stories. In this business where rejection is a common and unavoidable part of the process, it means a great deal to writers to know that their work was read and enjoyed and to receive a few kind words about their writing. It is one of the best things about this community – that people are so generous and kind to each other.
Third, before I list the finalists, I want to say again how really difficult it was to choose. There were so many fabulous entries. The sheer volume means that many great stories had to be cut. So if yours didn’t make the final cut please don’t feel bad. There was a huge amount of competition. Judging, no matter how hard we try to be objective, is always subjective at a certain point – we all have our own preferences for what makes a great story. And the fact that you didn’t make the final cut DOES NOT mean you didn’t write a great story. Everyone who plonked their butt in a chair and worked hard to write a story for this contest is a winner! You showed up. You did your best work. You practiced your craft. You wrote to specifications. You bravely shared your writing with the world. And you have a brand new story that is now yours to hone and tweak if you like and maybe submit at some point to a magazine or as a PB manuscript. So bravo to everyone who entered!
Finally, I’d like to be very clear about the voting process. Due to the large number of entries, there are 14 finalists listed below. I have deliberately listed them by title only, so as to help with objectivity. Please read through them and choose the one you feel is best and vote. You are MOST welcome to share a link to this post on FB, twitter, or wherever you like to hang out and encourage people to come read ALL the finalists and vote for the one they think is best. Please do that. The more people who read and enjoy these stories the better, and the more objective votes we get the better. HOWEVER (and I want to be very clear on this) please do not ask people to vote for a specific number or title, or for the story about Vixen and the canoe or whatever. Trolling for votes or trying to influence the outcome is counter to the spirit of this competition which is supposed to be based on merit. I thank you in advance for respecting this.
Now, without further ado, here are your finalists. There is a mix of poetry and prose, funny, cute, and poignant – quite a spread! Remember that the judging criteria were: 1. Kid-appeal! – These stories are intended for a young audience, so entries that were well-written but lacked child-friendliness or whose humor or content felt more appropriate for an older or adult audience did not make the cut. 2. Suitability of mishap to holiday/originality of mishap – the rules stated a holiday mishap, so entries that lacked a mishap did not make the cut even if they were well-written. 3. Quality of story – the rules stated that entries were to tell a story, so if they appeared to be more of a description or mood piece, they didn’t make the cut. We looked for a true story arc. 4. Quality of writing – use of language, correctness of tense, spelling and grammar, quality of rhyme and meter for the poetry entries, and overall impression of writing were factored in. 5. Originality and creativity – because that is often what sets one story above another. We cut 104 entries to leave you with these 14. It was very hard! We did the best we could. I hope you’ll all find at least one of your favorites on the list below. #1 THE GREAT CHRISTMAS MORNING MIX UP
‘Twas the morning of Christmas. Fresh snow sparkled bright.
Eager eyes, young and old, woke with hope and delight.
For THIS was the day it would all become clear!
Had their patience and kindness been noticed this year?
Old sweet gray-haired Granny, who lived down the street,
had asked for fur slippers to warm up her feet.
Wrapped under her tree was an iPod, instead.
“What’s this thing-a-ma-jig? Does it need to be fed?”
Confused, little Claire, sadly stared with a frown.
Men’s large tighty-whities? She wrote down a crown!
Max wished for a toy, not a stick carved from wood –
his whisper to Santa was misunderstood!
Poor four-year-old Nate wanted alphabet blocks.
He cried when he opened up argyle socks.
And old man McGee had requested a cane.
But how could he walk with a jet-propelled plane?
The neighbors all gathered outside in the square.
“Santa messed up!” “Does he no longer care?”
“Did he drink too much nog?” “Get confused in the fog?”
“Did his hand-written list become lunch for his dog?”
As they chittered and chattered, up hobbled McGee,
a plane in his hand, and a wobbly knee.
Max noticed a use for that stick in his hand.
He traded McGee, who could now proudly stand.
The rest of the town followed Max’s kind lead.
They searched with their gifts to find someone in need.
With an uproar of giggles, the Mayor said, “Claire!
I’ll give you my crown for the underwear pair!”
Then lastly, the iPod. Teens gathered around.
To Granny’s surprise, the small square produced sound!
As they patiently taught her to download a song,
she played Christmas classics. They all sang along.
The families set out their warm suppers to share.
No person left hungry, all plates were licked bare.
They toasted their glasses with “CLINKS” and with “CLANKS”.
They feasted, shared laughter, and offered up thanks.
Perhaps ol’ Saint Nick was no senile man.
Maybe this mix-up was really his plan.
For THIS Christmas season was not for receiving,
but gathering, giving, and mostly, believing.
#2 BEHIND SCHEDULE
Santa was used to getting letters, but this one was different.
“Antler Air was having a last-minute special, so we booked a trip to Europe! Don’t worry, Santa. We’ll be back to fly the sleigh. – The Red-Nosed Guy”
“But there’s only three days until Christmas Eve!” said Ernie the Elf.
“Rudolf’s responsible,” said Santa.
The next day Santa received a text message.
“Europe’s a hoot! Visiting the louvre. Skiing in switzerland. Home tom 2 deliver toys 🙂 rudolf et al”
“They know how to ski?” asked Ernie.
Santa shrugged.
The next day Santa’s phone buzzed.
“Holland having sale on wooden clogs. Behind schedule, but will make it & have surprise 4 u! LOL ;-)” rudolf & co
“Behind schedule!” Santa bawled.
Christmas Eve arrived the next day, as did another text.
“OMG! All non-sleigh flying banned! May b spending 2nite in germany :-[ Rudy”
“How will we pull the sleigh?” bellowed Santa. His round belly shook, and his rosy cheeks turned blotchy.
“I have an idea!” said Ernie, and he scampered off.
He returned in the wink of an eye.
“You want me to use . . . moose?” asked Santa.
“Meet Amble, Shamble, Shuffle, Stroll, Dawdle, Dillydally, Linger, Lumber, and Bob,” said Ernie.
“They’re so . . . BIG. They’re supposed to be tiny reindeer.”
“We’ll use four,” said Ernie.
“Are they more rapid than eagles?” asked Santa.
“Good question!”
The moose stood still.
“If they can fly, the gig is theirs,” said Santa.
Ernie hitched the moose to the magic sleigh.
“To the house-top!” said Santa, and up they went.
Then down they plummeted through the roof.
“On second thought, looks like you won’t be dashing anywhere,” said Ernie.
There was prancing on the rubble. “I’ll guide the way.”
“Rudolf!” said Santa. “How did you—”
“We hitched a ride with Father Time. These are for you.” He held up a pair of extra-large Lederhosen.
On Christmas morning, Rudolf awoke to a letter:
“Kris Cringle Cruises was having a New Year’s deal. We’re off to the Greek Isles! Don’t forget to clean the factory. – Santa & the missus”
#3 SERIOUSLY SANTA
Dear Santa, Hi, remember me?
I asked you for a pet.
A goldfish or chinchilla,
That’s what I hoped I’d get.
But seriously Santa?
A reindeer? Really? Gee!
First he ate the ornaments
And then he ate the tree!
He ate the treetop angel
And the lights! Now that was shocking.
He swallowed all the garland down
And then he ate my stocking!
We couldn’t find a name tag.
Is he Vixen? Is he Comet?
But when he barfed up tinsel,
I thought I’d call him Vomit.
So Santa, what’s your policy
On taking presents back?
We just can’t keep this reindeer
Who eats curtains for a snack!
And after all that eating,
When he could munch no more,
He left a present of his own
Upon the hardwood floor.
You must be trying to downsize.
I guess you just don’t need him.
But gee, before you dropped him off,
How come you didn’t feed him?
I know you must be tired,
Too pooped to come yourself.
But please! Come get this reindeer!
If you have to, send an elf!
Seriously, Santa,
Old Vomit has to go.
I tried to put him in the yard—
He doesn’t like the snow!
He likes it by our wood stove
With a sofa for his head.
I must admit he’s comfy
When I use him for a bed.
He’s helpful with the firewood,
And holds our hats and coats.
I’m sure he keeps my bedroom safe
From alien zombie goats.
I went on-line for reindeer chow,
I guess we’ll be OK.
He’s so cute when he’s sleeping…
So Santa, he can stay.
P.S. Next year I’ll leave cookies
And cocoa in the kitchen.
But promise me I won’t wake up
and find you’ve left us Blitzen!
#4 A MIXED UP CHRISTMAS
#5 SANTA’S SPECIAL GIFT
Bags packed tight with Christmas gifts,
Loaded on his sleigh,
Santa called to Mrs. Claus,
“I’ll be on my way!”
But Mrs. Claus rushed to his side.
“Wait one minute, dear!
She dropped a present in his hands.
“A special gift this year!”
Perhaps she’d bought a new fur hat?
Warm and wooly socks?
Santa ripped the paper off,
Opened up the box.
“With years of wear,” said Mrs. Claus,
“Your maps are such a mess.
To help you find your way this time,
I’ve bought a GPS!”
“But how to hold it?” Santa asked.
“I need my hands to steer.”
“With this,” she said, and Velcro-strapped
it to a reindeer’s rear.
Fingers flying o’er the screen with
Rapid button presses,
Santa typed in names and streets —
thousands of addresses.
Lights and arrows flashed onscreen while
Santa sat there waiting,
drumming fingers while a tinny
voice said, “Calculating…”
The GPS began to shake,
smoke poured from its top.
Beep! Boop! Fizzle! Snap and sizzle!
Then a giant POP!
The startled reindeer jumped and jerked.
They lifted off to go.
But pulling back upon the reins,
Santa shouted, “WHOOA!”
“Now steady, boys!” He calmed his team
and motioned to an elf.
“Please run inside and grab my maps —
I’ll find the route myself.”
Elves and reindeer stopped to watch
enormous maps unfold.
A giant grid with children’s homes
Each marked with dots of gold.
So many good kids in the world!
It came as no surprise
that Santa’s map lit up and twinkled
like the starry skies.
He clapped his hands, snapped the reins.
“Now, dash away!” he cried.
With a whooosh the sleigh began
its global nighttime ride.
Each stocking stuffed and gift dropped off,
Soon Santa’s work was done.
He flew back to his frosty home
Before the dawning sun.
As Santa stood by Mrs. Claus,
He held a mangled mess —
tangled wires and plastic bits —
The broken GPS.
He kissed his wife and said to her,
“It was a thoughtful treat
But sometimes old things work the best —
Did you keep the receipt?” #6 THE CHRISTMAS PRESENT
The puppy Santa left under my tree on Christmas Eve has been acting a bit weird. Don’t get me wrong…I absolutely LOVE him…his fur is brown, and he is as soft as my favorite fuzzy blanket. He has big brown eyes, skinny legs, and a cute stubby tail. I think he likes the way I taste because he licks me all the time.
When it was time to eat, though, he sniffed his dog food bowl, looked at me, and walked away. I was eating salad for dinner and dropped a lettuce leaf on the floor. Guess what happened…my dog ate it right up and looked at me for more. So I put my whole bowl of salad on the floor. He loved it…I think my dog is a vegetarian. He can eat my vegetables every day, no problem!
When it was time to drink, though, he sniffed his water bowl, looked at me, and walked away. I was drinking hot chocolate for dessert. I even had a candy cane to stir it with. I poured a little into his bowl. Guess what happened…my dog drank it right up and looked at me for more. So I poured my whole cup of hot chocolate in his bowl, candy cane and all. He loved it!
When it was time to go to bed, though, he wouldn’t sit still. He kept running and jumping in the hallway. He leaped off the bed. He leaped off the dresser. Then guess what happened . . . he leaped off the top of the steps! I must say, he’s a pretty good jumper. He stayed in the air for at least 5 seconds.
I still haven’t decided what to name my puppy . . . oh, wait a minute . . . he’s wearing a name tag. It says, “Blitzen Jr.”. That’s a cool name for a dog, don’t you think? #7 THE LAST FLIGHT OF CHRISTMAS
‘Twas the night before Christmas and Papa was late,
Snowed in at the airport, stuck at the gate.
“My plane has been grounded. I’m sorry, my dear.
It looks like I’m going to miss Christmas this year.”
“But Papa,” I cried, as Mama drew near,
“It won’t be the same if you are not here!”
“Don’t worry,” said Mama, squeezing me tight,
“Maybe Dad will be able to catch the next flight.”
I had put on my jammies and climbed into bed
When a terrible thought entered my head.
“If snow’s going to keep us from being together,
How will Santa arrive in such wintery weather?”
“Santa will make it even if the snow’s deep,
But he won’t come to visit unless you’re asleep!”
Mama gave me a kiss and turned off my light,
Then I tossed and I turned the rest of the night.
I had just drifted off and was dreaming of toys,
When I woke with a start after hearing a noise.
“Santa!” I whispered and jumped out of bed.
“He made it for Christmas just like Mama said!”
In my robe and my slippers, I ran down the stairs
And found Papa, not Santa, in one of our chairs.
“Papa!” I cried. “When did you make it home?
You said you were stuck when we talked on the phone!”
“Surprise!” exclaimed Papa, “but I found my way
With a jolly red elf who was driving a sleigh!”
“You met Santa?” I asked, “He gave you a ride?”
“With some help from his reindeer,” Papa replied.
“Mama! I shouted, “You won’t guess who’s here!
Papa! He’s made it for Christmas this year!”
“Santa also delivered a present or two.”
“But Papa,” I cried, “the best present is you!” #8 THREE LITTLE KINGS
On Dia de los Reyes, three boys dressed as little kings sit in la cocina, the kitchen, while Mama makes dough for Three Kings Cake—a large Rosca, a wreath, with plastic baby Jesus baked inside. Plop! Plop! Plop!
Into the dough, go one, two, three baby Jesus figurines. Three sets of eyes watch wide-eyed as Mama says, “Now we let it rise.”
“What will we do? Jesus can’t go in the oven,” says king number one to kings two and three. They all nod their heads.
Tip-toe. Tip-toe. The Little Kings take a peek. Mama is fast asleep…
Tip-toe. Tip-toe. Quick! Make the switch.
Aye yi yi!
Too late! Papa is in la cocina getting a drink. When he leaves…
Tip-toe. Tip-toe. Quick! Make the switch.
Aye yi yi!
Uh oh! Now Sister is searching for a snack. The three Little Kings try not to make a peep. Soon she leaves… Tip-toe. Tip-toe. Quick! Make the switch.
Arriba los Reyes! Yea!
They escape la cocina right on time.
When Mama wakes she bakes the cake. When night arrives it’s time to cut the wreath.
One. . .two. . .three plastic dinosaurs instead—just as sweet!
#9 ELF EMERGENCY
The elves smiled and waved as the sleigh slipped past the moon and into the Christmas Eve sky.
“Let’s have some cocoa,” said CLEO, Chief Loader of Elf Operations.
But then he stopped.
In the corner, behind a bag of Reindeer Nibbles, was a toy.
“Oh My Gumdrops!” he said.
He looked at the Elf-Emergency Button on his belt.
“No,” he said. “Santa’s busy.”
“Surely I can deliver one toy.”
He whistled for Wanderer, Reindeer-In-Training. Wanderer was an excellent flyer, but sometimes got his directions mixed up.
So, they picked up ENZO, Elf of Navigation and Zooming Operations, and were off.
“There it is,” said ENZO. “Down there.”
Wanderer slowed and settled on the roof.
CLEO looked at the chimney.
“Well, here goes.”
Whoosh!
Flip!
Bounce!
Flumpph!
Headfirst into a stocking.
CLEO wiggled.
He squirmed.
He twisted.
“Wanderer . . . ENZO . . . Heeeelp!”
Whoosh-whoosh!
Flip-flip!
Bounce-bounce!
Thwack! Jingle!
“Wanderer?”
“ENZO?”
“Stuck!” said Wanderer. “Antlers entangled in Christmas tree.”
“Stuck!” said ENZO. “Swinging from garland by bell-bedecked booties.”
“And . . . stuck!” said CLEO. “Stuffed in a stocking.”
CLEO sighed.
“Speaking of stuck, I should’ve stuck to loading. I’m not good at chimneys.”
“I should’ve stuck to flying,” said Wanderer.
“I should’ve stuck to navigating,” said ENZO.
“Good thing we know someone who is good at chimneys,” said CLEO.
“Yep,” said Wanderer and ENZO.
CLEO wiggled.
He squirmed.
He twisted.
Finally he reached the Elf-Emergency Button on his belt.
Whoosh!
Black boots.
Red suit.
“Ho-ho-ho!”
Perfect landing.
“Mighty Mistletoe!” said Santa. “This is an emergency.”
When he was free, CLEO held out the toy.
“I’m sorry, Santa.”
“It’s OK, CLEO,” said Santa. “That’s why we have an Elf-Emergency Button. Go ahead. You put the toy under the tree.”
CLEO smiled.
Santa chuckled and said, “Thanks to a well-loaded sleigh, that’s the last delivery.”
“Let’s go home.”
“Wanderer, why don’t you fly with the team?”
“EZNO, will you drive?”
“CLEO, please sit right here by me.”
And as the sleigh slipped past the moon and into the Christmas Eve sky, Santa said . . .
“Let’s have some cocoa.”
#10 THE FLIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
‘Twas a week before Christmas and all was not well.
While out on a test flight, the sleigh hit a swell.
An icy cold blast took St. Nick by surprise
and sent him careening through blustery skies.
Tossed this-a-way, that-a-way, capsized, upended,
a thought flashed before him as Santa descended:
What good are warm boots and a snazzy red suit,
if what you don’t have is a good parachute?
He called to his reindeer (though none were in sight),
“Come Dasher! Come Dancer! Be swift in your flight!
Come Prancer and Vixen! Come Comet and Cupid!”
But none of them came, and poor Santa felt stupid.
Through clouds of whipped cream, he kerplopped like a cherry;
his jolly demeanor, now somewhat less merry.
With huge, booming voice he exclaimed,
“HO HO HO!
READY OR NOT…
LOOK OUT BELOW!”
Unaware, until then, of the ill-fated flight,
the elves all looked up with their jaws dropped in fright.
Could it be? Yes, it was! Old St. Nick in free fall!
Those quick-witted elves wasted no time at all.
They worked as a team, without missing a beat,
to pile up snow, oh, at least fifty feet.
Would Santa Claus notice with everything white?
He needed a map he could read from great height.
So the elves in their hats of bright red and bright green
encircled the mound to make sure it was seen—
the red hats on one side, the green on the other.
At first they formed one word, and then came another:
the reds on the left side spelled L-A-N-D;
on the right were the green hats with H-E-R-E.
While Santa still dropped like a streak through the sky,
he saw this and gave a most gratified sigh.
He aimed, best he could, for the elves’ snowy mound
that cushioned his fall when, at last, he hit ground.
Nothing came close to the love Santa felt…
with a smile he said, “Guess I need a seat belt.”
#11 THE GIFT HORSE
Mistletoe clip-clopped past the reindeer’s empty stalls. As Santa prepared to deliver presents around the world, Mistletoe dreamed of spreading Christmas magic too. But horses can’t fly and Mistletoe’s nose didn’t glow.
Just before the reindeer ascended into the sky, Mistletoe noticed a present poking out of Santa’s sack. It said, To Santa. Love, Mrs. Clause. Mistletoe neighed, bucked, and whinnied to alert Santa of the mistake, but he was too late. The sleigh was gone.
Mistletoe peered inside Santa’s cottage. Mrs. Clause slept peacefully. There wasn’t a single present for Santa under the Christmas tree.
This is horrible, thought Mistletoe. Santa surprises everyone with presents on Christmas, but there are no presents for Santa!
Then Mistletoe understood that he had the power to make Christmas magic. He cantered to Santa’s barn.
“Santa is giving away his only present,” Mistletoe told Owl. “Let’s surprise Santa with gifts on Christmas morning, just like he surprises us.”
“That’s a brilliant idea,” agreed wise Owl.
“But I don’t have anything to give him,” said Mistletoe.
“We all have gifts to give,” said Owl. “I’ll pluck my fluffy feathers to make a pillow.”
“I’ll paint my eggs to make ornaments for Santa’s tree,” said Chicken.
“I’ll knit my wool into a cozy sweater,” said Sheep.
“I’ll whip my milk into creamy pudding,” said Cow.
Mistletoe polished one of his horseshoes until it sparkled. He would give it to Santa for good luck.
The animals worked hard on their gifts. When they heard sleigh bells in the distance, Mistletoe galloped to Santa’s cottage and arranged the gifts under the tree. Mistletoe raced back to the barn where he and the other animals quickly went to sleep.
On Christmas morning, Mistletoe awoke to find TWO peppermints in his saddle bag! But Mistletoe’s best gift was still to come. He trotted to Santa’s cottage and watched Santa open his presents. Santa and Mrs. Clause’s eyes twinkled brighter than the snow. Mistletoe’s teeth stretched into a smile.
“Now you know my secret,” said Santa, winking at Mistletoe. “Giving to others is the best gift of all.”
#12 A MERRY THANKSGIVING
’Twas Thanksgiving evening, and all through the house
not a creature was hungry…not even a mouse.
The remains of our feast were tucked safely away
in the fridge to make sandwiches for the next day.
A vision of leftovers danced in my head—
sliced turkey and stuffing on warm toasted bread,
when all of a sudden, I heard on the roof
a prancing and pawing that sounded like…hoofs?
Then, from the kitchen, arose such a clatter,
I raced down the stairs to see what was the matter.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
as I flipped on the light…but a herd of reindeer!
At the table sat Dasher, with Donder and Vixen,
devouring some leftover turkey-day fixin’s.
Cupid, that devil, perched high on a chair
and gobbled the peas with a satisfied air,
while Dancer and Prancer stood huffing and puffing,
engaged in a tug-of-war over our stuffing.
In the corner old Comet was filling his belly
with all of our leftover cranberry jelly.
And, taking our pumpkin pie down from the shelf,
dressed all in fur, was the big man himself.
I spoke not a word — just what does one say
when Thanksgiving turns into a reindeer buffet?
They looked up, mid-bite, and I watched Mr. Claus
turn exactly the color of Rudolph’s bright schnoz.
I hated to see what was left of our feast
being gulped by that gaggle of gluttonous beasts.
But I thought about Santa — I thought of the years
he’d braved winter snowstorms to spread Christmas cheer
with the presents he left me, and that’s when I knew
there was only one thing I could possibly do.
I took out a knife and I sliced up that pie,
and I said to him, “Santa, I’m glad you dropped by.”
He laughed, and we feasted till late, almost dawn,
and then Santa, our pie, and the reindeer were gone.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“’Twas the spirit of Christmas on Thanksgiving night!” #13 THE SCHOOL CONCERT
This was the first time Dad had ever come to the end of year concert.
Annie peered between the shoulders of the two children in front of her in the choir.
The teacher had lined them up so they could all clearly see their parents in the audience.
Annie was so excited her skin felt too small to fit inside. Dad was finally going to hear her sing.
The teacher began to play the introduction on the old piano and everyone stood up straight ready to sing their best.
Annie had the solo and had practiced for weeks. She was going to sing her best for her Dad.
A movement at the back of the hall caught Annie’s eye and she saw the Dads whispering to each other and begin to stand up.
Annie felt her throat tighten as she watched her Dad stand up too.
Soon only the mothers were left in the hall with little babies and high school kids.
Annie couldn’t sing. Tears slid down her face.
She knew he had to go. Christmas was fire season in Australia.
All the Dads and some of the Mums had to leave. They fought bravely to save homes, farms and live stock.
Annie wished just once it could be cold and snowy at Christmas, like it was on the Christmas cards.
Then her Dad could hear her sing in the school concert.
The other children kept singing and soon it would be Annie’s turn but she just wanted to run off the stage and hide.
She closed her eyes and tried to hide behind the boy in front so the Mums couldn’t see her cry.
“False alarm” someone whispered loudly at the back of the hall and all the Dads and a few Mums came tiptoeing back into the hall.
Annie’s heart swelled with joy as she watched her Dad sit back down.
She lifted her voice to the stars above and sang like an angel. #14
PHEW! Now that you’ve had a chance to read through the finalists, please vote below for the one you think deserves to win by Wednesday December 18 at 5 PM EST. Winners of all kinds will be announced on Thursday December 19!
Thank you all so much for taking the time to write (if you did), read, and vote! These contests simply wouldn’t be what they are without all of you!
I can’t wait to see who the winners will be!
Tune in Thursday… same bat time, same bat station 🙂
Susanna Leonard Hill 
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